Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi All – Two more practice reads from the Edge library for my Commercial journey. There’s some background noise from a landscaper working in the neighborhood I can’t eliminate – I mean the noise, not the landscaper. I’m primarily working today on a conversational tone but all feedback about any aspect of these two reads is welcomed.
Thanks, Chas
Apple Ipod
Presenting iPod. The first MP3 player to pack a mind-blowing 1,000 songs and a 10-hour battery into a stunning 6.5-ounce package you can literally take everywhere. But iPod isn’t just a revolution in portability, it’s also a revolution in simplicity. Just plug into your Mac and all of your iTunes songs and playlists are automatically downloaded into iPod at blazing FireWire speed. With iPod, it’s that easy to take your entire music collection with you wherever you go, in the pocket of your choice. Get your iPod at The Wiz, Circuit City, or Best BuyHarvey Home Theatre
He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you. -
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Good morning everyone. I’m trying to apply what I learned in speaking with a pro and all that I have been learning for narration. It is a LOT to think about while still trying to sound natural 🙂 I’m naturally a very enthusiastic and friendly reader, so I’m not sure how this fits with a “documentary read”. I know this might not be something I actually book in the real world. Any feedback is appreciated. Take care!
Katelyn
“For more than three decades, mankind has explored the mysteries of the universe from
a vantage point in space. Now we‘re turning space into a practical place to work. By the year 2020, NASA‘s space station is scheduled to give science a permanent platform in orbit. A place where researchers can examine our world from a unique perspective, and experiment under conditions of extreme temperature and weightlessness. In zero gravity, compounds can react in ways not possible here on Earth. Scientists can create better med- icines, more durable plastics, and stronger alloys made of metals that resist mixing under gravity‘s pull.”-
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Hey! I thought your read sounded very good! Oh man I know what you mean in terms of keeping everything you learn in mind. It’s definitely a lot. Some things I did notice was there were a couple breaths that weren’t edited out. One was between sentence one and two, before the word: “Now.” The other I heard was in the fourth sentence after the word “perspective.” I think you could also add more energy into your read to make it sound even better. Like Robert said, the flow needs to be a bit smoother. Maybe cutting some of the space between your sentences could help with that. Overall I think you’re well on your way to being great! And who knows? Maybe you will be booked for a job like this down the line.
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Hey! Thanks for the feedback you guys. Listening back I hear the choppiness and I think it is that I did not cut out the breaks between sentences enough (this is where I stop and breathe haha!) Although, my coach mentioned that it is really more of a big deal to edit breaths out in commercial reads vs narration as narration is supposed to sound more natural and people do breathe. Although if the breath is insanely distracting it should be brought down in volume. Just thought I’d mention that as well. Thanks you guys!
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Hello all! I’m looking for feedback on a few Edge library scripts. I took the Science of Speaking like a Pro webinar last week – WOW – great stuff – and I’m trying to incorporate what I learned. Thank you in advance for taking the time to listen and comment on both my delivery and sound quality – so much talent on here!
History of LSD
In 1938, a Swiss chemist named Albert Hofmann synthesized LSD for the first time while studying ergots, a type of fungus. Though the pharmaceutical company that he worked for, Sandoz, didn’t have any interest in the compound, Hofmann found himself inexplicably drawn to it. Five years later, in the spring of 1943, he synthesized it again, noticing that it seemed to have unusual properties: After accidentally absorbing small amounts through his fingertips one day in the lab, Hofmann had to leave work early, under the effects of what he called “a not unpleasant intoxicated-like condition.” A few days later, he experimented with taking what he thought was a small dose of LSD, about 250 micrograms (a common dose now is more on the order of 100 micrograms), and proceeded to trip out of his mind, an experience he describes in his book LSD: My Problem ChildNero – Intro
He was a perverse cross-dressing exhibitionist who had an incestuous relationship with his mother and married his step sister. He murdered members of his own family in fits of jealous rage. His cruelty, violence, and grotesque appetite for self-indulgence brought the Roman empire to the brink of financial and political ruin. And he viscously persecuted the Christians. They would remember him as the ultimate embodiment of evil … the anti-Christ.-
Hi Amanda! Really good reads for both! You are super-clear in your delivery and you enunciate very well throughout both scripts. The LSD read had great variation in pitch and sounded very conversational. The read on Nero really painted a picture for me and set the tone and an image of who he was – very good for both! I wish I could have made that webinar now! I’m hearing so many great things about it. Great job here!
Mary
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Hey great read! I took a listen of the LSD copy. I thought it was well paced and sounded very clear. Your inflections also made the read really interesting and engaging. Maybe some things to look at: I think the beginning of the second sentence of the script you read a little fast. About midway through the copy I sounded like you said “in a lab” instead of “in the lab.” And lastly on the line: “trip out of his mind,” I think you were trying to emphasis every word. It sounds a bit choppy but I love the energy and care you put into it. You’re doing a fantastic job! Keep pushing forward!
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Hi there! I like your passion and zest for this copy. I can feel your emotion and how you want the viewer to feel. I listened to the Nero read. And yes – what a great class the science of speaking like a pro was! I think you really sped through the read and it would be great to hear a version where you slow down and take your time. Allow us to absorb each statement you are making. My coach was saying with narration you need to see what the viewer is seeing while you are speaking as they will be watching something on screen. So I think pace it out a little slower and breathe, but your emotion and passion is awesome!! Keep up the great work! 🙂
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Hello all! I’m posting my daily recording here (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you!
