Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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One more PSA today for the heck of it!
USPS Identity Theft PSA
The US Postal Service wants to remind everyone this year to protect themselves from becoming victims of identity theft. Promptly remove incoming mail from your mailbox–and don’t give out passwords, pin numbers,or account numbers. To learn more, visit consumer.gov/ncpw.-
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Nice job, reeyab!
My comment is to be mindful of sounding “breathy” between words or sentences. I am not sure if I commented on one of your other posts about this before.
On an audio note, I could only hear your recording in my left earpiece. At first I thought is was on my end, but I can hear others on here just fine. Thought I would mention it.
Kathy
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‘’Tractor Supply Company’’
It’s the season to add a little warmth to life out here.
And though the past year’s been an unexpected one,
all 38,000 of us are ready to help you make the most of
this…all with everything you need at everyday low prices, so
you can take care of the ones that count on you…prepare
for those shorter days and cooler nights and sit back and warm
up to more family time. Prepare together. Enjoy together.
Stronger together. Tractor Supply.-
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Gah, I submitted a post a little while ago and then edited it and it seems to have vanished. Many apologies if this turns out to be a double-post. At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.-
ANNNND I nested this under the wrong post. My apologies to Bil-Bo.
But while I’m here – Bil-Bo, I love your voice! It is perfect for this copy. Great diction, nice pacing, and if that’s your natural accent it works wonderfully. And if it’s not – dang, that’s a great accent you can do! Nice job. I loved the music underneath as well. I can definitely envision hearing this on the radio.
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I’ve got two for you tonight. I am trying to pick what Biography I want to include on my demo. Actually, I pretty much already decided, but curious to see the choice you all think.
It’s Maureen O’Hara vs. Grace Kelly … which is funny, because if you ever saw the made for TV movie with Ms. O’Hara, Cab to Canada — one of her last acting roles, by the way — Ms. Kelly plays a “supporting” role in the plot.
Anyway, both great actresses, and among my all-time favorites. The delivery is different for each one — and I am still working to nail it down, as well as the audio.
Which classic actress will it be?
Any tips, and all feedback, is appreciated!
Kathy
Biography: Maureen O’Hara
Irish-born actress, Maureen O’Hara, was billed alongside Hollywood’s leading men in many features of the 1940s. O’Hara went on to further fame starring in the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street, in 1947. In 1961, she appeared in one of her most famous films, The Parent Trap, alongside a young Hayley Mills.
Biography: Grace Kelly
Grace Kelly was an award-winning American film actress of the 1950’s, turned Princess, and forever style icon.
In April 1956, Grace would leave Hollywood behind to become Princess Grace of Monaco.
Tragically killed in a car crash in September 1982, the Grace Kelly style — white-gloved ingénue, elegant goddess, and passionate s****l romantic — is everlasting, and still inspires fashions to this day.
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Hi Kathy! Both reads are good, but I prefer Grace Kelly too – felt smoother and more natural and relaxed, and the tone seemed a touch softer too. Very good!
Mary
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I agree with the others who say that the Grace Kelly read was better – very smooth, and measured while keeping the listener’s interest. Nice work! The Maureen O’Hara one was a bit stiffer, and made the copy feel a bit dry, but I think if you relaxed a little more it would translate better and be just as engaging as the Grace Kelly copy.
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I agree with Robert. Second one sounded much better, both in terms of your voice and the overall audio quality. Great job! Toque
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The second recording was better in my opinion. Both had good pacing etc. But your voice was much better in the Grace Kelly recording. Hope this helps.
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Hello everybody. This is the first time I’ve posted on the updated Feedback Forum. Please feel free to provide feedback on my performace and recording quality.
Crayola Markers
Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often … In more places … with less mess.
Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.-
Hi Erik. I liked it as well. Great voice, tone, pacing, etc. The only, very minor thing that stood out to me a bit was that, to my ear, the word “creativity” felt the tiniest bit over-enunciated. I know finding that balance, between good enunciation and sounding natural/conversational, can be a tough one. Overall, great read! Toque
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I’m very early into my Commercial training and am trying to apply my coach’s comments after Lesson #1 to this and future reads. Some of those are: have a point of view, be connected to the copy, be conversational and engaging and don’t present, – talk. I’m also getting closer to creating a good recording environment at home but not there yet so forgive the typical newbie tech issues. Appreciate any and all feedback.
