Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
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December 17, 2020 at 12:54 pm #59927
reeyab
ParticipantOk, I originally nested this under another user’s post and I’m afraid it may get buried (and many apologies for Bil-Bo for hijacking his thread). At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.Attachments:
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December 18, 2020 at 7:31 pm #59987
mkell755
ParticipantHello again Reeyab! You have inspired me to try the “I am Anxiety” read. I would love to know what you think about it! There seem to be so many ways to read this one. Thank you!
Mary
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December 17, 2020 at 11:54 pm #59955
mkell755
ParticipantHi Reeyab, very nice reads! They all sounded well-paced and very clear. I like how you were able to vary your tone depending on the reads and the mood of the piece for each one. I did not hear dipping down at the end of sentences.
Script 1: Good conversational tone, felt like I was talking with a friend who wanted to help me quit smoking.
Script 2: Very good tone and emotion, softer and appropriate for the topic.
Script 3: Good read. The tone sounded a little on the angry side vs. the “anxiety / crazy” tone, just my opinion on how anxiety sounds, and I believe it could sound different to everyone. I like your direct interpretation.
Script 4: Good readOverall really good job!
Mary
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December 17, 2020 at 10:50 pm #59947
kfvoice
ParticipantHi reeyab!
Really good job in changing your tone in each read!
Script 1: Perhaps raise your tone and pitch on American Cancer Society?
Script 2: I noticed you dipped in tone at the end of “Something else happens.” Just a tad. It was still clear, to me. Be mindful of pausing mid-sentence, not in the script. (These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.)
Script 3: Nice work!
Script 4: Slight micro pause in first sentence. Minor.
Tried my best to give feedback since your recordings are only coming through on the left side.
On the snow front, the mid to southern Green Mountains got walloped as well! I am more north, but we’ll get it soon enough. Good day to stay in!
Keep it up!
Kathy
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December 17, 2020 at 12:48 pm #59924
reeyab
ParticipantOne more PSA today for the heck of it!
USPS Identity Theft PSA
The US Postal Service wants to remind everyone this year to protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox–and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers,or account numbers. To learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw.Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 11:57 pm #59956
mkell755
ParticipantHi Reeyab! Nice work. It sounded clear and well-paced and appropriately authoritative. Very good!
Mary
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December 17, 2020 at 10:18 pm #59946
kfvoice
ParticipantNice job, reeyab!
My comment is to be mindful of sounding “breathy” between words or sentences. I am not sure if I commented on one of your other posts about this before.
On an audio note, I could only hear your recording in my left earpiece. At first I thought is was on my end, but I can hear others on here just fine. Thought I would mention it.
Kathy
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December 17, 2020 at 7:17 am #59894
Bil-Bo
Participant‘’Tractor Supply Company’’
It’s the season to add a little warmth to life out here.
And though the past year’s been an unexpected one,
all 38,000 of us are ready to help you make the most of
this…all with everything you need at everyday low prices, so
you can take care of the ones that count on you…prepare
for those shorter days and cooler nights and sit back and warm
up to more family time. Prepare together. Enjoy together.
Stronger together. Tractor Supply.Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 11:59 pm #59957
mkell755
ParticipantHi Bil-Bo – loved it! Your voice is really warm and approachable and very well-suited to this genre. This sounds like it is already on the radio – very good!
Mary
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December 17, 2020 at 10:10 pm #59945
kfvoice
ParticipantI don’t have anything to critique, Bil-Bo, as I agree with what everyone else has said. This sounds like I could hear it right now! Nice job!
Kathy
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December 17, 2020 at 12:31 pm #59915
reeyab
ParticipantGah, I submitted a post a little while ago and then edited it and it seems to have vanished. Many apologies if this turns out to be a double-post. At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 12:35 pm #59920
reeyab
ParticipantANNNND I nested this under the wrong post. My apologies to Bil-Bo.
But while I’m here – Bil-Bo, I love your voice! It is perfect for this copy. Great diction, nice pacing, and if that’s your natural accent it works wonderfully. And if it’s not – dang, that’s a great accent you can do! Nice job. I loved the music underneath as well. I can definitely envision hearing this on the radio.
