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  • #60268
    L.Renee
    Participant

    Your honest opinion is very much needed for my growth 🙂

    “The Truth About Fairies”

    Do you believe in fairies? They are not as friendly as once thought. First they bite. It feels like a little pick; a sting on the skin. When it begins to glow, that is what you have to be careful of. Then you’re in for quite a rush, my dear boy. You see, their glittery skin, their sprinkling wings, and glowing smiles – it’s all just a trick; and they love to play tricks, especially on the ones that are fond of them. You think we are evil?… we are devilish, these little girls (if you choose to call them that) are much more darker than we.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by L.Renee. Reason: (file size too large)
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    • #60298
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi L Renee! I liked this read! Your voice has a nice rich texture. Great variation in tone and pace of the script which then created a creepy vibe about fairies. Well done!

      Mary

  • #60267
    L.Renee
    Participant

    -A bit of editing trouble please bear with me (I’m learning Audacity) …All feedback is welcomed & embraced, so please let me know what you think 🙂

    “A Haunting Tale”

    In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places.
    These are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable.
    Between the world we see and the things we fear.
    There are doors.
    When they are opened.
    Nightmares become reality.

    • #60271
      L.Renee
      Participant

      (Initial file was too large)

      “A Haunting Tale”

      In this world, there is real evil.
      In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places.
      These are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable.
      Between the world we see and the things we fear.
      There are doors.
      When they are opened.
      Nightmares become reality.

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      • #60299
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi L. Renee! This was a good read. I like the warmness and low tone of your voice, and this script really had some tension and pauses which created a visual of evil things, very well-suited to this genre. Very good!

        Mary

  • #60263
    SLJones
    Participant

    Hello beautiful people,

    This is a monologue from a TV show, which highlights a woman’s difficulty accepting that her allure in the eyes of men might be fading. I thought that a slightly breathy read might be most appropriate. I recorded it in my home studio. I know there are a few mouth clicks (I’ll be sure to eat a Gala apple and drink plenty of water in advance next time). But what are your thoughts aside from that? Much appreciated!

    Here is the text:

    It’s a dance. A dance no one had to teach me, a dance I’d known since I first saw my reflection in my father’s eyes. My partners have been princes and starving artists, Greek gods and clowns, and every one of them certain they led. But it’s always my dance. I make the first move, which is no move at all. I always just understand that they will eventually find themselves in front of me, primitive, beautiful animals and their bodies responding to the inevitability of it all. It’s my dance, and I have performed it with finesse and abandon with countless partners. Only the faces change, and all this time, I never suspected that the night would come, when the dance would end.

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    • #60318
      RYoung
      Participant

      Great work on this “sultry” delivery! I would just tighten it up a bit and leave out the long pauses, I think it would still sound great.

      • #60356
        SLJones
        Participant

        Hi RYoung! Thank you so much! Yes, I was going for something a bit on the sultry side haha. Good call regarding the pauses, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again!

    • #60301
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi SL Jones, nice read! I agree with the tone of how you read it, the character sounds resigned to the reality of how things are happening to her. Good work!

      Mary

      • #60308
        SLJones
        Participant

        Hiya Mary! Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment. I appreciate it so very much. Let me go check out some of your recordings! All the best!

        • #60349
          mkell755
          Participant

          You are welcome SLJones! It’s so interesting to hear all the variation in everyone’s voice 🙂 Thanks!

          Mary

    • #60285
      Official81
      Participant

      I really like the breathy take here it suits the script and gives it an edge that makes you want to listen to the end. Very nice!

      • #60312
        SLJones
        Participant

        Hello! I’m so glad you think going the breathy route was a good idea. Much appreciated! All the best in your VO journey!

  • #60258
    Beckolin
    Participant

    Hi Forum!
    Heading toward making my narration demo, and this is one of the possible contenders. Not recorded in my booth, so don’t really need any comments on editing or recording quality, just on vocal interpretation. Thanks!

    Respect and good communication go hand in hand.
    Employees who feel comfortable talking with their colleagues and supervisors are empowered to address safety issues and other challenges.
    In workplaces where there is a lack of respect and openness, employees may adopt a mindset of “it’s not my problem” when issues arise.

