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This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
This topic was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
I’m looking for feedback on my performance. This was listed as an educational game for kids about space. Thanks! –Alexis
Script:
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!
Hi Alexis! I liked this read for you – very nice and warm, and I could hear the smile in your voice! It was friendly and sounded good for a kids game. In the first sentence it sounded almost like a period after the word “system”, but there is not a period or a comma there. The sentence feels long but maybe it could flow a little more smoothly? That’s a very minor thing overall. Good enthusiasm and variation in tone. Good job!
Hello good people! I am uploading a few narration reads from the Edge Script Library for this week. Many thanks for nay notes or feedback.
All the best,
John
PEI Destinations
As a visitor to PEI, you can do more than just witness the Island way of life. You can live it, too. Real experiences. Simple pleasures. Being active and relaxed at the same time. Any island is its own unique world. Stories, music, recipes, and skills are preserved and passed down for generations. But here you’re welcome to take part, and take home some of our traditions. Islanders are eager to help. In an ever-growing series of activities, you can work side-by-side with chefs, artisans, fishermen, farmers, musicians, and a host of people who defy categorizing, but who love what they do and want to share it with you. So if you’re looking for a holiday with some real life behind it, you’ll find it here. Yes, you might get your hands d***y. You might also get your shoes wet. And your knees stained. All temporary. But the memory of your Island experiences will last a lifetime.
American Gothic
In 1930, an Iowa artist named Grant Wood asked his sister and his dentist to pose for a painting; a tribute to the tough rural stock of America.
He dressed his sister in a simple frock: a white collar held close around her neck by a broach. The dentist he outfitted in overalls, a band collar shirt buttoned tight around the throat and a dark business jacket.
I agree with the other comments. In your first script, at the end, with “Yes, you might get your hands d***y. You might also get your shoes wet. And your knees stained. All temporary.“, try varying your inflections here, as well. I hope this helps!
Kathy
This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by kfvoice.
Hi John! These were both good reads. Good flow, pace and variation of words throughout. One the first read “All temporary.” sounded to me like “All temporary?”, but that is a small thing. Good clarity and smoothness of read. Good job!
Hi John, Good reads! In both recordings I like your pace, inflection and clarity. In the PEI, I like how you handled the list starting with “Stories”, that was good pitch variation. Keep up the good work! –Alexis
Hello! Posting two practice commercials by our 10 year old. The first one is a bit longer than her usual practice scripts. The second one is a swing at engaging and enticing the listener to stick around and watch.
Open to any and all feedback. Thank you!
—
Hershey Park Christmas Candyland
Hershey Park Christmas Candylane is bigger and brighter than ever! New this year experience twice as many lights and holiday riders on Superdooperlooper, Wildcat, Cocoa Cruiser and Laff Track.
As always, enjoy your favorite traditions including a visit to Santa and his nine live reindeer, a dazzling choreographed light show, ice skating, festive entertainment, and delicious holiday treats.
Later, don’t forget to drive over to Hershey Sweet Lights for two miles of festive displays from the comfort of your car. Start planning your family’s visit today and discover your Hershey Park happy.
—
Discovery Kids
What’s as strong as an elephant? Stinks like a skunk? And can see in the dark? Find out next on Discovery Kids!
Hi Christine! Both reads were really good! On the first read there was a pause between visit and today “Start planning your family’s visit today and discover…”, this would make more sense if strung together as one thought with the pause after “today” to make it flow a little smoother. Very good reading, pace and clarity throughout! I’m impressed!
Hi Kathy! I like this read. I could not quite make out the “of” before macabre, even after listening a few times. I think there may have been a word omitted (also) in the last sentence. Not a big deal for a practice read, but just something to consider. Your voice is very clear and calm and well-suited for this genre. Good job!
Thank you for sharing. The quality of the recording is great. I wonder if it sounds flat because the sentences don’t seem connected to each other? Your voice is terrific, and I wonder if just a bit more flow would make it more dynamic? Good luck!
The sentences actually should be one paragraph (opening paragraph from EAP on biography.com); I separated them on my copy when recording, so perhaps it is one reason why my reading didn’t flow.
Hello all! Uploading my recording here (recorded on my phone) for any all feedback. Thank you!!
Guild Guitars
When you’ve played a guitar for years, every scratch, ding, and worn-down fret means something. The places you’ve been, the songs you’ve sung, the people you’ve shared your music with. That’s what a Guild is all about. Made to be played. Guild Guitars.
Hi! Great recording. Your voice and pace was terrific. I think the thing to take a look at is your sound quality. It sounds a little echo-y? Good luck!
Hey everyone! This is my first feedback read so please be gentle and ignore those poppin p’s, I’m still working on the technical stuff 🙂
Narration: Bob Ross bio
Bob Ross. The soft-spoken painter who didn’t make mistakes, only “happy accidents.” Just thinking about him can make you feel just a bit more peaceful. He painted on PBS stations in the 1980s and 1990s until his untimely death in 1995. His death occurred just as he was exploding on the pop culture scene. There’s a lot people don’t know about Bob Ross, so get ready for some surprises about the guy with the sweet pipes and sweeter ‘fro.
