Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I am taking a practice script from the library here, trying to relax so much I just let my arms dangle down to give a more realistic read, then bring on the ending with more enthusiasm, any thoughts are appreciated!
Wintergreen Resort
If you’re in the dark about where to ski, let us shed some light on the subject. High in Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mountains, discover what’s been called the Mid-Atlantic’s finest overall ski experience. Wintergreen offers ten slopes, five lifts, and an extensive snow-making system. Not to mention luxurious accommodations, an indoor spa, and a nationally-recognized children’s program. For more information, call 1-800-ski-green. That’s 1-800-ski-green. Wintergreen and Virginia…the perfect combination!-
I think this was well done! I enjoyed it. This could be nitpicky, but it felt slightly too long of a pause after “five lifts.” It just felt a little off from the flow from the first two, if that makes sense. And I would play around with the second ski-green. Part of me feels saying it like the first would be fine, but can certainly see bringing the enthusiasm earlier.
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Hi RYoung! This was a great read for your warm and clear voice. I liked the pace and energy and the appropriate emphasis and enunciation on several key words such as “Wintergreen”. The music too sounded very good and uplifting for this script. There was a slight pause between “…snow-making system” and “not to mention” that might have been treated more like a comma to string together those 2 thoughts. I see that there is a period there and the list of items gets long as a result, but it makes more sense as a comma to me. Great job!
Mary
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Good Morning my fellow VO Crew. I’m back again with more demo homework and in need of your feedback. Tell me what you think.
Thank you in advance.
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Hi, I believe your takes are delivered well with good inflections. The Wrangler take was exceptional I felt. Critique wise only comment would be maybe either reduce gain while recording or back off the mic slightly, although I am no audio expert, so listen to a professional for more on that I would say, nice work!
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Hi All! Here is my homework read for a Tesla Camera App found in eLearning/Education under narration.
I am not sure if the tone is supposed to sound “robotic”, but that is how I kept reading it.
There might be some slight background noise from my laptop. I did record with a pop filter for the first time today on my mic.
Tesla Camera App
The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.
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Hi Kathy! This was a good read. The tone, pitch and flow of the script was good. Not sure that “robotic” is how Tesla would want it to sound, but that’s just my opinion. I tried to picture myself needing to listen to this app to learn how to use the camera, and my take would be that the tone should sound helpful and maybe just a little warmer than robotic. Great work!
Mary
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Thanks for the feedback, Mary!
I understand what you are saying in regards to the app, i.e. natural vs. robotic.
I think Siri and Alexa are stuck in my head —- and I don’t use them! lol
I’ll give it another go, and see how it comes out.
Thanks again!
Kathy
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Hello all! Looking for any and all feedback on this read, which comes from the Color Street website and a little wordsmithing on my end (nail strips!). This is recorded with a phone, so sound comments are also welcome but please know that I have not upgraded to a mic yet. Thank you!
Mary
Have you heard about Color Street yet? The colors are vibrant, the finishes glossy, and they easily adhere to the nail instantly. Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.
So, ask yourself – what is the accessory that makes every look complete? Nail fashion of course! Color Street nail polish strips are easy to wear and share, and fun to sell. Color Street – go to http://www.colorstreet.com to locate an independent stylist in your area.
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Hi Mary!
After listening, I felt like you sounded more relaxed, natural, during this part of your script:
Color Street offers a vast array of colors and nail art design, direct to Independent Stylists and ultimately to clients. These stunning nail polish strips keep their good looks up to 10 days, and they’re easy to remove with any nail polish remover.
In this section, your pitch also emphasized important words. There was a little slight pause between “stylists and”, but otherwise this section had a great delivery.
I hope this helps. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I was going for a more relaxed, authentic delivery, so it sounds like I’m improving in that area. I have recently started using Color Street and I really can’t say enough about how great they are. Per my coach, I’m looking for products I believe in for my upcoming commercial demo – so much more fun to talk about things you know! Thanks again!
Mary
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Hello good people! These are two narration scripts from the Edge Studio script library, just with different tones. Any feedback is welcome.
Thanks much!
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Hello jmtarleton!
