Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi, Just looking for feedback on this script from the library. Thanks! Alexis
Script:
Welcome to Hershey, the Great American Chocolate Town, where families come together for a taste of the sweet life. Tucked in the rolling hills of Central Pennsylvania, this idyllic escape offers the latest and greatest in entertainment and hospitality, fused with the traditions of one of America’s original success stories.-
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Hi Alexis!
Nice read! The script works well with your voice, with a nice warm delivery. The pacing and tone were good, with clear enunciation, and varied pitch. I think “Great American Chocolate Town” could have a bit more emphasis to it, but that is just a minor thought.
Kathy
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Hi Alexis! This sounds really nice and smooth. The pacing was great and the emphasis on several words throughout was great. Great clarity in your voice too – very good!
Mary
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Hi Alexis,
Nice read. Your voice is calm and soothing. I liked the up-lilt on “traditions”.
And thank you for your feedback, also!
Holly -
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Hi all !—- I was browsing the Commercial library and came across this movie script. Not exactly a Commercial but it resonated with me because I think my voice is a good match for the tone of this script. Interested in all feedback and especially pacing, emphasis of the key words and pitch (could have gone a little lower). Thanks
MOVIE SCRIPT – Lord of the Rings – Opening Monologue
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
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Hi Chas – good read! I like the deep, calm tone of your voice and agree that it is a good fit for this script. The pacing and flow was good. Starting with “But they were all deceived…” the script becomes much darker / more serious (I’m agreeing with Alexis here too), I would think you should try a more somber / warning tone from that point of the script to the end – you are setting the stage that explains the struggle between good and evil that is the basis of the story. I think it could sound a lot more theatrical to get the point across. Good read!
Mary
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Hi Chas, I think you did a great job with this script, and I agree with you that your voice is a good match for it.I think your pace was fine, but I think it’s ok to go a little more serious with the tone. I felt at times that you were a little bit upbeat when reading and it seemed out of place. Think about the seriousness of the script – this one ring basically ruined the world – and try to convey that in your read. Keep it up!
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Hi everyone,
Seeking room noise and read feedback.Script is from Edge Library.
Thank you in advance!Job Additional Information
Though the tone should be professional, we’re looking for someone who can bring a conversational tone to the script. This presentation will be educational but it should feel like someone explaining how their department works while relaxing with some coworkers around the water cooler.Sample Script
Every year as the temperature rises and summer reaches its peak, Hobby Lobby stores begin stocking up on almost 12 million cubic feet of product that makes up the magic of our Christmas décor. Customers pour into our stores year after year to celebrate this special time of year with us. As soon as the products begin to arrive, our social media lights up with our faithful customers who can’t wait to see the season start.-
Hi Holly!
I agree with my fellow VO crew as far as feedback with your read. I did catch a micro-pause in the first sentence (between “product that”.)
As for your audio quality, with room noise, I did not hear anything on my end.
Good read!
Kathy
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Hey all! Any feedback on general audio quality on this one? I’ll take read feedback too, if I may be greedy 🙂
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I have tried to post this twice, and both times after editing, they disappeared.
I wrote a narration script for a documentary on L.L. Bean. (If the script doesn’t appear right, it’s the forum.)
I have been having trouble connecting to scripts. I try to bring enthusiasm to my reads, and it sounds campy, or a little too over the top. I try to sound natural, and more conversational, and it sounds like I am reading the script. I know smiling, as well as visualizing your audience, are often mentioned. I’m trying. As someone who is a bit of an introvert, and doesn’t socialize too much, I am also here to get out of my shell, too.
Any feedback is appreciated.
Kathy
L.L. Bean
The story of L.L. Bean is ever evolving. But, the outdoors has always been at the heart of it.
After returning from a hunting trip in 1911 with cold, damp feet, Leon Leonwood Bean has a revolutionary idea – and changed footwear forever.
In the next two hours, explore over 100 years of L.L .Bean history.
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Hi Kathy! I like this read for you! I also like the over the top cheerleader tip first read, I’m going to use that too Burdahgirl! I agree too with the gestures as you are reading with your hands – I have to now take off my watch, which makes noise on the recording because it is a little loose and rattles. It somehow signals to your brain that what you are saying is more exciting, or somehow more real to you, hard to explain but it helps me. I think it did sound natural and conversational, so I would not worry about being an introvert.
