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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi all! Here is a recording for narration practice for my upcoming demo. Let me know what you think! Thank you, Mary
Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, who were married for more than 70 years, can boast of the longest-enduring marriage in British royal history. Their love story, which first began when a 13-year-old Elizabeth developed a crush on her older third cousin, has lasted through Elizabeth’s duties as queen, as well as Philip’s need to adjust to life as her consort. Whether dealing with pushy royal courtiers, dynastic name squabbles or press scrutiny and scandal, they’ve managed to remain a united front.
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Excellent Job Mary WOW! Very nice and clear even tone. Sounds like a beautifully narrated spot. Keep up the great work!
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Just trying this out. Not sure if the background music is the best. Please leave any feedback. Thanks
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Hi Robert, good job! That is a really long list of beef items! 🙂 Because there are so many items, you might try to vary up pitch here and there to keep the listener’s interest, more so than you would typically need to do for a shorter list. I did not mind the background music, was not distracting. Good job!
Mary
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Hello Forum!
I’ve got a couple more practice reads I’d love some feedback on! Thanks!
Travelocity:
Congratulations! You’ve successfully planned another vacation. You’ve called the airlines, the hotels, the rental car places and you’ve just hung up the phone. So brace yourself – the nagging doubt, the one that says, did I get a good deal on this vacation? There’s a better way to book travel. Travelocity.com. You’ll have over 700 airlines, over 45,000 hotels, and over 50 rental car companies all at your fingertips. You’re in control. Even look at pictures of your hotel room, or choose your airline seat. Enjoy vacation, and save your nagging doubt for your auto-mechanic. Travelocity.com…go virtually anywhere.State Farm:
YOU RENT the apartment, YOU OWN the Big Screen TV. Do you know your landlord’s insurance covers the building, not your stuff inside? But, for around the cost of a DVD a month, you can get Renters Insurance from State Farm® and protect the things that make your place your home. And if we insure your car too, you may qualify for a discount. Call your local State Farm Agent regarding the availability of Renters Insurance in your area. We Live Where You Live®.-
Hi JN! Good job on these! Your voice is well-suited for these genres – it was approachable, clear and authentic sounding. I liked the energy and enthusiasm and variation in lists on Travelocity, really nice. I think instead of “45 hundred hotels” it should be “45 thousand hotels”, not a big deal for practice. Good word choices to emphasize for State Farm too like RENT vs. OWN. Keep it up!
Mary
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Hi All! Working towards my narration demo and any feedback on this corporate read is much appreciated. Thanks!
Welcome to Advance Technology Incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.
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Hey everyone. I have done it again. Here are three narration recordings I did for my homework. Any helpful criticism is appreciated, but I still had a goal to ensure that the scripts didn’t sound too similar in performance. Do I keep you engaged? How is my tone, pitch, and tempo? Anything helps, thank you.
Atrial Fibrillation
The heart is a remarkable organ. It is a muscle that relaxes and contracts, pumping blood carrying oxygen and nutrients throughout the body. The steady rhythm of these contractions is controlled by electrical impulses that travel through the heart, first through the upper chambers, called the atria; and then through the lower chambers, called the ventricles. In order to reach the ventricles, electrical impulses must pass here, at the atrioventricular node. Atrial fibrillation occurs when a storm of electrical impulses spread through the atria in a chaotic and disorganized pattern, causing the atria to begin rapidly contracting. As a result, the ventricles may also begin contracting faster. When the heart is in atrial fibrillation, the body can’t receive the blood and oxygen it needs.Firefighting
The interior attack is one of the most effective fire ground tactics. But to succeed, it means getting inside the building fast. This frequently means forcing entry. In our first program, we discussed conventional forcible entry; that is forcing entry by using a flathead axe into a structure where access is locked, blocked, or non-existent.Jerry Seinfeld
The move to New York meant returning to his roots for Seinfeld, who was born April 29, 1954, in Brooklyn and raised in the Long Island town of Massapequa (which he has always joked was an old Indian name meaning “by the mall”). After graduating from Queens College, Seinfeld appeared at New York comedy spots while supporting himself with odd jobs, including selling lightbulbs over the phone and waiting tables at Brew and Burger. As his act grew more polished, he honed the wry observational style that was to become his trademark.-
Hi Tim,
Very impressive reads! Like Darlene, I was engaged throughout each read, particularly during the first, where I found myself going back to biology class and revisiting the diagrams of the heart. I felt that the tempo was ideal for each read, and I liked the way in which you contracted “it’s a muscle” in the first, and “that’s forcing entry” in the second. Pitch and tone sounded, imho, appropriate for each read, with those for the second being particularly effective. I could visualize an instructor demonstrating this technique as part of an e-learning lesson, which is perhaps the context.
