[David Goldberg]

The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[carlakissane]

Hi all, I’m practicing for my commercial demo, and would appreciate your feedback! Thanks in advance, Carla

Honey Bunches of Oats
It’s amazing! I never thought one cereal would make my whole family stay for breakfast. HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS. There’s never been a cereal like it. With big corn flakes and crunchy bunches of oats. Finally … a cereal my whole family loves.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by carlakissane. Reason: Forgot to include the script!

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[kfvoice]

Hi Carla! Great pace and overall tone. I would suggest emphasizing “HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS” a little more. It does jump out on the script (as the product), so perhaps vary your pitch and tone, and make your audience know why you are excited! I hope this helps. Nice read!

[RYoung]

Great read and enthusiasm on this. I think you delivery sounded believable as well. only critique would be the last sentence, which is important, your inflection went down on “loves”, though easy fix, I would just highlight family and keep loves even, if that makes sense.

[mkell755]

Hi Carla! I really liked this read! The energy and flow was great, and the emphasis on several words was very appropriate. It sounded like you were smiling during the script too, which works very well for this type of script and for your voice. Good job!

Mary

[mkell755]

Hello all! Looking for feedback to this read, on one of my favorite subjects! Any and all feedback would be great. Thank you!

Sam Adams Beer
No matter how hard you try, you can not twist off the bottle cap of a Sam Adams. All that Sam Adams flavor is locked beneath a twenty one crimp bottle cap. So you’ll need a bottle cap opener to get at it…at the very least. Sam Adams, a better glass of beer.

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[carlakissane]

Hi there, I love your wry tone, and obvious love for the subject matter! I would say keep it moving as much as you can, there’s no need to slow down to make sure we understand the twenty one crimp bottle cap- because you help us out on the very next line! I think you could experiment going even further with a kind of ‘no-nonsense’ read, and find out who this character is, that really loves sam adams beer! Great work.

[mkell755]

Hi Carla, thanks for the feedback! I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how many crimps are on a bottle cap, but now I know, so I think I was just making sure others knew too 🙂 I will experiment with an even more no-nonsense read; great suggestion. All of the beer people I know are characters, so that should not be too difficult. Thanks again!

Mary

[katelyndawnvo]

Hi all! Here’s another commercial read as I prep for my upcoming demo (this is not on the demo but just practicing nonetheless) Thanks for any feedback! 🙂
Katelyn

True Car
I’m ready to buy a car. And you know what? I’m excited about it.
When I use True Car, I can find the car I want and see what other people paid for it.
Then, I can connect with a true car certified dealer.
So by the time I get to the lot, we have the same information and we’re on the same page.
It really is that easy.
This is how car buying was meant to be.
This is True Car.

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[mkell755]

Hi Katelyn! I really liked this read! Great pacing, enunciation and emphasis on the appropriate words. Your voice is very believable for this script. Great job!

Mary

[AndreaC]

I love your energy and enunciation! Very believable.

[katelyndawnvo]

Thanks Mary! 🙂 <3

[mkell755]

You are welcome Katelyn! Now go buy that car! 🙂

Mary

[katelyndawnvo]

Lol I wish… Mini Cooper… Maybe in 10 years!

[mkell755]

Hey, dreaming is free!!! 🙂

[mrchaseatherton@gmail.com]

Ad Script Practice. Let me know about performance notes. Thank you all so mcuh!

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[mkell755]

Hi Chase, I liked the read and pace of the script. Your voice is well-suited to this type of script. It sounded like the word “guide” was really stretched out to me; I think it could have been phrased “guide and protect” vs.”guiiiide”. I don’t know if that helps or makes sense; just being a little nitpicky with what sounded out of place to my ear after listening 4 times. Otherwise a good read!

Mary

[katelyndawnvo]

Hey there! Nice tone of voice for this kind of read, and your recording quality is great! I found the read a little one dimensional. Perhaps you are not connecting to the copy? You could think about who you are talking to, and why you are excited about this particular insurance company. Is it life insurance for yourself so your family will be taken care of? Try to think of who you are in this copy and who you are talking to! I think this will help you naturally vary your tone and your emotion will come out more. Keep working on it! 🙂

[brian3553]

These two uploads are for my next coaching session with Art. That said, any feedback is certainly welcome and appreciated!

Brian

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[mkell755]

Hi Brian! I liked both of these reads. Your voice has a nice warmth and huskiness to it. I loved learning about Seinfeld too in the first script!!! Very pleasant listen for this type of read. I liked the second read for Butterball too, but it sounded a little too light / soft for an add to make you want to buy a turkey for me. Just my opinion, your voice is very unique.

Mary

[SuperLuke]

Hi all, I have been renovating my home studio. Been getting used to my new tech as well. Anyway, I made a recording of me as Super Mario and a character featured in my demo. Let me know what you think. All feedback welcome!

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[RYoung]

Superluke, I like your enthusiasm and characters. You may want to extend the Mario character a little longer so we can hear more of it. Be sure to edit or fix your explosives lol before you submit, nice work and thanks for sharing!

