Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
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CreatorTopic
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AuthorReplies
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December 23, 2020 at 1:24 am #60218
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks for any feedback. Getting close to working on commercial demo.
Budweiser
I’m just a regular guy who wants the same things everybody else wants, food, family, shelter, friends, and plenty of ice cold Budweiser. Just not necessarily in that order.
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December 23, 2020 at 7:21 pm #60280
Official81
ParticipantOh Robert! This read made me interested in a Budweiser and I don’t even drink beer lol. Your voice and the accent you add are very authentic. You sound clear your pacing was brilliant and you definitely sounded as if you were speaking to a friend. Nice Job!
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December 23, 2020 at 10:23 pm #60292
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks!!
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December 23, 2020 at 12:03 pm #60248
mkell755
ParticipantHi Robert! I really liked this read for you, totally believable. I agree too with editing out the micro-pause after “guy”, would just be a smoother flow to complete the thought. Good emphasis on “ice cold Budweiser” too. Very good!
Mary
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December 25, 2020 at 12:11 am #60367
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks Mary
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December 23, 2020 at 3:59 am #60228
kfvoice
ParticipantRobert — Nice production! This had me chuckling, lol.
If you edit out the micro-pause after “guy”, and vary your pitch with the list, this would make the read flow smoother. Just my thoughts.
Kathy
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December 22, 2020 at 8:42 pm #60200
mkell755
ParticipantHello feedback friends! Here is a recording (on my phone) for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think. Thank you!
Mary
4/H
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands were not in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H sprouted roots. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders are not born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HEREAttachments:
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December 23, 2020 at 7:18 pm #60279
Official81
ParticipantGreat Job Mary! Sounded very nice and clear and I felt the pace and time were perfect for the script!
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December 23, 2020 at 10:31 am #60234
RYoung
ParticipantMary, you seem to have started off well in the first sentence, it sounded like your real voice and believable. This is obviously the goal and what we’re trying to do as voice actors believe me I struggle with this mightily. In your case simply speaking I would just be aware not to lift your pitch on the last word of your sentences it makes you sound sort of forced if that makes sense? You almost have to try and sound more boring than excited to get a believable read and one last thing I found was a roller coaster technique for inflecting if there’s no question in the sentence try and go up inflection early in the sentence and then down in the end, hope that helps.
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December 23, 2020 at 11:47 am #60235
mkell755
ParticipantHi RYoung, thanks for the feedback. I agree with not lifting pitch in general on the last word, so I will work on that. I have received a lot of comments on dialing up the energy, so trying to be mindful of doing that and not sounding boring; I tend to get monotone if not specifically thinking about making it sound conversational and varying pitch, but it needs to sound natural too. Thanks again, all good points!
Mary
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December 23, 2020 at 3:50 am #60227
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Mary! Good read! Nice enthusiasm, and pitch variation. Keep it up!
Kathy
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December 23, 2020 at 12:45 am #60215
Robert Broussard
ParticipantGood read Mary. Very consistent pace and tone. Have you ever thought about reading screen play scripts and acting out a character’s part? I had a voice coach in the spring and she had me play Stanly in “Street Car Named Desire”. Just a thought. If can be fun as well.
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December 22, 2020 at 3:43 pm #60192
Official81
ParticipantHello Feedback Friends! My name is Lexi and I am very new to the industry. I recorded practice scripts for AARP and Honey Bunches of Oats commercials on a NT1-A Rode Condensor Microphone that is connected to a Focusrite Scarlett Solo 3rd Generation 2i2o USB Audio Interface. Please let me know your thoughts and I thank you in advance. Happy Holidays.
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December 23, 2020 at 12:06 pm #60249
Eunice LaLanne
ParticipantHi Lexi! I must say – I just love the sound of your voice. Great job on both commercials – the volume and tone are great in both recordings. The only piece of constructive feedback I’d have to give is that I can audibly hear you take big breaths in the AARP recording (which can be distracting). If possible, come up with some breathing techniques that will help you take in the amount of air you need without us listeners “hearing” it. Looking forward to hearing your other recordings!!
