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  • #15468
    Edge Studio
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Edge Studio.
    • This topic was modified 11 months, 4 weeks ago by Andrew Warner.
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  • #71570
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi all! Here is a script for review – the first one is without music, the second is with you guessed it, piano music (same spoken recording for both). Let me know what you think!

    Mary

    This is a guide for piano beginners. Ten chapters guide you all the way from zero knowledge to the point where you are sitting with your hands at the keyboard with all the understanding and resources you need. This guide cannot replace learning and practicing, but we can show you how to get the most out of your time. So even if you already have some playing experience, you can still find something valuable here.

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  • #71563
    dvnblnt
    Participant

    Hi everyone! I’m new to the Edge Studio VO demo program and excited to see what yall have to say about these readings 🙂

    Starbucks: We’ve been told that perfect mornings exist for the lucky few. That morning people own the waking hours. But the truth is mornings belong to all of us. and while your morning might look like this. Or this. Or even this. Your mornings are what you make them. All it takes is saying Yes. Starbucks. Morning. Yes.

    Allstate: Welcome to Allstate. A place where everyone lives life well protected. And even when things go a bit wrong, we got your back. Here things work the way you wish they would and better protection costs a whole lot less. You’re in good hands with Allstate.

    Happy weekend,
    Devon

    Misfits Market: Hi. We’re Misfits Market. We rescue organic produce and surplus pantry staples from sustainably minded farmers and food makers and deliver them straight to your door at up to 40% off grocery store prices. Just build your box online, we’ll pack it with the best stuff: quality, affordable groceries ..for everyone! (Just the way it should be.) Get started at misfitsmarket.com.

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    • #71573
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Devon, good work!
      Misfits: There seemed to be a lot of unnecessary pauses in this one in the first sentence, which made it a little choppy sounding and less conversational. The last “misfitsmarket.com” seemed to get low and trailed off, to emphasize the brand in a more positive light, I would bring up the tone more. Also “for everyone!” sounded like “fer”. I do this too and it is a hard habit to break as part of my natural accent. Per my coach, I will write in “4” instead of “for” to tell my brain to not to skip over it with a “fer”.
      Allstate: This was nice, but you might try it with more smile in your voice, which will sound warmer and more reassuring to the listener.
      Starbucks: Nice smile in your voice. I liked the variation of tone your use in the list “and while your morning might look like this. Or this. Or even this.” I liked this one the best for you. Keep it up!

      Mary

  • #71556
    SteveVoice2
    Participant

    Hello Everyone:

    Thanks for taking the time to listen to my latest homework assignments. Really appreciate any feedback as I am always looking to improve!
    Cosmos
    Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows. A world positively rippling with life.
    From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.

    AEC Foundation

    Every child deserves to grow up with opportunities to learn and thrive. With his skills, her talents, each is a potential leader, a contributor, a productive citizen. How kids grow up will determine their success as adults. But sadly, more than one in five children in America are growing up in poor families and poor neighborhoods, where the chance to thrive is anything but a given. The Annie E. Casey Foundation is dedicated to changing that.

    The Time Capsule

    A computer, a new wonder drug, your favorite snack or light bulb. What would you put in a time capsule that could be opened in 1000 years?
    How will you want to be remembered? Look around-is it your wedding pictures, your favorite book, or those old jeans? Which treasures will tell the story of how we lived, who we loved, what we overcame? A world premiere event “The Times Capsule” Tonight at 9 Eastern 10 Pacific on The History Channel.

    Once again, thanks very much

    Steve

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    • #71574
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Steve! Very nice! I like your deep warm and clear voice – it cuts through nicely!
      Cosmos: This was my favorite for you, your voice is very well suited for space narration. Great pacing, pauses and emphasized words throughout. After “…rippling with life.” it seems like you could take just a micro-pause longer, like you are setting the stage for the rest of the story. The word “cost” had a slight accent, sounded like “cawst” (Boston area maybe?) that I did not hear for the rest of the script, just an observation from me, a mid-westerner.
      AEC: This was clear and had good pacing, but you did not sound as connected / interested in the script.
      Time Capsule: I liked this one, but it felt a tiny bit rushed. You could perhaps pause a tiny bit more after some of the questions, which will allow listeners to take a beat and think about the questions, not a big deal. Really nice work!!

