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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I’ve got two for you tonight. I am trying to pick what Biography I want to include on my demo. Actually, I pretty much already decided, but curious to see the choice you all think.
It’s Maureen O’Hara vs. Grace Kelly … which is funny, because if you ever saw the made for TV movie with Ms. O’Hara, Cab to Canada — one of her last acting roles, by the way — Ms. Kelly plays a “supporting” role in the plot.
Anyway, both great actresses, and among my all-time favorites. The delivery is different for each one — and I am still working to nail it down, as well as the audio.
Which classic actress will it be?
Any tips, and all feedback, is appreciated!
Kathy
Biography: Maureen O’Hara
Irish-born actress, Maureen O’Hara, was billed alongside Hollywood’s leading men in many features of the 1940s. O’Hara went on to further fame starring in the Christmas classic, Miracle on 34th Street, in 1947. In 1961, she appeared in one of her most famous films, The Parent Trap, alongside a young Hayley Mills.
Biography: Grace Kelly
Grace Kelly was an award-winning American film actress of the 1950’s, turned Princess, and forever style icon.
In April 1956, Grace would leave Hollywood behind to become Princess Grace of Monaco.
Tragically killed in a car crash in September 1982, the Grace Kelly style — white-gloved ingénue, elegant goddess, and passionate s****l romantic — is everlasting, and still inspires fashions to this day.
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Hi Kathy! Both reads are good, but I prefer Grace Kelly too – felt smoother and more natural and relaxed, and the tone seemed a touch softer too. Very good!
Mary
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I agree with the others who say that the Grace Kelly read was better – very smooth, and measured while keeping the listener’s interest. Nice work! The Maureen O’Hara one was a bit stiffer, and made the copy feel a bit dry, but I think if you relaxed a little more it would translate better and be just as engaging as the Grace Kelly copy.
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I agree with Robert. Second one sounded much better, both in terms of your voice and the overall audio quality. Great job! Toque
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The second recording was better in my opinion. Both had good pacing etc. But your voice was much better in the Grace Kelly recording. Hope this helps.
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Hello everybody. This is the first time I’ve posted on the updated Feedback Forum. Please feel free to provide feedback on my performace and recording quality.
Crayola Markers
Crayola Color Wonder Markers color only on special paper. So your kids can express their creativity more often … In more places … with less mess.
Crayola Color Wonder. It starts with Crayola.-
Hi Erik. I liked it as well. Great voice, tone, pacing, etc. The only, very minor thing that stood out to me a bit was that, to my ear, the word “creativity” felt the tiniest bit over-enunciated. I know finding that balance, between good enunciation and sounding natural/conversational, can be a tough one. Overall, great read! Toque
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I’m very early into my Commercial training and am trying to apply my coach’s comments after Lesson #1 to this and future reads. Some of those are: have a point of view, be connected to the copy, be conversational and engaging and don’t present, – talk. I’m also getting closer to creating a good recording environment at home but not there yet so forgive the typical newbie tech issues. Appreciate any and all feedback.
Audi
Why did we need to go to the moon? To make footprints in the dust? No, it was to make the unreachable reachable, to inspire people everywhere to do what couldn’t be done. At Audi, it inspired us too. The countdown has begun to put Quattro through its toughest test: the moon’s surface. With the technology that took on the Earth’s elements, we’ll drive in the footsteps of those first astronauts, pushing our knowledge forward. Why do we need to go to the moon? We don’t, we choose to do it, because now, maybe more than ever, choosing the moon brings out the best in us.
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This is great! I honestly think car commercials can be super challenging, as they tend to be a bit grandiose (and almost melodramatic) for what they are advertising. (Given the season, we’re being bombarded with those “a car is a great Xmas gift for your spouse” commercials and they are driving my SO insane, haha.) Your voice is a perfect match for the sort of “this is bigger than a car” premise of the spot, and I loved your pacing. Awesome job!
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Hi again all. A couple of comparatively different pieces today. Honest feedback is appreciated, and thanks so much to all who have commented on yesterday’s post!
