[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[BrianWigginsVO]

Did my first session with Jen Sims last night to get ready for my commercial demo. Here’s two of the scripts that we’ll definitely be including, would love feedback on my pacing, tone, connection with the material, etc.

Canine Cancer Foundation:
Through education, research, outreach, and fundraising, our goal is to eliminate dog cancer as a major health problem in dogs. Want to become part of the cure? Become a Core Member Today!

Toyota:
Electronic on-demand all-wheel drive. Android Auto and Apple CarPlay. An estimated 41 miles per gallon. The 2021 Toyota RAV4 LE Hybrid. See where today takes you.

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[mkell755]

Hi Brian – good reads! For the Canine Cancer read, it was spot on. Very good flow, tone, pace and clarity. For the Toyota read, also very good, natural delivery. It sounded like you added a couple of words before 2021 – “the all new 2021…”? I realize this is for practice, just something I noticed. Great job!

Mary

[colleen]

Really enjoyed these reads, Brian…upbeat, smooth, personable and very professional-sounding. Great job!

[burdahgirl]

Hey Brian, these are both awesome reads, and sounds like you still have plenty of time for polishing. If I had to be really picky I might say that the second read could be a little more exciting in the tone? Still a great read.

[Robert Broussard]

Brian, both sound good. You voice a very good fit for the material. Tone, pitch and pace are also well done.

[burdahgirl]

Commercial feels like such a struggle for me! Thank you for all of your advice and feedback <3

“Revlon High Dimension Color Accents
Comb. Highlight. Gorgeous. New Revlon High Dimension Color Accents Highlighting kit. The Breakthrough? An exclusive applicator comb that regulates the right amount of color every time. So you get Salon style highlights from root to tip. Fast. Easy. Beautiful. For natural and color treated hair. In 3 universal shades. One of them yours. Only Revlon makes it. Only you make it unforgettable.”

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[kfvoice]

burdahgirl… You’re a natural.

Nice job!

Kathy

[Robert Broussard]

Burdahgirl, that was a perfect fit for your voice. The pace and were very good!!!!

[mkell755]

Hi Burdahgirl! Great read! Nice flow and smile in your voice. I could not tell that this is a struggle for you! It sounds nice and flows well. Good job!

Mary

[RYoung]

Sorry folks but Collen reminded me I had another take of this one I forgot about, had to put my music in, thanks for listening!
The Power of True
What do we mean when we say “the power of true”?
The core of it starts with curiosity. Because everything starts with curiosity. It’s the rocket fuel of creative ideas and bold thinking.
What does curiosity look like in action? It looks like what we do at Fleishman Hillard, every day.
When clients come to us, we embrace their challenges. We listen, we explore, we empathize, we learn. Insights and solutions bubble up from there…grounded in who we are as an agency and who we are as human beings: confident, honest, diverse, real . . . true.
This is our purpose – – to be bold . . . and to stay true. Our clients can do amazing things with that in this complex world. With our help, they can take risks, inspire, grow, break through, disrupt industries, and make a transformative impact on the world.
Pretty powerful, right?
Be Bold. Stay True.
This is what we mean by the Power of True.

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[chas82]

Very nice modulation and pacing start to finish. All of the lists were especially well done, each sounding different than the others. I’m always amazed at how just a little variance in inflection can produce great results. Good job sir !

[colleen]

Very nice,R! Your read was slower & the music was a perfect touch. Keep up the great work!

[RYoung]

Thanks to all for your feedback, much appreciated!

[kfvoice]

I like this version of the The Power of True script, RYoung! With the music, it sounds great!

I have a couple of minor suggestions for feedback.

When you say, “Pretty powerful, right?”, trying changing your pitch up with the word “right?”

The last two lines:
Be Bold. Stay True.
This is what we mean by the Power of True.

These sound like tags lines, and perhaps insert a longer pause between these lines, and “Pretty powerful, right?”

Just a couple of thoughts. Overall, a nice read!

Kathy

[Robert Broussard]

Hello, I like the read. I do think the background music was slightly louder than it should be and over shadowed your reading a little.

[mrtripo9]

Sounds very professional 👌

[mkell755]

Hi RYoung! Very good read and production! Nice pace and flow throughout. Your voice has a very nice warmth to it. Good pauses and emphasis on words. Great job!

Mary

[burdahgirl]

What a great read! I think you could give the lines “Be Bold. Stay True.” there are the end a little more differentiation since that’s the big takeaway. But great job, especially with all of those lists!

[svenbot5000]

Hey everyone! Here’s another practice read!

Freshii

At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

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[colleen]

This was a great read, svenbot! Energetic, confident, creative…

[reeyab]

I also love how clearly your enthusiasm for the material comes through! Awesome job! I would definitely recommend slowing down a bit, especially when you are listing the different bowl options. I also think a little more of a pause before the last sentence would be helpful to distinguish from the “pitch” part of the script to the tagline – giving the summation a bit more finality.

[kfvoice]

Good job, Sven!