      Mary

  • #71349
    jwreickel
    Participant

    Good afternoon everyone!

    Doing some more homework and have a few more scripts! I’d appreciate any feedback everyone has, thanks!

    Jimmy

    ——————————–

    Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate

    Company Website Greeting

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  • #71534
    jwreickel
    Participant

    Good afternoon everyone!

    I’m completing my homework for this past session and have attached some scripts.

    Thanks for any feedback you can provide!

    Sincerely,

    Jimmy

    —————————–

    Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate

    Company Website Greeting

    Social Security

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    • #71560
      dvnblnt
      Participant

      Hi Jimmy! You really have a very trustworthy voice 🙂

      I enjoyed this one the most. I’d recommend picturing who you’re talking to throughout the reading to really emphasize how you make this feel like a conversation or a narration of the viewer’s own thought. However, casual and conversational really suits you!

      The Company Website Greeting sounds a bit like you’re chuckling at Bob at the beginning and I enjoyed that quite a bit. The pace on this one could be sped up a bit but you had me picturing a commercial with this one.

      On your reading of the Social Security script – your annunciation is perfect and I really appreciate the time you take to pause. I’d recommend catching the down pitch at the end of some sentences and speeding up the reading a bit.

      Hope you find this helpful!

  • #71505
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Jack Daniels

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  • #71483
    Hartblam
    Participant

    Hello!

    I am uploading 2 of my recent sample scripts I read after my first coaching session. I am working towards a narration demo. Thank you for any feedback you may have.
    Scripts are below for reference.

    Advance Technologies
    Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.

    American Express
    Thank you for holding. Did you know that you can now receive your American Express statement completely online. No more paper bills! We’ll even send you an email reminder when your statement is ready for viewing. To see if you can take advantage of this free service; log on to americanexpress.com/paperless. Or ask your representative.

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    • #71538
      jwreickel
      Participant

      Hello!

      I like your professional tone and I think you are reading these very articulately. I do think the Advance Technologies script is a little fast, and you may want to emphasize the name of the company (I know it’s fake but trying to highlight the company itself a little for a read like this is likely going to be appreciated for real applications).

      I really liked the second read, specially the first few sentences. It seems a little sped up near the end but I thought this one was really good.

      Sincerely,

      Jimmy

  • #71468
    CHRISTOPHER WHITING
    Participant

    Hello gang, three more homework pieces for your listening pleasure (?). I’m open to, and appreciate, any and all feedback. Thanks! Chris.

      American Tire Supply (casual, conversational, let go of your diction a little, animated, BE YOURSELF)

    Free. Now when’s the last time ya’ heard that? A while…right? Well at American Tire Supply, when you buy one all-weather radial tire, you get another one free! Plus, get a free alignment! Hey, with a deal like this, how can you NOT afford to visit.?

      Tesla Camera App

    The touchscreen is your control panel for accessing functions, features and apps in your Tesla. The camera allows you to display what the high-definition rear view camera sees at any time when in Reverse. Guidelines appear and move with the steering wheel to show your trajectory. Always be sure to check your surroundings and to use your mirrors. The camera is an aid and should not be relied upon for rear view. If you are in need of additional assistance, you can reach Tesla support at eight-four-four two-four-eight-three-seven-five-two.

      Phytophotodermatitis (Medical Narration)

    Phytophotodermatitis is a nonimmunologic phototoxic cutaneous eruption resulting from contact with photosensitizing substances found in plants; furocoumarins (present in limes and other plants) are typically implicated and get activated following exposure to sunlight, especially 320-400 nanometer UVA rays.