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December 23, 2020 at 6:59 pm #60274
Official81
ParticipantThank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely work on my breathing techniques.
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December 23, 2020 at 3:45 am #60226
kfvoice
ParticipantWelcome Lexi! Very good first reads!
Nice job with the pitch in each one — in AARP, the pitch was subtle, yet warm and natural, while enthusiastic in the Honey Bunches of Oates read.
Sound quality was good — I, too, have a NT1-A Rode condenser mic (with Rode interface). I love it!
A few minor things to be mindful of: 1) I heard a couple of “lip smacks” between sentences in the first script, and 2) “Oats” in Honey Bunches of Oates seemed to lower in volume and tone.
A tip: Sometimes it is easier to give feedback when we can see the scripts to compare with your read.
Overall, keep it up! I hope my feedback is helpful!
Kathy
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December 23, 2020 at 7:04 pm #60277
Official81
ParticipantThank you so much Kathy my apologies for not adding the actual script wording. I will definitely do that moving forward. And also thank you for pointing out those mouth noises! I will also practice smoothing out my word transitions between sentences. I really appreciate this, so glad you mentioned it! It’s great to recognize so that no bad habits are formed. Very grateful for your feedback.
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December 22, 2020 at 8:47 pm #60202
mkell755
ParticipantHi Lexi! Welcome to the forum! I like your voice – very smooth, warm and friendly, and I like how you varied up the 2 scripts for a nice contrast between both. Good clarity and pacing for both scripts. Good enthusiasm on the Honey Bunches of Oats. Keep it up!
Mary
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December 23, 2020 at 7:03 pm #60275
Official81
Participant-
This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by
Official81.
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December 23, 2020 at 7:09 pm #60278
Official81
ParticipantHello Mary! And thank you so much for listening to my practice reads. Greatly appreciate your feedback, I am happy to hear that the read sounded nice and clear for you. And I was kind of worried about my pacing so thank you for commenting in that regard. I am really enjoying the forum as well so thank you much for the warm welcome!
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December 23, 2020 at 11:13 pm #60306
mkell755
ParticipantHi Lexi, you are welcome! Pacing is tricky, really depends on the script for me. I look forward to hearing more from you!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 3:08 pm #60190
gabecpotts@gmail.com
ParticipantAnother practice read for my commercial demo! This one is for GE, thanks for listening!
Everyone wakes up every morning to a world that must keep turning. Moving. Going. The world can’t stop, so neither can we. Because the things we make help make the world go round. We’re builders. Constantly creating things that make our world cleaner, healthier, and more connected. So that the small moments that help define who we are and the big plans that make life wonderful can keep on rolling. Here at General Electric, we’ll keep building a world that works.
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December 22, 2020 at 9:16 pm #60212
RYoung
ParticipantGabe, nice acting on this, sounds very believable! The audio needs work or maybe you just to close to the mic in the last sentence, anyway thanks for sharing that!
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December 22, 2020 at 8:52 pm #60203
mkell755
ParticipantHi Gabe! Great read! You have a nice warm voice and it was very clear and had great energy. I know this is for practice, but your said “everybody” instead of “everyone” for the first word, just something to be mindful of. I liked the emphasis on “builders”. You might want to emphasize “General Electric” just a little more as the product name, just a thought. Very nice!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 12:39 pm #60181
RYoung
ParticipantLooking to add to my commercial demo reel with “Nike” it seems short enough to hold listener’s ear. Appreciate any comments!
Nike
It’s a mindset. A focus. A deep seated spirit. It’s an inner strength to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, no matter what presses against you. It’s confidence. It’s belief. It’s a way of life. It’s Nike.Attachments:
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December 23, 2020 at 3:25 am #60225
kfvoice
ParticipantThis is really really good, R! I would not change a thing! Adding Nike to your demo reel would be a great idea!
