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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 7 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by
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CreatorTopic
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AuthorReplies
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March 27, 2023 at 10:59 am #85704
annellakaine
ParticipantHi all! Heading into another private coaching session and would love some help with my homework. I’m naturally a fast talker in life and am having some trouble slowing down in my reads without the tone getting too presentational because of it, since what feels “conversational” to me is usually too fast. Any advice welcome, thanks!
(Some upload errors– there is a duplicate of the Pet Adoption file, it’s not two different takes. The Apple file is a lower export quality because for some reason the Forum won’t let me upload my preferred export quality eve though it’s under the file size limit. So not too worried about sound quality there. Mostly looking for creative/performance help!)
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
annellakaine.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
annellakaine.
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March 27, 2023 at 12:16 pm #85713
BJ
ParticipantHi – Being from NJ, I definitely understand the talking fast thing:). I think the pace of your individual sentences is good. The only place you may want to slow down is on the sentence that includes “so this is an important decision,” just so you’re giving the listener/viewer a chance for it to sink in. Also, consider cutting down a bit on the pause between your first and second sentences. I really like the smile I hear in your voice when you say “puppy kindergarten and teaching your dog tricks.” Nice job.
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March 27, 2023 at 5:51 am #85686
HMW
ParticipantOK…I have a couple more – Thx!
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March 27, 2023 at 12:37 pm #85715
BJ
ParticipantHi – I needed Crazy Uncle today. You made me laugh out loud! I really like how you transitioned from a scary laugh to a more light-hearted one. It reinforced that you were kidding around. You were kidding, right? 🙂 If not, I need a shot of Tennessee Whiskey! Nice tone and pacing. The last word in each of your first three sentences gets a bit lost. I’d like to hear a version of this where you give it a more gritty read.
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April 3, 2023 at 1:49 am #85921
HMW
ParticipantHey BJ; Thx for listening and the constructive comments. I’m so glad “Crazy Uncle” got you laughing – and maybe a shot of Tennessee Whiskey 🙂
I’ll see if I can get a few more takes in to improve in the suggested areas this week.
Peace/Blessings
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March 28, 2023 at 8:02 am #85749
Michele Martin
ParticipantHi HMW- love your voice! To me, it feels “cool” and wise at the same time. On Tennessee Whiskey- I think that in “law unabidin’”, the “un” syllable could use the emphasis in order to differentiate it from “law abidin”. That’s all I got! Really enjoyed your read and thought your voice was a great for it.
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March 28, 2023 at 3:38 pm #85761
Michele Martin
ParticipantP.S. My comments were for the whiskey read 🙂
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April 3, 2023 at 1:55 am #85922
HMW
ParticipantHey Michele, thank you for listening and for the feedback – much appreciated! I will keep that in mind for the next recording.
Kind Regards.
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March 27, 2023 at 5:49 am #85681
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March 24, 2023 at 1:23 pm #85620
Michele Martin
ParticipantHi! Here are two scripts I’m working on. Please provide feedback if you feel inclined 🙂
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Michele Martin.
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March 25, 2023 at 3:52 pm #85642
M
ParticipantBoth reads resonated. Great job! They are articulate, interesting and paced nicely.
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March 28, 2023 at 6:58 am #85748
Michele Martin
ParticipantThank you M! I appreciate you giving feedback 🙂
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March 24, 2023 at 1:40 pm #85625
BJ
ParticipantHi Michele – Your voice has such a lovely tone! Terrific job all around. Sign me up for the protein with oatmilk – and I don’t even like oatmilk. In Relax the Spa, once you hit “utilize” and from there on, you sped up a bit. I’d be curious to hear what it sounds like if you keep the same pace you started at the beginning. BJ
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March 24, 2023 at 2:14 pm #85626
Michele Martin
ParticipantThanks so much, BJ- I agree- I was also wondering if speeding up was the right choice on the Spa read. I was thinking maybe “rejuvenate” called for it, but now I’m thinking it distracts from the relaxing overall feel. Thank you for your feedback!
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March 24, 2023 at 2:15 pm #85627
Michele Martin
ParticipantP.S. Ha ha on the oat milk. I prefer coconut milk myself 🙂
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March 23, 2023 at 2:51 am #85593
monibr16
ParticipantHey friends, I should have just put these all in on entry. But here’s my last option for my demo. If anyone has time to give me feedback I greatly appreeciate it.
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March 23, 2023 at 9:01 pm #85612
Graceson
ParticipantWonderful voice! I would say to speed up just a tad. Your pacing was very smooth and uniform the whole way through the read so you’ve got that nailed. The only other thing would be to add a little more tone to the read. I know it’s hard to sound enthusiastic about credit cards (lol) but I would give it some more life. Wonderful read all-in-all. I think it will make a great demo!
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March 24, 2023 at 12:49 pm #85617
Michele Martin
ParticipantI think it sounds fantastic! I agree with the other comment that suggested speeding it up just a tad. I don’t think the subject matter calls for quite so much “slow and thoughtful” of a tone- but just a slight tweak! 🙂
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March 22, 2023 at 8:33 pm #85589
monibr16
ParticipantHi everyone, have another submission for my demo. All feedback welcome
Dunkin’ Donuts
This fall at Dunkin’ Donuts get lost in pumpkin, with a 1.99 medium macchiato or latte from 12 to 6 PM. Sip in the season today. America runs on Dunkin.Attachments:
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March 23, 2023 at 5:49 pm #85609
M
ParticipantYou have such a nice voice with a solid, lovely delivery. It seems and sounds very natural for you!
