Feedback Forum
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The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication.
Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
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Thanks for listening and any comments are much appreciated!
Advil
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Hi RYoung! I always think your reads are great, with really clear pacing and great tone. I give this next comment with exactly one grain of salt: I’m a musician first so I always hear pitch with a lot of emphasis, and it sounds like you change pitch within the word pretty frequently throughout the read and it almost gives it a little singsongy in places. Does that make sense? Feel free to completely disregard if that doesn’t resonate with you! Overall, it is, as always, consistently a great read!
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This script has multiple lists, how did I do in bringing them to life?
Intuition
Now there’s a solution to the soap-opera of shaving. Introducing Intuition. The only all-in-one razor that lathers and shaves in one easy step. You’ll never need shave gel, soap or body wash again, because Intuition’s triple blades are surrounded by a unique Skin Conditioning Solid. With just water, it smooths and soothes to give you soft, smooth, touchable skin with every shave. Shaving’s never been so simple.-
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David Goldberg did a great advanced auditioning class on this exact thing about a year ago.
From first listen, you have a pretty good handle on it: take each item on the list, and give each its own inflection by going up, going down, staying “flat” (tone, not emotion), or up then down in the same word. It creates an auditory “comma” without breaking stride, and gives the list more texture.
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Hi everyone, my demo prep is tomorrow and I’ve been practicing. One of the scripts I’m including is a car commercial. How’s my performance? I’ve been working h*****n lists. Also, is my recording setup still great?
Infiniti FX
They said an SUV would never have the heart of a sports car. They said an SUV would never turn heads. Or give directions. Or play movies. They were wrong. The 315-horsepower Infiniti FX. Rethink the SUV at Infiniti.com.-
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I agree with what RYoung shared. I would also suggest giving a little more emphasis to “never” in the first sentence because this word defines the challenge. You emphasized it well in the second sentence. I would also change the emphasis onto the verbs “give” and “play” in the third and fourth sentences and deemphasize “or “ at the start of the sentences. It was good overall; just a few tweaks. I also liked your sound quality very much. I’m sure the demo creation went well.
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Hi Tim, I submitted a reply to your read but seem to got lost somewhere. Basically I think you started off well but the last word in the list or phrase which was play movies seem to fizzle out. Then I think you could smile more at the end because of the fact that they were wrong is the turning point in the script after listing what an SUV could never be, I would just turn up the enthusiasm a bit on the last line otherwise good work on this and good luck on your demo!
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Hi everyone! I’m still working on soundproofing my studio, so these havent’t come out as crisp as I would like, but I am eager to hear your feedback all the same!
Carnation Breakfast Essentials
Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.
Sandals
Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.
Peets Coffee
Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.
Weelearn
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First of all I would say your voice is very nice and has a good tone to it. The first read sounded really good maybe the ending could be perked up a bit. The sandals read started off well however the ending kind of tailed off with downward inflections and I believe love should be highlighted and then the last line should be highlighted as well with with a smile and or upward inflection. As far as the the last two I would only say this to help you and I have or have had some of the same issues that were pointed out to me for being disjointed or staccato. The Pete’s commercial especially seemed kind of disjointed even though you have a pleasant and natural delivery, I would just try to smooth out and tighten up the read more if that makes sense. The We learn read I thought was very well done maybe only slightly disjointed but I think you’re inflections were good, just maybe tighten up the read because of the gaps between words eere kind of long. I had posted We learn to the script library from an audition I did a while back. Keep up the great work!
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Practice practice practice 🙂
Your Smile
Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people have already discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them. -
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I just finished this morning. My 1sr attempt at righting my own script with music mixing. I am away from my home studio set up and am in a hotel, so the mic I am using is not near the quality of my normal setup. Please give any feedback good or bad. Thanks
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Did my first session with Jen Sims last night to get ready for my commercial demo. Here’s two of the scripts that we’ll definitely be including, would love feedback on my pacing, tone, connection with the material, etc.
Canine Cancer Foundation:
Through education, research, outreach, and fundraising, our goal is to eliminate dog cancer as a major health problem in dogs. Want to become part of the cure? Become a Core Member Today!Toyota:
Electronic on-demand all-wheel drive. Android Auto and Apple CarPlay. An estimated 41 miles per gallon. The 2021 Toyota RAV4 LE Hybrid. See where today takes you.-
Hi Brian – good reads! For the Canine Cancer read, it was spot on. Very good flow, tone, pace and clarity. For the Toyota read, also very good, natural delivery. It sounded like you added a couple of words before 2021 – “the all new 2021…”? I realize this is for practice, just something I noticed. Great job!
Mary
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Commercial feels like such a struggle for me! Thank you for all of your advice and feedback <3
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Sorry folks but Collen reminded me I had another take of this one I forgot about, had to put my music in, thanks for listening!
The Power of True
What do we mean when we say “the power of true”?
The core of it starts with curiosity. Because everything starts with curiosity. It’s the rocket fuel of creative ideas and bold thinking.
What does curiosity look like in action? It looks like what we do at Fleishman Hillard, every day.
When clients come to us, we embrace their challenges. We listen, we explore, we empathize, we learn. Insights and solutions bubble up from there…grounded in who we are as an agency and who we are as human beings: confident, honest, diverse, real . . . true.
This is our purpose – – to be bold . . . and to stay true. Our clients can do amazing things with that in this complex world. With our help, they can take risks, inspire, grow, break through, disrupt industries, and make a transformative impact on the world.
Pretty powerful, right?
Be Bold. Stay True.
This is what we mean by the Power of True.-
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I like this version of the The Power of True script, RYoung! With the music, it sounds great!
I have a couple of minor suggestions for feedback.
When you say, “Pretty powerful, right?”, trying changing your pitch up with the word “right?”
The last two lines:
Be Bold. Stay True.
This is what we mean by the Power of True.These sound like tags lines, and perhaps insert a longer pause between these lines, and “Pretty powerful, right?”
Just a couple of thoughts. Overall, a nice read!
Kathy
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Hey everyone! Here’s another practice read!
Freshii
At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!
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I also love how clearly your enthusiasm for the material comes through! Awesome job! I would definitely recommend slowing down a bit, especially when you are listing the different bowl options. I also think a little more of a pause before the last sentence would be helpful to distinguish from the “pitch” part of the script to the tagline – giving the summation a bit more finality.
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