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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello Feedback Friends! My name is Lexi and I am very new to the industry. I recorded practice scripts for AARP and Honey Bunches of Oats commercials on a NT1-A Rode Condensor Microphone that is connected to a Focusrite Scarlett Solo 3rd Generation 2i2o USB Audio Interface. Please let me know your thoughts and I thank you in advance. Happy Holidays.
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Hi Lexi! I must say – I just love the sound of your voice. Great job on both commercials – the volume and tone are great in both recordings. The only piece of constructive feedback I’d have to give is that I can audibly hear you take big breaths in the AARP recording (which can be distracting). If possible, come up with some breathing techniques that will help you take in the amount of air you need without us listeners “hearing” it. Looking forward to hearing your other recordings!!
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Welcome Lexi! Very good first reads!
Nice job with the pitch in each one — in AARP, the pitch was subtle, yet warm and natural, while enthusiastic in the Honey Bunches of Oates read.
Sound quality was good — I, too, have a NT1-A Rode condenser mic (with Rode interface). I love it!
A few minor things to be mindful of: 1) I heard a couple of “lip smacks” between sentences in the first script, and 2) “Oats” in Honey Bunches of Oates seemed to lower in volume and tone.
A tip: Sometimes it is easier to give feedback when we can see the scripts to compare with your read.
Overall, keep it up! I hope my feedback is helpful!
Kathy
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Thank you so much Kathy my apologies for not adding the actual script wording. I will definitely do that moving forward. And also thank you for pointing out those mouth noises! I will also practice smoothing out my word transitions between sentences. I really appreciate this, so glad you mentioned it! It’s great to recognize so that no bad habits are formed. Very grateful for your feedback.
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Hi Lexi! Welcome to the forum! I like your voice – very smooth, warm and friendly, and I like how you varied up the 2 scripts for a nice contrast between both. Good clarity and pacing for both scripts. Good enthusiasm on the Honey Bunches of Oats. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hello Mary! And thank you so much for listening to my practice reads. Greatly appreciate your feedback, I am happy to hear that the read sounded nice and clear for you. And I was kind of worried about my pacing so thank you for commenting in that regard. I am really enjoying the forum as well so thank you much for the warm welcome!
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Another practice read for my commercial demo! This one is for GE, thanks for listening!
Everyone wakes up every morning to a world that must keep turning. Moving. Going. The world can’t stop, so neither can we. Because the things we make help make the world go round. We’re builders. Constantly creating things that make our world cleaner, healthier, and more connected. So that the small moments that help define who we are and the big plans that make life wonderful can keep on rolling. Here at General Electric, we’ll keep building a world that works.
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Hi Gabe! Great read! You have a nice warm voice and it was very clear and had great energy. I know this is for practice, but your said “everybody” instead of “everyone” for the first word, just something to be mindful of. I liked the emphasis on “builders”. You might want to emphasize “General Electric” just a little more as the product name, just a thought. Very nice!
Mary
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Looking to add to my commercial demo reel with “Nike” it seems short enough to hold listener’s ear. Appreciate any comments!
Nike
It’s a mindset. A focus. A deep seated spirit. It’s an inner strength to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, no matter what presses against you. It’s confidence. It’s belief. It’s a way of life. It’s Nike. -
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More Commercial Demo homework…this time, my reads are for Excedrin Migraine, which is supposed to be a super conversational tone, and Dewalt, more of a blue-collar tone. I also included some alternate takes on the tag line in the Dewalt read.
Any feedback on tone, clarity of intention, and pacing would be great. (Note: I tend to rush as a natural cadence, something all of my coaches have told me, and it’s something that we’re trying to work on.)
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Hi Brian!
I like the enthusiasm and tone you brought to each read.
In the Dewalt script, halfway through/near the end, it did sound a little rushed — but as you mentioned, it is something you are working on. I think just a tad slower, and it would be good.
I listened to the tag lines multiple times, and I narrowed it down to the first and second, and finally went with the second. To me, the second one is the tone and delivery that sounds the best for the tag line — you highlight Dewalt, but then close out the read in a bit of a softer and natural tone. Just my thoughts.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hi Brian! Good reads! I feel like the tone and pacing was very good for both reads. I liked the second tag line for Dewalt the best. Both reads were good, and I liked the conversational Dewalt tone a lot. I like how you stretched out “rain”, helped vary up that script and in effect slowed it down a little. Very good!
Mary
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Could use some feedback on this audition…2 takes, 2nd starts at :15…biggest difference is how I’m hitting the first sentence. Brief called for casual but professional, so I was treating this like having a conversation with Sam from Accounting in the break room.
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Hi Brian, second take was much better, I think. Without the script it’s hard to break it down, but listening to the ending it kind of trailed off, if that makes sense? A lot of auditions are not written very well and the brands are relatively unknown so it takes a lot of imagination to create something intriguing. Love to hear more of your character work though,(Joker)!!
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I really like this, Robert! I, too, agree with Mary and Brian about the tone. I also echo that while the tone is good, give it a little more energy.
What stuck out to me, is that I liked how you delivered, and had emphasis, on the first “fresh”, “waves”, and “sea” at the end of the sentences.
I don’t know what the script had, but it sounded like there was too long of a pause between “Wind Drift” and “does that too you.” I think you were trying to billboard and highlight Wind Drift, since it is the product you are selling. If you take out the pause, it would flow in that part of the script better. After that, the pauses work, to me anyway, because that is the tag line.
