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  • #69072
    BONKmk
    Participant

    Hey all, just dropping off a few narration recordings for homework. Appreciate any and all critiques 😀

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    • #69118
      Official81
      Participant

      Hi Bonk! I love your voice it is perfect for voice over. The only advice I have is to try to make each read authentic they all seemed to sound like you were reading from the same script. I heard a few pauses that could be edited out. Otherwise keep up the great work.

  • #69067
    Lilbelle1487
    Participant

    Hello Again! Homework assignment before the demo is prepared. I used two scripts from the Library.

    The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss When you have a two inch lift…
    When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
    When you have all that…The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
    The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
    Chevy….find new roads…

    characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.

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  • #69054
    fleishman619
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    Please disregard the mic – I used my iphone for this. But I have a narration demo coming up and wanted to upload a few options:

    Tito’s Tacos Script: “In this episode, we’ll visit Tito’s Tacos. Whether you’re rubbing shoulders with the mechanic or the mayor, everyone can agree that while they may not be the most authentic Mexican street food, the hard shell tacos and bean burritos are the most authentic So-Cal interpretation of a taco. Taste on and you’ll see why…”

    Meditation Script: “Let’s use these next few minutes to come back to center and set an intention for the rest of your day. Move into a comfortable position and gently close your eyes.”

    Corporate Script: “Welcome to Amkor Technology Incorporated. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies, benefit packages, and education opportunities.”

    E-Learning Script: “This is Module 8 — Productivity, Time & Money. Have you ever wondered how some people just get it all done? In this module, we’ll be laying the foundations for optimal productivity so you can save time and increase revenue. When you’re ready to begin, click “next” on your screen.”

    Looking forward to hearing notes on performance.

    Thank you!

    Michelle

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    • #69070
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      Other than the first one, Titos sounding rushed, these all sound fantastic to me. The Meditation one could be even a bit softer, but really well done!

  • #69032
    suecat
    Participant

    Hey Everybody,
    Today I’m trying out my new mic and new studio – closet. Please take a listen and please know that all comments and suggestions are a real help!
    Thank you

    Carnation Breakfast Essentials
    Kids can change minds. They can even change the world around us. Packed with protein plus 21 vitamins and minerals, we nourish them with Carnation Breakfast Essentials. Because today could change everything.

    !

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    • #69071
      Lilbelle1487
      Participant

      I heard a little bit of feedback, but it wasn’t much. Especially at the ending of a statement or word. Nice read though.

      • #69152
        suecat
        Participant

        Lilbelle, Thank you so much! I will continue to work on that feedback issue. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment!

    • #69048
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi suecat! Since I’ve heard you on previous postings, I can say that this mic definitely sounds better, and I agree with touzet that there seems to be some effects from processing. The delivery sounds conversational to me; I felt like you were talking with another mom. Be sure to enunciate the “t” in “Breakfast” and reduce the pause after “today.” I would experiment with different pitch levels on the last word or maybe the last sentence to give it a more solid feeling. Nice job!

      • #69154
        suecat
        Participant

        Thank you Nettipo1. This new skill has a variety of hats, but I’ll try my best to wear them all effectively! I will pay close attention to my enunciation, it’s that natural lazy communications for me – I’ve got to work h*****n that! Thank you for listening and taking time to comment. They really do help!

    • #69037
      touzet
      Participant

      I’m hearing the frequency response drift around a bit…like there’s some sort of noise reduction processing going on… Try the mic with no added effects…

      • #69155
        suecat
        Participant

        Hey Touzet, I know that what you’re saying is all true, but I haven’t gotten there yet! I’m just learning to navigate this mic! But I’ll look it up on google, google knows everything, and try and get a handle on that part too! Thank you for for listening and getting me geared up to learn another aspect of this profession!

  • #69018
    nettipo1
    Participant

    Hello VO Community,

    Here is one commercial and one narration piece. Thank you for any comments and/or suggestions!

    Freshii
    At Freshii you can customize your entree and be your own culinary master. So what’s in your custom bowl? Tex Mex with black beans and a little salsa fresca? Teriyaki twist with a pop of pineapple? Whatever your fresh idea, get any 2 bowls for just $12.99! Freshii – Eat. Energize!

    Betty Crocker
    Betty Crocker is an imaginary person. Nonetheless, in a 1945 survey she was named the second-best-known woman in America, after Eleanor Roosevelt. She was “born” in 1921 during a Gold Medal flour promotion in which users completed a puzzle to win a pin cushion. Company executives decided to use the signature of “Betty Crocker” on the prize letters–Betty because the name had a warm approachable feel, and Crocker after an early company director, William G, Crocker. The fictional Ms. Crocker became so popular that she soon had her own products and recipe books, many of which still exist today.

