Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I promise, this is the last car commercial for a while then it’s onto different Commercial sub-genres. In general, the more I practice these, the more connected I feel to the copy – funny how that works out! However, there is what I hear and feel that may be different than what you as the audience hears. Thanks in advance for your feedback.
Silverado
The all new Silverado HD adds to the legendary capability of the strongest, most advanced Silverados ever. With best in-class camera technology and larger, more functional beds than any competitor, the only truck that can compare to a Silverado, is another Silverado.
Truck month is the right time to get behind the wheel of a Chevy Silverado. Get zero percent financing for 72 months, plus five hundred dollars cash allowance on all Silverado 1500 crew cab pickups. Montclair NJ drives Chevy. Find new roads.
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Hi Chas! I really like car commercials for your voice, great genre. Great pacing, emphasized words and pauses throughout. The “Find new roads” had an uncertain-sound to it, my take on the commercial is that you are encouraging people to explore and try new things (allegedly, a Silverado!), so that should sound more decisive / authoritative, which would also match the rest of the tone of the script. Very good!
Mary
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Ok, I originally nested this under another user’s post and I’m afraid it may get buried (and many apologies for Bil-Bo for hijacking his thread). At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.-
Hello again Reeyab! You have inspired me to try the “I am Anxiety” read. I would love to know what you think about it! There seem to be so many ways to read this one. Thank you!
Mary
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Hi Reeyab, very nice reads! They all sounded well-paced and very clear. I like how you were able to vary your tone depending on the reads and the mood of the piece for each one. I did not hear dipping down at the end of sentences.
Script 1: Good conversational tone, felt like I was talking with a friend who wanted to help me quit smoking.
Script 2: Very good tone and emotion, softer and appropriate for the topic.
Script 3: Good read. The tone sounded a little on the angry side vs. the “anxiety / crazy” tone, just my opinion on how anxiety sounds, and I believe it could sound different to everyone. I like your direct interpretation.
Script 4: Good readOverall really good job!
Mary
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Hi reeyab!
Really good job in changing your tone in each read!
Script 1: Perhaps raise your tone and pitch on American Cancer Society?
Script 2: I noticed you dipped in tone at the end of “Something else happens.” Just a tad. It was still clear, to me. Be mindful of pausing mid-sentence, not in the script. (These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.)
Script 3: Nice work!
Script 4: Slight micro pause in first sentence. Minor.
Tried my best to give feedback since your recordings are only coming through on the left side.
On the snow front, the mid to southern Green Mountains got walloped as well! I am more north, but we’ll get it soon enough. Good day to stay in!
Keep it up!
Kathy
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One more PSA today for the heck of it!
USPS Identity Theft PSA
The US Postal Service wants to remind everyone this year to protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox–and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers,or account numbers. To learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw.-
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Nice job, reeyab!
My comment is to be mindful of sounding “breathy” between words or sentences. I am not sure if I commented on one of your other posts about this before.
On an audio note, I could only hear your recording in my left earpiece. At first I thought is was on my end, but I can hear others on here just fine. Thought I would mention it.
Kathy
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‘’Tractor Supply Company’’
It’s the season to add a little warmth to life out here.
And though the past year’s been an unexpected one,
all 38,000 of us are ready to help you make the most of
this…all with everything you need at everyday low prices, so
you can take care of the ones that count on you…prepare
for those shorter days and cooler nights and sit back and warm
up to more family time. Prepare together. Enjoy together.
Stronger together. Tractor Supply.-
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Gah, I submitted a post a little while ago and then edited it and it seems to have vanished. Many apologies if this turns out to be a double-post. At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.-
ANNNND I nested this under the wrong post. My apologies to Bil-Bo.
But while I’m here – Bil-Bo, I love your voice! It is perfect for this copy. Great diction, nice pacing, and if that’s your natural accent it works wonderfully. And if it’s not – dang, that’s a great accent you can do! Nice job. I loved the music underneath as well. I can definitely envision hearing this on the radio.
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I’ve got two for you tonight. I am trying to pick what Biography I want to include on my demo. Actually, I pretty much already decided, but curious to see the choice you all think.
It’s Maureen O’Hara vs. Grace Kelly … which is funny, because if you ever saw the made for TV movie with Ms. O’Hara, Cab to Canada — one of her last acting roles, by the way — Ms. Kelly plays a “supporting” role in the plot.
Anyway, both great actresses, and among my all-time favorites. The delivery is different for each one — and I am still working to nail it down, as well as the audio.
Which classic actress will it be?
Any tips, and all feedback, is appreciated!
Kathy
Biography: Maureen O’Hara
Irish-born actress, Maureen O’Hara, was billed alongside Hollywood’s leading men in many features of the 1940s. O’Hara went on to further fame starring in the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street, in 1947. In 1961, she appeared in one of her most famous films, The Parent Trap, alongside a young Hayley Mills.
Biography: Grace Kelly
Grace Kelly was an award-winning American film actress of the 1950’s, turned Princess, and forever style icon.
In April 1956, Grace would leave Hollywood behind to become Princess Grace of Monaco.
Tragically killed in a car crash in September 1982, the Grace Kelly style — white-gloved ingénue, elegant goddess, and passionate s****l romantic — is everlasting, and still inspires fashions to this day.