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December 17, 2020 at 9:59 am #59896
Toque
ParticipantI thought it sounded great Bil-Bo. Awesome strong, deep voice. Great enunciation and variance in intonation where appropriate. Sounds very professional to me, like a community/family man who owns a tractor. Toque
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December 17, 2020 at 12:47 am #59884
kfvoice
ParticipantI’ve got two for you tonight. I am trying to pick what Biography I want to include on my demo. Actually, I pretty much already decided, but curious to see the choice you all think.
It’s Maureen O’Hara vs. Grace Kelly … which is funny, because if you ever saw the made for TV movie with Ms. O’Hara, Cab to Canada — one of her last acting roles, by the way — Ms. Kelly plays a “supporting” role in the plot.
Anyway, both great actresses, and among my all-time favorites. The delivery is different for each one — and I am still working to nail it down, as well as the audio.
Which classic actress will it be?
Any tips, and all feedback, is appreciated!
Kathy
Biography: Maureen O’Hara
Irish-born actress, Maureen O’Hara, was billed alongside Hollywood’s leading men in many features of the 1940s. O’Hara went on to further fame starring in the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street, in 1947. In 1961, she appeared in one of her most famous films, The Parent Trap, alongside a young Hayley Mills.
Biography: Grace Kelly
Grace Kelly was an award-winning American film actress of the 1950’s, turned Princess, and forever style icon.
In April 1956, Grace would leave Hollywood behind to become Princess Grace of Monaco.
Tragically killed in a car crash in September 1982, the Grace Kelly style — white-gloved ingénue, elegant goddess, and passionate s****l romantic — is everlasting, and still inspires fashions to this day.
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December 18, 2020 at 12:02 am #59958
mkell755
ParticipantHi Kathy! Both reads are good, but I prefer Grace Kelly too – felt smoother and more natural and relaxed, and the tone seemed a touch softer too. Very good!
Mary
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December 18, 2020 at 1:16 am #59960
kfvoice
ParticipantThanks, Mary! Grace was my pick from the beginning. 🙂
Kathy
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December 18, 2020 at 7:33 pm #59988
mkell755
ParticipantWell cool! But the original Parent Trap movie, I mean you can’t go wrong talking about Maureen O’Hara in that movie! 🙂
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December 18, 2020 at 11:21 pm #60000
kfvoice
ParticipantYou can’t! I love the original Parent Trap! 🙂
Although, I did like Natasha in the remake… and seeing the cameo of “Aunt Vicky”. 🙂
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December 19, 2020 at 12:20 am #60005
mkell755
ParticipantYes! That’s awesome. I love it when they do those subtle cameos for those of us who have seen both versions!
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December 17, 2020 at 12:39 pm #59921
reeyab
ParticipantI agree with the others who say that the Grace Kelly read was better – very smooth, and measured while keeping the listener’s interest. Nice work! The Maureen O’Hara one was a bit stiffer, and made the copy feel a bit dry, but I think if you relaxed a little more it would translate better and be just as engaging as the Grace Kelly copy.
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December 17, 2020 at 10:03 am #59897
Toque
ParticipantI agree with Robert. Second one sounded much better, both in terms of your voice and the overall audio quality. Great job! Toque
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December 17, 2020 at 2:12 am #59889
Robert Broussard
ParticipantThe second recording was better in my opinion. Both had good pacing etc. But your voice was much better in the Grace Kelly recording. Hope this helps.
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December 16, 2020 at 6:03 pm #59864
Erik B
ParticipantHello everybody. This is the first time I’ve posted on the updated Feedback Forum. Please feel free to provide feedback on my performace and recording quality.
Crayola Markers
Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often … In more places … with less mess.
Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 10:11 am #59899
Toque
ParticipantHi Erik. I liked it as well. Great voice, tone, pacing, etc. The only, very minor thing that stood out to me a bit was that, to my ear, the word “creativity” felt the tiniest bit over-enunciated. I know finding that balance, between good enunciation and sounding natural/conversational, can be a tough one. Overall, great read! Toque
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December 17, 2020 at 2:13 am #59890
Robert Broussard
ParticipantI liked it. Good read!
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December 16, 2020 at 11:02 pm #59881
kfvoice
ParticipantHi Erik!
I think the tone of your voice fits this script very well. As for audio quality, it sounded good on my end.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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December 16, 2020 at 7:23 pm #59874
mkell755
ParticipantHi Erik! First of all, welcome!
I liked this read – great energy (I will learn from you!) and pacing and enunciation throughout. Your voice sounds well-suited for this genre. Keep it up!