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    • #69076
      BONKmk
      Participant

      For Freshii, I really love the way you made the “..and a little salsa fresca?” have this sorta not intimate, but nice “whisper” that I totally could see triggering someone’s craving. I think that whole reading was pretty much perfect.

      As for the Betty Crocker reading, I think it would help to maybe emphasize the quotes around “she was ‘born'” a little more since she wasn’t literally born. There’s also a long pause between “to win” and “a pin cushion.” I assume you were just taking a breath there and I’m sure that could easily be edited since you maintain a consistent delivery between them anyway.

      There’s also a problem with both files where they cut off before you get to the last words so I can’t hear how you wrap it up loool, but overall, nice work on both of these 🙂

    • #69034
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Netipo1, Both performances were fabulous! Freshii was light and engaging, I was really interested in creating my own custom bowl. The narration pulled me in as well — I will say the last word in each read was cut off – but maybe that’s my machine! Great job, keep it up!

    • #69030

      These were both fantastic! Your voice sounds so natural and energetic, it really felt like you were talking to somebody. For the commercial read my only feedback would be to really ask that question – whats in your bowl? Right now it feels like that thought is a little glossed over. Also, on the final word, energize, your inflection drops, so perhaps put a tiny bit more energy into energize?

      For the betty crocker read, i felt like there were a few unnatural pauses, the big one for me being between “best known woman in america” and “after eleanor roosevelt.”
      Great work!

  • #69005
    hharris
    Participant

    Hello!

    Reposting my commercial homework assignment. The first time my volume was too low – hopefully, this is better audio wise. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

    ——
    New York Life

    Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country. In towns big and small, there’s a New York Life agent who can help you to secure your future and protect your family. New York Life–The Company You Keep.

    Atlanta Bread Company

    When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’. Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees. Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads. And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting! Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.

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    • #69040
      Ashlee Rose
      Participant

      very nice warm voice. I’d say a little rushed at some parts. But, for the most part it was really good.

    • #69031

      Your voice has such a warm and inviting tone, it’s wonderful to listen to!
      On the new york life copy it almost sounded as though you were rushing a bit through the words but then taking pauses between sentences, and the mix of rushing and pausing sort of broke up the flow of the read. I think the pauses would sound more natural if you slowed down your read just a tiny bit.
      I loved your read of the bread ad! The one piece of feedback i’d have is maybe try to bring just a little more specificity and distinction to the lists in there.

    • #69016
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hello! The audio level and quality is definitely right on this time around! I liked both recordings; they have a young, positive vibe to them. You might want to consider evening out how you say certain phrases, such as “who can help” and “secure your future” and in the Atlanta bread recording the phrase “think of an”, so that it will be clearer for the listener. I think you’re choosing the right emotions, but I would love to hear more of those emotions come through, especially on those descriptive menu items. Keep doing great work!

  • #68994
    GaryDunkel
    Participant

    Hey everyone, first time posting here! I’m fairly new to VO. I have been practicing recording demo scripts for about a year now and just started working with a coach. I have attached 2 Commercial VO’s that I recently recorded and I’d love some feedback if possible.

    I record in my home studio / walk-in closet that is acoustically treated with foam covering all of the walls and I’m recording on an MXL 990 Large Diaphragm Condenser Microphone with Metal Pop Filter, Focusrite Scarlett Solo, and Audacity.

    This is such a great forum and I can’t thank you all enough in advance!

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    • #69035
      hharris
      Participant

      Hi Gary,

      Great sounding recordings and good choices for your voice. Your tone comes off as very sincere in the A1 commercial. The A1 ending didn’t feel like an end statement to me – felt like it could be more to that commercial. Maybe try the last phrase in different rhythms?

      The Pepsi production and read were great. I think you can bring even more energy to the Pepsi spot without it being over the top – your voice is well suited for this spot. Thanks for sharing!

      • #69125
        GaryDunkel
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appreciate that and totally agree with the A1 one. I’m going to re-record it again.

    • #69017
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Gary – I listened to your Pepsi recording. It was really great audio quality and I liked the music choice and the energy of the recording. You might want to consider saying “O” or “Oh,” which happens about eight times in this script, differently from each other, as they all seemed to have the same type of inflection and emphasis on them. This is definitely a fun script and I think your voice is well suited for it. Good job!

