Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello you fine VO folks!
I’m back again with some more commercial VO homework. Please let me know what you think, what my strengths are, what I need to work on/tune my ear better for when editing and reviewing my own commercial work!
The scripts for the three are as follows:
E-Class
A car that can actually see like a human. Using stereoscopic cameras and even stop itself if it has to. The technology may be hard to imagine, but why you would want it, is not. The 2020 E-class. It doesn’t just see the future…KerryGold
It’s more than luck that brings people together. KerryGold, pure Irish butter. Made with milk from grass-fed cows that graze on the lush pastures of Ireland.Nike
It’s a mindset. A focus. A deep seated spirit. It’s an inner strength to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, no matter what presses against you. It’s confidence. It’s belief. It’s a way of life. It’s Nike.-
HI there! Here is my feedback. I hope it helps! – Kathy
Overall, tighten up the reads on the first two scripts — don’t pause so long between sentences.
Script 1: I have found the Merriam-Webster website useful in double checking pronunciation of words, like for example, your read of stereoscopic. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stereoscopic)
Script 3: I felt this was the best read. I would play around with the delivery of “It’s Nike“, with the emphasis on Nike. That is what you are selling, so billboard the word to make it stand out more (kind of like you did with E Class).
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Hello everyone! Here is a recording for your review, done in my closet on phone. Any and all feedback would be great! I was going for a conversational but calm tone here. I’ve heard VRBO pronounced as “verbo” but I decided to spell it out “V R B O”. I think it could go either way. Thank you!
Mary
VRBO
This is the checkers game where grandson and grandad will bond. This is the pool where cannonball records will be broken. And this is the kitchen where the new boyfriend will unofficially become family. These are the VRBO vacation homes waiting for you to fill with your family. Your Together Awaits. Find it with VRBO.-
Nice read and sound, Mary! In your third sentence there was a slight micro-pause mid-sentence. Overall, good job!
I hope this helps!
Kathy
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Hi guys! Here is an audio tour narration piece I’m working on with my coach for my upcoming demo. It is about the Titanic Museum (freaking loved it) anyways, any feedback is appreciated! I’m sorry I have to run after I upload but will be back tomorrow to provide comments on other posts as well. 🙂
Katelyn
TITANIC
Welcome aboard the Titanic museum self-guided tour. You will experience various exhibits and learn about the ship, its passengers and crew. Admire the grand staircase, view cabins, and encounter real artifacts, while gaining insight into one of the most famous shipwrecks in history. -
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Good evening everyone! This time around I have 3 scripts. The first 2 are corporate explainer videos with different themes, while the third one is a documentary narration. I feel like I did the best on the first one and the worst on the second one. Don’t hold back with criticism!
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Hi Dante! Good work. You have a very nice smooth and clear voice that is well-suited for all 3 of these scripts.
Script 1: This may be a regional thing, but I have only heard “Aetna” pronounced as “eht-na”, like the e in everywhere or Ezra (kindof). I have not heard your pronunciation , which sounded more to me like “eight-na”, as in number 8. Good pacing and tone.
Script 2: Data plex – very good! You sounded very familiar with this script and so it flowed very nicely.
Script 3: Great adjustment to reflect the serious tone for the topic. Very natural and conversational.
I think I like 2, 3, then 1, but really all are good! Keep it up!
Mary
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Hey Community Forum! I’m putting some practice scripts up here for any and all feedback you can give! I’m a class and a half away from recording my first ever demo with Edge Studio! So please, any suggestions and ideas you can spare, I would greatly appreciate it!
Dr. Seuss
By now you should be standing in front of a series of world-famous children’s books created by Dr. Seuss – beginning with number 88 on your left: Green Eggs and Ham.
It’s no doubt familiar to you and your family – over 1.5 million copies have been sold annually since its creation in 1960. In fact, even forty years after its debut, children still mail the author green eggs and ham. By the time this book appeared in bookstores and libraries in 1960, Dr. Seuss had become an industry.
Take a moment and study the outrageous colors and free-spirited style the characters are rendered in. Look at the cover. It’s quite unlike the traditional Dick and Jane books so popular before Dr. Seuss. You probably are already pretty familiar with the verse. But note how it all comes together on the pages displayed – the art, the verse, the design, the colors… even the size of the book itself. Not a wasted inch or unnecessary verse. It’s all a symphony of very well orchestrated nonsense. And like all of his creations… it works; wonderfullyTop Ten List Jumbo
Welcome back to List Jumbo. When we think of floods, we generally think of water. But today’s list will have you thinking twice. Here are the Top 10 Non-Water Floods. On October 17th, 1814 in London, England, at The Meux and Company Brewery, a busted vat of beer caused a pretty epic flood. The vat, containing 135 000 gallons of beer, broke open, causing other vats in the warehouse to follow suit.Meditation
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times-
I went to post this the other week, and it wouldn’t let me, so I here it is. I hope you see it!
