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Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
This topic was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by David Goldberg.
Hi everyone! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone, please bear with me) for any and all feedback. This is a very different sort of read for me, not sure if it is a good fit. I’ve heard it read a couple of different ways so far by others who had a different take on it. The script itself really drew me in and really gave me an interesting visual during the read. I don’t know how to edit yet, so please excuse the loud click at the end. Let me know what you think!
Mary
I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try to help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already racing heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
You defiantly did a great job varying your tone and pitch! I can see why you went for a teasing/taunting delivery. It makes sense, however, to echo Alexis, try adding a little more meanness and sarcastic tone to your delivery. Make sense?
Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback. Yes, totally makes sense to try for more meanness and a more sarcastic tone: I will try again soon. For some reason I can sound sarcastic easier than sounding mean. Thanks again!
Hi Mary, Good job with your pace and clarity. You had some nice pitch variation to keep things interesting. One comment that I have might sound a bit weird, but, you sound almost too friendly 🙂 In the script these are stressful, awful feelings like tight chest and racing heart and as the voice of the anxiety that is causing all these symptoms, I might expect you to sound more mean about being the one who is causing them. It could be a fun take to try to be more mean-spirited and have that kind of tension in the read, just an idea.
Thanks for the feedback Alexis! I was wondering how it came off (friendly vs. menacing / mean). I will work on this one again. I was visualizing anxiety in this case as a teasing taunting sort of vibe, like a voice that you can’t get out of your head and what would that sound like. Thanks again! Very helpful.
Hello everyone! Wow, pretty slick new interface on the Feedback Forum! Just getting back into the saddle after a bit of a hiatus and what better subject than a little spiel for Jack Daniels whiskey:
—-
Here in Lynchburg, Tennessee you can still pause on a Sunday walk to talk to your
neighbors about the lack of rain in the mountains and lack of sense in Washington.
You can still pick enough wild blueberries to fill a bucket on a lazy summer afternoon,
—though I’ll wager more of ’em end up in your belly than in your bucket.
And when the sun hits it just right, you can still see the old tin roof of the distillery
where Jack Daniel made his world-renowned whiskey.
Like everything here, we still make our whiskey in a slow and unhurried fashion, just like ole Jack did back in 1866.
One sip and you’ll be glad to know we still take our time when we make our whiskey.
Jack Daniels…smooth sipping Tennessee whiskey.
—
Raw, at-home recording. Trying for a natural, folksy read leaning into my natural accent (which I usually try to squelch!) All feedback is welcome, thanks for taking the time to listen!
Hi Rogue 1 – Really nice! I really love your smooth easy-flowing drawl – it really suits this script! I like how you stretched out certain words out like “pause”, “lazy”, “just”, and “smooth”. Nice and unhurried and painted a nice visual of the commercial. Really nice read!
I’ve recently started exploring VO and heading down the path of narration. Hoping for some feedback on my first assignment as I continue working toward a demo. I appreciate any tips, advice, thoughts!
History Channel – Ancient Aliens Script
Is the U.S. Government covering up the truth about alien contact…and if so, why.
Could the government have a secret agenda… one known to only a select few… and perhaps dating back hundreds of years.
On Dec 16, 2017….The New York Times ran an explosive story…. entitled “Glowing Auras and Black Money: ….The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program…. It was the first time the American public learned of a top-secret US government project… the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program otherwise known as AATIP.
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Tax Fundamentals
On this episode, we’re talking about: Deductions
So let’s say you’re single with a job as a lion tamer. You live alone, have no dependents, and your yearly income is eighty eight thousand dollars.
You have two choices when it comes to deductions: You can itemize your deductions, or take the standard deduction.
The lion food is an example of an itemized deduction. You can claim multiple itemized deductions but there are limits for each tax bracket and rules around each deduction.
The standard deduction is a fixed amount associated with your filing status and tax bracket. If you don’t want to add up all your expenses, the IRS allows you to just take the standard deduction. If your itemized deductions don’t add up to a lot, taking the standard deduction instead can often save you more money on your taxes.
So that’s the skinny of Tax Deductions. Want to learn more, CTA. Thanks for watching Tax Fundamentals.
These sound like they could be out there right now! You defiantly have the voice for narration, so you are going down the right road. I ditto what Mary said, the Tax reading sounded authentic, but all three were very good first posts! Keep it up!