      • #69124
        GaryDunkel
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your great feedback! I’ll definitely re-record this spot with different inflections on the Oh’s. That’s definitely great advice!

  • #68988
    TimDKietzman
    Participant

    Hey everyone. As usual, following my coaching session I am uploading three narration scripts for homework. Any feedback is appreciated, but my main goal for the past few uploads has been to avoid having each performance sound the same and to perform each script with enough variety. Any feedback on my general performance is also appreciated.

    Coca-Cola
    Coca-Cola. There may be no other product that reaches more of mankind. It all starts with a secret formula, Coke sends that formula to hundreds of bottling factories around the world. Factories need containers by the millions. The volume is staggering. The speeds are blinding. To put Coca-Cola in easy reach of nearly every human being on Earth, you need ultimate factories.

    Nero – Intro
    He was a perverse, cross-dressing exhibitionist who had an incestuous relationship with his mother and married his step sister. He murdered members of his own family in fits of jealous rage. His cruelty, violence, and grotesque appetite for self-indulgence brought the Roman empire to the brink of financial and political ruin. And he viscously persecuted the Christians. They would remember him as the ultimate embodiment of evil … the anti-christ.

    How to Read Music
    Reading music is often seen as a mysterious and arcane art – but it doesn’t have to be that way! The easy-to-follow lessons and innovative accompanying CD in How to Read Music will show you how to decode those little black dots and, in a short time, you’ll be surprised how fluent you’ve become!

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    • #69045
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hello! I do hear subtle differences between the three reads, but I think the emotion you’ve chosen for each read really needs to be brought out more. What might be getting in the way of my hearing the individual character of each read is that I’m picking up on a pattern where several words are being emphasized within the same phrase, and maybe not all of them need to be emphasized. I would suggest choosing only the most important words to emphasize, which is usually not so much the nouns and pronouns. You’ve selected a good assortment of scripts, and I think your vocal tone in general is great for a wide variety of narrations! Good job, and keep on posting!

  • #68980
    MarkGraff
    Participant

    Hi. These are my first ever uploads for my second coaching session. I am new here, and new to the VO business, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
    Many thanks, Mark

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by MarkGraff. Reason: replacing .wav with .mp3
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    • #68992
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Your deep and authoratative voice is just right for these types of scripts. You really sound like you know what your talking about and anyone who hears you is sure to stop what they’re doing and pay attention. I think the tone you’re using is perfect for explaining the documentary’s subject and the tempo is just right for explaining the subject. However, I think your performance did wind up being monotone with little variety. I would suggest you try hitting various words in a few ways and ensure there’s enough variety. Also, try a different tone for certain sections, that would seriously benefit the listener in knowing that you’re an authority on the subject. Other than that, you’re doing great.

    • #68985
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Mark, you have an amazing voice—-its deep resonance blew me out of my chair and is a pleasure to listen to! Both reads are excellent, all that I feel is missing is perhaps a bit more natural emotion and inflection to your performance. Perhaps visualize who you’re speaking to so that your read sounds a bit more conversational and less like you’re reading a script. For example, your call to action at the close of the Ali read (:53) could be a little more impassioned. You’ve painted a heroic picture of this great man for the first :50 seconds, now you’re inviting the listener to be a part of that great history and that appeal would benefit from being a bit more personal. Well done! Keep up the great work!

      • #69001
        MarkGraff
        Participant

        Thank you Tim. Your feedback is greatly appreciated and I’ll use it to improve going forward.

      • #69000
        MarkGraff
        Participant

        Thanks so much for the kind words and valuable feedback. It helps tremendously and I appreciate the encouragement.

  • #68976
    ericazetti
    Participant

    Hello! More commercial homework, any and all feedback is welcome. Thank you! 🙂

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    • #68986
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Erica! Wonderful reads! Lots of great energy and inflection–very appealing performance for both scripts. If I were to suggest anything, perhaps look at smoothing out your Cherrios read just a bit. The middle is smooth as silk but, to my ears, the beginning and endings sound like comma pauses are becoming period hard stops. “Whole grain oats. Cinnamon. and Cheerios. All rolled into one.” sounds a touch halting to me, whereas “Start your day with the deliciously satisfying crunch…” is natural and smooth. Keep up the amazing work!

    • #68979
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Erica, both reads were great. I thought the Kaye could have show just a ‘tad’ more excitement since I could save 60%. The tempo, and tone were on point. Your voice is warm and inviting. and I enjoyed listening. Keep it up!

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