Mary
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December 16, 2020 at 5:48 pm #59860
Erik B
Participantreply #59808
Mary, the pace of your read was good. In addition you enunciated clearly. The one thing I noted was that the energy didn’t fit the copy. The read is for a gym, your tone needs to have more umph and energy. But overall good read.
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December 16, 2020 at 5:33 pm #59857
chas82
ParticipantI’m very early into my Commercial training and am trying to apply my coach’s comments after Lesson #1 to this and future reads. Some of those are: have a point of view, be connected to the copy, be conversational and engaging and don’t present, – talk. I’m also getting closer to creating a good recording environment at home but not there yet so forgive the typical newbie tech issues. Appreciate any and all feedback.
Audi
Why did we need to go to the moon? To make footprints in the dust? No, it was to make the unreachable reachable, to inspire people everywhere to do what couldn’t be done. At Audi, it inspired us too. The countdown has begun to put Quattro through its toughest test: the moon’s surface. With the technology that took on the Earth’s elements, we’ll drive in the footsteps of those first astronauts, pushing our knowledge forward. Why do we need to go to the moon? We don’t, we choose to do it, because now, maybe more than ever, choosing the moon brings out the best in us.
Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 12:42 pm #59922
reeyab
ParticipantThis is great! I honestly think car commercials can be super challenging, as they tend to be a bit grandiose (and almost melodramatic) for what they are advertising. (Given the season, we’re being bombarded with those “a car is a great Xmas gift for your spouse” commercials and they are driving my SO insane, haha.) Your voice is a perfect match for the sort of “this is bigger than a car” premise of the spot, and I loved your pacing. Awesome job!
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December 17, 2020 at 10:24 am #59903
Toque
ParticipantI think Mary’s comments nailed it. Great job! T
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December 16, 2020 at 7:26 pm #59875
mkell755
ParticipantHi Chas! I like this read. You have a nice, warm tone. Your pacing and clarity were great, as well as the words emphasized. It sounded very natural. Very good!
Mary
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December 16, 2020 at 12:50 pm #59836
Toque
ParticipantHi again all. A couple of comparatively different pieces today. Honest feedback is appreciated, and thanks so much to all who have commented on yesterday’s post!
Allstate script: Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can
afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?Pier 1 Sale script: Hi, my name is Ron and for the next two weeks, I’ll be saying the word “and” a lot and I’m
pretty sure it’s because the Pier 1 Sale is going on now and it will end on January 10 and
yeah, that’s soon, scary, and I know that you can come to your local Pier 1 store to save up
to 50%, and sometimes more, on yummy scented candles and cool upholstered chairs and
really pretty mirrors and colorful pillows that are so, so cute and bedroom furniture that is
like real legitimate wood and oh, and this storage ottoman that is CHEETAH and how cool
is it that it’s CHEETAH and I really want it and I’m probably going to get it and maybe some
of that super cool dinnerware and maybe some new barstools for my new place AND some
bookshelves because I have a ton of books and little sparkly things and I really just want
my place to look nice, so why wouldn’t I get it before January 10 while it’s up to 50% off at
the Pier 1 Sale and is that a harp sound? I like harpsAttachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 1:18 am #59888
Amitofu
ParticipantKudos to both performances!
The Pier 1 ad is super-intimidatingly long. You did a great job and I don’t envy you haha. It might take a few more runs than it’s worth, but if I were you I’d try jam packing as quickly as you can through it, a bit to the point of absurdity. Then when you slow it back down a bit, you can navigate it real quick. I just imagine that if this were say a radio ad, you might have to stuff the entire ad into a tiny timeslot. proportionally this one is tough. Not saying you did anything wrong, just a ‘variation’ I’d have up my sleeve if this is a situation you think you might find yourself in later
kind regards,
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December 16, 2020 at 10:56 pm #59880
kfvoice
ParticipantGreat reads, Toque! Both scripts sound ready to go! Script two was hilarious! Terrific job on that run-on sentence, like Mary mentioned!
Kathy
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December 16, 2020 at 7:13 pm #59873
mkell755
ParticipantHi Toque, great reads! Allstate was good – very straightforward and comfortable / authentic. Pier 1 was totally cracking me up! I could really hear the smile in your voice and the inflections were all over the place (in a good way, especially for this script), which made it really fun to listen to as the story was being told. I think too for this script which is basically a run-on sentence, your choice of where to take breaths seemed very natural as well. Really nice work! Loved it.