Hi BBaranek! Welcome! All three of these scripts were very nice and clear with good pacing and enunciation. Your voice seems really well-suited for narration – not too over the top but with a nice variation in emphasized words throughout all of the reads which made for interesting listening. All 3 were good, but I feel like the one on taxes was the best of these 3. That read sounded the most natural and authentic to you. Very good!
Hello friends! Here is a recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Enough energy? not enough energy? Authentic? Let me hear what you think. Thanks!
Mary
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It’s a good read Mary! You definitely sound authentic to me. I have one comment I’d like to put out there for you and others that is not so much about your read as it is about commercial reads in general and how to approach them. I keep hearing that “conversational”, “person next door” reads are the way to go. But I listened to a number of actual commercials yesterday on the ispottv website, and noticed that, to me anyway, there appear to be a number that really don’t sound all that “conversational”. Car commercials especially stood out, but there were others, like a “scrubbing bubbles” toilet cleaner commercial, that sounds very “charactery” (sorry if that’s not a great descriptive). So it just leaves me struggling a bit as to when we should be going “natural”, versus maybe a bit charactery/over-the-top? I guess it all depends on what the piece’s/client’s direction is? Would love to hear what others think. T
This is a great point, Toque. While I am not doing commercial at the moment, I don’t hear the conversational/natural sound in many commercials I hear, either. It’s all pretty announcer-y and energetic (character, as you say). The only exceptions I can think of is the Sam Elliott (Coors, Dodge, etc.) style commercials.
I am in narration at the moment, and I hear the conversational approach, as well. It makes more sense, but I do struggle with “vision your audience”.
Hi Toque, thanks for the feedback. Yeah for sounding more authentic! I’ve been working on that.
I too keep hearing about how we should sound more and more conversational, and to have a very specific listener in mind. I agree that there are so many quirky commercials with characters out there lately. I do think it depends on your audience, like who are you trying to convince to buy or do something? Is it a friend? A mentee? a Co-worker? A family member? Good questions. Thanks again!
Hi there! Here is a piece I will be working on with my coach for my narration demo. This piece is EXTREMELY important to me and thought I would practice it and post it. I’m really trying to sound more spontaneous and conversational so I have a specific listener in mind and I want to help listeners of this “women’s history” documentary understand how they should FEEL about what they are hearing. Some excitement, some frustration over the limitations women had to live with. ANYWAYS any feedback is appreciated. I hope I”m able to convey what I want to.
Hi Katelyn! Nice work, this is definitely in your wheelhouse. You sound genuinely interested in the topic, and your voice is clear and the message strong. Good work!
I promise, this is the last car commercial for a while then it’s onto different Commercial sub-genres. In general, the more I practice these, the more connected I feel to the copy – funny how that works out! However, there is what I hear and feel that may be different than what you as the audience hears. Thanks in advance for your feedback.
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Hi Chas! I really like car commercials for your voice, great genre. Great pacing, emphasized words and pauses throughout. The “Find new roads” had an uncertain-sound to it, my take on the commercial is that you are encouraging people to explore and try new things (allegedly, a Silverado!), so that should sound more decisive / authoritative, which would also match the rest of the tone of the script. Very good!
Nice pacing with the read, and your tone and pitch, I felt, were good.
Audio quality: The read sounded like it didn’t flow together; not natural in some spots — like the sentences were spliced together, as opposed to the extra length between sentences cut out. What am I hearing?
Ok, I originally nested this under another user’s post and I’m afraid it may get buried (and many apologies for Bil-Bo for hijacking his thread). At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.
ASPCA As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.
I Am Anxiety I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.
National MS Society One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.
Hello again Reeyab! You have inspired me to try the “I am Anxiety” read. I would love to know what you think about it! There seem to be so many ways to read this one. Thank you!
Thanks Reeyab! It is very tricky, more so than I would have thought. I will try again one of these days. Your take on it was definitely more accusatory than mine, just so many ways to interpret. Really somewhat mind-bending
Hi Reeyab, very nice reads! They all sounded well-paced and very clear. I like how you were able to vary your tone depending on the reads and the mood of the piece for each one. I did not hear dipping down at the end of sentences.
Script 1: Good conversational tone, felt like I was talking with a friend who wanted to help me quit smoking.
