Feedback Forum
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The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication.
Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!
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Hello everyone! I am posting some more practice reads for my upcoming narration demo. All constructive feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!
American Airlines
Welcome aboard American Airlines coast-to-coast service. We’ll be happy to do everything possible to make your flight with us a most pleasurable experience. We’ll provide you with all the information you need to know about your flight, your destination, and the equipment on which you are currently flying. In addition, we are proud to present our American Airlines feature film presentation, for our transcontinental passengers. We’d like you now to remove the plastic insert found directly in front of you in the seat back pocket. Please review the safety information during the flight for your own protection, in the unlikely event of an in-flight emergency.Young Living Essential Oils
Thank you for calling Young Living Essential Oils
If you know your party’s extension, please dial it now.
To repeat this menu at any time, press 9.
For Order tracking, press 1.
For Sales, press 2UnStuck Audition
Life is good. You’re sailing along. And then it happens.
You hit a glitch.
Maybe it’s a critical life moment—
like deciding to change your job,
or rekindling a relationship.
Or maybe you’re stalled about something you want:
trying to eat healthier,
kickstarting a project,
balancing home and work,
finally dealing with that room in your home
(you know the one).
And there you are. Stuck.
When you’re in the middle of being stuck it can feel alienating, confusing, and even a little scary.
It’s okay. Really. (We find that people who want to live full lives are the ones who get stuck the most often.)-
Hey Alaya, You have a nice smooth voice. One thing I noticed were your pauses, that can make your performance sound choppy. On the first read I thought your ending was kinda abrupt – I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but it left me waiting for more. Your tone, pace and volume were spot-on! Keep it up!
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Hello, Alaya! Really crisp, clear delivery on your reads! A nice performance range as well as your “Unstuck” read is very real and appealing, whereas your “Essential Oils” read is appropriately buttoned-up and concise (without sounding mechanical). If I were to add any constructive suggestions, it would be to perhaps infuse a touch more conversational warmth into your “American Airlines” read. Perhaps envision the passengers you’re speaking to as they excitedly board the plane and get ready for their next adventure to give your read a little more of a welcoming tone. Really well done! Keep up the great work!
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Greetings, everyone! Resuming my practice posts–this time with a little “then and now” exercise where I’m posting a read I did some time back as well as a read of the same script I recorded today. (Full disclosure: that first read is really painful to listen to! Hopefully I’ve improved somewhat in my delivery). All comments are encouraged, appreciate your taking the time to listen.
UNISOM:
“Did you wake up in a funk this morning? A salt in your coffee, sugar on your eggs kind of morning? A “why don’t those d**n birds go chirp somewhere else” kind of morning? Unisom knows that when you don’t get enough sleep at night, it’s hard to avoid the funk. Unisom is specially formulated to give you a good night’s sleep, so you’re ready to take on your day–funk-free. Unisom, the sleep experts.”-
Hey Rogue, The first read sounded like you tired, like you weren’t “funk-free.” But that second one, was bright, and stimulating. The pace was good, and it felt like you were talking to me. I believed you were “funk-free.” Keep it up!
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Hey There!
More practice! Thanks for your feedback, it truly helps!So this guy I was dating seemed to have it all. Good looks, a great job, a nice smile, and oh…his laugh-so funny! But the truth of the matter is…that smile that started the laugh…ended with bad breath! It seemed the one thing he didn’t have was a Tic-Tac. And I was so close to happiness!
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Hi SueCat – Nice, fun read. Your voice sounds very warm! The start got me interested and drew me in. The pacing/rhythm of the final two lines feels different from the first half. Perhaps try the second from the last sentence with the emphasis on “didn’t” as well as Tic Tac – the one that writes the check as you mentioned :). Nice read – thanks for sharing!
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Hi suecat! LOVE the personality you infuse in your reading–you give what might be a pedestrian script a life and humor all its own (and my heart breaks with you over your suitor’s halitosis!) On a purely technical note, it seems the volume of your record dips in places (:11 for example). Perhaps you’re moving away from the mic a bit during your record? Keep up the lovely work!
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Hello hard working VO-ers! Looking for brief feedback on these commercial reads. I’m really aiming for that light, trendy, conversational tone. Simply recorded on my phone, so no sound quality advice needed 😉 THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR YOUR TIME!