I agree with our fellow VO members that your enthusiasm for the script came through the read, and your voice fits the script well.

My suggestion is to slow down your read just a tad, but not too much, and give more pause between your sentences.

I hope this helps!

Kathy

[mkell755]

Great job Svenbot! Good energy and enunciation throughout. I liked “pop of pineapple” with the strong “p” sounds. Good job!

Mary

[burdahgirl]

Great job! Your voice suits this read so well, and I would like to order a bowl now! My only comment would be an editing one – seems like there is a little noise between each line, but that’s easy enough to edit out. The read itself was stellar 🙂

[RYoung]

Very nice take on this style of restaurant script I like it. I especially like the pop description and emphasizing 1299, good take on this and thanks for sharing!

[katelyndawnvo]

Good evening folks. Well here is my first “narration” read. I start my training this week for narration. I am just flying by the seat of my pants on this one haha! Any feedback is appreciated.

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[katelyndawnvo]

Thanks for the positive feedback you guys 🙂

[Robert Broussard]

Kate, very good!!

[mkell755]

Hi Katelyn – nice read! Very clear and with good flow, and appropriate emphasized words. Good job!

Mary

[mrtripo9]

Great read , I can certainly learn from this

[RYoung]

I am using new equipment, finally got away from my USB mic. Tring out this Scarlett Solo Studio package 3rd generation, any comments are welcome!

The Power of True
What do we mean when we say “the power of true”?
The core of it starts with curiosity. Because everything starts with curiosity. It’s the rocket fuel of creative ideas and bold thinking.
What does curiosity look like in action? It looks like what we do at Fleishman Hillard, every day.
When clients come to us, we embrace their challenges. We listen, we explore, we empathize, we learn. Insights and solutions bubble up from there…grounded in who we are as an agency and who we are as human beings: confident, honest, diverse, real . . . true.
This is our purpose – – to be bold . . . and to stay true. Our clients can do amazing things with that in this complex world. With our help, they can take risks, inspire, grow, break through, disrupt industries, and make a transformative impact on the world.
Pretty powerful, right?
Be Bold. Stay True.
This is what we mean by the Power of True.

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[RYoung]

Thanks to all for your feedback!

[kfvoice]

Hi RYoung!

You have an easy listening style of voice — it was a nice read!

I, too, would echo some other comments here, and be mindful of tone, and upward pitch where not needed.

Kathy

[SuperLuke]

Awesome! I like the “go-with the flow” easy-going feel in your performance.

[mkell755]

Hi RYoung! Very nice! You have such a nice warm voice that is easy to listen to. Very good flow and pauses where needed throughout. Good job!

Mary

[svenbot5000]

Wow I love your voice! It’s perfect for something like this. I would recommend playing around with the tone and pace when you’re describing who human beings are to keep it from sounding flat. Great job!

[colleen]

R-
This is a well-written script…and I thought you sounded clear & professional and have a nice rich vocal tone. I thought the read was a bit fast and heard upward inflections on the word “curiosity” both times in line three and the word “true” at the end of line six, as well as elongations of other words that made it seem a bit choppy and not super-confident sounding. Looking forward to hearing your final version of this!
~colleen

[mrtripo9]

OK ! I thought I should give this a shot , This is CNN! James Earl Jones!
please take it easy on me if I ruined it..lol

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[reeyab]

I totally got the James Earl Jones vibe from this! Your pitch matches him quite well. I think your accent could be a great asset as well, it’s very unique (I have so much family in England but I’ve never heard anything quite like yours – such a cool sound). I agree that maybe working a bit more on getting the vowel sounds a little more distinct in the word “world” would strengthen this a lot. Other than that I thought it was great and you definitely didn’t ruin it!

• This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by reeyab. Reason: typo

[kfvoice]

Hi mrtripo9!

You didn’t ruin it! You have that deep tone like James Earl Jones — just with a British accent! I think with a little practice with the enunciation, you have a great voice for promo work!

Good job! I look forward to listening to more of your reads!

Kathy

[mrtripo9]

Thanks , I am focusing my training on enunciation /diction , thanks again Kathy

[SuperLuke]

I liked it. It was cool to hear James Earl Jones’s/ Darth Vader’s voice with a British accent. Judy keep practicing with what you want to enunciate better.

[mkell755]

Hi Mrtripo9! I like the deep warmth of your voice. I too had trouble understanding “world’s” but other than that it sounded great!

Mary

[colleen]

Beautiful rich voice & tone…but I also had trouble understanding your pronunciation of “world’s”.

[mrtripo9]

Thanks Colleen , am always on the look out for yr feedback here.

[katelyndawnvo]

Wow this is so fancy! Great bass tone in your voice. For a few plays I couldn’t understand “world’s” but I also don’t know how Mr. Earl Jones speaks. I’d love to hear more from you 🙂

[mrtripo9]

Thanks kate , I just hired a diction coach to help out….lol ,

[RYoung]

Is that your native British accent? If it is you should flout it, I would die for an English accent, maybe try some narration-story telling. Good luck and thanks for sharing that.