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    • #60303
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Breckolin! Very good read! You have a nice authoritative tone which was really appropriate for this. Great clarity, pacing and flow. Really nice!

      Mary

    • #60289
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Really nice read! I like this for your voice, I think it fits nicely. You have an authoritative tone. Is this a corporate onboarding script? There were a few times I thought you could maybe slow down a tad, but maybe my brain is just tired from my long day lol. Here “safety issues and other challenges.” and “respect and openness,” could just be me. nice work!!

    • #60284
      Official81
      Participant

      Lovely read! And congratulations on preparations for you narration demo! I’m excited for you! You sounded fabulous, you definitely hit it.

    • #60261
      SLJones
      Participant

      Hello!

      First, congrats on moving towards your narration demo! I think this is great- good cadence, clear, tone is consistent throughout. Best of luck to you!

  • #60239
    Eunice LaLanne
    Participant

    Hi Community! If you have some time during this busy holiday season, I’d love to get some feedback on my reading of these two commercials (especially feedback on my tempo and hitting key words). Thank you! (Scripts are below for your reference).

    JC Penney 6 script
    Your brain has two sides. The right side: creative, buys things, has fun. The left side: organized, practical, saves money. Now JC Penney makes both sides happy. It’s the buy more, save more sale. It’s simple, the more you buy, the more you save. 20 to 30%. So use your head. Buy more. Save more. Only at JC Penney.

    Dove Sensitive Skin script
    There are products made for sensitive skin. But there’s nothing quite like sensitive skin dove – It’s the mildest, perfume free sensitive skin bar ever made. No wonder Doves the one that dermatologists recommend most to keep your skin looking healthy and feeling soft. Dove. For the beauty that’s already there.

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    • #60283
      Official81
      Participant

      Loved your reads! Have you ever considered doing kid scripts? Your voice is extremely youthful I think you would do well in that genre! Your voice has a lot of versatility, keep up the great work!

      • #60286
        Eunice LaLanne
        Participant

        Yes, that’s my goal to do voiceover for children’s programming – thank you so much!

    • #60251
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Eelalannee! Good reads!
      Script 1: JC Penney – good energy throughout. I realize this is for practice but I heard a couple of extra words inserted into the script. “The right side: (is) creative…” and “The left side: organized (and) practical,…” Also the “to” in between “20 to 30% got smushed / shortened, it sounded like “20 t 30%”, (just the “t” sound but not the word). I tend to do that too, so I notice it when I hear it. Also, “The left side” raised in pitch, as if it were a question, not a period. These are small things 🙂

      Script 2: Dove – great flow, pacing and clarity. I like the lead in “I mean” at the beginning of the read, helped it sound more natural and conversational. Great energy and enthusiasm throughout. Good job, keep it up!

      Mary

      • #60252
        Eunice LaLanne
        Participant

        Ah yes, thanks for pointing those issues out, Mary. I greatly appreciate your feedback!

  • #60231
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Woodies

    I hate Woodies! I’m the only dog on the block that doesn’t get any love, and I tell ya, I’m fed up! It’s just Woodies, Woodies, Woodies … every doggone day. She never has time for me anymore. When I want to romp in the park — “Sorry, darling. Mummy has to go to Woodies to buy a new dress.” When I want to play fetch the stick — “Not now, Canine Cutey, WOODIES is having a sale on shoes.” I thought it was supposed to be a dog’s world out there. If only I were a cat! (Meow SFX)

    Stella Artois Beer

    Of course Stella Artois tastes better than other beers. We’ve had over 600 years to get the recipe right. Since 1366 Stella Artois has been painstakingly brewed in a time honored tradition, using the choicest ingredients, which is why our customers have kept coming back for more even after 600 years. Stella Artois. Perfection has it’s price.

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    • #60282
      Official81
      Participant

      Hi Bil-Bo! Your contrast skills are untouchable! Excellent reads! Both sounded conversational, paced perfectly, and your range was presented nicely.

    • #60265
      SLJones
      Participant

      Bil- Bo- I absolutely cracked up at the first line of the “Woodies” script for rather obvious reasons (and I’m sure that this was written to inspire that very response). You have great skill in making the copy fun and I love your change in voice/accent. Seriously well done.

