Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello everyone!
While I am working towards a narration demo, I like to switch it up now and then for practice. I decided to put together two different (non-Edge Library) promos for Friday’s feedback. One is for TV identification, and the other is for a radio station. (I had to warm up a bit, so I was thinking warm weather with the radio spot!)
Let me know what you think. All feedback is appreciated! (P.S. Any noise in the background is from my laptop. Still working on a desk setup.)
Kathy
WCAX Channel 3
You’re watching, WCAX, Channel 3. Burlington, Plattsburgh, Montreal.
STAR 94.3
Your choice for Kauai’s best music from the 80’s, 90’s, and Now … Star 94.3.
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Hi Kathy, Nice reads on both of these! I think your pace and tone were good on both. The TV spot had a relaxed, PBS kind of vibe so I would guess that’s the kind of programming they have on that channel. The radio spot had good energy, based on what kind of music I’m guessing they play.
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Hi Kathy! Good reads! Very clear and good pace and variation in the list of cities in the first one. I liked in the second script how I could hear the smile in your voice, especially for “the 80’s” (a decade which I happen to really love). Good job!
Mary
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I like the first read. Nice pacing enunciation and just overall.
The second read was good too, I think. If I were looking for things to practice, for this read in particular, I would make SURE that’s how one pronounces ‘Kauai’ (I have no clue if you said it right or wrong; it’s just good practice to researching/confirming specific (especailly cultural) pronuciations), as well as repeat “Star 94.3” out loud until it’s a reflexive part of your vocabulary, like your dog’s name. To get a warm read out of a brand name, we (VO) kind of have to force familiarity. Not saying yours lacked either, just sharing a hypothetical routine.
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Thanks, Amitofu, for the feedback on both!
I made sure about Kauai. I listen to this station on an app. (It really does play a nice variety of music from the 80’s to now! It’s pronounced like Hawaii, but with a K.) I also did a documentary narration script for Kauai for one of my lessons.
Thanks again!
Kathy
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I am doing two versions a ab-libed a bit. Mary did this the other day and I think this is one of the best scripts I have heard really as well as her read. I just had to play around with this. Thanks for listening.
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Yeah! I love scripts like these. I could tell you were getting into it; it had good energy.
In terms of feedback, I hope I don’t sound overly-pragmatic, but one thing I had to learn through error is ‘clipping’ the microphone. I really really really love when I can be as crazy as I want in front of the microphone, but one thing I had to learn is how to put the same energy into my voice without raising the volume very much. The more sensitive your microphone (generally) the easier it is to blow out the sound/distort it by going too loud. So for practice, yeah, swing for the parks (vocal health first of course). Just understand that if you want to use that voice professionally, you’ll need to compliment that understanding with how to work under the limits of your mic. It may feel like you’re putting a silencer on a shotgun, but you get better at it the more you practice and play with your gain and mic distance. And I’m just stating because I don’t know how much you do or don’t know, but clipping is where the waveform you see when recording “hits the roof and floor limits” and causes distortion.
The British take was funny. but kinda had the opposite problem. I am absolutely NOT discouraging you from trying it. Please keep at it. But despite the fluidity and confidence you had, when a person doesn’t or can’t raise their voice above a certain level, it’s a dead giveaway that raising it above it presses their boundaries of that voice too hard. I guess in a word, it was obviously not your second-skin so to speak; which just takes practice and challenging that practice. When you can comfortably shout as a character is when you really have the reins, in my opinion.
Just things to keep in mind throughout your journey. Not knocking your efforts. Keep at it til you’re a master of disguise!
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Hi Robert! These are great! I like the music too. Fun script, right? I was laughing at this as I was listening! I like the ad-libbed parts too. Script 1 was good, excellent and pushy, which felt right for the tone of the script. I’m going to have to re-record mine one of these days soon and get a stronger tone / attitude. The third read cracked me up! Totally the opposite approach but also really effective. Fun accent on that one! Great job all around 🙂
Mary
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Hi all, Looking for feedback please. Thanks! Alexis
Script for telephony:
Thank you for calling Abigail Jane’s Flowers,
your friendly neighborhood florist for weddings and all of your special occasions.
