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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi there. Here is a narration script. any feedback is appreciated 🙂
Born in Seattle, Washington, on October 28, 1955, William Henry Gates III is the only son of the three children of Mary and William Henry Gates, Jr.
A bright and active child, Bill began cutting classes to hang out at all hours at his private school‘s computer center.
When he was only 16, he and friend Paul Allen sold their computer-run system to monitor highway traffic and reportedly earned $20,000 –
but business fell off when customers found out that the entrepreneurs were still in high school.-
Hi Katelyn!
Nice read! Good job with changing your pitch and tone. One suggestion: the script had the date as “28”, and that is how you read it (because we don’t want to change what is written), but in an audition you might want to check how they would want you to read it. It seems common to say “28th” when speaking, even when it’s not on paper. A minor detail, but important one. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi Kaitlin, I do enjoy your short commercials that you post that give a feeling of satisfaction and happiness about the product you’re promoting. I had been reading in the past regarding different genres of VoiceOver and one coach had mentioned online that we can’t be all things to all people. From what I know which is not much narration is a whole different animal than TV or radio spots, without in mind I only mentioned this to help that in your narration it sounds a little happy versus informative if that helps, thanks for sharing and good luck!
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Thanks! Commercial does feel natural to me but I’ve been working with a coach on commercial since I think July. I’ve only been practicing narration for a week LOL it is very new and does feel very different for sure. It also spans like a few dozen different types – eLearning, bio, corporate, explainer, documentary, mobile apps etc. I just gotta find out what fits for me. Lots of work to do! Lots of trial and error. Thank you for listening!! 🙂
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Wow that was wonderful! Your emphasis on key words is spot on. I noticed that the very beginning seemed a little slow, I would try tweaking the pace very slightly next time but otherwise great job!
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Looking for performance feedback, thanks!
Script: “This lesson dedicated to snare drum rudiments introduces the Flams: Flam Accent, Flam Paradiddle, Flamacue and Flam Tap.
The Flam, in musical theory and writing, doesn’t have a definite value; it can be described as a double stroke made by a first-hand weak stroke closely followed by an accented, stronger second-hand stroke. It’s a grace note, represented in drum charts by a smaller note with a tie put just before the principal note. For a correct execution of a Flam, the stick that plays the weaker stroke starts from about one inch from the drumhead, and the stick that plays the principal stroke starts from a superior height.” -
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Hi there, here is another commercial demo assignment, but this one is a long read. I really tried to sound natural or conversational yet have fun dispite the topic.
I could really use your feedback. Thanks in advance.-
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Hi ArWilliams! I really like this! Very conversational and authentic for your voice. You successfully created a visual in my head with anxiety as a physical character talking to someone, really nice emotion. Great emphasis on the appropriate words throughout. If you have not tried poetry, I think your voice would be great for that. This is also great, it just struck me when listening to this read. We want to hear more!
Mary
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Danggg girl this is so nice! I love your voice it is so smooth and this felt so natural. I really liked it. I also relate because I have anxiety so it spoke to me. My bits of things to work on would be, the first word “I’ve” I had to replay a few times because I did not understand it. I thought maybe it was “eyes”, so that first word could be spoken a bit more clearly. I thought the call to action could have had a beat right before it. My little brain couldn’t quite keep up at that point. All in all a very nice read. I’d love to hear more from you.
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Hi everyone! Here is my daily recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you all!
Mary
Stella Artois Beer
Of course Stella Artois tastes better than other beers. We’ve had over 600 years to get the recipe right. Since 1366 Stella Artois has been painstakingly brewed in a time-honored tradition using the choicest ingredients which is why our customers have kept coming back for more even after 600 years. Stella Artois. Perfection has it’s price.-
Nice job Mary, I can tell you are really progressing at not sounding monotone. Good job! keep trying to hit certain words that you think are important to emphasize you message.
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Hi I like this one a lot I think it captured some realistic sort of conversation. I would just go to that the words better in the beginning and brewed sounded off however minor that may be. Nice work on this one
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Hi Mary! I like the sarcasm in your read! Nice pace. I would give a little more emphasis with “even after 600 years.” — Kathy
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Hey all, here’s some narration practice for tonight. Still breathy and poppy, but I’m working on it 🙂
Brianne
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Hi Briane, you have a lovely voice for this kind of copy! I notice the breath and popping you mentioned, what is your set up? are you by chance using a noise gate? These can cause problems if the settings are not set to have a more natural setting. Noise gate is similar to noise reduction. Anyways, I’m a bit of a tech/editing geek so I’m just curious 🙂
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Hi Brianne! I really like this for your voice! I did not notice breathiness on my end. It was well-paced and you have a nice clear tone which made for a pleasant-sounding read. Good job!
Mary
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Would you please listen and let me know what you think?
Peet’s coffee
characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.Sesame Place®
Sesame Place is the theme park where Sesame Street comes to life! New in 2018 is our biggest, most exciting roller coaster ever – Oscar’s Wacky Taxi™! Bring the entire family to whirl on rides, splash down slides and hug everyone’s favorite furry friends. So before little kids become big kids, bring them to meet their Sesame Street friends at Sesame Place® theme park!-
Hi Mary! These were good reads for your tone of voice! I noticed a few extra “ands” thrown in on the first script – You and Me and Diane and Diane’s friend. I realize this is for practice, but just something to watch if this was a paying gig. I liked Sesame Street better for you – you sounded more excited about it and more decisive overall. I did hear some echoey sounds for both scripts too. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hello all!