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hi Robert, good read! Very calming and soothing, as Brian mentioned. It sounds little bit muffled on my end, but I don’t yet have a full recording setup, so this is just an observation. Very good!
Mary
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I really love your tone, it’s very natural and calming; it has a great flow to it. That said, give more energy! Figure out which are the important words to hit, and make sure that they get the attention that the deserve. You don’t need to crank it to 11, especially with this read, but I would say give it a little more.
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Stella Artois Beer
Of course Stella Artois tastes better than other beers. We’ve had over 600 years to get the recipe right. Since 1366 Stella Artois has been painstakingly brewed in a time honored tradition using the choicest ingredients which is why our customers have kept coming back for more even after 600 years. Stella Artois. Perfection has it’s price.
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Hi Robert, good read! I read this one awhile back and I really like hearing the same read by different people. Good pacing and tone throughout. Very good!
Mary
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Robert, I like this read it has passion to it! I agree with the pauses but you could edit those pretty easily. Great work and now I’m gonna go get a “Stella Artois”!
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Your pacing was good. The third sentence was a bit of run on sentence, and it sounded better with some built in pauses. I know this is practice, however, just be mindful for an audition when it isn’t called for.
Kathy
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Hi everyone!
Here is a Documentary/eLearning/Internet Audio script (not from the library), that I put together for practice.
All feedback is appreciated.
Thanks, Kathy
Snowy Owls
Unlike many other owls, Snowy owls are not nocturnal, and can be seen hunting any time of the day or night. Consider yourself lucky if you spot one though, because these owls tend to inhabit places where humans don’t live.
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Hi Kathy! Good job! I liked this read. The pace and clarity were good, but it did not flow as well as many I have heard from you, not sure how to pinpoint that. I heard an extra “at” after “hunting”. “Hunting” sounded more like “hunning” to me too, but I think it might sound unnatural if you over-enunciated it. Keep it up!
Mary
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OK, so to kind of echo what Robert said, this really sound “read”. There were a lot of glottal stops and pauses that took the flow out of it, possibly from either over-enunciating words or trying to put too much emphasis on them. (I get called on this by my coaches on a regular basis, putting in pauses at places that don’t need them.)
In a few places, specifically “hunting” (sounded like “hunning”) and “consider” (sounded like “consinner”), the words were under-enunciated.
1) Try to make the read flow without the pauses and stops. (Don’t put commas in where there aren’t any, like between “day or night”.)
2) Who is this being read to? Why are you saying these words? Finding the intention will definitely help with the performance. (Believe me, I struggle with this constantly, it’s not easy, bu keep working at it!) -
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Hello Folks! The following are three Narration Homework Scripts: #1. Corporate Explainer – AIG, #2. Documentary – About Horror and #3. E Learning – Space Game.
#1. Narration Corporate Explainer – AIG
The Greatest Risk Is Not Taking One. They gave up everything. Their families. Their friends. Their homes. The villages they were born in. They arrived with only the clothes on their backs. Vulnerable. Scared. But brimming with hope and determined that a better life was within their grasp. Today, risk takers don’t have to go after their dreams alone. They can rely on a business partner to help them through uncharted waters. An organization with unsurpassed insight and financial resources. One with the ability and flexibility to design specific solutions to help minimize risk for almost any business undertaking. So the next time you decide to venture into new territory for an idea you believe in, call AIG. We’re best equipped to help you manage the uncertainties that go along with the pursuit of hopes and dreams.
#2. Narration Documentary – ABOUT HORROR
Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.
Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.
#3. Narration E-Learning – CHILDREN’S EDUCATIONAL SPACE GAME
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!
Thanks in advance for any input!-
Hi GJS, great reads! Your voice is really nice, warm, and rich and seems really well-suited for these commercials. Really nice clarity and pacing for all 3.
Script 1: Good read but maybe a tiny bit slow overall
Script 2: I like this one the best, and I liked the variation in the characters (ghouls, vampires, etc.). This sounded really authentic for you
Script 3: This was good, with good variation in the lists and having a ton that would appeal to kids.Overall really good!
Mary
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Love the gravitas of your voice. I’m envious.
#1…I’m not sure of the intention here. There is a vivid word picture being painted here, but I’m not sure it’s coming through. Your delivery is good, I get the idea that this is supposed to be big and momentous, but I’m not sure why. May just need a little polish on the intention.
#2 was, by far, my favorite, especially when you hit your stride in the second sentence…that’s fun! If there’s a way to bring that same level of interest in the first sentence, man, you’ll have knocked this one out of the part.
#3 was nice to listen to, and it definitely sounded like you were playing to children, so right on, but I almost want to hear more of a sense of wonder about this. This is some cool stuff you’re talking about, especially with what we now know and what is possibly going to happen within our (or the kids that are hearing this) lifetimes.
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Hi! I think you have a very charming, warm and inviting voice. I think your enthusiasm in the kids eLearning was very sweet. One thing i noticed throughout was very careful pacing. To make it sound more natural and conversational you can pick up the pace. Note how you speak in conversations with people, we don’t carefully pace what we are saying. It might help if you have your specific listener in mind and imagine you are speaking with them in a conversation. Great work! 🙂
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Thanks Katelyndawnny for the excellent feedback! I absolutely hear what you are saying about the pacing. I have other takes that are both, quicker and more casual. I kept going back to these takes thinking the others were flat. I need to find a middle ground with pacing; I’m either a bit to fast, or in this case, overly cautious. Much appreciated!
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