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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hey everyone. As usual, following my coaching session I am uploading three narration scripts for homework. Any feedback is appreciated, but my main goal for the past few uploads has been to avoid having each performance sound the same and to perform each script with enough variety. Any feedback on my general performance is also appreciated.
Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola. There may be no other product that reaches more of mankind. It all starts with a secret formula, Coke sends that formula to hundreds of bottling factories around the world. Factories need containers by the millions. The volume is staggering. The speeds are blinding. To put Coca-Cola in easy reach of nearly every human being on Earth, you need ultimate factories.Nero – Intro
He was a perverse, cross-dressing exhibitionist who had an incestuous relationship with his mother and married his step sister. He murdered members of his own family in fits of jealous rage. His cruelty, violence, and grotesque appetite for self-indulgence brought the Roman empire to the brink of financial and political ruin. And he viscously persecuted the Christians. They would remember him as the ultimate embodiment of evil … the anti-christ.How to Read Music
Reading music is often seen as a mysterious and arcane art – but it doesn’t have to be that way! The easy-to-follow lessons and innovative accompanying CD in How to Read Music will show you how to decode those little black dots and, in a short time, you’ll be surprised how fluent you’ve become!-
Hello! I do hear subtle differences between the three reads, but I think the emotion you’ve chosen for each read really needs to be brought out more. What might be getting in the way of my hearing the individual character of each read is that I’m picking up on a pattern where several words are being emphasized within the same phrase, and maybe not all of them need to be emphasized. I would suggest choosing only the most important words to emphasize, which is usually not so much the nouns and pronouns. You’ve selected a good assortment of scripts, and I think your vocal tone in general is great for a wide variety of narrations! Good job, and keep on posting!
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Your deep and authoratative voice is just right for these types of scripts. You really sound like you know what your talking about and anyone who hears you is sure to stop what they’re doing and pay attention. I think the tone you’re using is perfect for explaining the documentary’s subject and the tempo is just right for explaining the subject. However, I think your performance did wind up being monotone with little variety. I would suggest you try hitting various words in a few ways and ensure there’s enough variety. Also, try a different tone for certain sections, that would seriously benefit the listener in knowing that you’re an authority on the subject. Other than that, you’re doing great.
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Hi Mark, you have an amazing voice—-its deep resonance blew me out of my chair and is a pleasure to listen to! Both reads are excellent, all that I feel is missing is perhaps a bit more natural emotion and inflection to your performance. Perhaps visualize who you’re speaking to so that your read sounds a bit more conversational and less like you’re reading a script. For example, your call to action at the close of the Ali read (:53) could be a little more impassioned. You’ve painted a heroic picture of this great man for the first :50 seconds, now you’re inviting the listener to be a part of that great history and that appeal would benefit from being a bit more personal. Well done! Keep up the great work!
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Hi Erica! Wonderful reads! Lots of great energy and inflection–very appealing performance for both scripts. If I were to suggest anything, perhaps look at smoothing out your Cherrios read just a bit. The middle is smooth as silk but, to my ears, the beginning and endings sound like comma pauses are becoming period hard stops. “Whole grain oats. Cinnamon. and Cheerios. All rolled into one.” sounds a touch halting to me, whereas “Start your day with the deliciously satisfying crunch…” is natural and smooth. Keep up the amazing work!
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Hey Everybody,
Looking for your suggestions, critiques, and any tips you’d like to share — ThanksArthritis Foundation
There’s something you can do — right now — that will ease the pain of arthritis in years to come. By remembering The Arthritis Foundation in your will, you can help us find ways to stop this serious, often crippling disease. A disease that affects one in every seven Americans. Call THE ARTHRITIS FOUNDATION, at 1-800-552-HAND. It’s time we took arthritis seriously.-
I think you read at a great tempo and it sounded quite conversational. The words you hit were also very fitting and I don’t think you overemphasized any of them. Although, I think your pauses were a little too long and I was real distracted by how you were pronouncing the “s” sounds. Every one of them sounded as if you were whistling which no voice director enjoy. Finally, you need to work on your recording setup, it sounds echoey, as if you’re in a bowl. Hope this helps.
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Hi suecat! Another solid read. Warm and approachable, yet appropriately serious given the subject matter. You might slow your tempo just a bit to increase the gravitas (you seem to speed up on the second half of your opening sentence, after “There’s something you can do—right now”). You also might take a look at your pronunciation of “arthritis”. A few times it sounds as if you’re adding an extra syllable and saying “artheritis” (though I don’t hear it in the final mention). Minor quibbles. Keep up the great work!
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Hey Rogue, Thank you for your feedback and you’re probably right about the ‘artheritis’ as I am a country girl. I’ll be mindful of that slip, in addition to paying closer attention to my speed. And those are not minor – as I just lost that job! Thanks!
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Nothing wrong with being a country girl–that beautiful accent is a gift! 😊 I’ve got a bit of a Virginia lilt myself, just feel there are times when a client would embrace it and other times they might prefer a more “accent neutral” read. Sorry that particular job didn’t come through, but there are many, many more where that came from!
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Hi everyone, uploading some files trying out my mic. I’m not as concerned with the audio quality as I am the performance at this point. I appreciate the feedback!
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You have a great voice and the way you brought these to life was well applied. In each script you sound natural and the tempo remains smooth with no pauses midsentence. I did occasionally hear a mouth noise though and there were some small problems in each recording.