Mary
Hallmark Fresh Ink
You probably don’t want to hear this commercial. Heck, we’re not living in a fantasy land. As soon as that music stops and the commercials start, you turn the dial faster than the bathroom door k**b after three cups of coffee. That’s just the way it is. And we know it. But it’s that same uncanny ability to grasp reality that helped us develop our new line of greeting cards. Fresh Ink from Hallmark. Hallmark Fresh Ink is as real, funny and quirky as life itself. So, pick up a few Hallmark Fresh Ink cards for friends at your nearest Dominick’s, and say something real. That is, if you haven’t already changed the station.-
Hi Mary! I like your wry tone in this read. Maybe the humor could be beefed up a bit more by varying your pitch, really leaning into that last line especially. Nice work!
Brianne
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Hi Mary!
Your read was clear; the pacing was good, and nice job on varying your pitch. I noticed you did the opposite of what I did with my read the other night with “But”, however, there is no comma here. I think it sounds better with it, personally. Not sure if it was intentional, but I liked the little “sound effect” when you stopped your recording. It made me chuckle. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi Kathy – thanks for your feedback! You are totally right too in that I just added a comma-sounding pause when I probably should have moved on past it, not even sure why I did that, so thanks for noticing! Unfortunately the little sound effect at the end of the recording was unintentional, in fact I almost pointed out that I did not mean to do it, but now that you mention it it sounds funny for this particular script. Thanks again for your feedback!
Mary
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Hi all,
I’m looking for feedback on my performance. This was listed as an educational game for kids about space. Thanks! –Alexis
Script:
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!
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Hi Alexis! I liked this read for you – very nice and warm, and I could hear the smile in your voice! It was friendly and sounded good for a kids game. In the first sentence it sounded almost like a period after the word “system”, but there is not a period or a comma there. The sentence feels long but maybe it could flow a little more smoothly? That’s a very minor thing overall. Good enthusiasm and variation in tone. Good job!
Mary
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Thanks, Mary. I know what you mean there. I am working on not going to slow and not creating choppy pauses. Thanks for your feedback! –Alexis
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Hello good people! I am uploading a few narration reads from the Edge Script Library for this week. Many thanks for nay notes or feedback.
All the best,
John
PEI Destinations
As a visitor to PEI, you can do more than just witness the Island way of life. You can live it, too. Real experiences. Simple pleasures. Being active and relaxed at the same time. Any island is its own unique world. Stories, music, recipes, and skills are preserved and passed down for generations. But here you’re welcome to take part, and take home some of our traditions. Islanders are eager to help. In an ever-growing series of activities, you can work side-by-side with chefs, artisans, fishermen, farmers, musicians, and a host of people who defy categorizing, but who love what they do and want to share it with you. So if you’re looking for a holiday with some real life behind it, you’ll find it here. Yes, you might get your hands d***y. You might also get your shoes wet. And your knees stained. All temporary. But the memory of your Island experiences will last a lifetime.American Gothic
In 1930, an Iowa artist named Grant Wood asked his sister and his dentist to pose for a painting; a tribute to the tough rural stock of America.
He dressed his sister in a simple frock: a white collar held close around her neck by a broach. The dentist he outfitted in overalls, a band collar shirt buttoned tight around the throat and a dark business jacket.-
Hi John!
I agree with the other comments. In your first script, at the end, with “Yes, you might get your hands d***y. You might also get your shoes wet. And your knees stained. All temporary.“, try varying your inflections here, as well. I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hello! Posting two practice commercials by our 10 year old. The first one is a bit longer than her usual practice scripts. The second one is a swing at engaging and enticing the listener to stick around and watch.
Open to any and all feedback. Thank you!
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Hershey Park Christmas Candyland
Hershey Park Christmas Candylane is bigger and brighter than ever! New this year experience twice as many lights and holiday riders on Superdooperlooper, Wildcat, Cocoa Cruiser and Laff Track.
As always, enjoy your favorite traditions including a visit to Santa and his nine live reindeer, a dazzling choreographed light show, ice skating, festive entertainment, and delicious holiday treats.
Later, don’t forget to drive over to Hershey Sweet Lights for two miles of festive displays from the comfort of your car. Start planning your family’s visit today and discover your Hershey Park happy.
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Discovery Kids
What’s as strong as an elephant? Stinks like a skunk? And can see in the dark? Find out next on Discovery Kids!
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Hi Christine! Both reads were really good! On the first read there was a pause between visit and today “Start planning your family’s visit today and discover…”, this would make more sense if strung together as one thought with the pause after “today” to make it flow a little smoother. Very good reading, pace and clarity throughout! I’m impressed!
Mary
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Hello all!
Uploading this script I wrote for audio and delivery feedback. It sounds flat, so any suggestions will be appreciated.
Kathy
Edgar Allen Poe
Edgar Allen Poe was one of the first great American-born authors, a master of macabre and mystery whose name alone evokes an eerie chill.
Tragically but fittingly, Poe’s death has also long been cloaked in mystery, with each legend and rumor of how he passed more ghastly than the next.
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Hi Kathy! I like this read. I could not quite make out the “of” before macabre, even after listening a few times. I think there may have been a word omitted (also) in the last sentence. Not a big deal for a practice read, but just something to consider. Your voice is very clear and calm and well-suited for this genre. Good job!
Mary
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Thank you for sharing. The quality of the recording is great. I wonder if it sounds flat because the sentences don’t seem connected to each other? Your voice is terrific, and I wonder if just a bit more flow would make it more dynamic? Good luck!
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Hello all! Uploading my recording here (recorded on my phone) for any all feedback. Thank you!!
Guild Guitars
When you’ve played a guitar for years, every scratch, ding, and worn-down fret means something. The places you’ve been, the songs you’ve sung, the people you’ve shared your music with. That’s what a Guild is all about. Made to be played. Guild Guitars.-
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Hi! Great recording. Your voice and pace was terrific. I think the thing to take a look at is your sound quality. It sounds a little echo-y? Good luck!
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