Overall, these were good reads, danvasq!
Here is my feedback. These are minor, but it could cost you from landing a job.
Script 1: In the second paragraph/part of the script, it doesn’t sound like it flows well together. I hear “blips” between some sentences. Is this from editing? And, at the :46-47 mark, with the sentence, “You probably are already pretty familiar with the verse.“, you skip the word “pretty”. At the :55 mark, you say “arts”, as opposed to art, and then at 1:08, you skipped “of” in the sentence “And like all of his creations.” Be mindful of skipping words when reading, and sticking to the script. I would try varying your pitch just a little more on this list: the art, the verse, the design, the colors.
Script 2: Like Mary mentioned, you need to edit out that pause and deep breath (“flood. The vat…”) right before you read your last sentence. Otherwise, I am not sure if you intended to or not, but I would say good judgement in deciding not to pause after some of the commas in your last sentence. If you have taken the webinar “The Science of Speaking Like a Pro”, then you know it isn’t always necessary. This works, and if you haven’t done so already, try different reads to see what sounds best to you.
Script 3: Slight background noise. Easily fixed in editing for noise reduction.
These are just my thoughts. I hope this helps!
Good luck with the demo!
Kathy
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Hi Dan, great work! These are all great scripts for you. Your voice is very warm and comforting and your pacing and enunciation are on point.
Script 1: At about 27 seconds you substituted a “the” instead of a “this” – “By the time this book…” Minor thing. Otherwise really pleasant read.Script 2: There is a longer than typical pause after “…caused a pretty epic flood.” and the next sentence. I would think any longer than needed pauses could be edited out as needed. Also, there was no pause at the comma after “the vat,…” Good read!
Script 3: Great variation in tone to soothe and relax the listener for a meditative listen – very good!
Mary
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Hi everyone! Here is a recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think. Thanks!
Mary
Duluth – Daily Carry Multi Tool
Strip wires, poke holes, open a beer and a can of camp chili, sharpen a fish hook – and later remove the same fish hook from a snagged thumb. Tools lock open and stay open until you’re dang good and ready to put them away. At 4-1/2” long when closed, the multi-tool fits handily in your pocket – and definitely inside any stockings on the mantle.-
I very much enjoy the character that you put forward! It makes it much more entertaining to listen to and more importantly, keeps the listener, listening!
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Nice job Mary, good job with pace and tone. You keep getting better at varying your read for key words or phrases. Keep it up. And be careful with those fish hooks. 😊
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Nice job on varying your pitch and tone, Mary. I, too, can’t get the fish hook in the thumb vision out of my head — reminds me of when I cut my finger on my Dad’s jack knife. I still have the scar!
Kathy
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Eek – I can’t stop picturing the fish hook in the thumb LOL! Nice read, very friendly delivery. You do a good job of explaining the different reasons why someone would want this tool. Nice pace and flow.
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Hello everyone!
While I am working towards a narration demo, I like to switch it up now and then for practice. I decided to put together two different (non-Edge Library) promos for Friday’s feedback. One is for TV identification, and the other is for a radio station. (I had to warm up a bit, so I was thinking warm weather with the radio spot!)
Let me know what you think. All feedback is appreciated! (P.S. Any noise in the background is from my laptop. Still working on a desk setup.)
Kathy
WCAX Channel 3
You’re watching, WCAX, Channel 3. Burlington, Plattsburgh, Montreal.
STAR 94.3
Your choice for Kauai’s best music from the 80’s, 90’s, and Now … Star 94.3.
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Hi Kathy, Nice reads on both of these! I think your pace and tone were good on both. The TV spot had a relaxed, PBS kind of vibe so I would guess that’s the kind of programming they have on that channel. The radio spot had good energy, based on what kind of music I’m guessing they play.
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Hi Kathy! Good reads! Very clear and good pace and variation in the list of cities in the first one. I liked in the second script how I could hear the smile in your voice, especially for “the 80’s” (a decade which I happen to really love). Good job!
Mary
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I like the first read. Nice pacing enunciation and just overall.
The second read was good too, I think. If I were looking for things to practice, for this read in particular, I would make SURE that’s how one pronounces ‘Kauai’ (I have no clue if you said it right or wrong; it’s just good practice to researching/confirming specific (especailly cultural) pronuciations), as well as repeat “Star 94.3” out loud until it’s a reflexive part of your vocabulary, like your dog’s name. To get a warm read out of a brand name, we (VO) kind of have to force familiarity. Not saying yours lacked either, just sharing a hypothetical routine.
