Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone! Here is my daily recording (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Thank you!
Welcome to Lifetime Fitness!
Discover a destination like no other. Where people come together to pursue passions, overcome limitations and realize potential. Here you’ll find the space, expertise and inspiration you need to do more than you thought possible.-
Hi Mary, Your voice seems pleasant, however too many upward inflections for this script, now if it was a children’s commercial or story it fits with your tone. This script seems to want more passion and inspiration, hope that helps!
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Welcome back, Mary!
Your pace was good here. I can hear you relaxing more.
The opening line needs a little more of an enthusiastic tone, and in the lists (pursue passions, overcome limitations and realize potential … space, expertise and inspiration), if you varied your inflections with them more, it would improve the read.
I hope this helps. Keep it up! Good read!
Kathy
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Hey ya’ll! I’d love feedback on my latest practice script: both the read and the sound quality. I’m working on my home studio setup and would love to hear what your ears think about the current setup and what else it might need. THANKS!
“Meet Karen
a full time chartered accountant by day, full time home traffic controller by night
aaand a part time fund-raiser.
Chocolates and paper forms? There’s got to be a better way.
Introducing FlipGive, the best way to fundraise online.
Earn up to 50% when your friends and family shop with great retailers and restaurants.
Start by creating your campaign page in just a few simple steps.
Other fund-raising needs? No Problem! FlipGive makes it easy for a variety of groups to raise money.
Easily share your campaign in person via social media or e-mail so your friends and family can help you reach your funding goal no matter where they live.
Yes even uncle Bob can help out, with a quick and easy purchase from his favorite brand.
Manage your campaign by tracking progress, keeping your supporters upto-date, and thanking them when the mission is complete.
Flipgive, the future of fundraising is here.”-
Hi Burdahgirl!
Great job! Pace, tone, pitch were spot on!
I liked how you added micro-pauses in the line: Easily share your campaign in person via social media or e-mail so your friends and family can help you reach your funding goal no matter where they live. Otherwise, it would be a run-on sentence.
Your last line was louder, however, I think that may have been your intention to billboard and create a tag line? It works, but just a little too loud compared to the rest of the copy.
Kathy
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“this is an athlete, 20 reps deep, sprinting past every leak in our softest smoothest fabric, she’s confident, protected, her strength, respected. Depend, the only thing stronger than us, is you.”
(link) https://www.ispot.tv/ad/nmJ4/depend-silhouette-briefs-respected#
Helllllooooo from Los Angeles (korea town), I just had my 1st VO coaching session with the infamous Kara Edwards and am just a beginner, so please go easy on me! (recorded from my lav mic attached to my iphone ..(for now until I upgrade))
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Great job on the read! Nice pacing and a wonderful, clear voice. I would say you could try experimenting with a little more emotion or expressive tone for the very beginning of the read so we know right off the bat how you feel about this amazing woman. I got it later when you said “her strength, respected”, so great work on that! You definitely don’t sound like a beginner – way to go!
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Thanks for listening and any comments are much appreciated!
Advil
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.-
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Hi RYoung! I always think your reads are great, with really clear pacing and great tone. I give this next comment with exactly one grain of salt: I’m a musician first so I always hear pitch with a lot of emphasis, and it sounds like you change pitch within the word pretty frequently throughout the read and it almost gives it a little singsongy in places. Does that make sense? Feel free to completely disregard if that doesn’t resonate with you! Overall, it is, as always, consistently a great read!
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This script has multiple lists, how did I do in bringing them to life?
Intuition
Now there’s a solution to the soap-opera of shaving. Introducing Intuition. The only all-in-one razor that lathers and shaves in one easy step. You’ll never need shave gel, soap or body wash again, because Intuition’s triple blades are surrounded by a unique Skin Conditioning Solid. With just water, it smooths and soothes to give you soft, smooth, touchable skin with every shave. Shaving’s never been so simple.-
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David Goldberg did a great advanced auditioning class on this exact thing about a year ago.
