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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi everyone,
I am attaching three commercial recordings and would be very grateful for any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
Video Intro – Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that
MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me fort a short story before we get into the meat of this video.UCLA Extension
We are UCLA Extension.
We are scholars, innovators, visionaries, experimenters. We are idealists, artists, and optimists.
We have a one-hundred-year legacy of taking the unconventional path; the road less traveled. We know
that you don’t have to be a student to study. Because we know that knowledge is for everyone and that education improves people’s lives and makes communities stronger. We try and fail and then we try again [slight pause] because we know that there are many paths to success and we are defining our own goals and charting our own course.
[Pace of the VO picks up a little bit] We go into the unknown. We challenge ourselves. We keep rising. We dare to dream. We are here to make the world better. We are UCLA.Air Jamaica
On our island, you can party all night, or you can have a quiet, romantic evening. Maybe rocking to Reggae suits your style, or how about strolling through a posh plantation while sipping a mango margarita? No, it’s not a dream, it’s paradise — it’s Jamaica. And Air Jamaica is waiting to whisk you away on your choice of non-stop flights from New York to Montego Bay for only $199!-
First of all John, I think you really have what it takes for Narration. The first two scripts were fantastically performed at a great tempo, with a suitable tone, and you hit the words so well. Only problem was you were pausing midsentence, particularly at the “ands.” You need to save pauses for periods and commas. Otherwise your recording sounds pretty choppy. Also, the recordings sound a little too much alike, especially the “Air Jamaica” commercial script. Try adopting a different tone for each script.
You could do commercials too, but you have to remember that the point is to sell it, not explain like in Narration. Your “Air Jamaica” should have a happier or more excited tone. At least get into the spirit of the script. (What feeling do you get regarding the subject matter?)-
Hi Tim,
Thank you very much for your constructive feedback. I listened to the recordings again as I absorbed your points. You are spot on. I really have to deal with not only these pauses, but also the differences in tone and the importance of ensuring that I get into the spirit of the script. Thank you once more for taking the time to provide me with this feedback.
Regards,
John
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Hello everyone! I’m a beginner who’s only done research and practiced in his free time. I’m hoping to take some jobs doing voiceover for things like commercials, instruction videos, and books on tape. I’ve attached a few sample ads from my current demo and would really appreciate any feedback on whatever strengths and weaknesses I may have. Thank you all in advance!
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Wow! Your demo samples are amazing. The Car ad shows you have a serious and easy-going tone while the Podcast intro shows a bit more liveliness. I’m told that a voice actor needs to focus on their strike zone and I think yours is definitely “laid back” and “encouraging.” You hit very fitting words and I love how well you brought this to life. All I would say is, you need to work on your tempo, slow down, and try harder to sound less like an announcer. I hope this helps, you hardly sound like a beginner to me!
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Thank you so much for you feedback! It does a lot for my confidence to hear that I sound better than I thought I did. “Laid back” and “encouraging”, you say? I’ll try to play around with more like that then. I’ve also noticed I tend to speak a bit more quickly than needed, so I’ll try to work on that as well. Your tips are very helpful!
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Hello everyone!
I recorded some kids commercials and just wanted some constructive criticism on them. Thanks in advance!-
Hi Ashlee,
You sound great on these! For the Crayola commercial, I would suggest slowing down a bit, especially on the last line (Crayola… It starts with Crayola) and also varying your pitch a little more on the section that starts with “creativity” and ends with “less mess”.
In the second one, I think you should vary the sentences a bit so they don’t all follow the same pattern. -
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Hey Ashlee,
You have the perfect voice for these kids commercials! On both reads your tempo was really fast. I think if you slow down a bit, while keeping your tone, and pitch, the performance would sound more conversational. I loved your energy. Thanks for sharing. -
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Hi all! Here is a read for any and all feedback. Working towards my narration demo. Let me know what you think! Thank you! Mary
Shakespeare’s Family Life
Records survive relating to William Shakespeare’s family that offer an understanding of the context of Shakespeare’s early life and the lives of his family members. John Shakespeare married Mary Arden, and together they had eight children. John and Mary lost two daughters as infants, so William became their eldest child. John Shakespeare worked as a glove-maker, but he also became an important figure in the town of Stratford by fulfilling civic positions. His elevated status meant that he was even more likely to have sent his children, including William, to the local grammar school.-
Mary,
Not too bad. Audio sound seemed a little high maybe clipping. I thought you read it well with a few slight pauses in between. Good Job.-
Thanks for the feedback Robert! I’ll check on the audio levels. I typically have to Normalize it after I record because it has been too quiet in the past, so maybe I am finally getting better at projecting the right amount of volume to begin with. I’ll also work on the unnecessary pauses. Thanks again!