Finally, I thought that your recordings seemed technically perfect. Very clean indeed.
Thank you for sharing.
Regards.
John
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Hello everyone! Here are a few commercial scripts from the library, uploaded for any feedback and comments you have. Very much appreciate the time and attention!
All best,
John
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RX – Great read! I like what you did with “sweet” & “creamy.” My only suggestion would be to add a little more excitement to the “9 grams of protein.”
MBE – Great tone! The word ” Everybody” stood out a lot to me at the beginning. I suggest adding a little more emphasis on “Mail Boxes, Etc.” within the body of the script to give the product a little more prominence.
AMEX – Sounds great, very conversational. The pacing seemed a little fast to me though.
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@mvacc Cool. Thank you. I often start loud and am trying to work on that. Thanks for the comment on the AMEX one too. (blessed hands emoji)
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Looking for emotional connection and point of view of this script:
Oxy is boldly pursuing a lower-carbon future. To get there, we must zero in. Zero in together to advance every part of our business today. Zero in with purpose to develop the answers we will need tomorrow. Zero in on zero. Oxy. Zero in.
Thanks all.
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Hi everyone,
I am attaching three commercial recordings and would be very grateful for any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
Video Intro – Real Estate
Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that
MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
Listen, I love Real estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
Humor me fort a short story before we get into the meat of this video.UCLA Extension
We are UCLA Extension.
We are scholars, innovators, visionaries, experimenters. We are idealists, artists, and optimists.
We have a one-hundred-year legacy of taking the unconventional path; the road less traveled. We know
that you don’t have to be a student to study. Because we know that knowledge is for everyone and that education improves people’s lives and makes communities stronger. We try and fail and then we try again [slight pause] because we know that there are many paths to success and we are defining our own goals and charting our own course.
[Pace of the VO picks up a little bit] We go into the unknown. We challenge ourselves. We keep rising. We dare to dream. We are here to make the world better. We are UCLA.Air Jamaica
On our island, you can party all night, or you can have a quiet, romantic evening. Maybe rocking to Reggae suits your style, or how about strolling through a posh plantation while sipping a mango margarita? No, it’s not a dream, it’s paradise — it’s Jamaica. And Air Jamaica is waiting to whisk you away on your choice of non-stop flights from New York to Montego Bay for only $199!-
First of all John, I think you really have what it takes for Narration. The first two scripts were fantastically performed at a great tempo, with a suitable tone, and you hit the words so well. Only problem was you were pausing midsentence, particularly at the “ands.” You need to save pauses for periods and commas. Otherwise your recording sounds pretty choppy. Also, the recordings sound a little too much alike, especially the “Air Jamaica” commercial script. Try adopting a different tone for each script.
You could do commercials too, but you have to remember that the point is to sell it, not explain like in Narration. Your “Air Jamaica” should have a happier or more excited tone. At least get into the spirit of the script. (What feeling do you get regarding the subject matter?)-
Hi Tim,
Thank you very much for your constructive feedback. I listened to the recordings again as I absorbed your points. You are spot on. I really have to deal with not only these pauses, but also the differences in tone and the importance of ensuring that I get into the spirit of the script. Thank you once more for taking the time to provide me with this feedback.
Regards,
John
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