/GRETA-
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Hi! I think both reads are conversational, but they have a bit of gusto that may be too strong for these reads. Maybe it’s the volume–I think there are ways to have a sassy/sarcastic quality to your voice without increasing the volume. The “no sweat” in the first read kind of sounded kind of awkward to me, and I wasn’t sure who you were in the read (a fellow passenger? a flight attendant? neither?)
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Hi again – just wanted to add to my note that the sassy almost sarcastic quality to your voice–never lose it! It’s a unique quality that you have, and works well in lots of commercials.
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The time has come. I have completed three more recordings for my narration homework. As usual, I am aiming to make the reads sound conversational and give some variation throughout, especially when I get to lists. Also, I wanted to make each performance sound unique to the others. Do you think I pulled it off? Any feedback is appreciated.
Apollo 16
The year was 1967, and the astronauts of Apollo 16 were going to the moon. This is Charlie Duke, Lunar Module Pilot on Apollo 16. This amazing little capsule went by the call-sign CASPER, and it was the heart of an immense system of rocket engineering that got the astronauts safely to the moon and back.Black Diamond Equipment
Here at Black Diamond it’s all about climbing and skiing. We share the same experiences that you do on rock, ice and snow and these experiences push us to make the best gear possible for our worldwide family of climbers and skiers.
What began with a backyard anvil and a hammer has now grown into a global company with offices on three continents. Black Diamond is a company that’s not just for rock climbers and skiers, but one that stands for the spirit of the sports we live, their values and goals, past, present and future. Since 1957, our innovative gear designs have set the standard in numerous areas. This is partly the result of dedication, desire and diligence on the part of an incredible team of people. It’s also a product of the fact that each of us are climbers and skiers ourselves.Light Chain Deposition Disease
Light-chain deposition disease (LCDD) is the deposition of monoclonal light chains in multiple organs. It is a rare disease characterized by deposition of NONAmyloid immunoglobulin light chains, and they do not stain with Congo red and do not exhibit a fibrillar structure when examined ultrastructurally. It is categorized as a “monoclonal deposition disease” in the World Health Organization classification of tumors of hematopoietic and lymphoid tissues. LCDD was first described in 1976 in two patients with end-stage renal disease as granular deposits of free light chains in multiple organs, including the kidneys, that did not stain with Congo red.-
Hello, Tim! Wow, masterful job in breaking up very long scripts (practically run-on sentences in some instances) into an inviting and digestible conveyance of information. Your choice of pauses and emphases show a lot of care in your craft and yet the reads don’t feel overworked. A special salute for your LCDD read—my tongue would never be able to mange such technical lingo!
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Hello! I could pick up slight differences among the three reads, but there’s still room to make them even more distinct. The Black Diamond Equipment read has a conversational quality to it, but I think this could be brought out more. I almost think you might want to try to make the Black Diamond read more plain, in a way, and be more selective with the words you emphasize. For instance, “Since 1957” doesn’t need to have any emphasis at all, but once it is emphasized, it competes with the other words being emphasized. I’m impressed with how you can read the technical terms in the third read!
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A.G. EDWARDS 30 SEC. RADIO
WITH NEW HIGHER TAX BRACKETS, YOUR INVESTMENT BROKER CAN BE A VALUABLE SOURCE FOR IDEAS THAT CAN HELP YOU REDUCE TAXES. IT’S ALL PART OF THE COMPLETE SERVICE AG EDWARDS IS COMMITTED TO OFFERING. NOT ONLY THIS YEAR, BUT EVERY YEAR. THE TIME TO START NEXT YEAR’S TAX PLANNING IS NOW AND YOUR AG EDWARDS INVESTMENT BROKER CAN HELP BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTICULAR NEEDS. WHY NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT EXPERTISE BY CALLING AG
EDWARDS?Justin Boots (Pecos Red)
Hi, I’m Pecos Red for Justin Boots. Ever heard the term: “All Hat and no cattle”? That’s the problem with a lot of boots I know. Sounds weird, but the thing of it is that most boots don’t do the same things your feet do, like expand and contract when you take a step.
Most boots are rigid, which is why your “dawgs commence to barkin’” and get all swole up, from yer boot-heels a wanderin’.