Mary
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I like what you did with the script. I think the tone you adopted was consistent and very fitting to a documentary’s narration. The tempo was also well-placed, but you were pausing midsentence. Also, it doesn’t sound conversational and more like an audiobook. You need to get into the spirit of this script by imagining where you’d be saying this and to who. (I envision this as a “tour guide’s” monologue to tourists at the Shakespeare estate or something.) I hope that helps.
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Hi Mary,
I got the same impression as Suecat. I would also suggest varying the sentences a bit so they don’t all follow the same pattern.
That being said, you have a great voice for this type of script! -
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Hey Mary,
You said this was narration, but it sounded to me more like an ebook. For me narration is a bit slower with a downward inflection and more relaxed, you seemed more excited and upbeat. With that said, it was a really nice read. Keep sharing! -
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Hi Everyone,
I’ve tried my hand at a few commercials that feel a bit out of my comfort zone for me, so I’m curious to hear what you all have to say. Thanks so much!!
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Hi JLoz,
As with Mary and Andrea, I thought that your reads were very strong. I could have been listening to my local radio station. I really struggle to come out of my comfort zone with commercials, but you made it seem effortless. Very clean recordings, too, may I say!
Regards,
John
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Hi Jloz, nice! They were all nice, did not seem out of your comfort zone to me. The pacing was good and you moved it along, which is good for these scripts. Great clarity throughout.
Business travel – I liked this one the best for you – it was clear and direct
Live event cats – Good lists, and I loved the meow at the end! Made me smile
Scotts Surf – Good lists again
Va-Va Voom – I think this could be a little more animated. I am picturing an over-the-top visual add behind it for some reason, I think the tones could be punched up a bit more / vary them up to sound even more exaggerated at key points, especially when discussing how this “isn’t your husband’s shampoo”. Good job!Mary
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Thanks for the feedback, Mary! Much appreciated, and that makes sense with the Va-Va-Voom Shampoo commercial.
Thanks again!
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Hello all! Here are some practice scripts for a couple of commercials. I’d appreciate any feedback, thanks!
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Your relaxed yet upbeat take on these reads was delightful. I love the words you hit and the tempo was not rushed at all. I will say this though, the tone came off as more an announcer-style and commercials are supposed to be conversational. I also think you missed the spirit of the scripts too. If you apply the spirit of the script, that will help you pull off a more convincing tone.
To find the spirit, just imagine where you would be when speaking this script to another person and what sort of feelings you’d have in that situation. (e.g. The Pizza commercial, you’re walking into the place feeling hungry or sharing the new pizza joint with friends. That would instill an excited or anticipating tone.) -
Hi Twiegers! Nice! The audio sounds very low on my end, I could hear it but it was just lower volume than typical, easy fix. I use Audacity and usually have to use the Normalize effect up to -3 dB and it helps a ton in increasing the overall volume.
Home Slice – good soothing tone. It seemed a little choppy in a couple of spots – “your independent” sounded like “your, independent” (unneeded pause between those 2 words)
Paws Up – This was nice too. Make sure to emphasize both words in the tagline “Paws up’. Those 2 words ran together for me and sounded like “pauseup”. I tend to smash words together too, I have found that just slowing down for the key spots really helps.I agree with Jloz in that your voice would sound really nice in a romance novel, or maybe a Sandals commercial where you are describing a dream vacation on a beach. You have a nice smooth voice, definitely try that!
Mary
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Hi twiegers!
Right away, I enjoyed the calm, soft tones of your voice; however, I’m not sure if the voice style was the best fit for these commercials. I’m definitely not an expert, but that is just my take.
Also, the audio was a bit distanced sounding and a little more tinny than base. Since I’m pretty new to all of this, I don’t know the exact fix for that. I usually just go through and use a type of compression, normalize, and of course noise reduction and silence all areas where nothing is spoken. I’m currently using Audacity, so I couldn’t tell you the specifics for those areas, if you happen to use a different program.