Suggestion: If you want to keep the pace of the read as is, I bet you could dig deep and add some more emotion. I hear a tad bit of it already with “get loooost in pumpkin” so try going with that for a read or two. I can hear the smile in “pumpkin” and it is really appealing.If the pace something you would consider changing, I would suggest adding some pep/energy and pace (it is caffein after all). Also, the alliteration of “Sip in the season” offers you a chance to have a little fun with those Ss!
You sound great…and don’t forget to smile!
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March 24, 2023 at 12:52 pm #85618
Michele Martin
ParticipantAnother fantastic read. You have such a great sound. I would just suggest that in the last line “America rubs on Dunkin” that you infuse it with a touch more pep/energy. Given that “runs on Dunkin” likely infers getting energy from their caffeinated drinks, I think a slightly more upbeat and energetic (nothing crazy, just a touch more) would be a nice fit for this read. Great piece!
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March 22, 2023 at 6:59 pm #85580
AAsterita
ParticipantWorking on scripts for my commercial demo. Would like some feedback on the read. Still getting my home studio together, but if there are any glaring issues please let me know. I did not clean these takes up, they are just for practice. Thank you!!!
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March 24, 2023 at 12:58 pm #85619
Michele Martin
ParticipantHi A! I thought your voice and tone was a great fit for the Tom’s script. (I’m just arbitrarily picking that read to comment on, not because I like it more or less than the others). I really enjoyed your time and how you made it seem like a nice versatile match for a child OR adult.my suggestion would be to read it without some of the pauses to increase smoothness of delivery. (I’m working on this suggestion from my coach, myself).You have a clear, professional sound IMO!
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March 23, 2023 at 5:10 pm #85608
M
ParticipantHello aasterita. Great job on the reads and interpretation of the context. A few comments…
Swiffer – great humorous delivery! I noticed some nasal breathing/unnecessary pauses after “mopping,” “I switched to swiffer wet jet,” “inside,” “plus,” “swiffer wet jet,” “ever,” and “love it.” All else was really smooth and allowed the message to be conveyed without distraction. I really liked the playful way you turned this dreaded chore into something funny.
Tom’s: GREAT fit for your youthful and flavorful voice! It was clear and succinct. I heard a couple of disruptive breaths e.g., “children (breath) uses,” “flavor (breath) appeals” but enjoyed the read and the way evoked the senses with “delicious real fruit”. Nicely done!
Door – great job. it was really clear and flowed easily.Overall, really nice work! Suggestion: assign breaths before you read and think about the muted nasal exhale, which does suggest a slight laugh, but might be slightly distracting.Overall
Super job.
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March 22, 2023 at 2:47 am #85548
Unity
ParticipantFeedback would be most appreciated
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Unity.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Unity.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Unity.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
Unity.
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March 22, 2023 at 5:12 pm #85568
M
ParticipantHello Unity. Good job on the reads. there is some tricky alliteration (e.g., “surprisingly simple”) that you handle well and a very sensory story that you tell. My overall suggestion for both reads and variations of each, would be to really emphasize those words that give you clues to their meaning. The obvious ones – “JOYS!” “bask” “warmth” “tender” “juicy” “celebrate”…- have a built in meaning and conjure up recollections in the listener’s mind. These images, flavors, smells and feels can be easily tapped into with just a little nudge from you, the speaker: try saying “warmth” the way if feels, “juicy” and “tender” the way they taste..etc…. The butterball turkey script is great and gives you an opportunity to really “ham’ it up! Great job. You’re on the right track and sound like you can dig in and really bring these scripts to life.
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March 22, 2023 at 2:03 am #85544
monibr16
ParticipantHey Y’all! Here’s another possible script im trying out for my demo. Feedback on everything besides equipment is welcome. Specifically if you can tell who my audience is and if it has a beginning middle and end. But cetainly other tips! Thank you 🙂
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March 22, 2023 at 5:22 pm #85569
M
ParticipantHello monibr16! I think this read is great..it’s engaging, interesting and told with nice variation, pitch and tone. Maybe take a listen to the the word “fit” in “guaranteed to find the perfect fit” – the intonation sounds slightly forced to me when compared to the natural conversational tone of the rest of the piece; but otherwise, it was very appealing. thanks!
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March 21, 2023 at 8:37 pm #85533
Artist7
ParticipantHello! I would definitely appreciate some feedback on these two reads. Thanks in advance!
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March 22, 2023 at 5:42 pm #85572
M
ParticipantArtist 7 – great high energy for both. Pam: good tone. great articulation. good ob on delivery!! Sesame was a little rushed for me. There is a lot to pack in there with the rides and the furries and the splashes and roller coasters and the …. (!) but I think maybe taking it down on pace slightly and relaxing the predictable up and down peaks and valleys in pitch, might serve the piece well. on the flip side, all of that energy really allows dme to envision the park and put me in the midst of the splashing water and the fuzzy characters.
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March 22, 2023 at 1:31 am #85539
Unity
ParticipantArtist 7. I thought Pam for Grilling was a great read. Good Tone, nice energy. Sesame place was a good read but a little tense. Thought the read could be a little more relaxed, maybe a tad slower.
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