[mrtripo9]

Thanks RYoung, I appreciate the nice words. Yes ! its my natural accent , some people say its hard to understand my read. I am hiring a diction/accent coach to help out. What do you think?

[kfvoice]

Hi everyone! Upload of homework practice from the narration script library.

I noticed “aboard” did not come out very clearly in my read. What other feedback and critiques you got for me?

Thanks again!

Kathy

eLearning/Education

American Airlines

Welcome aboard American Airlines coast-to-coast service. We’ll be happy to do everything possible to make your flight with us a most pleasurable experience. We’ll provide you with all the information you need to know about your flight, your destination, and the equipment on which you are currently flying. In addition, we are proud to present our American Airlines feature film presentation, for our transcontinental passengers. We’d like you now to remove the plastic insert found directly in front of you in the seat back pocket. Please review the safety information during the flight for your own protection, in the unlikely event of an in-flight emergency.

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[mrtripo9]

Amazing read, this sounds like its ready for release, i totally agree with Robert, for a minute i felt i was in a plane. Good job

[Robert Broussard]

Wow, that was really good. You had me trying to buckle up in my chair here, lol.

[kfvoice]

Too kind, Robert, thank you!

[mkell755]

Hi Kathy! Good read. I too am hearing some nasalness, but it may just be your accent / normal speaking voice that is unique to you. Good pacing and enunciation on the script throughout. I realize this is in the elearning category, but you might try it with a little more smile and energy in your voice to lift up the passengers. I haven’t flown in awhile (crazy year!) but I always like hearing funny upbeat airline stewards/stewardesses – helps get the passenger’s attention to actually listen to the announcement vs. just tune them out.

Mary

[kfvoice]

I edited my entry, and then it didn’t submit the edit!

Anyway, about the nasal sound. I, too, noticed I sounded more nasally than normal yesterday. I do get congested in the colder months/spring time here in northern New England. I have a humidifier in the house downstairs (I do my recording in a bedroom upstairs), and use saline nasal mist sprays, but I may need to add another humidifier somewhere upstairs now that I am doing voiceover!

Kathy

[kfvoice]

Thank you, Mary! Noted!

I struggled with this one yesterday. I’d work on it for an hour, walk away for 10-15 minutes, and repeat. Must of been a few hours. I finally said, I have to stop for now, and uploaded the end result.

I agree, I like funny stewards/stewardesses. I went back and forth as to how to deliver this. To me this script falls under the announcer category (maybe it’s in there), so definitely, upbeat would of been best. Then the other side of me thought, “Is this for a trainer video?”. It still should sound more upbeat, though, so thanks again for the feedback!

Kathy

[mkell755]

Hi Kathy, sure, you are welcome! It’s a serious topic (life safety), but I think delivering serious messages in an upbeat way can make them more palatable? As long as it sounds professional in the delivery (which your voice does) it works. Thanks!

Mary

[RYoung]

I had this issue previously, sounds like your speaking with too much nasal sounding, instead try to speak from your diaphragm maybe. Otherwise your pacing and enunciation are very good!

[kfvoice]

Noted! Thank you, RYoung!

[svenbot5000]

Hey everyone! Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Posting another quick practice read. Let me know what you think!

McCholesterol

Come to McCholesterol’s and try our Triple Bacon and cheese Heart Attack Burger and triple fat fries! This Friday, for only fifty cents, at McCholesterol’s.
Eat for today, eat for the moment…
May as well, we’re all going to die soon anyways. Death by fast food, why not? …

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[SuperLuke]

Wow, I’m flattered to see that the spoof commercial I and my coach made for my demo reel has made it to another person at Edge. Nice enthusiasm and interpretation in the performance.

[mkell755]

Hi Svenbot! Good read! Way to get into the character and mood of the script! I could tell you were relaxed and smiling as you read it. Good inflection throughout – good job!

Mary

[katelyndawnvo]

Hi peeps! Here is a commercial read. Put together this script, any feedback is appreciated!

Sun B*m Hair Lightener is formulated to brighten your hair by amplifying the natural highlighting effects of the sun.
It’s infused with pineapples and lemons and has a hydrogen peroxide boost for faster results.
It smells like sunkissed summer, and does all the good things with none of the bad things.

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[Robert Broussard]

Good job writing the script and reading is also. Your voice is good fit for this.

[monibr16]

Wow this was great! you sound very relaxed. Pacing was very good. I agree great fit for your voice!

[colleen]

Hi, Katelyn-
Really nice job! Upbeat, confident, believable…your voice suits this kind of commercial!
~colleen

[mkell755]

Hi Katelyn – good read! I really like the tone and texture of your voice – good variation throughout. Your voice sounds well-suited for this type of commercial. Good job!

Mary

[SuperLuke]

I agree. You did a great job

[katelyndawnvo]

Thank you Mary!

[Author]

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