Allstate script: Truth is, motorcycle insurance costs about the same. What’s not the same, is the coverage. Now you can get the AllState protection you need.. for a price you can
afford. Talk to an All State agent today. Are you in good hands?Pier 1 Sale script: Hi, my name is Ron and for the next two weeks, I’ll be saying the word “and” a lot and I’m
pretty sure it’s because the Pier 1 Sale is going on now and it will end on January 10 and
yeah, that’s soon, scary, and I know that you can come to your local Pier 1 store to save up
to 50%, and sometimes more, on yummy scented candles and cool upholstered chairs and
really pretty mirrors and colorful pillows that are so, so cute and bedroom furniture that is
like real legitimate wood and oh, and this storage ottoman that is CHEETAH and how cool
is it that it’s CHEETAH and I really want it and I’m probably going to get it and maybe some
of that super cool dinnerware and maybe some new barstools for my new place AND some
bookshelves because I have a ton of books and little sparkly things and I really just want
my place to look nice, so why wouldn’t I get it before January 10 while it’s up to 50% off at
the Pier 1 Sale and is that a harp sound? I like harps-
Kudos to both performances!
The Pier 1 ad is super-intimidatingly long. You did a great job and I don’t envy you haha. It might take a few more runs than it’s worth, but if I were you I’d try jam packing as quickly as you can through it, a bit to the point of absurdity. Then when you slow it back down a bit, you can navigate it real quick. I just imagine that if this were say a radio ad, you might have to stuff the entire ad into a tiny timeslot. proportionally this one is tough. Not saying you did anything wrong, just a ‘variation’ I’d have up my sleeve if this is a situation you think you might find yourself in later
kind regards,
Alex -
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Hi Toque, great reads! Allstate was good – very straightforward and comfortable / authentic. Pier 1 was totally cracking me up! I could really hear the smile in your voice and the inflections were all over the place (in a good way, especially for this script), which made it really fun to listen to as the story was being told. I think too for this script which is basically a run-on sentence, your choice of where to take breaths seemed very natural as well. Really nice work! Loved it.
Mary
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I thought both were very well done. The tone you chose for the Allstate was great conversational – it made me feel like we were friends and you were giving me solid advice based on personal experience.
Pier 1 was a killer! It felt like I was listening to a performance with 3-4 different and distinct characters. You seamlessly moved from one to another, bringing up the level of energy and amazement each time. Great choice of key words and phrases to emphasize and the variations you used to differentiate the contents of the list in the middle of the script were textbook to my ears. If there were any technical mistakes, I didn’t hear them because I was drawn into the story you were telling. Bravo!
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Thank you I appreciate the positive feedback! I have a coaching session today so I will see what my coach mentions about genres and niches my voice fits. I may be over thinking it but I’m so concerned with where to market myself as I don’t want to market myself in an area I don’t fit because that is like just bashing your head into a wall LOL
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Hello all! Here is a recording (that I recorded on my phone) for any and all feedback. Looking for commercials that I can relate to, and boxing suits that for me (no sparring, only bags) thanks!
Mary
Fit and Fight
Do you want to be fit? Do you want to fight? Well, let’s go! Fit and Fight is the only gym where you can fight to get fit, get fit to fight, or do both. Get fit with an IFBB world champion bodybuilder. Learn to fight with a German amateur boxing champion. And did I mention it’s a friendly gym? Well, it isn’t. If you want a friend, get a dog. If you want to get fit and learn how to fight, you know where you need to be: Fit and Fight.-
Hi Mary! First of all, I LOVED the way you did the two “lists” in this copy. Lists are the hardest for me to nail without getting too monotonous. I do think that this would benefit from a more aggressive read – the speaker is basically commanding us to go to a hard-core gym where the “product” (such as it is – getting fit) won’t be provided in a touchy-feely way. I think something more authoritative would help get the message across. I did love your delivery about getting a dog if you want a friend – it made me chuckle. I think you’ve got the basic foundation for this copy down in terms of pacing – just… be more intimidating!
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Hi Reeyab, thanks for the feedback! I really have to work on lists too. I will try for a more aggressive and authoritative read and reload one of these days soon. This script was interesting to me – like you say it is pushing people to push themselves without a lot of hand-holding. Thanks again!