At Justin Boots, our technology is a simple idee that comes
right out of the way your foot works. It’s how we build ever’ boot we make. So’s it expands and flexes the way your foot does when it’s out ridin’ the range, or just boot-scootin’ out at Billy Bob’s. Justin Boots Quality. It’s a DANG good thing! I’m Pecos Red, remindin’ ya: never kick a cow chip on a hot day! Justin Boots. Don’t wear ‘em. Use ‘em!-
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Hi Bil-Bo! I loved both reads! Your voice is so delightfully unique and is so fun to listen to! Not only that, but you deliver the right nuances that give the right meaning to the right words/phrases. I was tickled by the different sound effects in your Justin Boots read. Thank you for posting your work.
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Hi everybody. I’m posting my homework assignment for my next Narration class. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality.
Thank you,
ErikRecycling
I don’t know about you, but I like our planet a lot! And one of the easiest ways we can help protect the Earth is by recycling. That’s where instead of throwing things like plastic in the trash, you put them in a special bin so they go to a kind of factory to be reused. You’ve probably recycled things like plastic bottles before. There might even be a recycling bin in the room you’re in right now! Recycling is important because it helps keep the Earth clean, especially from trash made of plastic.
Yellowstone
In the northern part of the park, large stretches of grass and sagebrush spread across the mountains and valleys. Similar to the prairies, this habitat provides an excellent home to the badger and her new family. They see light, for perhaps the first time. A strange new world for them. And they stay close to their mother at first. But growing bolder, they begin to explore on their own.Sean Connery
He was born Thomas Sean Connery in Fountainbridge, Scotland, on August 25, 1930, the son of Joe, a truck driver, and Euphamia, a 20-year-old housewife. The neighborhood was known as “the street of a thousand smells” for the stench of the local rubber mill and several breweries that always filled the air. Connery’s home was a two-room flat in “tenement land”, where the infant slept in a bureau drawer because his parents couldn’t afford a crib.-
Hi Erik, love the rich, resonant quality of your voice–very crisp, clear delivery on all counts. I agree with nettipo1 and SuperLuke that you might now try a bit more conversational approach in your reads. You’ve got the authoritative tone down pat, now maybe smooth it out a bit for a more natural delivery. Keep up the great work!
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HI Erik, I like the energy and pace of the three reads, but in a way it sounds like you are trying to make every word distinct, and you may be pushing on the words a bit too much. You may want to see how you would sound if you were saying these words to someone next to you. Still, I like the energy and clarity of your voice, which is an advantage you have with narration for sure.
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Hi Erik,
Comment: The first performance sounds like a commercial. It also sounds like you are aiming for sounding like an announcer. The second recording sounds like something we would use for the Discovery Channel, very well done! The third recording was good for narrating the biography.
Critique: Although, maybe make your narration voice stretch out and sound different for each recording because the scripts have set different tones, moods, and feels to them. Your voice sounds the same throughout all 3 reads and sets similar tones.
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One more that I was working on this morning! I have a bad habit of saying “yer/fer/tuh” instead of “your/for/to” so that was what I was working on with this script. It felt like I was over-enunciating, but that’s why I’m bringing it to the community for feedback! 🙂
YOUR SMILE
Your smile says a lot about you. If you let it. When you’re uncomfortable about your teeth, it’s easy to hold back your smile. Invisalign’s advanced technology now lets you straighten your teeth invisibly – so you can express yourself fully. And because they’re invisible, no one has to know about it. Hundreds of thousands of people already have discovered Invisalign. Maybe it’s time you were one of them.
Thanks
Chance
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Hi everyone,
I’m throwing in a commercial script for some feedback.
LEGOS
My child has quite an imagination. His teachers say that some day he’ll be doing great things. Right now, he’s already an architect, a designer, an engineer … I think he’s a creative genius … and thanks to Legos, the creative building toy, there’s just no limit to what he can do. LEGOS … the creative diversion that helps develop a child’s potential.
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Hello! Your voice is really nice and clear, and energy and overall pacing is good–but, you might want to vary the pacing and inflection more to make your read more natural. It also sounds like you end your sentences at the same or similar pitch level (listen to the first and second sentences), which gives it a pattern that makes it sound less natural. So perhaps hold a stronger image in your mind of one person you are talking to, maybe create a lead-in phrase or phrases as if you were just chatting with them, and then roll right into delivering the script, and see if it sounds different. Keep having fun with it!
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