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Hi Kathy! Both reads are good, but I prefer Grace Kelly too – felt smoother and more natural and relaxed, and the tone seemed a touch softer too. Very good!
Mary
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I agree with the others who say that the Grace Kelly read was better – very smooth, and measured while keeping the listener’s interest. Nice work! The Maureen O’Hara one was a bit stiffer, and made the copy feel a bit dry, but I think if you relaxed a little more it would translate better and be just as engaging as the Grace Kelly copy.
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I agree with Robert. Second one sounded much better, both in terms of your voice and the overall audio quality. Great job! Toque
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The second recording was better in my opinion. Both had good pacing etc. But your voice was much better in the Grace Kelly recording. Hope this helps.
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Hello everybody. This is the first time I’ve posted on the updated Feedback Forum. Please feel free to provide feedback on my performace and recording quality.
Crayola Markers
Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often … In more places … with less mess.
Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.-
Hi Erik. I liked it as well. Great voice, tone, pacing, etc. The only, very minor thing that stood out to me a bit was that, to my ear, the word “creativity” felt the tiniest bit over-enunciated. I know finding that balance, between good enunciation and sounding natural/conversational, can be a tough one. Overall, great read! Toque
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I’m very early into my Commercial training and am trying to apply my coach’s comments after Lesson #1 to this and future reads. Some of those are: have a point of view, be connected to the copy, be conversational and engaging and don’t present, – talk. I’m also getting closer to creating a good recording environment at home but not there yet so forgive the typical newbie tech issues. Appreciate any and all feedback.
Audi
Why did we need to go to the moon? To make footprints in the dust? No, it was to make the unreachable reachable, to inspire people everywhere to do what couldn’t be done. At Audi, it inspired us too. The countdown has begun to put Quattro through its toughest test: the moon’s surface. With the technology that took on the Earth’s elements, we’ll drive in the footsteps of those first astronauts, pushing our knowledge forward. Why do we need to go to the moon? We don’t, we choose to do it, because now, maybe more than ever, choosing the moon brings out the best in us.
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This is great! I honestly think car commercials can be super challenging, as they tend to be a bit grandiose (and almost melodramatic) for what they are advertising. (Given the season, we’re being bombarded with those “a car is a great Xmas gift for your spouse” commercials and they are driving my SO insane, haha.) Your voice is a perfect match for the sort of “this is bigger than a car” premise of the spot, and I loved your pacing. Awesome job!
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Hi again all. A couple of comparatively different pieces today. Honest feedback is appreciated, and thanks so much to all who have commented on yesterday’s post!
Allstate script: Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can
afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?Pier 1 Sale script: Hi, my name is Ron and for the next two weeks, I’ll be saying the word “and” a lot and I’m
pretty sure it’s because the Pier 1 Sale is going on now and it will end on January 10 and
yeah, that’s soon, scary, and I know that you can come to your local Pier 1 store to save up
to 50%, and sometimes more, on yummy scented candles and cool upholstered chairs and
really pretty mirrors and colorful pillows that are so, so cute and bedroom furniture that is
like real legitimate wood and oh, and this storage ottoman that is CHEETAH and how cool
is it that it’s CHEETAH and I really want it and I’m probably going to get it and maybe some
of that super cool dinnerware and maybe some new barstools for my new place AND some
bookshelves because I have a ton of books and little sparkly things and I really just want
my place to look nice, so why wouldn’t I get it before January 10 while it’s up to 50% off at
the Pier 1 Sale and is that a harp sound? I like harps-
Kudos to both performances!
The Pier 1 ad is super-intimidatingly long. You did a great job and I don’t envy you haha. It might take a few more runs than it’s worth, but if I were you I’d try jam packing as quickly as you can through it, a bit to the point of absurdity. Then when you slow it back down a bit, you can navigate it real quick. I just imagine that if this were say a radio ad, you might have to stuff the entire ad into a tiny timeslot. proportionally this one is tough. Not saying you did anything wrong, just a ‘variation’ I’d have up my sleeve if this is a situation you think you might find yourself in later
kind regards,
Alex -
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Hi Toque, great reads! Allstate was good – very straightforward and comfortable / authentic. Pier 1 was totally cracking me up! I could really hear the smile in your voice and the inflections were all over the place (in a good way, especially for this script), which made it really fun to listen to as the story was being told. I think too for this script which is basically a run-on sentence, your choice of where to take breaths seemed very natural as well. Really nice work! Loved it.
Mary
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I thought both were very well done. The tone you chose for the Allstate was great conversational – it made me feel like we were friends and you were giving me solid advice based on personal experience.
Pier 1 was a killer! It felt like I was listening to a performance with 3-4 different and distinct characters. You seamlessly moved from one to another, bringing up the level of energy and amazement each time. Great choice of key words and phrases to emphasize and the variations you used to differentiate the contents of the list in the middle of the script were textbook to my ears. If there were any technical mistakes, I didn’t hear them because I was drawn into the story you were telling. Bravo!
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Thank you I appreciate the positive feedback! I have a coaching session today so I will see what my coach mentions about genres and niches my voice fits. I may be over thinking it but I’m so concerned with where to market myself as I don’t want to market myself in an area I don’t fit because that is like just bashing your head into a wall LOL
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