    • #60256
      Beckolin
      Participant

      Wow…you have phenomenal flexibility in your vocal character! I really enjoyed both reads, and as mkell755 said, it easily could have been two different people. Admirable 😉

    • #60243
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Bil-Bo! Great reads! I really liked the Woodies read, I’m impressed with your dog character voice! So gravelly and believable, and also the female voice worked well. I was really smiling through the whole thing. The production was great too, very professional and sounds like it is already out there.

      Nice variation in the Stella Artois read, these 2 scripts sound like they could easily have been from 2 different people. Very smooth and relaxed and believable, like you are telling a friend about it. Well done!

      Mary

  • #60229
    kfvoice
    Participant

    Another documentary. I’m trying not to sound like I am reading, and while this script is a short introduction, it did not flow well again. Perhaps nature reads are not my forte. All feedback is appreciated!

    Kathy

    Red Fox

    Possessing the legendary reputation for being cunning, the small and clever American Red Fox is respected throughout North America…

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    • #60281
      Official81
      Participant

      I absolutely love your voice it’s alluring. You didn’t sound like your reading to me at all. I’m a newbie to the industry and could be wrong in suggesting this, but I have read avidly since I was 7. I would have probably raised my pitch on that second vowel in “possEssing”. I have no idea why I would do that (lol) other than the fact that I read aloud a lot and kind of have an eye for where to add pitch and/or inflecting certain vowels or words. Hope this helps and VETERANS please let me know if this is a good tip. Excellent Job Kathy!

      • #60300
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thank you, Lexi, for the feedback! Noted! I truly appreciate it! — Kathy

    • #60257
      Beckolin
      Participant

      You know, the first thing I thought of was how separate each of your words were, especially at “small and clever.” Yes, pick and choose your emphasis words, but I think if you elide the ends of words into the beginning of the following word more often, it will improve the flow and continuity. Maybe think of the overall phrase as more like a line of music.

      • #60302
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Thanks, Beckolin! That’s a good tip! Appreciate it!

        Kathy

    • #60247
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Kathy! Good read. I think since the this is a documentary on the red fox I would emphasize “American Red Fox” more than the adjectives “small and clever” so as to let the listener know the subject they are about to learn more about. This is minor and just my interpretation of things. Good read!

      Mary

      • #60304
        kfvoice
        Participant

        Hi Mary!

        Good point! I am usually mindful of the minor details. Thanks again for the feedback!

        Kathy

  • #60218
    Robert Broussard
    Participant

    Thanks for any feedback. Getting close to working on commercial demo.

    Budweiser

    I’m just a regular guy who wants the same things everybody else wants, food, family, shelter, friends, and plenty of ice cold Budweiser. Just not necessarily in that order.

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    • #60280
      Official81
      Participant

      Oh Robert! This read made me interested in a Budweiser and I don’t even drink beer lol. Your voice and the accent you add are very authentic. You sound clear your pacing was brilliant and you definitely sounded as if you were speaking to a friend. Nice Job!

    • #60248
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Robert! I really liked this read for you, totally believable. I agree too with editing out the micro-pause after “guy”, would just be a smoother flow to complete the thought. Good emphasis on “ice cold Budweiser” too. Very good!

      Mary

    • #60228
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Robert — Nice production! This had me chuckling, lol.

      If you edit out the micro-pause after “guy”, and vary your pitch with the list, this would make the read flow smoother. Just my thoughts.

      Kathy

  • #60200
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello feedback friends! Here is a recording (on my phone) for any and all feedback. Let me know what you think. Thank you!

    Mary

    4/H
    It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands were not in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H sprouted roots. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders are not born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE

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    • #60279
      Official81
      Participant

      Great Job Mary! Sounded very nice and clear and I felt the pace and time were perfect for the script!

      • #60305
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Official81, really appreciate it! Definitely working on pacing and clarity. Thanks!

        Mary

    • #60234
      RYoung
      Participant

      Mary, you seem to have started off well in the first sentence, it sounded like your real voice and believable. This is obviously the goal and what we’re trying to do as voice actors believe me I struggle with this mightily. In your case simply speaking I would just be aware not to lift your pitch on the last word of your sentences it makes you sound sort of forced if that makes sense? You almost have to try and sound more boring than excited to get a believable read and one last thing I found was a roller coaster technique for inflecting if there’s no question in the sentence try and go up inflection early in the sentence and then down in the end, hope that helps.