The only critique I would say for this piece is that I did not hear any pause after “But, the outdoors…” I think the emphasis makes more sense if on the word “outdoors” vs. “always” because it goes on to say that LL Bean got his great idea while outside in the following sentence. Great job!
Mary
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Hey Kathy! I think it’s a great read – you are very clear and read at a nice pace which is a continuing struggle for me! I feel that way too about feeling like I’m reading a script. I have found that going way over the top once (where nobody can hear me) can help break me out of my shell. Like reading it in full cheerleader mode. And then backing off from there to find a normal sound. Also, using gestures has been a game changer for me. It helps the smile actually reach my voice. I hope that’s helpful!! <3
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Hi everyone! I am uploading this recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you!
Mary
Duluth Canvas Travel Zip Top Sling Bag
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good evening. I have just started my narration training so I’m thinking about doing a read for Banff National Park. I’m trying to visualize what I see while I’m seeing it and I’m also tackling a MAJOR challenge with this crazy CRAZY long longgggg list haha! come at me with any feedback.
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Katelyn
Very nice read. Good tempo and variation in pitch. And you’re right – the list of park features was crazy long and you did a good job with your tone and inflections making each one different. I was seeing each different feature in my mind’s eye.I suggest for future posts you add the script so we can follow along.
Good luck with the training.
Chas
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Hi Katelyn! This sounds good. It felt like the size of the park could have been read a little faster (6,641 square kilometers). I know it is a number, but it gets stretched out a little longer than needed to me. The park is big but you also would want to emphasize not only the size of the park but moreso the list of qualities about the park. The list of items sounded fine to me. It’s hard to vary the tone for each one when you have so many items (7?), but I think you did a good job with that. Good work!
Mary
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I just started training for my Commercial demo and my homework is to post 1-2 reads daily in addition to what I do offline on my own. Here’s the first. I’m also beginning to create my recording environment and I know the quality of this take can be much better.
Boys & Girls Club
Put this card in the hands of a child and there’ll be no room for a gun. A needle. Or a knife. It’s only a piece of paper, but that little membership card has helped keep millions of kids off drugs, out of gangs and in school. To learn how you can help the Boys & Girls Clubs, call 1-800-854-Club. Boys & Girls Clubs of America. The POSITIVE Place For Kids.
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Lovely beautiful voice! I am excited to see what you will do. Congrats on starting your commercial demo!! Here is what stood out to me besides the beautiful timbre of your voice and how charming of a vibe you have – I think you hit the word “this” in “put THIS card” but I think you might want to emphasize the word “hands” and “child”. And I think you could create a bit more gravity in your tone for the first half. It feels very upbeat but the subject matter could do well to have more of an emotional gravity to it. I think from “to learn how…” I think you really handle it well! nice work.
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Continued practice! Working with different copy and honing my performance skills, so any performance related comments would be great- although any comments are appreciated! I’m also working on decreasing the time needed to get a recording I am happy with, so part of this was an experiment to give myself fewer takes to get it right to hone my auditioning skills.
HersheyPark Christmas Candylane
HersheyPark Christmas Candylane is bigger and brighter than ever! New this year experience twice as many lights and holiday riders on Superdooperlooper, Wildcat, Cocoa Cruiser and Laff Track. As always, enjoy your favorite traditions including a visit to Santa and his nine live reindeer, a dazzling choreographed light show, ice skating, festive entertainment, and delicious holiday treats. Later, don’t forget to drive over to Hershey SweetLights for two miles of festive displays from the comfort of your car. Start planning your family’s visit today and discover your Hersheypark happy.
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Hi CYeschenko! I too have to practice many times to get a recording that feels good enough to post, glad to hear I’m not the only one!
I liked the read – good pace, clarity and flow of the script, and I think your voice is well-suited for this commercial. I noticed that “…holiday treats” sounded like it ended with an question mark instead of a period, as well as the last word “happy”, but those are very minor points. Overall very well done!
Mary
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I concur on multiple takes, sometimes I do 4 or 5, probably better to just read over the script multiple time to become familiar. That said I’ve enjoyed your reads for a while and think you have improved tremendously! Only two minor things inflection wise are Holiday treats ended with a question instead of statement and Hershey Park the last word happy fell off a bit, good work, enjoyed the descriptive tone on the holiday rides!
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Hi all! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone) that I’m posting here for any and all feedback. I was having trouble uploading files all week and now I miss it! 🙂 So here it is. Thanks!
Mary
Aetna/US Healthcare
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