Mary
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In my opinion, this is one of the few exception in voice over where you have to take a VERY accusative tone to the listener. It’s definitely a mood shift; needs to be high energy and short bursts. Each punctuation should be like a solid right hook, haha.
Here’s a scene from Ali : Muhamad Ali responding to the Vietnam war – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XwYh8FZzdQ
same kinda energy needs to flow. -
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Mary, the pace of your read was good. In addition you enunciated clearly. The copy is for a fight gym, your energy level needs to match the copy. But overall good read.
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Hi Mary. Overall a good read. The one note I might make is something I struggle with as well – Energy. It just feels a bit like you’re holding back on the excitement/enthusiasm for the gym. Toque
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Hi Toque, thanks for the feedback! Yes, I do struggle with energy as well. For a gym read I agree that it needs to be full of energy, but this one also has a no-nonsense vibe, like hey we’re here if you want to work for it, but we’re not going to chase you down or bend over backwards to be a “friendly gym”, you have to want to be fit to come here, So, for that reason I tried for a more take it or leave it approach (however they may not be what the advertising world wants). Thanks again! Really appreciate it.
Mary
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Hey everyone!
Trying to record my first (commercial) demo without a VO coach! (pandemic, am I right?) So be as critical as you please. I’m going to do more stuff with edge soon, but for right now this is my first shot at it.Thanks!
Script:
*You love coffee. You do! It’s the first thing in the morning that makes you say Ahh!!! David’s – fresh campfire roast – coming soon.
*Oh deary me no, no that wont work at all. My sweet cheeks deserve the 4 ply strength only charmin can provide. When nature calls, I call the front desk, and ask for Charmin.
*I was so out of luck, I felt like I was checking the Amish section of farmers-only.com, but when I switched Westbank united, things looked … hopeful. Now when I check my savings account I don’t have to worry.
*A: “It’s taco night!~~”
B: “Yesyesyesyesyes, I love taco night!”
A: “We won’t tell your dad we’re using Hank’s vegan chili again”
B: “I can’t wait, are you going to start cooking now?”
A: “soon enough”
B: “It’s so good. It makes me say muuuuy deliscioso…ahem*You’re listening to our non-stop kids hour podcast; next up is Oliver’s Fox Squad, here on KidsChoice, the only podcast just for you!
*If you’re looking for insurance for whatever life throws your way, then you need to get Bryant Family Life Security.
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Hi Alex!
Impressive. Great range in voices for each script, and varying your tone and pitch.
My feedback:
I understand as a voice actor we need to interpret the script for delivery; what the client wants, but we also need to read the script as written (no adding or eliminating words, pausing).
Script 3: You said “to”, but forgot to include it in your script here. I am sure it was a minor typing error. I also noticed a micro-pause in your sentence, “Now when I check my savings account I don’t have to worry.” Unless it’s built into the script, again, watch for pausing mid-sentence. (I noticed it in script 2, as well. Minor, but noticeable.)
Audio and production quality sounded good on my end.
Just my thoughts. Overall, great job!
Thank you, too, for the feedback.
Kathy
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Hi Amitofu. First, thanks so much for your great feedback on my posting below. Really appreciate it.I’ll make my comments for each of your reads in the order they appear:
First read: Sounds great!
Second read:Not sure if that’s an English accent you’re trying to effect, or just a bit of a character accent? If English (and as someone with an English mother, grandmother, etc) I’d say it’s so-so and could use some work. My coach’s advice has been to avoid doing accents unless they’re “spot on”.
Third read: Great also – just one minor bit of slurring the word “savings” in “savings account”.
Fourth read: Great.
Fifth read: (Oliver’s Fox Squad) – I loved this one! I can easily imagine hearing it on a promo during Saturday morning cartoons!
Sixth read: Also very good. As with Mary’s comments, I’m impressed with the range of voices you have. Great work!
Toque.
