Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello and Happy almost New Year, good people! Here are three narration scripts with different tones I am trying out. I really appreciate the time and feedback.
All the best,
John
Animal Heroes
Not all heroes are human. Sometimes heroes bark, meow, or even grunt. They may be covered with fur, have curly tails, or live in an alley. We’re about to meet some real-life animal heroes. Each one of these heroes has performed an amazing rescue. Sometimes they even put themselves in danger to help others. We’ll meet a dog who rescues stray cats. A brave cat who saved her five kittens from a fire. A pig who got help for her owner who was having a heart attack. And a guide dog who led his owner down 71 flights of stairs when the World Trade Center was attacked.Crime Drama Narration
Some crimes committed are so undeniably gruesome that they defy logic and have people asking questions, forever more. The case of Katherine Knight did just that. A woman who not only murdered in cold blood but, then, went on to commit the most despicable act after the brutal slaying.Company Website Greeting
Meet Bob. Like 95% of car shoppers, he uses his computer, smartphone and tablet to shop for his next car. A few years ago, you could have reached Bob through traditional means such as Direct mail, TV or radio, and newspaper ads. Today, that simply isn’t enough.
According to Google – consumers visit 18 websites on average – before stepping into a dealership.-
Hi John!
Script 1: Nice pace. Clear enunciation. Good job on varying your pitch. Watch for trailing off in volume at the end of your sentences (noticed in the second one, the others were good). Be mindful of unnecessary pauses mid-sentence — this happened in your last sentence.
Second 2: Pick up the pace a little for this read. I understand you were going for a dramatic sound for the in-show narration, but to me there was too much stretching out with certain words, and unnecessary pausing.
Script 3: Good tone and enthusiastic read, and pitch variation.Overall, good job! Keep it up! I hope this was helpful!
Kathy
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Hi John, good reads! Good clarity, tone and pacing for each.
Script 1: The light tone of this suggests that it may be for a kid’s narration and it sounds really nice and friendly
Script 2: I like the more sinister tone here, well done. Some of the pauses were not at the commas however. There was a pause after “gruesome” but not after “questions”, and there was a pause after “blood” but not after “but” or “then”. I liked the emphasis on “…did just that”
Script 3: Very authentic read, more upbeat for a car add.
Overall great job!Mary
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Hello everyone, I have another three scripts for everyone to analyze and critique. As always, I pick the scripts I have the hardest time with to get the best feedback.
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Hi Dante!
Good reads! You have a nice warm, rich tone for these scripts.
Script 1: Good pacing; play around with ‘Thanksgrilling’ … you sounded a little close to the mic? Either way, this didn’t come out very clear to me.
Script 2: I thought this was your best read for a narration script. Nice pace, and clear enunciation. Try varying your pitch a little more in the last sentence with the lists.
Script 3: The enthusiasm was good. I would slow down a tad; practice the delivery in the third line (“No more paper bills!), since this line has an exclamation point!I hope this was helpful! Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi Dante! Good reads! Very good clarity, tone and pacing for all.
Script 1: Butterball – I like it! I smiled at the “Happy Thanksgrilling” line.
Script 2: B****r – Sounds good, with good emphasis on words to educate the listener.
Script 3: AMEX – this sounds great, great energy, this is my favorite of the 3 today.
Overall very good and with a nice warm sound!Mary
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Two different Allstate scripts one take on each. I appreciate any feedback. Thanks
Allstate Insurance – Discount
You never know for sure, but there’s this guy in the office that swears that HIS car insurance is the best, and tells everyone what a hot negotiator he is. So you ask him. “Did you get a discount for air bags, or anti-lock brakes? What about a discount for multiple cars?” Now he’s speechless. “Oh…one last thing. You want the name of my insurance company?” To help make sure you’re getting the auto insurance discount you deserve, talk to an Allstate insurance agent in your neighborhood. You’re in good hands with Allstate.Allstate Insurance – Agent
Go ahead… Make a wish… Now call your Allstate agent. Because today, planning makes wishes come true. And your Allstate agent can help make sure that “family security”, “college funding”, and even a “healthy retirement” are in the stars for you. Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life. You’re in good hands with Allstate Life Insurance.-
Hi Robert, good reads! Good tone and clarity throughout. Your voice sounds good for insurance.
Script 1: I too heard an extra word and an omitted word. The pace seemed just a tad bit rushed to me; I felt like there should have been a tiny pause after “…for multiple cars?” and also after “…my insurance company?” I liked the conversational tone of it and the variation in pitch, well done.
Script 2: Good energy, and I also heard an extra “you” in the third sentence. This was a nice friendly conversational read, also very good. Both reads were good!Mary
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Robert — nice job on the one takes! Good pacing, and I liked the varying tone with both reads, too.
Script 1: In the first sentence you omitted and added a word. A tip I try to do is look a few words in advance of what I am reading; less likely to miss a word.
Script 2: I noticed added words in the third sentence. In the last sentence, your volume/tone sounded like it lowered. Maybe it was on my end. Overall, this read had a nice enthusiasm to it. I actually liked this script read the best.
I hope this was helpful!
Kathy
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Hello all and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays all!
Here is a read for your review (recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. I just went to the eye doctor, so my eye prescription was on my mind. I’m trying for an authentic, believable vibe, let me know if you think it sounds appropriate in tone and delivery for the topic. Thank you!
Mary
Essilor
There’s nothing as unique as our eyes. Which is why Essilor pioneers ways to make lenses as unique as you. Varilux for super-sharp vision, Essential Blue for protection, and Crizal for freedom from glare. Three cutting-edge solutions in a single unique lens. So, whatever your needs, insist on Essilor. Visit your local Essilor experts and find the perfect lens for you. See more, do more, Essilor.-
Hi Mary!
