The History of the World – Part 1
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Desert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the desert are cultivated by irritation.
The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, “Am I my brothers son?”
G*d asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his 12 sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacobs sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharoah forced to make the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without ingrediants. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Soloman, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Later came Job, who had one trouble after another. Eventually, he lost all his cattle and all his children and had to go live alone with his wife in the desert.
Contributed by Richurd
Excerpted from “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer
This is a compilation of students answers on test papers,
and whose recollection of his may be some what different from your own.