[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
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• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

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[Tim Kraft]

Hey all – working toward a promo demo next month, and have two short reads from the script library…one going for the happy vacation voice, the other trying for a more “mysterious” tone. Would either get you to rent the car or watch the show?

Any and all feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance!

Alamo Travel Discounts
Flock to Florida, hang ten in Hawaii, cruise in California… whichever sun-sational trip you take, you’ll get discounts of up to 25% off Alamo’s great rates, so you can have a cool time in a hot place. See ya in the sun!

Ancient Mysteries
Man has been compelled by the wonders of the unknown since the beginning of time. From the possible existence of Big Foot to the grips of a mummy’s curse. Uncover the truth behind “Ancient Mysteries” tonight on Channel 4…NBC.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by Tim Kraft.

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[M]

Hello Tim! Great job. I echo BJ’s thoughts: “25% Alamo” is the meat of the promo with all of the preceding, alliterate pairings as the garnish. Really have fun with the latter and add some “umph” to the former. perfect pace. Good tone.

[BJ]

Hi Tim,

How exciting – working on your promo demo!

Alamo Travel Discounts
Nice pacing – you sound like you’re smiling:). Just two thoughts – Try going up in pitch in the beginning of the word California – so that this line sounds as smiley strong as the Florida and Hawaii lines. Also, 25% is important to emphasize, but consider making the “T” in twenty fit your overall read by softening it. Lastly, consider emphasizing the brand “Alamo.”

Ancient Mysteries
I hear more of an announcer style here. Perhaps, for a more mysterious tone, picturing that you’re talking with a child will get you there.

Looking forward to hearing more from you,

BJ

[Tim Kraft]

Thanks much for the feedback M and BJ. A weird thing about that Alamo read – the script only says “Alamo” once, so it definitely should have been hit harder.

I’m probably a bit too conscious of diction, i.e the “T” in twenty. There’s a fine line between clear and over-annuncaiated, in listening now it sounds too harsh.

Thanks again for the great advice 🙂

[Provocaleric]

Dear Nikka,
You have a friendly, clear voice that I want to listen to! However, if I had to criticize I would say your pacing started great and then became a bit choppy and you sound a little disconnected from the copy, less reading it and more helping your friend or someone else. I like lead in’s they help me. Thank you for putting yourself out there and look forward to hearing more from you.

[Provocaleric]

Hi AnnellaKaine,
I think you voice can be perfect for e learning or telephony it sounds crisp and authoritative. I would only suggest to connect with the copy with a clear image in your mind. Lead in’s help as well I look forward to hearing more of you too!

[annellakaine]

Thanks for the listen and feedback!

[Provocaleric]

Hi BJ,
Excellent work! I really like both of your reads. I like your voice, it sounds friendly yet authoritative and I like your pace, volume and tone. I only suggest you try to get a couple of totally different versions of these reads recorded because you could be asked to do this. Great work.

[BJ]

Hi – Thanks so much for your kind words and for suggesting that I work on a couple of different versions – good idea!

[BJ]

Hi – Would you please give these reads a listen? The first narration is for a Non-Profit and the second is an Announcement. The copy is attached. What do you think is working and what’s not? I’m new to this Forum of Truth (as participant Provocaleric aptly named it) and I’m looking forward to hearing the truth from you. Grateful for your time and input! BJ

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[M]

Hi BJ. Professional reads on both as far as this novice can tell! Very confident. Appropriate tone. Engaging. Not a ton to critique, so these comments might fall into the category of personal preference and/or nit picky. Regarding Asthma: I felt a longer pause between the end of the sentence containing “health” and the start of the following sentence beginning with “They’ll…” would give it a bit more space. Also, I heard some breaths that interrupted the flow of the sentence (e.g., “learn more about asthma (breath) is to…” “Visit the allergy (breath) and asthma foundation” and “AAF (breath) dot o r g.” Regarding TJ: great energy. I thought you easily have the skill to maintain that crucial energy while slowing it down just a tad. Impressive!

[Luke V]

I really like both reads. Clear enunciation and emphasis on key words all on top of a consistent flow. I’m learning much about what to strive for my recordings simply by listening to yours. Your TJ read sounds exactly like something I’d expect to hear while shopping or on the radio.

[BJ]

Hi Luke – Thanks so much for the cheers! What’s so great about this Forum is that we get to learn from one another! BJ

[annellakaine]

Oops I’m having some tech trouble getting the 2nd sample to upload, not sure why. So I guess it’s just the one sample then!

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by annellakaine.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by annellakaine.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by annellakaine.

[annellakaine]

Hi all! Working on narration and would happily take any feedback you can spare. The first is a corporate explain and the second doc. Thanks!

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[BJ]

Hi – Thanks for sharing your read. For your consideration, think of slowing down a bit and creating a picture in your mind of who you’re speaking to. Looking forward to hearing more from you, BJ

[annellakaine]

Thank you!

[Nikka Kowidge]

Hi! I’d love some feedback on the attached commercial record. Conversational sound? I’m working on choosing a specific audience and speaking to them. Does that come through? Also, any and all comments on vocal quality and glottal stops. Thank you so much!

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[M]

Great job! Engaging, energetic but still natural. Nice variety of intonations. To me the word “camera” has a different accent than the rest of the piece. Along those lines but having more to do with the rising intonation, “seven” and the final “Google” could be spoken perhaps with more solid confidence. Excellent read! Look forward to hearing the other.

[Steven]

Hello!
This is a commercial practice piece. I would greatly appreciate some feedback on it.
Thanks for your help!

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[M]

Nice. Good energy. Good tone. Maybe consider mixing up the rhythm and intonation in the middle; the emphasis on “never” “been” “cereal” and “like” feels to me a little too predictable, but that could be just a personal preference for me and is definitely minor.

[Steven]

Interesting. I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’ll definitely play with this! Thank you!

[Nikka Kowidge]

Great read, Steven! Your voice quality fits this read very well. I like the way you slow down a little bit when describing the cereal, I can see the flakes and bunches in the bowl. I think you can vary your tone a little bit on the last sentence to indicate a little more excitement. The tone with the first sentence great and the last mirror each other, which makes sense because they are very similar sentiments. A difference on the end could help really hit home the idea.

[Steven]

Thanks for the feedback! I see what you mean, and I can hear it, now. Thanks!

[M]

Hello. Considering options for a narration reel (down the road a piece) and this one is a possibility. Any feedback/fresh ideas are welcome! no need to sugar coat! thanks people!

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[T Hayes]

I thought this sounded very good! I liked your tone and the pace was appropriate. My one suggestion for improvement is the introduction sounded a little choppy and a tad bit too slow.

[M]

I completely agree! Thanks so much!

[M]

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[Author]

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