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    • #71486
      Hartblam
      Participant

      Hi Chris,

      These sound incredible. I would agree that you should hit Free, especially when you say “you get another one free!”.
      I definitely enjoyed the Tesla narration. The voice was warm and clear. There were moments in it that felt slightly robotic and I think a shift in inflection could bring it back to the warmth that your voice is giving.
      SUPER impressed with how confidently and clearly you pronounced each medical term.

      • #71489
        CHRISTOPHER WHITING
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback. I will definitely work on emphasizing important words, eg., FREE. And thanks for calling out the pronunciation of the medical terms, I’d like to focus on that type of VO.

    • #71481
      Don Sack
      Participant

      Hey Chris!
      I think these are very good! Hmmm.. “FREE”? Emphasize free; not overboard but emphasize the tire is…..FREE, the alignment is….FREE.
      I thought you “instructional” voice was excellent; watch the popping sounds but that comes as you get your studio squared away: Pop Filter, mic distance.
      Rock On!

      • #71490
        CHRISTOPHER WHITING
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback. I’m working on correct emphasis, so that bit is particularly helpful for me. Much appreciated!

  • #71450
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hi all! I’m looking for feedback to this narration script for my upcoming narration demo. Let me know what you think, thank you!

    Mary

    Born in 1847, at the very end of the industrial revolution, Thomas Edison was part of a new wave of scientists and inventors that lit the way into the modern era. His famed research lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey hosted the development of innovations that still undergird much of our industrial and consumer infrastructure, including the phonograph (which recorded and played sound), motion pictures and the light bulb. His work there was so important that the town in which Menlo Park was located now bears his name.

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    • #71491
      Shaun Cruz
      Participant

      Sounds Great! Perfect middle ground volume, and perfect pronunciation.

      • #71514
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Shaun! I’m glad to hear that, thanks!

        Mary

    • #71465
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      Sounds great! Everything was pronounced clearly, and you had a good amount of variation in your emphasis and a nice volume (not too quiet, and not too loud). The tempo does seem a little slow sometimes, so you might want to speak just that little more quickly (unless your monologue goes with images and video, possibly) Good work!

      • #71466
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Logan! I will work on getting appropriate speed, I’ve been working on pronouncing things clearly but if it sounds unnaturally slow then I need to work to improve it. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #71441
    CHRISTOPHER WHITING
    Participant

    Hi gang, another round of narration homework. Would love to hear your feedback. Thanks in advance!

      Company Website Greeting

    Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car.A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads.Today, that simply isn’t enough.
    According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.

      Amelia Earhart

    Amelia Earhart dared to go where no one had gone before. The public adored the pioneering pilot. And news reels of the day captured her every move. Yet the private side of Amelia would always remain an enigma.

      Documentary on Jazz

    It is America’s music. It is an improvised Art, making itself up as it goes along. It rewards individual expression. But demands selfless collaboration. It is forever changing. But nearly always rooted in the blues. It has a rich tradition and its own rules. But it is brand new every night.

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    • #71562
      dvnblnt
      Participant

      Hi Christophe! Your voice reminds me of that classic radio timbre. These were great 🙂
      For Amelia Earhart this is great overall! A nice added touch could be a shift in the tone/feel a the last sentence to match the idea that there was more to Amelia than meets the eye.
      Jazz: I like the great variation in pitch that you use! Adding a bit of change in volume could add a bit more variety in how you emphasize the different aspects of music. For example, maybe softer for “selfless” or with less vocal fry for “rich”.
      Company website: I really enjoyed this one and felt a bit like I know Bob. And that led to me trusting your quick shift into the hard facts. Great work!
      ~Devon

    • #71452
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Christophe, good job!
      Company website: Sounded nice and clear, very good pacing and very genre-appropriate for your voice. This was my favorite for you of the 3, fell the most authentic.
      Jazz: I liked the variation in tone throughout the script, but the pace felt a little bit rushed to me. It seems like this script has several periods throughout to make the performer slow down and savor the sentences for the listener. If music was playing behind it, just think of all the different jazz riffs that would be playing; I think it could use a little more deliberate pace.
      Amelia: Very nice tone, pace and clarity. I wanted to hear more about her story. Overall very good!

      Mary

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