I would love to hear your take on a romance novel or something similar due to your calm, soft tones in your voice. Very nice!
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Hi all,
Just doing some readings to see what will and won’t fit for a narration demo.
Any feedback would be much appreciated!
Thank you!TQ
SCRIPT: Carbon is an extremely versatile atom, capable of forming single, double, and even triple bonds.
This kind of flexibility allows for carbon to form chains, branched chains, and rings when connected to other carbon atoms…
kind of like a super LEGO kit.-
Your voice is fantastic and very fitting for these types of commercials. I love your tone, pitch, and volume, but I’m with Andrea in that I think you were talking too fast. I know from experience that any effort to finish the “task” quickly will get you nowhere. Remember that voice acting is an “art” so don’t try so hard to “finish” the script. Also, work on making your voice conversational, you sound more like an announcer.
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Hi Taylorn, nice! You have a nice smooth tone and it was fitting for this script. Good variation in the lists too! The last word was cut off, you might try not stopping the recoding immediately after you record to make sure all of the recording is caught. I typically leave a second or two in front of and after the recordings to help with that. Good job!
Mary
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Hello everyone,
Looking for some constructive criticism on these audio files. Heading into my last few classes before my narration demo is recorded. Thanks!
Children’s Educational Space Game
Today we’re going to explore all of the planets in our solar system and some other places as well. We’ll travel into the future when astronauts live throughout the solar system. On each world we’ll see what the weather is like, what we would wear, and what we would do to have fun! Grab your oxygen, put on your seatbelt, and let’s blast off!
Claude DebusseyThe notes you are hearing…changed the way we listen to music…not only classical…but contemporary as well. Claude Debussy, he heard things differently. He wasn’t very fond of rules and had no respect for the musical status quo. His influences still linger in the jazz music of today.
TLC-VH1-Behind the Music
Sickness, arson, and bankruptcy threatened to silence TLC forever. But when faced with the type of adversity that has ripped other groups apart, Tionne, Lisa, and Chili closed ranks. It seems as if the odds have been stacked against the members of TLC their entire lives. Long before they ever shared a stage, each endured poverty, the pain of a broken home, and the resolve to rise above it.-
Hi Alaya_R!
Really great take on all these! I like how each one was slightly different in your voice tone. The one that stuck with me the most was Claude Debussy. I wasn’t sure if it was just my headphones/computer, but the last line of that, “His influences still linger in the jazz music of today,” sounded a bit different than the rest. It wasn’t very noticeable but just a bit. Otherwise, nice job with your intonations and voice range for three fairly different scripts!
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Hello all.. Took a little time off from voice overs, to reassess. Basically, I let pride get the best of me. Well, I’m back. If you can, just give me any thoughts you may have on my sound. I didn’t go in and edit it, so there will be some noise. I built a rudimentary studio, so i can clean most of the noise. Do I sound professional? Or forced? You get the idea. Thank you so much. I hope I can return the favor to you all in the future.
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You do NOT sound forced Bill. Your tone and tempo are well applied and sound super-professional as if you are speaking and not reading. I can really envision your voice accompanying a corporate video for this company’s website or employee training program. Have you really been out of the game for a while? Aside from your recording setup, it hardly shows. WELL DONE!
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Hi Bill!
I really enjoyed your voice tone and take on that script! Fantastic timing of words being read and overall feeling like you’re not quite reading but informing listeners. The quality of the audio was great too and as you said, would just need a bit of a clean-up. Other than that, I could totally hear that on the radio!
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Hello all! Here is a script for my upcoming narration demo prep. I’ve been to this museum (now closed) and it was really great. I’m hoping the enthusiasm portrayed comes off as authentic, let me know what you think. Thanks for listening! Mary
At the Newseum, visitors experienced the story of news, the role of a free press in major events in history, and how the core freedoms of the First Amendment — religion, speech, press, assembly and petition — apply to their lives.
Located halfway between the White House and the U.S. Capitol, the building made a powerful statement, the 45 words of the First Amendment etched into a 75-foot tall tablet of Tennessee marble facing Pennsylvania Avenue. With 15 galleries and 15 theaters, the Newseum opened April 11, 2008, to great fanfare. It had two state-of-the-art television studios and was a sought-after spot for conferences, weddings, movie premieres and other special events.
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