Always: I don’t you emphasized “Always” very well. I barely caught that that was the client you were promoting.
Ambien: Very smooth, but not much variety between the phrases. Try emphasizing different ways or incorporating another tone at some point.
Burts-Bees: Same as before. The list items sound exactly the same and it’s especially important to make variety in those. Also, you didn’t sound very interested in the product when it came time to promote it.
Mr. Coffee: Fantastic performance, though I would suggest considering the “spirit” of the script. I don’t think your tone quite matches. -
Hi Oktober10. Beautiful reads, your voice is warm and approachable, yet trustworthy and authoritative. The one thing that struck me is that I occasionally hear a bit of splash on some of your “s” sounds–for example, the 2nd track at the :09 mark “balance”, and the 3rd track at the :08 mark “boss” (This is something I have to work on myself). While all the performances are great, I think the 4th read for Mister Coffee is my favorite–very conversational with a dash of playfulness. Keep up the great work!
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First track: good stuff. I’d play around a little more with the pitch/inflection/tone of some of the words, but not much more, just to enhance some of the variety that’s already there. but that’s nitpicking, overall it sounds good.
Second track: well done. nothing to say here.
Third track: also great. I’d change up the tone a bit at “Introducing”, just to add bit more of a musical quality to it all, and I’m talking a tiny bit, simply because while the fluctuations are great, it can start to feel a bit monotone, especially towards the end. So if there’s a way to make it a little, and I mean a little less monotone without sacrificing the natural quality of the delivery, awesome.
Fourth track: Here the delivery, at times sounds over-affected, so I’d try to make it sound more natural, less forced.
So, the performance/technique was great.
Watch out for some of the unwanted noises made between words, like especially after “I’m a boss” on the third track, but you can hear what sounds like a clicking noise from the inside of your mouth as you formulate your words at other intervals in that track. Regardless of the audio quality that will come up in a recording.
Excellent work it was a pleasure listening to you.
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Two tracks here, for two different scripts. The first track has two different takes for a “Home Tour.” Which one do you think works better? What are the pros and cons of each one?
The second track has just one take for a script on Italy. How would you describe the tone? Do you think I’m hitting the right words or should the emphasis be changed?
Thanks again for all your help!
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Hi, Isaac. Very crisp and clear reads as always. Your Home Tour performance feels a touch rushed to me. As you are describing such an elegant manor, perhaps your read might breathe a bit (like a fine wine). Try romancing the words a bit more as you linger on the home’s finer features. You also might experiment with what words you emphasize. For example, “Nestled in the rolling hills of the river VALLEY” doesn’t feel as natural as perhaps emphasizing “rolling hills” instead. Enjoyed your Italy read very much. Good pacing and solid choices on where to place emphases. Keep up the great work!
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Hi Isaac, the second take of the Home Tour reads sounded a little smoother than the first for me…in the first take, the first sentence emphasized words that may not need it. If the important part of the sentence is the “gracious home is a rare find,” then I feel like the phrase leading up to it is not as important (but plays a supportive role) and maybe shouldn’t be enhanced as much. When reading lists, you might want to make sure your inflection on each item has a slightly different feeling, and give each item some space, because the lists in the Italy read went quite fast. It sounds like you are hitting the right words, but I think some of the emphasis could be changed in the sense that rather than emphasize the word, change something else about it – say it slower, say it with an up inflection, or say it with a certain emotion.
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This is for an “educational explainer video for real estate”. I’d love to get some feedback on it. Thanks a lot!
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Hey everybody,
Got some more stuff to get feedback on. Here I have three takes of the same copy, one in the first track, and two in the second. Let me know which takes you think are best, or the pros and cons of each one.
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I would say the third take is the best. (The second recording in the file marked “21”) It sounds much smoother than the other two and you say everything clearly yet naturally. It also has a suitable pace for a promo and you brought it to life in the way a promo should be: a happy blend between conversational and announcer. The first take was too slow and I think the second take didn’t have enough variation between the adjectives.
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Hello, Forum Folks. A new read for Pure Leaf Iced Tea (very appropriate due the sweltering summer weather!) Appreciate all feedback–thank you for taking the time to listen!
PURE LEAF
At Pure Leaf, real tea leaves meet real brewing expertise. We blend the finest tea leaves and brew them at a lower temperature for smooth, delicious, real brewed iced tea. Pure Leaf, our thing is tea.
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Hi rogue1 – your voice is well suited for this type of ad. Calming, soothing, and rich. It sounds spot on from the intro, but I do agree that the shift on the descriptive words does break up the tempo a bit. Maybe play around on which descriptive words to focus on – one or two each read. Your voice and tone are so well done, I think a read with few inflections would still work well. Thanks for sharing!
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Hey Rogue, You sound like a natural. Your voice is smooth and conversational. Once again, you knocked it out the park! Great performance!
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This was spot-on, the delivery and technique coming off as effortless and professional. You might want to tone it down a bit, but just a bit, on words like “expertise” and “finest”. And while I really like the acting at “smooth, delicious, real brewed,” slowing down the tempo that much feels a little forced as it sort of breaks the flow you’d skillfully developed until then. Overall, I’d say the tone, fluctuations in pitch, and quality of both the voice and the recording are on point.
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