Kathy
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December 22, 2020 at 8:54 pm #60204
mkell755
ParticipantHi RYoung! Very nice read and production! Sounded very professional. I too like the variation in the lists. Very good!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 6:13 pm #60196
Robert Broussard
ParticipantEverything was good except that last pause at end was a little long. Good work.
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December 22, 2020 at 1:34 pm #60187
gabecpotts@gmail.com
ParticipantI loved the way you varied the lists here, every piece sounded different and specific! I thought there was maybe just a little too long a pause at the comma after “planted firmly on the ground” which interrupted the flow of your read just a bit. But great job overall!!
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December 22, 2020 at 11:56 am #60172
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantMore Commercial Demo homework…this time, my reads are for Excedrin Migraine, which is supposed to be a super conversational tone, and Dewalt, more of a blue-collar tone. I also included some alternate takes on the tag line in the Dewalt read.
Any feedback on tone, clarity of intention, and pacing would be great. (Note: I tend to rush as a natural cadence, something all of my coaches have told me, and it’s something that we’re trying to work on.)
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December 23, 2020 at 3:21 am #60224
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Brian!
I like the enthusiasm and tone you brought to each read.
In the Dewalt script, halfway through/near the end, it did sound a little rushed — but as you mentioned, it is something you are working on. I think just a tad slower, and it would be good.
I listened to the tag lines multiple times, and I narrowed it down to the first and second, and finally went with the second. To me, the second one is the tone and delivery that sounds the best for the tag line — you highlight Dewalt, but then close out the read in a bit of a softer and natural tone. Just my thoughts.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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December 22, 2020 at 8:59 pm #60205
mkell755
ParticipantHi Brian! Good reads! I feel like the tone and pacing was very good for both reads. I liked the second tag line for Dewalt the best. Both reads were good, and I liked the conversational Dewalt tone a lot. I like how you stretched out “rain”, helped vary up that script and in effect slowed it down a little. Very good!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 12:33 pm #60179
RYoung
ParticipantI like the Dewalt read and the last take was the best with good enthusiasm!
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December 22, 2020 at 11:45 am #60169
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantCould use some feedback on this audition…2 takes, 2nd starts at :15…biggest difference is how I’m hitting the first sentence. Brief called for casual but professional, so I was treating this like having a conversation with Sam from Accounting in the break room.
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December 23, 2020 at 3:03 am #60223
kfvoice
ParticipantI agree with everyone — the second read was the one that captured the casual but professional tone.
Kathy
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December 22, 2020 at 9:02 pm #60206
mkell755
ParticipantHi Brian, I like this script for you. I too liked the second read of this script better. It sounded more conversational, like you were talking with a co-worker. Very good!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 12:37 pm #60180
Robert Broussard
ParticipantBrain, both were good. I prefer the 2nd reading. It flowed better and seemed more conversational. Good job!
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December 22, 2020 at 12:14 pm #60177
RYoung
ParticipantHi Brian, second take was much better, I think. Without the script it’s hard to break it down, but listening to the ending it kind of trailed off, if that makes sense? A lot of auditions are not written very well and the brands are relatively unknown so it takes a lot of imagination to create something intriguing. Love to hear more of your character work though,(Joker)!!
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December 22, 2020 at 10:21 am #60162
Robert Broussard
ParticipantAnother read from script library. Thanks for any feedback.
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December 23, 2020 at 2:56 am #60222
kfvoice
ParticipantI really like this, Robert! I, too, agree with Mary and Brian about the tone. I also echo that while the tone is good, give it a little more energy.
What stuck out to me, is that I liked how you delivered, and had emphasis, on the first “fresh”, “waves”, and “sea” at the end of the sentences.
I don’t know what the script had, but it sounded like there was too long of a pause between “Wind Drift” and “does that too you.” I think you were trying to billboard and highlight Wind Drift, since it is the product you are selling. If you take out the pause, it would flow in that part of the script better. After that, the pauses work, to me anyway, because that is the tag line.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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December 25, 2020 at 12:15 am #60368
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks, I will work on that. Appreciate it.