Audi
Why did we need to go to the moon? To make footprints in the dust? No, it was to make the unreachable reachable, to inspire people everywhere to do what couldn’t be done. At Audi, it inspired us too. The countdown has begun to put Quattro through its toughest test: the moon’s surface. With the technology that took on the Earth’s elements, we’ll drive in the footsteps of those first astronauts, pushing our knowledge forward. Why do we need to go to the moon? We don’t, we choose to do it, because now, maybe more than ever, choosing the moon brings out the best in us.
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This is great! I honestly think car commercials can be super challenging, as they tend to be a bit grandiose (and almost melodramatic) for what they are advertising. (Given the season, we’re being bombarded with those “a car is a great Xmas gift for your spouse” commercials and they are driving my SO insane, haha.) Your voice is a perfect match for the sort of “this is bigger than a car” premise of the spot, and I loved your pacing. Awesome job!
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Hi again all. A couple of comparatively different pieces today. Honest feedback is appreciated, and thanks so much to all who have commented on yesterday’s post!
Allstate script: Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can
afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?Pier 1 Sale script: Hi, my name is Ron and for the next two weeks, I’ll be saying the word “and” a lot and I’m
pretty sure it’s because the Pier 1 Sale is going on now and it will end on January 10 and
yeah, that’s soon, scary, and I know that you can come to your local Pier 1 store to save up
to 50%, and sometimes more, on yummy scented candles and cool upholstered chairs and
really pretty mirrors and colorful pillows that are so, so cute and bedroom furniture that is
like real legitimate wood and oh, and this storage ottoman that is CHEETAH and how cool
is it that it’s CHEETAH and I really want it and I’m probably going to get it and maybe some
of that super cool dinnerware and maybe some new barstools for my new place AND some
bookshelves because I have a ton of books and little sparkly things and I really just want
my place to look nice, so why wouldn’t I get it before January 10 while it’s up to 50% off at
the Pier 1 Sale and is that a harp sound? I like harps-
Kudos to both performances!
The Pier 1 ad is super-intimidatingly long. You did a great job and I don’t envy you haha. It might take a few more runs than it’s worth, but if I were you I’d try jam packing as quickly as you can through it, a bit to the point of absurdity. Then when you slow it back down a bit, you can navigate it real quick. I just imagine that if this were say a radio ad, you might have to stuff the entire ad into a tiny timeslot. proportionally this one is tough. Not saying you did anything wrong, just a ‘variation’ I’d have up my sleeve if this is a situation you think you might find yourself in later
kind regards,
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Hi Toque, great reads! Allstate was good – very straightforward and comfortable / authentic. Pier 1 was totally cracking me up! I could really hear the smile in your voice and the inflections were all over the place (in a good way, especially for this script), which made it really fun to listen to as the story was being told. I think too for this script which is basically a run-on sentence, your choice of where to take breaths seemed very natural as well. Really nice work! Loved it.
Mary
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I thought both were very well done. The tone you chose for the Allstate was great conversational – it made me feel like we were friends and you were giving me solid advice based on personal experience.
Pier 1 was a killer! It felt like I was listening to a performance with 3-4 different and distinct characters. You seamlessly moved from one to another, bringing up the level of energy and amazement each time. Great choice of key words and phrases to emphasize and the variations you used to differentiate the contents of the list in the middle of the script were textbook to my ears. If there were any technical mistakes, I didn’t hear them because I was drawn into the story you were telling. Bravo!
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Thank you I appreciate the positive feedback! I have a coaching session today so I will see what my coach mentions about genres and niches my voice fits. I may be over thinking it but I’m so concerned with where to market myself as I don’t want to market myself in an area I don’t fit because that is like just bashing your head into a wall LOL
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Hello all! Here is a recording (that I recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Looking for commercials that I can relate to, and boxing suits that for me (no sparring, only bags) thanks!
Mary
Fit and Fight
Do you want to be fit? Do you want to fight? Well, let’s go! Fit and Fight is the only gym where you can fight to get fit, get fit to fight, or do both. Get fit with an IFBB world champion bodybuilder. Learn to fight with a German amateur boxing champion. And did I mention it’s a friendly gym? Well, it isn’t. If you want a friend, get a dog. If you want to get fit and learn how to fight, you know where you need to be: Fit and Fight.-
Hi Mary! First of all, I LOVED the way you did the two “lists” in this copy. Lists are the hardest for me to nail without getting too monotonous. I do think that this would benefit from a more aggressive read – the speaker is basically commanding us to go to a hard-core gym where the “product” (such as it is – getting fit) won’t be provided in a touchy-feely way. I think something more authoritative would help get the message across. I did love your delivery about getting a dog if you want a friend – it made me chuckle. I think you’ve got the basic foundation for this copy down in terms of pacing – just… be more intimidating!