Script 2: Very good tone and emotion, softer and appropriate for the topic.
Script 3: Good read. The tone sounded a little on the angry side vs. the “anxiety / crazy” tone, just my opinion on how anxiety sounds, and I believe it could sound different to everyone. I like your direct interpretation.
Script 4: Good read
Really good job in changing your tone in each read!
Script 1: Perhaps raise your tone and pitch on American Cancer Society?
Script 2: I noticed you dipped in tone at the end of “Something else happens.” Just a tad. It was still clear, to me. Be mindful of pausing mid-sentence, not in the script. (These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.)
Script 3: Nice work!
Script 4: Slight micro pause in first sentence. Minor.
Tried my best to give feedback since your recordings are only coming through on the left side.
On the snow front, the mid to southern Green Mountains got walloped as well! I am more north, but we’ll get it soon enough. Good day to stay in!
USPS Identity Theft PSA The US Postal Service wants to remind everyone this year to protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox–and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers,or account numbers. To learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw.
My comment is to be mindful of sounding “breathy” between words or sentences. I am not sure if I commented on one of your other posts about this before.
On an audio note, I could only hear your recording in my left earpiece. At first I thought is was on my end, but I can hear others on here just fine. Thought I would mention it.
It’s the season to add a little warmth to life out here.
And though the past year’s been an unexpected one,
all 38,000 of us are ready to help you make the most of
this…all with everything you need at everyday low prices, so
you can take care of the ones that count on you…prepare
for those shorter days and cooler nights and sit back and warm
up to more family time. Prepare together. Enjoy together.
Stronger together. Tractor Supply.
Hi Bil-Bo – loved it! Your voice is really warm and approachable and very well-suited to this genre. This sounds like it is already on the radio – very good!
Gah, I submitted a post a little while ago and then edited it and it seems to have vanished. Many apologies if this turns out to be a double-post. At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.
ASPCA As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.
I Am Anxiety I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.
National MS Society One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.
ANNNND I nested this under the wrong post. My apologies to Bil-Bo.
But while I’m here – Bil-Bo, I love your voice! It is perfect for this copy. Great diction, nice pacing, and if that’s your natural accent it works wonderfully. And if it’s not – dang, that’s a great accent you can do! Nice job. I loved the music underneath as well. I can definitely envision hearing this on the radio.
I thought it sounded great Bil-Bo. Awesome strong, deep voice. Great enunciation and variance in intonation where appropriate. Sounds very professional to me, like a community/family man who owns a tractor. Toque
I’ve got two for you tonight. I am trying to pick what Biography I want to include on my demo. Actually, I pretty much already decided, but curious to see the choice you all think.
It’s Maureen O’Hara vs. Grace Kelly … which is funny, because if you ever saw the made for TV movie with Ms. O’Hara, Cab to Canada — one of her last acting roles, by the way — Ms. Kelly plays a “supporting” role in the plot.
Anyway, both great actresses, and among my all-time favorites. The delivery is different for each one — and I am still working to nail it down, as well as the audio.
Which classic actress will it be?
Any tips, and all feedback, is appreciated!
Kathy
Biography: Maureen O’Hara
Irish-born actress, Maureen O’Hara, was billed alongside Hollywood’s leading men in many features of the 1940s. O’Hara went on to further fame starring in the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street, in 1947. In 1961, she appeared in one of her most famous films, The Parent Trap, alongside a young Hayley Mills.
Biography: Grace Kelly
Grace Kelly was an award-winning American film actress of the 1950’s, turned Princess, and forever style icon.
In April 1956, Grace would leave Hollywood behind to become Princess Grace of Monaco.
Tragically killed in a car crash in September 1982, the Grace Kelly style — white-gloved ingénue, elegant goddess, and passionate s****l romantic — is everlasting, and still inspires fashions to this day.
Hi Kathy! Both reads are good, but I prefer Grace Kelly too – felt smoother and more natural and relaxed, and the tone seemed a touch softer too. Very good!
I agree with the others who say that the Grace Kelly read was better – very smooth, and measured while keeping the listener’s interest. Nice work! The Maureen O’Hara one was a bit stiffer, and made the copy feel a bit dry, but I think if you relaxed a little more it would translate better and be just as engaging as the Grace Kelly copy.