To speak with a floral consultant, press 1
To place an order, press 2
To speak with Genevieve Thompson in arranging, press 3
To speak with Abigail Jane Frailey, press 4
To leave a message in the company mail box, press 5-
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Hi Alexis! I really liked this. Your voice is very pleasant and smooth-sounding, perfect for this script. Great variation in listing out the options, really good work!
Mary
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Sounds really good! definitely couldn’t of done better myself. I would say your ‘s’ sounds kinda peek through a little too sharply. You can approach this either with a de-esser in your DAW or by adjusting your technique, but someone else is probably better qualified to show you how.
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Very nice, Alexis! You defiantly have the voice for telephony. I like how you changed your pitch with each line, but kept the same tone throughout.
Keep it up!
Kathy
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Hi everyone! Here is a recording (recorded on my phone, please bear with me) for any and all feedback. This is a very different sort of read for me, not sure if it is a good fit. I’ve heard it read a couple of different ways so far by others who had a different take on it. The script itself really drew me in and really gave me an interesting visual during the read. I don’t know how to edit yet, so please excuse the loud click at the end. Let me know what you think!
Mary
I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try to help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already racing heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?-
Hi Mary!
You defiantly did a great job varying your tone and pitch! I can see why you went for a teasing/taunting delivery. It makes sense, however, to echo Alexis, try adding a little more meanness and sarcastic tone to your delivery. Make sense?
Kathy
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Hi Kathy, thanks for the feedback. Yes, totally makes sense to try for more meanness and a more sarcastic tone: I will try again soon. For some reason I can sound sarcastic easier than sounding mean. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi Mary, Good job with your pace and clarity. You had some nice pitch variation to keep things interesting. One comment that I have might sound a bit weird, but, you sound almost too friendly 🙂 In the script these are stressful, awful feelings like tight chest and racing heart and as the voice of the anxiety that is causing all these symptoms, I might expect you to sound more mean about being the one who is causing them. It could be a fun take to try to be more mean-spirited and have that kind of tension in the read, just an idea.
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Thanks for the feedback Alexis! I was wondering how it came off (friendly vs. menacing / mean). I will work on this one again. I was visualizing anxiety in this case as a teasing taunting sort of vibe, like a voice that you can’t get out of your head and what would that sound like. Thanks again! Very helpful.
Mary
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Hello everyone! Wow, pretty slick new interface on the Feedback Forum! Just getting back into the saddle after a bit of a hiatus and what better subject than a little spiel for Jack Daniels whiskey:
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Here in Lynchburg, Tennessee you can still pause on a Sunday walk to talk to your
neighbors about the lack of rain in the mountains and lack of sense in Washington.You can still pick enough wild blueberries to fill a bucket on a lazy summer afternoon,
—though I’ll wager more of ’em end up in your belly than in your bucket.And when the sun hits it just right, you can still see the old tin roof of the distillery
where Jack Daniel made his world-renowned whiskey.Like everything here, we still make our whiskey in a slow and unhurried fashion, just like ole Jack did back in 1866.
One sip and you’ll be glad to know we still take our time when we make our whiskey.
Jack Daniels…smooth sipping Tennessee whiskey.
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Raw, at-home recording. Trying for a natural, folksy read leaning into my natural accent (which I usually try to squelch!) All feedback is welcome, thanks for taking the time to listen!
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Hi Rogue 1 – Really nice! I really love your smooth easy-flowing drawl – it really suits this script! I like how you stretched out certain words out like “pause”, “lazy”, “just”, and “smooth”. Nice and unhurried and painted a nice visual of the commercial. Really nice read!
Mary
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Hi Everyone!
I’ve recently started exploring VO and heading down the path of narration. Hoping for some feedback on my first assignment as I continue working toward a demo. I appreciate any tips, advice, thoughts!
History Channel – Ancient Aliens Script
Is the U.S. Government covering up the truth about alien contact…and if so, why.
Could the government have a secret agenda… one known to only a select few… and perhaps dating back hundreds of years.
