Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
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CreatorTopic
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December 8, 2020 at 11:21 am #59251
damian5145
ParticipantLooking for performance feedback, thanks!
Script: “This lesson dedicated to snare drum rudiments introduces the Flams: Flam Accent, Flam Paradiddle, Flamacue and Flam Tap.
The Flam, in musical theory and writing, doesn’t have a definite value; it can be described as a double stroke made by a first-hand weak stroke closely followed by an accented, stronger second-hand stroke. It’s a grace note, represented in drum charts by a smaller note with a tie put just before the principal note. For a correct execution of a Flam, the stick that plays the weaker stroke starts from about one inch from the drumhead, and the stick that plays the principal stroke starts from a superior height.”Attachments:
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December 9, 2020 at 1:08 am #59312
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Damian, good job on the read! Do you play? Nice enthusiastic tone throughout. Something to be mindful of: micro-pauses that like to sneak in when we are reading, that are not intended to be there. — Kathy
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December 8, 2020 at 11:45 pm #59302
mkell755
ParticipantHi Damian! I really like your voice for this genre! Good flow and clarity of the read with plenty of emphasis on key words to keep the listener’s attention. Very good!
Mary
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December 8, 2020 at 8:15 pm #59279
RYoung
ParticipantHi Damien my comment on your read seems to have gotten misplaced on someone else’s read. I do like your informative reads and your pacing and reflections sound great to me. Keep it up and thanks for sharing that!
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December 8, 2020 at 10:59 am #59248
adebenedicts95
ParticipantI would like to get some feedback on some narration scripts. Thanks.
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December 8, 2020 at 11:00 am #59249
adebenedicts95
Participantsorry. gonna have to fix the audio.
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December 8, 2020 at 7:57 am #59245
Alexis Williams
ParticipantHi there, here is another commercial demo assignment, but this one is a long read. I really tried to sound natural or conversational yet have fun dispite the topic.
I could really use your feedback. Thanks in advance.Attachments:
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December 9, 2020 at 12:59 am #59311
kfvoice
ParticipantGreat job! Really nice read! Way to keep it natural sounding! Keep it up! — Kathy
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December 8, 2020 at 11:51 pm #59303
mkell755
ParticipantHi ArWilliams! I really like this! Very conversational and authentic for your voice. You successfully created a visual in my head with anxiety as a physical character talking to someone, really nice emotion. Great emphasis on the appropriate words throughout. If you have not tried poetry, I think your voice would be great for that. This is also great, it just struck me when listening to this read. We want to hear more!
Mary
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December 8, 2020 at 8:11 pm #59278
RYoung
ParticipantSounds great to me, nice work and keep up the practice.
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December 8, 2020 at 6:34 pm #59262
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantDanggg girl this is so nice! I love your voice it is so smooth and this felt so natural. I really liked it. I also relate because I have anxiety so it spoke to me. My bits of things to work on would be, the first word “I’ve” I had to replay a few times because I did not understand it. I thought maybe it was “eyes”, so that first word could be spoken a bit more clearly. I thought the call to action could have had a beat right before it. My little brain couldn’t quite keep up at that point. All in all a very nice read. I’d love to hear more from you.
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December 8, 2020 at 12:06 am #59235
mkell755
ParticipantHi everyone! Here is my daily recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you all!
Mary
Stella Artois Beer
Of course Stella Artois tastes better than other beers. We’ve had over 600 years to get the recipe right. Since 1366 Stella Artois has been painstakingly brewed in a time-honored tradition using the choicest ingredients which is why our customers have kept coming back for more even after 600 years. Stella Artois. Perfection has it’s price.Attachments:
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December 8, 2020 at 11:12 pm #59293
Robert Broussard
ParticipantNice job Mary, I can tell you are really progressing at not sounding monotone. Good job! keep trying to hit certain words that you think are important to emphasize you message.
