Banker: Hello, and welcome to First Universal Federal Bilk, I mean bank.
Customer: Yes, I’d like to close my checking account
Banker: Well, let’s take a look. Oh, you have our interest checking. What seems to be the problem?
Customer: I earned two cents last month.
Banker: Well, too bad.
Customer: I want more.
Banker: Well, baby can’t have dessert until he eats his vegetables
Banker: Maybe you should lock up your money in one of our CDs
Customer: No, I want interest, but I still wanna spend my money
Banker: Well, you know I wish I could fly. I wish clouds were made of ice cream. I wish I didn’t have issues with my mother. I wish…
Customer: Just give me my money….please!
Announcer: Make your money work harder with Washington Mutual’s Platinum Checking Account. It offers one of the best interest rates around and unlimited access to your money. To open your Platinum account, visit any Washington Mutual Financial center today.
Banker: I wish chocolate didn’t go straight to my hips. I wish Fluffy hadn’t run away.
Announcer: Washington Mutual. More human interest. Restrictions apply. Ask for details. FDIC insured.