[mkell755]

Hi Super Luke – fun reads! I really like the character voices. For the first script there was a crack / pop when Super Mario starts laughing, but the voice was great! For the second voice, the character was great as well, very interesting. In the last line, “…leave while you still have the chance” “still” sounded slurred to me, did not hear the “s” in that word. Otherwise very good!

Mary

[mrchaseatherton@gmail.com]

Ad Practice! Woop! Performance notes appreciated!

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[mkell755]

Hi Chase! Very good read. I had to listen twice to hear the word “Jeep”; it got quiet at the end and I think you would want to emphasize that word a little more. Otherwise very clear and good read!

Mary

[SuperLuke]

very good. I would use more of the emotional inflection you use when saying, “we don’t make these, you do”, throughout the ad. It will add more heart to your performance and could potentially help out your performance when making your demo.

[CleanCityLLc]

any one wants to shoot a voice over in a commercial restaurant in Miami florida ? I am In.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by CleanCityLLc.

[kfvoice]

Hi all! A documentary read for cats. Here I was practicing varying my tone and pitch. I did stretch out some words for emphasis, but did notice afterwards that the word “time” was a little too long, and I didn’t intend to read it that way. Any and all feedback is appreciated! Thanks!

Cats

They are hunters, with muscles taut, and eyes fixed on their intended prey. They are gentle, with fluid movement and a sensitive touch. They are regal, with a lineage that goes back to worshiped ancestors during the time of the Pharaohs. They are introspective, aloof, unpredictable, affectionate, comical and mischievous. They are cats.

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[mkell755]

Hi Kathy! Good read! I liked the pace and flow of the read, and the choice of which words were emphasized and stretched a little. I agree with the previous comment about enunciating the word “hunters” at the beginning, it sounded like “hunners”. Very good read and well-suited for your voice!

Mary

[kfvoice]

Thanks Mary! I can hear where you and Luke say it sounds like “hunners”. Interestingly, I did this read many times, and on this one I heard the “t” (or maybe it’s my teeth making that sound?) — I thought I had captured it enough. Where I am from, we are known for not pronouncing our “t’s, so I can understand on some words it’s not coming through — working (frustratingly) on it! Thanks again! – Kathy

[mkell755]

You are welcome Kathy! I tend to say “n” vs. “and” or “fer” vs. “for” for example, and I don’t realize it has happened unless or until I listen for it very specifically afterwords. I think we all have some unique things to improve in our voices, which makes it interesting at least! We will get there!

Mary

[SuperLuke]

very nice voice for a documentary on cats. I’m not sure what kind of feedback you want about the performance. But I would eliminate the humming sound from your recorder in the background. Also, you may want to say “hunters”, as opposed to “h*n’ners” in the beginning.

[kfvoice]

Thanks, SuperLuke! Any feedback was appreciated! Here I was practicing pitch and tone. I actually didn’t notice that noise in my playback before now. I’m still getting used to my mic (no pop filter at the moment) and recording software —- I may have adjusted something without realizing it! Noted!

[mkell755]

Good evening all! I’m looking for feedback on my read. I’m trying to work on keeping the diction clear without sounding weird – “and” instead of “n”. Any and all feedback would be great. Thanks!
Mary

Amtrak
So much beauty in one place! America is a great country, and we’ve got the best way to see it. Amtrak “Explore America” fares. Round trips from one hundred and seventy nine dollars all across America. It’s a great country at a great price. Call 1-800-USA-RAIL now about Amtrak “Explore America” fares.

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[kfvoice]

Hi Mary!

Your dictation was clear in your read, although try a little longer micro-pause after your first sentence. I listened a couple of times, and you sounded rushed leading into the second sentence compared to the others. I could tell there were certain words you were trying to vary your tone and pitch with — just a little more oomph and enthusiasm, and you’ve got it! I could hear a noise in the background — are you recording with a mic yet?

Kathy

[mkell755]

Hi Kathy! Thanks for your feedback. A pause after the first sentence makes sense. I had to do several re-takes before I got it to a point that I wanted to upload. At that point I probably was rushing a little more than I should have. More oomph, and enthusiasm, got it! I struggle with this as I want to sound authentic, and not too over the top; it sounds like it comes out differently than in my head! 🙂 No, I don’t have a mic yet; hope to be getting one soon. So far these have been recordings on my phone. Thanks again!

Mary

[kfvoice]

Hi Mary!

Totally understand wanting to sound authentic without the read sounding over the top. I literally have to remember to “smile” when reading; being a little more animated (talking with my hands!), or sometimes standing up for longer reads works better for me.

Kathy

[mkell755]

Thanks for the tips Kathy! Yes, I forget that standing and even moving my hands during a read can help me. Smiling too if the script is meant to be enthusiastic like this one. Thanks!

Mary

[swy619]

Hi Mary,
I think your reading was clear and understandable and also sounded smooth and natural. For this particular script, I might suggest putting some more emphasis on the first mention of “Amtrak,” but overall, nice read!
-Sarah

[mkell755]

Hi Sarah, thanks for the feedback! I’m glad that it sounded understandable and smooth. More emphasis on Amtrack, the product I’m trying to sell makes sense, I will work on hitting important words with more emphasis. Thanks again!

Mary

[Author]

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