On Dec 16, 2017….The New York Times ran an explosive story…. entitled “Glowing Auras and Black Money: ….The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program…. It was the first time the American public learned of a top-secret US government project… the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program otherwise known as AATIP.Laser Dentistry
Lasers are changing the way fearful patients feel about dentistry. Our doctor uses state-of-the-art soft touch lasers for gentle, effective treatments in all facets of our care. From deep cleanings to root canal therapy, lasers offer a virtually pain free dental experience. We also use lasers to gently numb teeth, eliminate decay, and fill cavities without the need for numbing shots or drilling. And when you experience 21st-Century laser technology, combined with our gentle touch and compassionate care, you’ll see dentistry in a whole new light! Schedule your appointment today.Tax Fundamentals
On this episode, we’re talking about: Deductions
So let’s say you’re single with a job as a lion tamer. You live alone, have no dependents, and your yearly income is eighty eight thousand dollars.
You have two choices when it comes to deductions: You can itemize your deductions, or take the standard deduction.
The lion food is an example of an itemized deduction. You can claim multiple itemized deductions but there are limits for each tax bracket and rules around each deduction.
The standard deduction is a fixed amount associated with your filing status and tax bracket. If you don’t want to add up all your expenses, the IRS allows you to just take the standard deduction. If your itemized deductions don’t add up to a lot, taking the standard deduction instead can often save you more money on your taxes.
So that’s the skinny of Tax Deductions. Want to learn more, CTA. Thanks for watching Tax Fundamentals.-
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Hi BBaranek! Welcome! All three of these scripts were very nice and clear with good pacing and enunciation. Your voice seems really well-suited for narration – not too over the top but with a nice variation in emphasized words throughout all of the reads which made for interesting listening. All 3 were good, but I feel like the one on taxes was the best of these 3. That read sounded the most natural and authentic to you. Very good!
Mary
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Hello friends! Here is a recording (done on my phone) for any and all feedback. Enough energy? not enough energy? Authentic? Let me hear what you think. Thanks!
Mary
Duluth – Pullover Logo Hoodie
You’ve busted your backside to get where you’re at – and now it’s high time you eased up some. Here’s the way to do it – in plush Duluth Trading Sweats that feel laid-back, even when you pull a double-shift. Two hand-warmer pockets fend off frostnip, and ribbed cuffs bounce back from rough treatment. And that Duluth logo shows you know quality construction when you see it. Get yours at Duluthtrading.com-
Hi Mary! Have you tried lowering your tone, but still keeping the energy? Does that make sense? Overall, it was a good read.
Kathy
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It’s a good read Mary! You definitely sound authentic to me. I have one comment I’d like to put out there for you and others that is not so much about your read as it is about commercial reads in general and how to approach them. I keep hearing that “conversational”, “person next door” reads are the way to go. But I listened to a number of actual commercials yesterday on the ispottv website, and noticed that, to me anyway, there appear to be a number that really don’t sound all that “conversational”. Car commercials especially stood out, but there were others, like a “scrubbing bubbles” toilet cleaner commercial, that sounds very “charactery” (sorry if that’s not a great descriptive). So it just leaves me struggling a bit as to when we should be going “natural”, versus maybe a bit charactery/over-the-top? I guess it all depends on what the piece’s/client’s direction is? Would love to hear what others think. T
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This is a great point, Toque. While I am not doing commercial at the moment, I don’t hear the conversational/natural sound in many commercials I hear, either. It’s all pretty announcer-y and energetic (character, as you say). The only exceptions I can think of is the Sam Elliott (Coors, Dodge, etc.) style commercials.
I am in narration at the moment, and I hear the conversational approach, as well. It makes more sense, but I do struggle with “vision your audience”.
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Hi Toque, thanks for the feedback. Yeah for sounding more authentic! I’ve been working on that.
I too keep hearing about how we should sound more and more conversational, and to have a very specific listener in mind. I agree that there are so many quirky commercials with characters out there lately. I do think it depends on your audience, like who are you trying to convince to buy or do something? Is it a friend? A mentee? a Co-worker? A family member? Good questions. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi there! Here is a piece I will be working on with my coach for my narration demo. This piece is EXTREMELY important to me and thought I would practice it and post it. I’m really trying to sound more spontaneous and conversational so I have a specific listener in mind and I want to help listeners of this “women’s history” documentary understand how they should FEEL about what they are hearing. Some excitement, some frustration over the limitations women had to live with. ANYWAYS any feedback is appreciated. I hope I”m able to convey what I want to.