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Thanks, Amitofu, for the feedback on both!
I made sure about Kauai. I listen to this station on an app. (It really does play a nice variety of music from the 80’s to now! It’s pronounced like Hawaii, but with a K.) I also did a documentary narration script for Kauai for one of my lessons.
Thanks again!
Kathy
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I am doing two versions a ab-libed a bit. Mary did this the other day and I think this is one of the best scripts I have heard really as well as her read. I just had to play around with this. Thanks for listening.
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Yeah! I love scripts like these. I could tell you were getting into it; it had good energy.
In terms of feedback, I hope I don’t sound overly-pragmatic, but one thing I had to learn through error is ‘clipping’ the microphone. I really really really love when I can be as crazy as I want in front of the microphone, but one thing I had to learn is how to put the same energy into my voice without raising the volume very much. The more sensitive your microphone (generally) the easier it is to blow out the sound/distort it by going too loud. So for practice, yeah, swing for the parks (vocal health first of course). Just understand that if you want to use that voice professionally, you’ll need to compliment that understanding with how to work under the limits of your mic. It may feel like you’re putting a silencer on a shotgun, but you get better at it the more you practice and play with your gain and mic distance. And I’m just stating because I don’t know how much you do or don’t know, but clipping is where the waveform you see when recording “hits the roof and floor limits” and causes distortion.
The British take was funny. but kinda had the opposite problem. I am absolutely NOT discouraging you from trying it. Please keep at it. But despite the fluidity and confidence you had, when a person doesn’t or can’t raise their voice above a certain level, it’s a dead giveaway that raising it above it presses their boundaries of that voice too hard. I guess in a word, it was obviously not your second-skin so to speak; which just takes practice and challenging that practice. When you can comfortably shout as a character is when you really have the reins, in my opinion.
Just things to keep in mind throughout your journey. Not knocking your efforts. Keep at it til you’re a master of disguise!
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Hi Robert! These are great! I like the music too. Fun script, right? I was laughing at this as I was listening! I like the ad-libbed parts too. Script 1 was good, excellent and pushy, which felt right for the tone of the script. I’m going to have to re-record mine one of these days soon and get a stronger tone / attitude. The third read cracked me up! Totally the opposite approach but also really effective. Fun accent on that one! Great job all around 🙂
Mary
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Hi all, Looking for feedback please. Thanks! Alexis
Script for telephony:
Thank you for calling Abigail Jane’s Flowers,
your friendly neighborhood florist for weddings and all of your special occasions.
To speak with a floral consultant, press 1
To place an order, press 2
To speak with Genevieve Thompson in arranging, press 3
To speak with Abigail Jane Frailey, press 4
To leave a message in the company mail box, press 5-
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Hi Alexis! I really liked this. Your voice is very pleasant and smooth-sounding, perfect for this script. Great variation in listing out the options, really good work!
Mary
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Sounds really good! definitely couldn’t of done better myself. I would say your ‘s’ sounds kinda peek through a little too sharply. You can approach this either with a de-esser in your DAW or by adjusting your technique, but someone else is probably better qualified to show you how.
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Very nice, Alexis! You defiantly have the voice for telephony. I like how you changed your pitch with each line, but kept the same tone throughout.
Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi everyone! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone, please bear with me) for any and all feedback. This is a very different sort of read for me, not sure if it is a good fit. I’ve heard it read a couple of different ways so far by others who had a different take on it. The script itself really drew me in and really gave me an interesting visual during the read. I don’t know how to edit yet, so please excuse the loud click at the end. Let me know what you think!
Mary
I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try to help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already racing heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?-
Hi Mary!
You defiantly did a great job varying your tone and pitch! I can see why you went for a teasing/taunting delivery. It makes sense, however, to echo Alexis, try adding a little more meanness and sarcastic tone to your delivery. Make sense?
Kathy
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Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback. Yes, totally makes sense to try for more meanness and a more sarcastic tone: I will try again soon. For some reason I can sound sarcastic easier than sounding mean. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi Mary, Good job with your pace and clarity. You had some nice pitch variation to keep things interesting. One comment that I have might sound a bit weird, but, you sound almost too friendly 🙂 In the script these are stressful, awful feelings like tight chest and racing heart and as the voice of the anxiety that is causing all these symptoms, I might expect you to sound more mean about being the one who is causing them. It could be a fun take to try to be more mean-spirited and have that kind of tension in the read, just an idea.
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Thanks for the feedback Alexis! I was wondering how it came off (friendly vs. menacing / mean). I will work on this one again. I was visualizing anxiety in this case as a teasing taunting sort of vibe, like a voice that you can’t get out of your head and what would that sound like. Thanks again! Very helpful.
Mary
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