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December 8, 2020 at 8:03 pm #59275
RYoung
ParticipantHi I like this one a lot I think it captured some realistic sort of conversation. I would just go to that the words better in the beginning and brewed sounded off however minor that may be. Nice work on this one
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December 8, 2020 at 3:48 am #59244
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Mary! I like the sarcasm in your read! Nice pace. I would give a little more emphasis with “even after 600 years.” — Kathy
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December 7, 2020 at 10:00 pm #59216
bhodson
ParticipantHey all, here’s some narration practice for tonight. Still breathy and poppy, but I’m working on it 🙂
Brianne
Attachments:
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December 8, 2020 at 6:36 pm #59263
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantHi Briane, you have a lovely voice for this kind of copy! I notice the breath and popping you mentioned, what is your set up? are you by chance using a noise gate? These can cause problems if the settings are not set to have a more natural setting. Noise gate is similar to noise reduction. Anyways, I’m a bit of a tech/editing geek so I’m just curious 🙂
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December 8, 2020 at 8:25 pm #59281
bhodson
ParticipantHey Katelyn! I live on the first floor of an urban apartment building, so background noise is a constant battle. I have some presets set up in Reaper, including a gate, but am still fiddling around with them to figure out what works for me. Any tips would be greatly appreciated 🙂
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December 7, 2020 at 11:05 pm #59225
mkell755
ParticipantHi Brianne! I really like this for your voice! I did not notice breathiness on my end. It was well-paced and you have a nice clear tone which made for a pleasant-sounding read. Good job!
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 10:51 pm #59222
Robert Broussard
ParticipantHello, I thought is was good and fit your voice. Not bad.
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December 7, 2020 at 9:32 pm #59212
Mary_K_D
ParticipantWould you please listen and let me know what you think?
Peet’s coffee
characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.Sesame Place®
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi™! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place® theme park!Attachments:
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December 7, 2020 at 11:11 pm #59226
mkell755
ParticipantHi Mary! These were good reads for your tone of voice! I noticed a few extra “ands” thrown in on the first script – You and Me and Diane and Diane’s friend. I realize this is for practice, but just something to watch if this was a paying gig. I liked Sesame Street better for you – you sounded more excited about it and more decisive overall. I did hear some echoey sounds for both scripts too. Keep it up!
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 8:54 pm #59210
kfvoice
ParticipantHello all!
I decided to do something different for today’s practice. Like others have mentioned today, I too took the Science of Speaking Like a Pro webinar last week.
Here’s a little script I put together for a commercial/promo. The recording quality is not the best tonight, so any other feedback is appreciated.
Kathy
Netflix
You like romance. He’s into action. And then there are the kids.
Watch unlimited movies, TV shows, and more on all your devices for one low price.
Netflix. Choose your plan.
Attachments:
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December 7, 2020 at 11:13 pm #59227
mkell755
ParticipantHi Kathy! I really like this for your voice! It sounds really clear and straightforward and very professional! This would be great for your demo, Really good job!
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 7:56 pm #59205
isabrandon30
ParticipantHey everyone! I’m just looking for some feedback on how I performed in these. I had a lot of trouble with these scripts. Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
4/H
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance.Luckily, kids were.By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root.And grew.Grew kids who are confident and strong.Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born.They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HEREBeavers
The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.Creativity
The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.Attachments:
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December 8, 2020 at 3:22 am #59242
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Isa!
Script 1: Nice pace, and tone. I could hear slight changes in pitch; try playing around with that, but overall, it flowed well.
Script 2: Vary the inflections in your list, so it doesn’t sound so flat (“… robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.”)
Script 3: More pitch variation, and watch for micro-pauses not intended.We all have trouble with scripts, so don’t get discouraged. Keep at it!
Kathy
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December 9, 2020 at 11:59 pm #59381
isabrandon30
ParticipantThank you so much for taking the time to leave me feedback! I will do my best to make those changes!
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December 7, 2020 at 11:19 pm #59228
mkell755
ParticipantHi IsaBrandon! These were good reads for you.
Script 1 4H: Good pacing and flow of the script
Script 2 Beavers: This read sounded more like you were reading a book vs. actively explaining
Script 3 Creativity: This read sounded good as well, but it may need a little more variation in pitch or emphasis on certain words to match the text
I hope that helps a little. Keep it up!Mary
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December 10, 2020 at 12:01 am #59383
isabrandon30
ParticipantThank you so much for the feedback! I definitely agree with what you’re saying and will do my best to make those changes! I really appreciate it!
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December 7, 2020 at 7:57 pm #59209
isabrandon30
ParticipantSorry I posted the wrong script for Creativity! XD
Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It is the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question a situation or a possibility, therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.
