meet the heavy- TF2

February 19, 2020

Heavy: “I am Heavy Weapons Guy… and this [grabs Minigun] is my weapon. [lays both hands covetously on Minigun] She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. [looks intently at viewer] It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon…for twelve seconds.”

Heavy: [Laughs]

Heavy: [Checks the barrel of his Minigun] “Oh my G*d, who touched Sasha? Alright…Who touched my gun!?”

Heavy: “Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, [sniff] maybe. I’ve yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.”

Heavy: [Holds up cartridge to the camera as sound of Minigun revving up is heard]

[Scene cuts to Dustbowl as Heavy devastates the enemies with his Minigun on Stage 1, Cap 1.]

[Team Fortress 2 theme plays.]

Heavy: “Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah! Ahahahahaha! Cry some more!”

[Cuts to black.]

Heavy: “Heheh. Cry some more.”

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