I decided to do something different for today’s practice. Like others have mentioned today, I too took the Science of Speaking Like a Pro webinar last week.
Here’s a little script I put together for a commercial/promo. The recording quality is not the best tonight, so any other feedback is appreciated.
Kathy
Netflix
You like romance. He’s into action. And then there are the kids.
Watch unlimited movies, TV shows, and more on all your devices for one low price.
Netflix. Choose your plan.
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Hi Kathy! I really like this for your voice! It sounds really clear and straightforward and very professional! This would be great for your demo, Really good job!
Mary
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Thanks, Mary! The second line could use some more work, but overall, I got the pitch variation I was going for. I’ll file this one away for the next (commercial or promo) demo. Thanks again!
Kathy
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Hey everyone! I’m just looking for some feedback on how I performed in these. I had a lot of trouble with these scripts. Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
4/H
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance.Luckily, kids were.By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root.And grew.Grew kids who are confident and strong.Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born.They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HEREBeavers
The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.Creativity
The b****r builds its lodge out of intertangled twigs and sticks; as freezing weather nears, they plaster their lodge with mud, making a concrete layer that no predator can break through. During the early nineteenth century, the b****r pelt was the single most valuable commodity; the pelt being used for robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.-
Hi Isa!
Script 1: Nice pace, and tone. I could hear slight changes in pitch; try playing around with that, but overall, it flowed well.
Script 2: Vary the inflections in your list, so it doesn’t sound so flat (“… robes, coats, clothing trims, and top hats.”)
Script 3: More pitch variation, and watch for micro-pauses not intended.We all have trouble with scripts, so don’t get discouraged. Keep at it!
Kathy
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Hi IsaBrandon! These were good reads for you.
Script 1 4H: Good pacing and flow of the script
Script 2 Beavers: This read sounded more like you were reading a book vs. actively explaining
Script 3 Creativity: This read sounded good as well, but it may need a little more variation in pitch or emphasis on certain words to match the text
I hope that helps a little. Keep it up!Mary
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Sorry I posted the wrong script for Creativity! XD
Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It is the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question a situation or a possibility, therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards but when we focus our attention on something because we want to.
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My version of Paul Harveys “So g*d made a farmer”. Long read and took a while. I appreciate and feedback you may have. Thanks
And on the 8th day, G*d looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, milk cows, work all day in the fields, milk cows again, eat supper, then go to town and stay past midnight at a meeting of the school board”
— so G*d made a Farmer.“I need somebody with arms strong enough to rustle a calf and yet gentle enough to deliver his own grandchild; somebody to call hogs, tame cantankerous machinery, come home hungry, have to wait lunch until his wife’s done feeding visiting ladies, then tell the ladies to be sure and come back real soon — and mean it”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a newborn colt, and watch it die, then dry his eyes and say, ‘Maybe next year.’ I need somebody who can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout, shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire, who can make harness out of haywire, feed sacks and shoe scraps; who, planting time and harvest season, will finish his forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, and then pain’n from tractor back, put in another seventy-two hours”
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d had to have somebody willing to ride the ruts at double speed to get the hay in ahead of the rain clouds, and yet stop in mid-field and race to help when he sees the first smoke from a neighbor’s place
— so G*d made a Farmer.G*d said, “I need somebody strong enough to clear trees and heave bails, yet gentle enough to tame lambs and wean pigs and tend the pink-combed pullets, who will stop his mower for an hour to splint the broken leg of a meadow lark.”
It had to be somebody who’d plow deep and straight and not cut corners; somebody to seed, w**d, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and replenish the self-feeder and finish a hard week’s work with a five-mile drive to church; somebody who would bale a family together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh, and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says that he wants to spend his life “doing what dad does”
— so G*d made a Farmer.-
Hi Robert!
Wow! This was a really good script for your voice. I have heard Paul Harvey’s “So G*d Made a Farmer” before, so kudos to you for one, tackling it, and two, giving it your own spin! Great job on varying your inflections with the lists in the last paragraph.
I will mention, audio wise, that the “And” in the opening line was faint, and the first line (before “so G*d made a Farmer“) was low in volume compared to the rest of your read.
Overall, terrific job!
Kathy
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Thanks KFvoice, I will work on that. I have me a new desk coming for this setup and try to figure out what is going on with that. Appreciate it!
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Hi Robert – really nice! I was smiling and then tearing up all in the same script. This is really good for you and your voice and it sounds very authentic for you. I think the pacing and tempo was very good. I liked the way you emphasized and even sped up just a little bit to read in the last paragraph the long list of items: to seed, w**d, feed, breed and rake and disc and plow and plant and tie the fleece and strain the milk and…” which added extra effect to the read overall. Excellent!
Mary
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Mary, I appreciate you taking the time to read that. I was long winded and difficult to do because Paul Harvey wrote it the way he spoke. It took a little while to make that one. I am trying to do more challenging reads. Once again thanks.
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