From first listen, you have a pretty good handle on it: take each item on the list, and give each its own inflection by going up, going down, staying “flat” (tone, not emotion), or up then down in the same word. It creates an auditory “comma” without breaking stride, and gives the list more texture.
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Hi everyone, my demo prep is tomorrow and I’ve been practicing. One of the scripts I’m including is a car commercial. How’s my performance? I’ve been working h*****n lists. Also, is my recording setup still great?
Infiniti FX
They said an SUV would never have the heart of a sports car. They said an SUV would never turn heads. Or give directions. Or play movies. They were wrong. The 315-horsepower Infiniti FX. Rethink the SUV at Infiniti.com.-
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I agree with what RYoung shared. I would also suggest giving a little more emphasis to “never” in the first sentence because this word defines the challenge. You emphasized it well in the second sentence. I would also change the emphasis onto the verbs “give” and “play” in the third and fourth sentences and deemphasize “or “ at the start of the sentences. It was good overall; just a few tweaks. I also liked your sound quality very much. I’m sure the demo creation went well.
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Hi Tim, I submitted a reply to your read but seem to got lost somewhere. Basically I think you started off well but the last word in the list or phrase which was play movies seem to fizzle out. Then I think you could smile more at the end because of the fact that they were wrong is the turning point in the script after listing what an SUV could never be, I would just turn up the enthusiasm a bit on the last line otherwise good work on this and good luck on your demo!
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Hi everyone! I’m still working on soundproofing my studio, so these havent’t come out as crisp as I would like, but I am eager to hear your feedback all the same!
Carnation Breakfast Essentials
Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.
Sandals
Somewhere in the Caribbean, there are 5-star luxury resorts where it’s all-inclusive, all the time. Sandals, where love is all you need. Because everything else is included. Call 1-800-Sandals.
Peets Coffee
Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.
Weelearn
Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same. Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more. Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away. Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today. Weelearn – learning through watching.
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First of all I would say your voice is very nice and has a good tone to it. The first read sounded really good maybe the ending could be perked up a bit. The sandals read started off well however the ending kind of tailed off with downward inflections and I believe love should be highlighted and then the last line should be highlighted as well with with a smile and or upward inflection. As far as the the last two I would only say this to help you and I have or have had some of the same issues that were pointed out to me for being disjointed or staccato. The Pete’s commercial especially seemed kind of disjointed even though you have a pleasant and natural delivery, I would just try to smooth out and tighten up the read more if that makes sense. The We learn read I thought was very well done maybe only slightly disjointed but I think you’re inflections were good, just maybe tighten up the read because of the gaps between words eere kind of long. I had posted We learn to the script library from an audition I did a while back. Keep up the great work!
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Practice practice practice 🙂
Your Smile
Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people have already discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them. -
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I just finished this morning. My 1sr attempt at righting my own script with music mixing. I am away from my home studio set up and am in a hotel, so the mic I am using is not near the quality of my normal setup. Please give any feedback good or bad. Thanks
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Did my first session with Jen Sims last night to get ready for my commercial demo. Here’s two of the scripts that we’ll definitely be including, would love feedback on my pacing, tone, connection with the material, etc.
Canine Cancer Foundation:
Through education, research, outreach, and fundraising, our goal is to eliminate dog cancer as a major health problem in dogs. Want to become part of the cure? Become a Core Member Today!Toyota:
Electronic on-demand all-wheel drive. Android Auto and Apple CarPlay. An estimated 41 miles per gallon. The 2021 Toyota RAV4 LE Hybrid. See where today takes you.-
Hi Brian – good reads! For the Canine Cancer read, it was spot on. Very good flow, tone, pace and clarity. For the Toyota read, also very good, natural delivery. It sounded like you added a couple of words before 2021 – “the all new 2021…”? I realize this is for practice, just something I noticed. Great job!
Mary
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