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December 7, 2020 at 6:04 pm #59200
Robert Broussard
ParticipantMy version of Paul Harveys “So g*d made a farmer”. Long read and took a while. I appreciate and feedback you may have. Thanks
And on the 8th day, G*d looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk cows, work all day in the fields, milk cows again, eat supper, then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board”
— so G*d made a Farmer.“I need somebody with arms strong enough to rustle a calf and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild; somebody to call hogs, tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry, have to wait lunch until his wife’s done feeding visiting ladies, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon — and mean it”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt, and watch it die, then dry his eyes and say, ‘Maybe next year.’ I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make harness out of haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps; who, planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, and then pain’n from tractor back, put in another seventy-two hours”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds, and yet stop in mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor’s place
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bails, yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink-combed pullets, who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadow lark.”
It had to be somebody who’d plow deep and straight and not cut corners; somebody to seed, w**d, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week’s work with a five-mile drive to church; somebody who would bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh, and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says that he wants to spend his life “doing what dad does”
— so G*d made a Farmer.Attachments:
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December 8, 2020 at 3:05 am #59241
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Robert!
Wow! This was a really good script for your voice. I have heard Paul Harvey’s “So G*d Made a Farmer” before, so kudos to you for one, tackling it, and two, giving it your own spin! Great job on varying your inflections with the lists in the last paragraph.
I will mention, audio wise, that the “And” in the opening line was faint, and the first line (before “so G*d made a Farmer“) was low in volume compared to the rest of your read.
Overall, terrific job!
Kathy
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December 8, 2020 at 11:40 am #59253
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks KFvoice, I will work on that. I have me a new desk coming for this setup and try to figure out what is going on with that. Appreciate it!
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December 7, 2020 at 11:26 pm #59229
mkell755
ParticipantHi Robert – really nice! I was smiling and then tearing up all in the same script. This is really good for you and your voice and it sounds very authentic for you. I think the pacing and tempo was very good. I liked the way you emphasized and even sped up just a little bit to read in the last paragraph the long list of items: to seed, w**d, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and…” which added extra effect to the read overall. Excellent!
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 11:37 pm #59233
Robert Broussard
ParticipantMary, I appreciate you taking the time to read that. I was long winded and difficult to do because Paul Harvey wrote it the way he spoke. It took a little while to make that one. I am trying to do more challenging reads. Once again thanks.
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December 8, 2020 at 12:10 am #59237
mkell755
ParticipantYou are welcome Robert! I’m guessing it was hard to do and keep up the pace, but your pace was consistent throughout; really sounded good. Paul Harvey was such an iconic speaker too, so being able to emulate him while keeping your own identity is a good goal to stretch for.
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 4:00 pm #59195
chas82
ParticipantHi All – Two more practice reads from the Edge library for my Commercial journey. There’s some background noise from a landscaper working in the neighborhood I can’t eliminate – I mean the noise, not the landscaper. I’m primarily working today on a conversational tone but all feedback about any aspect of these two reads is welcomed.
Thanks, Chas
Apple Ipod
Presenting iPod. The first MP3 player to pack a mind-blowing 1,000 songs and a 10-hour battery into a stunning 6.5-ounce package you can literally take everywhere. But iPod isn’t just a revolution in portability, it’s also a revolution in simplicity. Just plug into your Mac and all of your iTunes songs and playlists are automatically downloaded into iPod at blazing FireWire speed. With iPod, it’s that easy to take your entire music collection with you wherever you go, in the pocket of your choice. Get your iPod at The Wiz, Circuit City, or Best BuyHarvey Home Theatre
He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you.Attachments:
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December 8, 2020 at 2:42 am #59240
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Chas!
Nice job! I love your tone. I echo previous comments, although I will add to be mindful of slight micro-pauses not intended in the script — in the first copy between “playlists are“. The second script was my favorite. Really well done, and flowed well. Keep it up!
Kathy
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December 7, 2020 at 11:31 pm #59230
mkell755
ParticipantHi Chas! These are really good reads for you! You have a really nice deep clear tone that is very well-suited for this type of commercial. Good pace and flow of the script. Good job all around!
Mary
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December 7, 2020 at 9:44 pm #59215
bhodson
ParticipantHi Chas! I really love your tone, and your pacing and pitch are great on both. I think you could relish the microwave line at the end even more, maybe with a slightly longer pause after “now.” Nice job! Also does that Circuit City reference make anyone else feel way old??
Brianne
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