      • #60235
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi RYoung, thanks for the feedback. I agree with not lifting pitch in general on the last word, so I will work on that. I have received a lot of comments on dialing up the energy, so trying to be mindful of doing that and not sounding boring; I tend to get monotone if not specifically thinking about making it sound conversational and varying pitch, but it needs to sound natural too. Thanks again, all good points!

        Mary

    • #60227
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Hi Mary! Good read! Nice enthusiasm, and pitch variation. Keep it up!

      Kathy

      • #60236
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Kathy! I’m definitely working on natural-sounding enthusiasm. I’ve never done 4/H but believe it is a very worthy program that teaches so many things. Thanks again!

        Mary

    • #60215
      Robert Broussard
      Participant

      Good read Mary. Very consistent pace and tone. Have you ever thought about reading screen play scripts and acting out a character’s part? I had a voice coach in the spring and she had me play Stanly in “Street Car Named Desire”. Just a thought. If can be fun as well.

      • #60237
        mkell755
        Participant

        Hi Robert, thanks for the feedback! I have not acted out character parts before but I like the idea of that, I will look for them and see what I can find. Thanks again!

        Mary

  • #60192
    Official81
    Participant

    Hello Feedback Friends! My name is Lexi and I am very new to the industry. I recorded practice scripts for AARP and Honey Bunches of Oats commercials on a NT1-A Rode Condensor Microphone that is connected to a Focusrite Scarlett Solo 3rd Generation 2i2o USB Audio Interface. Please let me know your thoughts and I thank you in advance. Happy Holidays.

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    • #60249
      Eunice LaLanne
      Participant

      Hi Lexi! I must say – I just love the sound of your voice. Great job on both commercials – the volume and tone are great in both recordings. The only piece of constructive feedback I’d have to give is that I can audibly hear you take big breaths in the AARP recording (which can be distracting). If possible, come up with some breathing techniques that will help you take in the amount of air you need without us listeners “hearing” it. Looking forward to hearing your other recordings!!

      • #60274
        Official81
        Participant

        Thank you so much for the feedback! I will definitely work on my breathing techniques.

    • #60226
      kfvoice
      Participant

      Welcome Lexi! Very good first reads!

      Nice job with the pitch in each one — in AARP, the pitch was subtle, yet warm and natural, while enthusiastic in the Honey Bunches of Oates read.

      Sound quality was good — I, too, have a NT1-A Rode condenser mic (with Rode interface). I love it!

      A few minor things to be mindful of: 1) I heard a couple of “lip smacks” between sentences in the first script, and 2) “Oats” in Honey Bunches of Oates seemed to lower in volume and tone.

      A tip: Sometimes it is easier to give feedback when we can see the scripts to compare with your read.

      Overall, keep it up! I hope my feedback is helpful!

      Kathy

      • #60277
        Official81
        Participant

        Thank you so much Kathy my apologies for not adding the actual script wording. I will definitely do that moving forward. And also thank you for pointing out those mouth noises! I will also practice smoothing out my word transitions between sentences. I really appreciate this, so glad you mentioned it! It’s great to recognize so that no bad habits are formed. Very grateful for your feedback.

    • #60202
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Lexi! Welcome to the forum! I like your voice – very smooth, warm and friendly, and I like how you varied up the 2 scripts for a nice contrast between both. Good clarity and pacing for both scripts. Good enthusiasm on the Honey Bunches of Oats. Keep it up!

      Mary

      • #60275
        Official81
        Participant
        • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Official81.
        • #60278
          Official81
          Participant

          Hello Mary! And thank you so much for listening to my practice reads. Greatly appreciate your feedback, I am happy to hear that the read sounded nice and clear for you. And I was kind of worried about my pacing so thank you for commenting in that regard. I am really enjoying the forum as well so thank you much for the warm welcome!

        • #60306
          mkell755
          Participant

          Hi Lexi, you are welcome! Pacing is tricky, really depends on the script for me. I look forward to hearing more from you!

          Mary

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