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December 22, 2020 at 9:04 pm #60207
mkell755
ParticipantHi Robert, good read! Very calming and soothing, as Brian mentioned. It sounds little bit muffled on my end, but I don’t yet have a full recording setup, so this is just an observation. Very good!
Mary
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December 23, 2020 at 12:50 am #60216
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks Mary, I appreciate your input. Yes you are right. There was a word muttled there at the end. Not sure why that happened.
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December 22, 2020 at 11:43 am #60168
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantI really love your tone, it’s very natural and calming; it has a great flow to it. That said, give more energy! Figure out which are the important words to hit, and make sure that they get the attention that the deserve. You don’t need to crank it to 11, especially with this read, but I would say give it a little more.
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December 22, 2020 at 12:15 pm #60178
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks Brian!
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December 22, 2020 at 12:27 am #60137
Robert Broussard
ParticipantStella Artois Beer
Of course Stella Artois tastes better than other beers. We’ve had over 600 years to get the recipe right. Since 1366 Stella Artois has been painstakingly brewed in a time honored tradition using the choicest ingredients which is why our customers have kept coming back for more even after 600 years. Stella Artois. Perfection has it’s price.
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December 22, 2020 at 9:06 pm #60208
mkell755
ParticipantHi Robert, good read! I read this one awhile back and I really like hearing the same read by different people. Good pacing and tone throughout. Very good!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 10:50 pm #60214
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks Mary!
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December 22, 2020 at 11:30 am #60167
RYoung
ParticipantRobert, I like this read it has passion to it! I agree with the pauses but you could edit those pretty easily. Great work and now I’m gonna go get a “Stella Artois”!
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December 22, 2020 at 12:50 pm #60183
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks and have one or two for me as well. 😎
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December 22, 2020 at 4:19 am #60159
kfvoice
ParticipantYour pacing was good. The third sentence was a bit of run on sentence, and it sounded better with some built in pauses. I know this is practice, however, just be mindful for an audition when it isn’t called for.
Kathy
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December 22, 2020 at 10:20 am #60161
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThanks Kathy, I was just reading the script form the library. That nade more difficult to do for sure. Thanks
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December 21, 2020 at 11:28 pm #60135
kfvoice
ParticipantHi everyone!
Here is a Documentary/eLearning/Internet Audio script (not from the library), that I put together for practice.
All feedback is appreciated.
Thanks, Kathy
Snowy Owls
Unlike many other owls, Snowy owls are not nocturnal, and can be seen hunting any time of the day or night. Consider yourself lucky if you spot one though, because these owls tend to inhabit places where humans don’t live.
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December 22, 2020 at 9:12 pm #60209
mkell755
ParticipantHi Kathy! Good job! I liked this read. The pace and clarity were good, but it did not flow as well as many I have heard from you, not sure how to pinpoint that. I heard an extra “at” after “hunting”. “Hunting” sounded more like “hunning” to me too, but I think it might sound unnatural if you over-enunciated it. Keep it up!
Mary
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December 22, 2020 at 12:04 pm #60175
BrianWigginsVO
ParticipantOK, so to kind of echo what Robert said, this really sound “read”. There were a lot of glottal stops and pauses that took the flow out of it, possibly from either over-enunciating words or trying to put too much emphasis on them. (I get called on this by my coaches on a regular basis, putting in pauses at places that don’t need them.)
In a few places, specifically “hunting” (sounded like “hunning”) and “consider” (sounded like “consinner”), the words were under-enunciated.
1) Try to make the read flow without the pauses and stops. (Don’t put commas in where there aren’t any, like between “day or night”.)
2) Who is this being read to? Why are you saying these words? Finding the intention will definitely help with the performance. (Believe me, I struggle with this constantly, it’s not easy, bu keep working at it!) -
December 22, 2020 at 12:31 am #60139
Robert Broussard
ParticipantHi, Not too bad. It did not seem as natural as most of your other reads. The script was good.
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