Nice job on varying your pitch, especially with the lists (the three cutting edge solutions). The pacing was good, too, however, there was a pause after “Varilux” not needed. Keep it up!
Kathy
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Merry Xmas! I recorded 2 more practice scripts for your appreciated feedback. I finally just got into my studio and rerecorded these takes. Thank You Mary and Kathy for trying to help me with converting my files. First Movie Script Lord of the Rings Opening Monologue, which I gave 2 different takes. Please let me know which one sounds best. Second Advil commercial. Script wording follows:
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.
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Hi Official81, You have a very sumptuous quality to your voice which works very well with the opening monologue of “Lord of the Rings” (and I agree with others that the first take is the more immersive, pleasing read of the two you posted—I definitely stopped reading along and just shut my eyes to listen). As far as the Advil spot, again, great quality to your read, just perhaps slow down a bit and try being a bit more conversational in how you convey the the script. It feels a bit like a run-on sentence when you should give yourself—and the listener—the luxury of being totally engaged in hearing all you have to say about the product. Great work!
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I agree, the first Lord of the Rings script was the better of the two — it had more of a character narration sound to it vs. the second read.
The Advil script had a nice pace. However, be mindful of sounding breathy between sentences.
I hope this was helpful.
Kathy
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Official81, I agree with Mary that the 1st version was better. You put a lot of character into the story telling and did well doing it.
The advil read was good as well.
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Hi Official81, glad you were able to upload! I like script one read the best – it sounds really dark and mysterious, and very interesting to listen to; really draws you in with lots of variation in tone and stretched out words every once in awhile. The second read was ok, but seemed more like it was being read vs. telling the story.
Advil was a good read as well but now I want to hear more mysterious story-telling monologues! Good job with all of these!
Mary
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Hello there. Here is a corporate explainer narration. Any feedback is appreciated! I need to try and be less “bubbly” and “perky” for corporate so I’m trying to sound more straightforward. Feedback is appreciated. Merry Christmas everyone!!! WE MADE IT – 2021 here we come.
Business Management Software – Corporate Explainer
Your online business is growing. That’s a good thing. But as orders increase, so do the bottlenecks in business processes.
To keep growing, you need to do a better job at managing inventory, processing & fulfilling orders and keeping your customers happy – all while expanding into new channels. That’s where business management software comes into play.-
Hi Katelyn,
I didn’t think you were perky or bubbly; had enough energy to the read to sound informative. Nice pacing, as well. Good read!
Kathy
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Hi Katelyn! Good read! Very direct but friendly and very clear enunciation, I think this is a good genre for you! It did not sound bubbly or perky to me, just upbeat, straightforward and concerned with educating the listener. Good job!
Mary
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Merry Christmas fellow VO actors! Thought I’d share a read I just did for a Pendelton Whiskey demo. Feedback always welcome!
Hope you all have an amazing holiday and are looking forward to a safe and healthy new year!
~RichPENDLETON WHISKEY
The Pendleton Whiskey portfolio, born in the Great Northwest, is a collection of premium spirits whose popularity has grown far beyond its territory of origin. When your history is tied to the Pendleton Round-Up, one of the oldest and most prestigious rodeos in the West, there’s a lot to live up to. Authenticity and quality are more than words on a label. Today, Pendleton Whiskey carries with its name a call to live life to its fullest – savoring adventure, camaraderie and the moments we keep as memories. It’s a distinction we’re proud to have earned. -
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Merry Xmas Eve All! I recorded 2 more practice scripts for your appreciated feedback. This time recordings were done on my phone outside of my studio. First Movie Script Lord of the Rings Opening Monologue, which I gave 2 different takes. Please let me know which one sound best. Second Advil commercial. Script wording follows:
It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all.
Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.
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I tried to upload recordings from my phone through the Voice Record app on iPhone and none of them came through properly. If anyone has any idea how I can upload using these methods please help. Otherwise I will get this figured out. I shall return!
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I used this app on my iPhone when I started out. What I did was I emailed the file (mp3) to myself, saved the file to my computer, and then uploaded to the website. It’s not a direct upload, I know, but I did not have any issues.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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To tag on to what Mary mentioned… this is what steps I took for the iPhone app:
1) Click on the voice recording from your app; you will see a bunch of options. (I’ve attached an image if this helps.)
2) When you choose “send as email”, the next prompt will be if you want to send the file as an “audio” or “movie”. Send as audio.
3) Last step… pick “email attachment”, and enter your address.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hi all! I am giving it another go, and trying another wildlife read — this time with Flying Squirrels.
Appreciate any feedback, but, I am specifically looking for feedback on pacing and pitch. More emphasis on northern flying squirrels is probably needed?
I am aware that “but”, “distances”, and “this” didn’t come out clearly. (Any others?)This is my last audio upload for the week, as I will be taking a little break, but I will be back later in the weekend to give feedback.
To those who celebrate, I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
Kathy
Flying Squirrel
(Nature on PBS: How the Flying Squirrel Soars)
A nocturnal member of the squirrel family searches for fungi, its favorite food. But fungi are spread in random patches throughout the forest and the squirrel has to cover large distances to find them. So this squirrel has evolved a special talent – it flies! The northern flying squirrel is just six inches long and weighs the same as a typical smartphone. Yet it can leap almost 150 feet between trees.
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Hi Kathy – great read! This is one of the best reads I have heard from you! It flowed very well, was relaxed and also conversational, which made it fun to listen to and be educated by. And now I am picturing a smartphone-sized squirrel flying through the air 🙂 I liked the pacing and pitch throughout, very good!
Merry Christmas, we’ll see you when you get back.
Mary
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Nice work on this documentary style read! I think you were able to hold at least in my opinion the listeners attention well and additionally I could hear your smile in this as well, thanks for sharing this and good luck!
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