I did not know you read the Telsa script until after I uploaded my read. Your tone and delivery, I felt, was spot on. Just be careful of lip-smacks at the end of some of your words. Overall, good job!
Kathy
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I thought I’d try a character this time. Here are two recordings of the same script, the first read in my natural voice, and the second using an affected voice. One thing I’m wondering is whether the character comes across well enough with my natural voice, or does the affected voice help the character? any other feedback is also welcome. Thanks!
-Sarah-
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Hi Sarah! I think your natural voice has plenty of interest and color / texture for this type of read; I prefer that one. It seemed to be very well paced and very interesting to listen to. The second read in the affected voice was really high in pitch, but it might be a good fit if it was a cartoon worm (the first one may also be a cartoon worm, and it would still be believable).
Mary
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Hello! I have trouble being too theatrical, energetic and expressive, so I tried to tone it down. I am going for a more “natural” quality, and would appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advance!
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Hi Andrea! I like your voice and your take on this script. There were some words that trailed off and got really quiet and very low at the end “…about the last one” for example. Overall very natural tone and good for your voice!
Mary
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Thanks so much, Mary! I am really working on the “natural” aspect. I agree- I can hear where I trailed off too early. Thanks so much for your feedback!
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You are welcome Andrea! I also have to work on sounding natural, with enough emphasis but not over the top – it’s a fine balance! If I happen to like or have some direct experience about the subject matter (in this case about making mistakes when buying a house – I have done that!) it has helped me. Good work and keep it up!
Mary
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Hi Andrea, I really love the tone and timbre of your voice. You sound like a very mature put-together adult. A mom and a professional. I would believe you if you were talking about medical things or insurance. I know you weren’t asking that but that’s what I think of when I hear your voice. The first part of this read felt like the energy/tone was just too low but once you say “Listen… I love real estate…” I think from that point on you are hitting a nice “natural, chill, but still interested” vibe. Nice work!
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Excellent work on this Andrea! Your voice is calm and reassuring as well! I can only find 2 words that seemed off, one is the word “you” in the first sentence and “run” in
“long run”. Otherwise I think it was pretty spot on and realistic. -
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I finished revising one of my demo reels with the help from the old feedback forum! Any comments are welcome, thanks!
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Not sure if I did this right but was trying to edit my latest script. The newer one is obviously the revised recording due to the first one missing ending of last recording.
Thanks!-
Hi RYoung! Your voice sounds really good for the selected commercials, very warm and clear tone that resonates and sounds very trustworthy. Great job!
Mary
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Some narration work with an excerpt from Mary Shelly’s “frankenstein” I realize I mispronounced “precipitous”.
“I was scarcely hid when a young girl came running towards the spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from someone in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped, and she fell into the rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding-place and with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her and dragged her to shore. She was senseless, and I endeavoured by every means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. I sank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense I now writhed under the miserable pain of a wound which shattered the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.” (16.19-20)
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Hi RYoung! Great read – good pace, flow and enunciation and it sounds very well-produced. I think you could get into character a little more; some of the thoughts seemed to be presented as if you were telling a light-hearted story, not rescuing someone from death. So that could mean a little more variation in tone to get your point across (I’m working on that myself). The sentence that starts with “This was then my reward…” could sound a little more angry than the first part – you are stunned by how much it hurts to try to save someone only to be shot as a reward for your good act, like what would that really feel like? “…playfully fled.” sounded more like “…playfully fled?” Overall really good read. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hi there,
Nice read. Sounds well-produced, and your voice is nice and clear, authoritative and precise. I do think the flow could be better. There were times where it sounded like you had reached the end of a thought, as in after “restore animation,” which of course is not the end of that sentence, and then after “playfully fled,” it sounded like there, you were not done with the thought, though it is in fact the end of the sentence. There’s also a spot later on where I think it would make more sense to pause more after the phrase “which he carried,” and not so much before it. I think that could help listeners to properly interpret the meaning of the sentence on first listen.
Hope this might be helpful and hope I’m making sense. Thanks for sharing this narration. Good work! -
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I’ve really been enjoying just writing some of my own scripts – helps the creative juices flow. Have a great day. Any feedback is appreciated!
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