Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello all! Looking for any and all feedback on this read, which comes from the Color Street website and a little wordsmithing on my end (nail strips!). This is recorded with a phone, so sound comments are also welcome but please know that I have not upgraded to a mic yet. Thank you!
Mary
Have you heard about Color Street yet? The colors are vibrant, the finishes glossy, and they easily adhere to the nail instantly. Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.
So, ask yourself – what is the accessory that makes every look complete? Nail fashion of course! Color Street nail polish strips are easy to wear and share, and fun to sell. Color Street – go to http://www.colorstreet.com to locate an independent stylist in your area.
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Hi Mary!
After listening, I felt like you sounded more relaxed, natural, during this part of your script:
Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.
In this section, your pitch also emphasized important words. There was a little slight pause between “stylists and”, but otherwise this section had a great delivery.
I hope this helps. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I was going for a more relaxed, authentic delivery, so it sounds like I’m improving in that area. I have recently started using Color Street and I really can’t say enough about how great they are. Per my coach, I’m looking for products I believe in for my upcoming commercial demo – so much more fun to talk about things you know! Thanks again!
Mary
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Hello good people! These are two narration scripts from the Edge Studio script library, just with different tones. Any feedback is welcome.
Thanks much!
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Hello jmtarleton!
I did not know you read the Telsa script until after I uploaded my read. Your tone and delivery, I felt, was spot on. Just be careful of lip-smacks at the end of some of your words. Overall, good job!
Kathy
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I thought I’d try a character this time. Here are two recordings of the same script, the first read in my natural voice, and the second using an affected voice. One thing I’m wondering is whether the character comes across well enough with my natural voice, or does the affected voice help the character? any other feedback is also welcome. Thanks!
-Sarah-
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Hi Sarah! I think your natural voice has plenty of interest and color / texture for this type of read; I prefer that one. It seemed to be very well paced and very interesting to listen to. The second read in the affected voice was really high in pitch, but it might be a good fit if it was a cartoon worm (the first one may also be a cartoon worm, and it would still be believable).
Mary
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Hello! I have trouble being too theatrical, energetic and expressive, so I tried to tone it down. I am going for a more “natural” quality, and would appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advance!
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Hi Andrea! I like your voice and your take on this script. There were some words that trailed off and got really quiet and very low at the end “…about the last one” for example. Overall very natural tone and good for your voice!
Mary
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Thanks so much, Mary! I am really working on the “natural” aspect. I agree- I can hear where I trailed off too early. Thanks so much for your feedback!
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You are welcome Andrea! I also have to work on sounding natural, with enough emphasis but not over the top – it’s a fine balance! If I happen to like or have some direct experience about the subject matter (in this case about making mistakes when buying a house – I have done that!) it has helped me. Good work and keep it up!
Mary
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Hi Andrea, I really love the tone and timbre of your voice. You sound like a very mature put-together adult. A mom and a professional. I would believe you if you were talking about medical things or insurance. I know you weren’t asking that but that’s what I think of when I hear your voice. The first part of this read felt like the energy/tone was just too low but once you say “Listen… I love real estate…” I think from that point on you are hitting a nice “natural, chill, but still interested” vibe. Nice work!
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Excellent work on this Andrea! Your voice is calm and reassuring as well! I can only find 2 words that seemed off, one is the word “you” in the first sentence and “run” in
“long run”. Otherwise I think it was pretty spot on and realistic. -
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I finished revising one of my demo reels with the help from the old feedback forum! Any comments are welcome, thanks!
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Not sure if I did this right but was trying to edit my latest script. The newer one is obviously the revised recording due to the first one missing ending of last recording.
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Hi RYoung! Your voice sounds really good for the selected commercials, very warm and clear tone that resonates and sounds very trustworthy. Great job!
Mary
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Some narration work with an excerpt from Mary Shelly’s “frankenstein” I realize I mispronounced “precipitous”.
“I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.” (16.19-20)
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Hi RYoung! Great read – good pace, flow and enunciation and it sounds very well-produced. I think you could get into character a little more; some of the thoughts seemed to be presented as if you were telling a light-hearted story, not rescuing someone from death. So that could mean a little more variation in tone to get your point across (I’m working on that myself). The sentence that starts with “This was then my reward…” could sound a little more angry than the first part – you are stunned by how much it hurts to try to save someone only to be shot as a reward for your good act, like what would that really feel like? “…playfully fled.” sounded more like “…playfully fled?” Overall really good read. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hi there,
Nice read. Sounds well-produced, and your voice is nice and clear, authoritative and precise. I do think the flow could be better. There were times where it sounded like you had reached the end of a thought, as in after “restore animation,” which of course is not the end of that sentence, and then after “playfully fled,” it sounded like there, you were not done with the thought, though it is in fact the end of the sentence. There’s also a spot later on where I think it would make more sense to pause more after the phrase “which he carried,” and not so much before it. I think that could help listeners to properly interpret the meaning of the sentence on first listen.
Hope this might be helpful and hope I’m making sense. Thanks for sharing this narration. Good work! -
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I’ve really been enjoying just writing some of my own scripts – helps the creative juices flow. Have a great day. Any feedback is appreciated!