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Thanks so much. I definitely appreciate you going into detail and I’m glad you found my feedback helpful as well. The second voice was essentially a character voice. I’ve never really practiced an authentic British accent; ‘maybe’ in the distant future I’ll attempt one but this wasn’t meant to be an example, haha.
Thanks again.
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Hi Amitofu! Wow, really nice variation of reads with great production. Each segment showed a very nice sample of your voice and each segment had great emotion and authenticity. All of the segments seem really suited for your voice, and all of them sounded like they are already out there. Very good!
Mary
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Here is a short Bio narration of one of my favorite writers , My coach wanted me to post some of recordings for critic, help me out guys!
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Hi MrTripo9, good read! You have a nice warm, rich voice that seems good for this script. I would agree too in that some words were hard to understand, some of them for me were burials and genre.
I realize too this is for practice, but there were a couple of extra words (not typed at least) that were added into what you read. If this were a paying gig, the person who hired you might take offense to the script not being read exactly as written.
“but he made his living as Americas first literary critic and theoretician” was read as
“but he made his living as Americas first great literary critic and a theoretician
Otherwise good read!Mary
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Off the top of my head, I would say you at least need a little emphasis on the first mention of the name “Poe” especially since it’s one syllable and the subject of your read. I would also say the ennunciation overall need to be both polished and made more fluid. No offence but it sounds like English might not be your first language. Words that stood out: Madmen, Burials, Returned, inventor, modern, innovator, genre, literary, theoretician. Between the pronociation and the rhythm it made it a little chaotic.
Not horrible, but as voice over artists, we need to be clear every word – the audience can never ask us afterward what we said. Reading out loud and parroting audio you hear carefully, will improve you quickly I think.Good luck!
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The name poe brings to mind images of murderous madmen, premature burials and mysterious women who returned form the dead. He is widely acknowledged as the inventor of the modern detective story and an innovator in the science fiction genre , but he made his living as Americas first literary critic and theoretician
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Hi Michelle! Welcome! I like you voice – very nice and friendly and with good clarity. There seemed to be some unnecessary pauses in a couple of spots, but that’s a minor point. For me I typically have to read and re-read and get really familiar with the script, then when I record it flows a little better. Overall good job, keep it up!
Mary
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Hey. Good read overall; I’m just going to touch on things that (I think) could use improvement.
Voice acting-wise: It needs a little more energy/believability. The inflections were mostly-all good and there, but they felt underpowered if that makes sense. If I were trying to give the read, I would imagine that I were a warm teacher giving confident(~authoritative) yet nurturing caring advice (“Nature’s Way is the obvious choice”. It also felt like the word “Sambucas” could use a bit of tweaking, especially since it’s part of the brand name. Try several variations and practices until it sounds second nature. Overall not bad for a first read though.
The technical aspect: This part overshadowed the Acting part because it was the first and last part I noticed initially. I’m not sure what your personal context is so take as needed. If you’re just practicing/honing your skills then absolutely do that first before dumping excessive amounts of money into proper equipment/environment treatment. That being said
– There’s a steady hum/hiss throughout the clip that will absolutely rend any audio engineer’s ear.
– You had a number of both plosives and rustlings in the clip. There’s also minor things in the background. Some things you might not be able to control because of your budget, but using a popfilter (or pencil trick) and some other actor techniques, will cut down on the quality being effected.
– There was a subtle echo where you can just tell the room isn’t sound treated. It wasn’t super-noticable, but its something you want to be aware of when you do sound treatment in the future because not even the best DAW or microphone will help you remove it AFTER you record, short of a pact with the devil.
– If you’re just starting out, don’t worry about this til late game but using a custom EQ will help compliment your voice.but, like I said, if you’re just starting out or just messing around for practice, don’t hyper-focus on the technical/equipment aspect; training your voice always comes first. So those were my thoughts anyway. I don’t mean to be harsh, and I only say as much as I did because I know there’s a deep well of potential.
Cheers on your journey! Keep at it.
(ps – traditionally auditions are submitted in .mp3 files and final project in .wav files – yours is in .m4a > minor detail to look out for in the future, but also probably why your attachment didn’t appear with a handy-dandy website embeded player for this forum.)
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