Mary
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December 16, 2020 at 5:19 pm #59856
chas82
ParticipantI thought both were very well done. The tone you chose for the Allstate was great conversational – it made me feel like we were friends and you were giving me solid advice based on personal experience.
Pier 1 was a killer! It felt like I was listening to a performance with 3-4 different and distinct characters. You seamlessly moved from one to another, bringing up the level of energy and amazement each time. Great choice of key words and phrases to emphasize and the variations you used to differentiate the contents of the list in the middle of the script were textbook to my ears. If there were any technical mistakes, I didn’t hear them because I was drawn into the story you were telling. Bravo!
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December 16, 2020 at 11:20 am #59820
katelyndawnvo
ParticipantThank you I appreciate the positive feedback! I have a coaching session today so I will see what my coach mentions about genres and niches my voice fits. I may be over thinking it but I’m so concerned with where to market myself as I don’t want to market myself in an area I don’t fit because that is like just bashing your head into a wall LOL
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December 16, 2020 at 1:31 pm #59843
katelyndawnvo
Participantsorry this was meant to go on the last upload I did… not sure how it ended up here and can’t delete lol..
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December 16, 2020 at 1:25 am #59808
mkell755
ParticipantHello all! Here is a recording (that I recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Looking for commercials that I can relate to, and boxing suits that for me (no sparring, only bags) thanks!
Mary
Fit and Fight
Do you want to be fit? Do you want to fight? Well, let’s go! Fit and Fight is the only gym where you can fight to get fit, get fit to fight, or do both. Get fit with an IFBB world champion bodybuilder. Learn to fight with a German amateur boxing champion. And did I mention it’s a friendly gym? Well, it isn’t. If you want a friend, get a dog. If you want to get fit and learn how to fight, you know where you need to be: Fit and Fight.Attachments:
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December 17, 2020 at 12:46 pm #59923
reeyab
ParticipantHi Mary! First of all, I LOVED the way you did the two “lists” in this copy. Lists are the hardest for me to nail without getting too monotonous. I do think that this would benefit from a more aggressive read – the speaker is basically commanding us to go to a hard-core gym where the “product” (such as it is – getting fit) won’t be provided in a touchy-feely way. I think something more authoritative would help get the message across. I did love your delivery about getting a dog if you want a friend – it made me chuckle. I think you’ve got the basic foundation for this copy down in terms of pacing – just… be more intimidating!
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December 17, 2020 at 11:29 pm #59953
mkell755
ParticipantHi Reeyab, thanks for the feedback! I really have to work on lists too. I will try for a more aggressive and authoritative read and reload one of these days soon. This script was interesting to me – like you say it is pushing people to push themselves without a lot of hand-holding. Thanks again!
Mary
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December 17, 2020 at 2:18 am #59891
Robert Broussard
ParticipantGood job Mary.
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December 17, 2020 at 12:05 am #59882
Amitofu
ParticipantIn my opinion, this is one of the few exception in voice over where you have to take a VERY accusative tone to the listener. It’s definitely a mood shift; needs to be high energy and short bursts. Each punctuation should be like a solid right hook, haha.
Here’s a scene from Ali : Muhamad Ali responding to the Vietnam war – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XwYh8FZzdQ
same kinda energy needs to flow. -
December 16, 2020 at 5:53 pm #59861
Erik B
ParticipantMary, the pace of your read was good. In addition you enunciated clearly. The copy is for a fight gym, your energy level needs to match the copy. But overall good read.
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December 16, 2020 at 9:48 am #59815
Toque
ParticipantHi Mary. Overall a good read. The one note I might make is something I struggle with as well – Energy. It just feels a bit like you’re holding back on the excitement/enthusiasm for the gym. Toque
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December 16, 2020 at 7:06 pm #59871
mkell755
ParticipantHi Toque, thanks for the feedback! Yes, I do struggle with energy as well. For a gym read I agree that it needs to be full of energy, but this one also has a no-nonsense vibe, like hey we’re here if you want to work for it, but we’re not going to chase you down or bend over backwards to be a “friendly gym”, you have to want to be fit to come here, So, for that reason I tried for a more take it or leave it approach (however they may not be what the advertising world wants). Thanks again! Really appreciate it.
Mary
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