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hi — first post since the site upgrade so we’ll see how this goes ….
three practice scripts for coaching session:- Whether you’re young or old, male or female, single or with a family — this video is for and about you. That’s because Social Security has programs that affect everybody. This presentation was prepared by the Social Security Administration and tells you what you need to know about Social Security while you’re still working and what you need to know when it’s your turn to collect benefits. It also provides an overview of Medicare and Supplemental Security income benefits.
- Here we have a very simple example of a database which has users, phone numbers and bank
accounts as entity types. In addition we have two types of relationships: phone calls from
one phone to another, and money transfers from one bank account to another. On the left is
a relational database schema for our simple dataset. We don’t show a separate user table
because we don’t have any facts about users other than their phone numbers and bank account
numbers. On the right is the graph database schema for the same use case. There are three
vertex types (the circles) and the four edge types (the lines). We omit the details about
what properties each vertex type or edge type has. - In the sixth century B.C. Pythagoras, a Greek mathematician, is thought to have made
accoustic experiments with a vibrating string called a monochord. Using two monochords,
Pythagoras performed an experiment in which the string of one monochord was successively
shortened by half (raising the pitch an octave) while the other was shortened by two thirds
(raising the pitch a fifth). After seven octaves and twelve fifths, Pythagoras discovered
that the B# from the second monochord was not exactly the same as the C produced by the first
monochord, but was slightly higher in pitch. This discrepancy is called the Pythagorean
comma.
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Hi, Listened to most of your 3 scripts and they sound very clinical if that’s what your looking to accomplish? Good clear enunciation, pacing and clarity, however that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re believable though. I would suggest a little more excitement about the subject matter, good work and thanks for sharing that.
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Hi,
Well, looks like the post came out just fine, and I really enjoyed listening to your reads. The second one especially seemed really natural and conversational, like you were just talking to me instead of reading. The first sounded very professional, which I would expect for something from the SSA, but your tone was also varied and interesting to listen to. I confess I had a bit of a hard time distinguishing the word “successively” in the third script; I almost thought I heard “accessibly,” so I think a little more clarity there would be good, and some more pitch variation in that third script could increase interest. Great work! Thanks for sharing.
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Just trying a promo type of read. Would welcome feedback regarding delivery as well as audio quality.
Free. Now when’s the last time ya’ heard that? A while…right? Well at American Tire Supply, when you buy one all-weather radial tire, you get another one free! Plus, get a free alignment! Hey, with a deal like this, how can you NOT afford to visit. So hurry on down to your local American Tire Supply, where you can still hear the word free. Subject to dealer participation.
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Hi Irvj! I really like your voice! Very warm and smooth and mellow. Good variation in tone and pitch. Great job!
Mary
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Hi there,
Yes, very nice delivery, and the audio quality sounded great! I might suggest emphasizing that first “free” a bit more. Volume was a little low in comparison to what followed. Also, maybe experiment with more emphasis on “not” in “not afford.” These are just little things of course. Really fantastic job! -
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Wow I love this!! Your voice is delicious. I don’t really have much to say that is constructive, I thought it was great. Perhaps you could try a delivery with a bit of a quicker pace to up the energy a little bit. Nice work! – Katelyn
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Hello everyone!
I struggled with this copy all evening and night. You name it, and I just couldn’t get it right — from my enunciation, which is frustrating me (“corset” to mention one), to pops and clicks; even my recording quality. However, I am uploading this practice read for your critique.
Thanks again!
Mae West
Mae West was the daughter of a boxer and a corset model, who became a vaudevillian at the age of fourteen. At thirty three, in 1926, she wrote, produced and directed a Broadway show called ‘S*x’, and landed in jail on obscenity charges. After wowing Broadway in ‘Diamond Lil’, she signed with Paramount in 1932 and moved to Hollywood. Her risqué 1930s comedies were ground-breaking, in terms of both s****l content and roles for women. Her films included ‘Night After Night’ and ‘She Done Him Wrong’, which was the film version of ‘Diamond Lil’, and broke all existing box-office records, credited with saving Paramount from having to sell out to its rival, MGM.-
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OK, so I struggle with clicks as well, and most of the time, it’s due to a lack of hydration. Munching on some green apple slices can help, too, the acid will help break up the stuff in your mouth that can cause some of the noise.
With pronunciation, the letter “a” should be short, as in “ah”, not “eh” like Canadians say. By doing that, it may help with the pronunciations of the following words (like corset). Same thing with “obscenity”, it should be a short “e”, like “ob-sen-ity”, rather than “ob-seen-ity”.
Something that helped me, as a suggestion from one of my coaches, James Andrews, was to cross out the words “to” and “for” and write in the numbers “2” and “4”. It helped me slow down a bit and give the words some more enunciation.
The sound quality itself sounded fine to me…just a touch of room noise, like a fan from a computer or something, but nothing a little light noise reduction in post couldn’t cure.
Just know: we all struggle. Knowing that you’re struggling, and knowing that you aren’t getting it right, is a sign that you have the skills and knowledge to do it. This is a good thing. Keep at it!
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Thanks Brian for the encouragement and tips!
Not that I don’t want to pronounce words correctly, but, I’m wondering if my close proximity to Quebec has anything to do with certain pronunciations and dialect. Hmm.
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