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I promise, this is the last car commercial for a while then it’s onto different Commercial sub-genres. In general, the more I practice these, the more connected I feel to the copy – funny how that works out! However, there is what I hear and feel that may be different than what you as the audience hears. Thanks in advance for your feedback.
Silverado
The all new Silverado HD adds to the legendary capability of the strongest, most advanced Silverados ever. With best in-class camera technology and larger, more functional beds than any competitor, the only truck that can compare to a Silverado, is another Silverado.
Truck month is the right time to get behind the wheel of a Chevy Silverado. Get zero percent financing for 72 months, plus five hundred dollars cash allowance on all Silverado 1500 crew cab pickups. Montclair NJ drives Chevy. Find new roads.
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Hi Chas! I really like car commercials for your voice, great genre. Great pacing, emphasized words and pauses throughout. The “Find new roads” had an uncertain-sound to it, my take on the commercial is that you are encouraging people to explore and try new things (allegedly, a Silverado!), so that should sound more decisive / authoritative, which would also match the rest of the tone of the script. Very good!
Mary
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Ok, I originally nested this under another user’s post and I’m afraid it may get buried (and many apologies for Bil-Bo for hijacking his thread). At any rate, I’m snowed in in the Hudson Valley and decided that today I would practice PSAs. One of the things that I am working on in VO technique in general is trying to make sure that I don’t record every piece in the same cadence (no one likes monotony) and also trying to keep my voice from dipping down at the end of sentences so I don’t lose words or sound grumpy. Any feedback to that effect would be appreciated, though of course I’m open to all types of feedback! Caveat: still soundproofing my office so if you hear weird room noise or wind (the storm is still a-stormin’) please forgive me. 🙂
American Cancer Society
It’s tough to quit smoking. Just ask any of the 50 million Americans who continue to puff away, even though they know the toll it takes on health and longevity. When it comes to breaking this lethal habit, the most effective tool is willpower. The American Cancer Society now offers a free video for those smokers who feel they can’t quit alone. Call the AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY today, at 1-800-575-2424.ASPCA
As we enjoy the beauty of the winter season, and the snow gently falls. Something else happens. Temperatures drastically drop. And so do the chances for survival, for an animal who’s trapped without protection. The unlucky ones won’t make it until spring. These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me? Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant. My friend I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.National MS Society
One of the few times we are aware of movement is when it suddenly stops. Multiple Sclerosis stops people from moving. We exist to make sure it doesn’t. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS…and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. Join the movement at NationalMSSociety.org.-
Hello again Reeyab! You have inspired me to try the “I am Anxiety” read. I would love to know what you think about it! There seem to be so many ways to read this one. Thank you!
Mary
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Hi Reeyab, very nice reads! They all sounded well-paced and very clear. I like how you were able to vary your tone depending on the reads and the mood of the piece for each one. I did not hear dipping down at the end of sentences.
Script 1: Good conversational tone, felt like I was talking with a friend who wanted to help me quit smoking.
Script 2: Very good tone and emotion, softer and appropriate for the topic.
Script 3: Good read. The tone sounded a little on the angry side vs. the “anxiety / crazy” tone, just my opinion on how anxiety sounds, and I believe it could sound different to everyone. I like your direct interpretation.
Script 4: Good readOverall really good job!
Mary
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Hi reeyab!
Really good job in changing your tone in each read!
Script 1: Perhaps raise your tone and pitch on American Cancer Society?
Script 2: I noticed you dipped in tone at the end of “Something else happens.” Just a tad. It was still clear, to me. Be mindful of pausing mid-sentence, not in the script. (These abused and neglected animals are shivering in the cold and desperately trying to stay alive, but for many of them, time is running out. And that’s why we urgently need your help today.)
Script 3: Nice work!
Script 4: Slight micro pause in first sentence. Minor.
Tried my best to give feedback since your recordings are only coming through on the left side.
On the snow front, the mid to southern Green Mountains got walloped as well! I am more north, but we’ll get it soon enough. Good day to stay in!
Keep it up!
Kathy
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