Nice read! Your calm tone and pace were a good match to the script. It had a PBS kind of vibe to it. I agree that in a few places the pauses between sentences were a bit long. (This is something I struggle with. It doesn’t seem that way when I read but listening back I am beginning to hear myself doing it.) My coach said to me during our last session on a particular script to slow down but don’t pause as much. It’s hard to wrap my head around but perhaps that could apply here as well. –Alexis
I also thought it was an excellent choice of script. Your tone perfectly matched the subject. You also had a very nice tempo within most sentences. By that I mean I thought your pauses at a few comma’s and at the end of almost every sentence were just a tad too long – that can tend to make the delivery sound a little choppy. I also thought I was hearing a pattern of starting sentences and some phrases with a very fast read of the first word when they were a single syllable– examples are THE before soft spoken, JUST before thinking about him, THE before 1980’s, IN before 1995 and HIS before death.
Just minor stuff and this will become second nature as you continue to practice.
Chas
This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by chas82.
Very nice first read! Your voice fits the script, as Bob Ross was a very calm and peaceful person. (I remember watching on PBS as a kid in the 80’s.) Your enunciation was clear, and pitch and tone varied where needed.
I have a couple of minor suggestions. First, is to watch out for sounding “breathy” between sentences. I caught it (slightly) between a couple of sentences, but it gets easier when you get used to the technical aspects of recording and editing. The second item, is to make sure to read what is in the script out fully (1980’s and 1990’s as opposed to 1980’s and 90’s). I have taken “shortcuts” in practicing accidentally, and this was probably out of habit, but when it comes to auditioning, it is wise to follow the script or double check.
Hi Bhodson! First of all, welcome! It sounded really good! You have a nice, quiet tone that is good for this genre. It flowed in a good conversational way. The pacing was good. Keep it up!
Hi, Just looking for feedback on this script from the library. Thanks! Alexis
Script:
Welcome to Hershey, the Great American Chocolate Town, where families come together for a taste of the sweet life. Tucked in the rolling hills of Central Pennsylvania, this idyllic escape offers the latest and greatest in entertainment and hospitality, fused with the traditions of one of America’s original success stories.
Nice read! The script works well with your voice, with a nice warm delivery. The pacing and tone were good, with clear enunciation, and varied pitch. I think “Great American Chocolate Town” could have a bit more emphasis to it, but that is just a minor thought.
Hi Alexis! This sounds really nice and smooth. The pacing was great and the emphasis on several words throughout was great. Great clarity in your voice too – very good!
Hi all !—- I was browsing the Commercial library and came across this movie script. Not exactly a Commercial but it resonated with me because I think my voice is a good match for the tone of this script. Interested in all feedback and especially pacing, emphasis of the key words and pitch (could have gone a little lower). Thanks
MOVIE SCRIPT – Lord of the Rings – Opening Monologue
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
I agree, your voice does fit the tone of the script. My feedback, to differ from previous tips, is to vary your inflections when you have lists, so it’s not all one tone. For example, when reading: immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings.
Hi Chas – good read! I like the deep, calm tone of your voice and agree that it is a good fit for this script. The pacing and flow was good. Starting with “But they were all deceived…” the script becomes much darker / more serious (I’m agreeing with Alexis here too), I would think you should try a more somber / warning tone from that point of the script to the end – you are setting the stage that explains the struggle between good and evil that is the basis of the story. I think it could sound a lot more theatrical to get the point across. Good read!
Hi Chas, I think you did a great job with this script, and I agree with you that your voice is a good match for it.I think your pace was fine, but I think it’s ok to go a little more serious with the tone. I felt at times that you were a little bit upbeat when reading and it seemed out of place. Think about the seriousness of the script – this one ring basically ruined the world – and try to convey that in your read. Keep it up!
Hi everyone,
Seeking room noise and read feedback.
Script is from Edge Library.
Thank you in advance!
Job Additional Information
Though the tone should be professional, we’re looking for someone who can bring a conversational tone to the script. This presentation will be educational but it should feel like someone explaining how their department works while relaxing with some coworkers around the water cooler.
Sample Script
Every year as the temperature rises and summer reaches its peak, Hobby Lobby stores begin stocking up on almost 12 million cubic feet of product that makes up the magic of our Christmas décor. Customers pour into our stores year after year to celebrate this special time of year with us. As soon as the products begin to arrive, our social media lights up with our faithful customers who can’t wait to see the season start.
Hi Holly, I really liked your read and think that you really got the sense of explaining and educating while being relaxed and conversational. I’m sorry that I can’t comment on the room noise because at the moment I don’t have good headphones (just using earbuds). Nice job!