Feedback Forum
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Hi Forum! I’m doing some practice copy and I’d be glad for feedback on this commercial read. I don’t have a home setup yet, so I’m looking more for input on the performance than on the technical aspects of the recording. Thanks in advance!
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Hey there –
I am legit going to try to make these pops 🙂 Thanks. I liked your read and would suggest that you slow down just a tad to make it more conversational. I would also look to make more conversational sounding pauses. For example, after the intro question, there is no pause; it sounds like you go straight into the following sentence. There is also an unnatural sounding pause between “recipe” and “made”. And then you go straight from “cookies” into “these” where a pause may be a bit more conversational. I liked your tone and levity and thought the intro and closing were strong. FWIW I’ve been told to pretend that I’m talking to an old friend – and I even start my recordings with, “Well you know (name of person)” before I start to tape and then delete that initial part out of the recording.
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Hi everyone!
I’m looking for some feedback on two recent brief recordings (the one on digital retail is a redo of a previous post). Thanks in advance for your time and your comments.-
Hello, I listened to both your reads, the diction is great, but it doesn’t have the conversational tone to it. they both sound as if you are reading.
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Hey Tracy, Love these recordings. I would say the tone is right for the reads but you can lean significantly more into it. For example, in baking let yourself smile or even laugh a little. The script literally says “psychological benefits” so what would those psychological benefits genuinely feel like? Beyond that pace and diction was great and super easy to listen to.
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Hello Everyone, can I get some real candid critique of my narrations, As many critiques as possible. This will be greatly appreciated.
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Hey Keith, love this recording. Very smooth and alluring read. The only thing I would say is that at the ends of phrases some words are held out in a way that make it a little “too” alluring. What I mean by this is that at these moments the quality of your voice is more about how you sound rather than what you’re saying.
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Good Afternoon Keith!
I’d just like to start with I love your voice! It is very smooth and pleasant to listen to!
I’d say that it feels like there are some unnecessary pauses, such as “because…it’s not only about studying”. Pauses to me are used to emphasize the information you want the audience to remember, such as slowing down with X*X. However, with the sentence I highlighted, I only remember the “because” more than the slogan because the slow down puts emphasis on that.
Great job overall!
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Hey guys, I was curious if I could get some feedback on these two, especially regarding diction and pace. Also these being my first commercial and narration recordings, whether or not I’m getting a good grasp of the style and tone. The “A brief history” is the narration and the “Navy-pier” is my commercial. Thanks!
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Hello Rory, in the narration, at the beginning, everything before “daily lives” were difficult to understand. I thought the diction and pace was right on time.
On the commercial with “Navy Pier” it sounded like a narration more than a commercial. Probably some smiling would help change it some. Again the diction was great, i think the pace can be picked up a little for the commercial. -
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I Have just up loaded two new recordings one Commercial and narration. Please give feedback to know if I made any errors or not in diction and annunciation I would really appreciate it.
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Hey there Dillon – I like the ending to the 99ers recording and would suggest the beginning of the reading to be just a bit less charged and more empathetic for the subject (losing unemployment benefits). The second recording I thought it began well but the volume started getting lower towards the end of the recording which I don’t think was intentional. The pacing was also a bit fast and would suggest slowing down a little. I would also suggest that you make your statements more affirmative sounding as some of your statements sound as if you are asking a question because you end them higher in pitch. Eg. “we are all in the same boat”; and because boat is a bit higher it does not sound as convincing as it should.
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Hello Forum –
I’m hoping to get some additional feedback on some retakes that I have done. Thank you in advance.
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Hi Tracy,
I listenend to your original takes as well as this one and it’s definitely been an improvement! I could really hear the smile in your voice for the in both baking and retail. Personally I thought the pacing and tone for the first retail read was more appropriate, even if it wasn’t considered conversational. -
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Hello! Thank you to everyone who helped give me advice on my first read! This is my second attempt, so please let me know what I can approve on!
This time I tried doing it in my closet to get rid of some of that echo. On that note, for those of you who do use your closest as your workspace, how do you keep it from getting hot?
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Hi Emily. I really like the positive and enthusiastic read. Your confidence with the material makes me feel like I can learn to read music! I think “accompanying” could be more articulated. Maybe the “R” in “Reading” at the very top is drawn out a bit more than it needs to be?
I used a closet for a bit and moved on to a space with sound panels. That has been more comfortable. But the sound as compared to your last recording is MUCH better. Well done!
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Hello everyone. This is my first of likely many requests for feedback. I would like to request creative feedback only since I am not currently recording out if a studio. This is an AMC theater intro bumper and a documentary description. My issues are rushing and sometimes not fully pronouncing things like the word “to” and saying “tah”. Thanks in advance!
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Hi! For the AMC intro, I like the confident and informative beginning. It seems like it could pick up the pace and enthusiasm at “Movie fans can’t get enough…”. The new idea might be more enticing with an energy shift at that point. I also feel that the last few thoughts are a bit broken up. Maybe keeping the thoughts moving forward to the next idea would work.
For the Empire of Dreams documentary text, I also felt that you had a good tone of authority on the subject. One pattern that I noticed is the downward inflections at the ends of sentences. I think it works well when you sustain momentum between thoughts, as with “…small group from Cuba” into “then a larger one from Mexico.” Nice work!
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Hi there; posting these for feedback before my next class in Narration, from the Edge Narration scripts “Walgreens – New Team Members Voice Over Script” and “Sharks Voice Over Script”.
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Hi Matt!
I think your reads are spot on for pacing and diction, very well done!
With the tiger shark, something about the read made the tone of the piece unclear? I can’t put my finger on it, but listening to it i wasn’t sure how serious the danger was, if that makes any sense.
And the Walgreens piece, tone was perfect! I would say that– if I’m understanding conversationality correctly, that this sounded a bit announcer-y. Like this was a group onboarding rather than a one-on-one conversation.
I hope that’s helpful to you!
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