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Hi Reeyab, thanks for the feedback! I really have to work on lists too. I will try for a more aggressive and authoritative read and reload one of these days soon. This script was interesting to me – like you say it is pushing people to push themselves without a lot of hand-holding. Thanks again!
Mary
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In my opinion, this is one of the few exception in voice over where you have to take a VERY accusative tone to the listener. It’s definitely a mood shift; needs to be high energy and short bursts. Each punctuation should be like a solid right hook, haha.
Here’s a scene from Ali : Muhamad Ali responding to the Vietnam war – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XwYh8FZzdQ
same kinda energy needs to flow. -
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Mary, the pace of your read was good. In addition you enunciated clearly. The copy is for a fight gym, your energy level needs to match the copy. But overall good read.
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Hi Mary. Overall a good read. The one note I might make is something I struggle with as well – Energy. It just feels a bit like you’re holding back on the excitement/enthusiasm for the gym. Toque
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Hi Toque, thanks for the feedback! Yes, I do struggle with energy as well. For a gym read I agree that it needs to be full of energy, but this one also has a no-nonsense vibe, like hey we’re here if you want to work for it, but we’re not going to chase you down or bend over backwards to be a “friendly gym”, you have to want to be fit to come here, So, for that reason I tried for a more take it or leave it approach (however they may not be what the advertising world wants). Thanks again! Really appreciate it.
Mary
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Hey everyone!
Trying to record my first (commercial) demo without a VO coach! (pandemic, am I right?) So be as critical as you please. I’m going to do more stuff with edge soon, but for right now this is my first shot at it.Thanks!
Script:
*You love coffee. You do! It’s the first thing in the morning that makes you say Ahh!!! David’s – fresh campfire roast – coming soon.
*Oh deary me no, no that wont work at all. My sweet cheeks deserve the 4 ply strength only charmin can provide. When nature calls, I call the front desk, and ask for Charmin.
*I was so out of luck, I felt like I was checking the Amish section of farmers-only.com, but when I switched Westbank united, things looked … hopeful. Now when I check my savings account I don’t have to worry.
*A: “It’s taco night!~~”
B: “Yesyesyesyesyes, I love taco night!”
A: “We won’t tell your dad we’re using Hank’s vegan chili again”
B: “I can’t wait, are you going to start cooking now?”
A: “soon enough”
B: “It’s so good. It makes me say muuuuy deliscioso…ahem*You’re listening to our non-stop kids hour podcast; next up is Oliver’s Fox Squad, here on KidsChoice, the only podcast just for you!
*If you’re looking for insurance for whatever life throws your way, then you need to get Bryant Family Life Security.
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Hi Alex!
Impressive. Great range in voices for each script, and varying your tone and pitch.
My feedback:
I understand as a voice actor we need to interpret the script for delivery; what the client wants, but we also need to read the script as written (no adding or eliminating words, pausing).
Script 3: You said “to”, but forgot to include it in your script here. I am sure it was a minor typing error. I also noticed a micro-pause in your sentence, “Now when I check my savings account I don’t have to worry.” Unless it’s built into the script, again, watch for pausing mid-sentence. (I noticed it in script 2, as well. Minor, but noticeable.)
Audio and production quality sounded good on my end.
Just my thoughts. Overall, great job!
Thank you, too, for the feedback.
Kathy
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Hi Amitofu. First, thanks so much for your great feedback on my posting below. Really appreciate it.I’ll make my comments for each of your reads in the order they appear:
First read: Sounds great!
Second read:Not sure if that’s an English accent you’re trying to effect, or just a bit of a character accent? If English (and as someone with an English mother, grandmother, etc) I’d say it’s so-so and could use some work. My coach’s advice has been to avoid doing accents unless they’re “spot on”.
Third read: Great also – just one minor bit of slurring the word “savings” in “savings account”.
Fourth read: Great.
Fifth read: (Oliver’s Fox Squad) – I loved this one! I can easily imagine hearing it on a promo during Saturday morning cartoons!
Sixth read: Also very good. As with Mary’s comments, I’m impressed with the range of voices you have. Great work!
Toque.
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Thanks so much. I definitely appreciate you going into detail and I’m glad you found my feedback helpful as well. The second voice was essentially a character voice. I’ve never really practiced an authentic British accent; ‘maybe’ in the distant future I’ll attempt one but this wasn’t meant to be an example, haha.
Thanks again.
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Hi Amitofu! Wow, really nice variation of reads with great production. Each segment showed a very nice sample of your voice and each segment had great emotion and authenticity. All of the segments seem really suited for your voice, and all of them sounded like they are already out there. Very good!
Mary
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