Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Looking for my connection, tone and pacing for this commercial script:
Introducing lemon pepper chicken, from ice age meals.
Oh yeah…
Made using only the highest-quality ingredients, and preserved using nothing but ice – cold – air.
Delivered frozen, from our kitchen, to your door.
So, try us out, and taste the love.
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looking for my emotional connection and pacing for this script:
“This message is a reminder, not an explanation. This is the statement of an artisan among other artisans, one who knows the quality of their own work, and the work of those around them. It comes from a place of confidence and established relationship, but never arrogance.”
Thanks all!
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Art, I like your accent, Eastern European ? The resonant quality of your voice is authoritative, clear and to the point. It does however sound as though your not feeling the emotion of the script? I struggle with this mightily as well, maybe try to relax and not worry about pronunciation so much but more of a dialogue between two people ie; add questions to the script you can read between sentences so as to give a more realistic delivery, hope that helps!
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Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve uploaded. I am set to record my narration demo this month. To help me practice for the date and beyond, I plan to upload a couple of recordings twice a week, one commercial and one narration. Do you think the scripts sound different enough? I was aiming for improvising the tempo and pitch without marking them, did I do great? Any feedback on how I brought them life and/or on my recording setup is appreciated.
MyFirstFamilySafari.com (Commercial)
Imagine speeding across the stunning Savannah as you race some of the fastest animals on earth. Are your kids with you? Prob’ly not. Let’s face it, taking your kids on a safari may not be the most practical thing in the world. MyFirstFamilySafari.com brings the adventure and excitement of an African safari right to your computer. Enjoy graceful gazelles, enormous elephants, giant giraffes and roaring rhinos as you safely make your way across beautiful landscapes. Adventure awaits you, at MyFirstFamilySafari.com.Creativity (Narration)
Creativity is not the same as hard work or effort, it requires genuine inspiration. It’s the product of a mind thoroughly intrigued by a question, a situation or a possibility, therefore creativity does not come in exchange for money or rewards, but when we focus our attention on something because we want to. -
Hello Everyone,
This is my first post on the Feedback Forum! This is my first assignment. Please provide any feedback on my pacing, flow and recording quality.
I sincerely appreciate your time and input.All the best,
Beverly
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Bev;
Yea! Great voice! Tim has good points and speaks to my work as well; 1) Don’t over do it but sound more excited about this new technology you are selling. 2) Differentiate lists of items with your tone. 3) Be smooth, watch the pauses even with full stops and semi colons.
I find that it really helps to slow the read down and then listen to it several times, eyes closed not looking at the waves, over several listening’s you start to catch a pattern that you know will work; don’t rush practice! -
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I commend you on your formal voice and tone. I think your recording quality is well established and you spoke at a very fitting tempo. However, you sound as if your pausing a lot, (some sound like they’re midsentence) and I’m told that that should be left for full stops or commas. You hit fitting words two and the tone you adopted really suits this script. Your performance still came off as monotone and could use more variety. I hope this helps.
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Hello all!
I just got my first job narrating a book! Here is an upload of a small clip. Any/all suggestions about technique, studio editing is welcome!-
Well you have a great tempo and pitch for this type of book. I think everyone will be expecting a serious tone when hearing a script like this and you really nailed it. Although, I think the tone you adopted needs work. You don’t sound quite as interested in the subject matter as you should and I don’t think it works to keep us engaged. On another note, you’re recording setup is fantastic! I hope your recording of this book goes well.
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BlueBell: I think you have the tempo down great and hit the correct words. The tone you were going for is what I would envision for an ice cream commercial, but I don’t think pulled it off. Imagine relaxing with a bowl of this so you can sound interested. Also, act more “urging” since you’re selling something to listeners.
SmokeTreeRose: I would say the same about this one, your tempo and pitch were well applied. However the tone doesn’t match for this type of script. I think it should be more “in awe” rather than relaxed.
AppleWatch: Now the tone of script should be very excited or active, but you still sound relaxed and not very keen to share this product with the listeners. The tempo worked though and you hit the right words. …except for the list which should have varying tones.Finally, in regards to all of them I think the recording quality needs work and the microphone seems to be making a “buzz.” I hope this helps.
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Good Day All,
Please give me your honest feedback on these practice commercial scripts for my homework. Any feedback would be appreciated!
Thank you in advance!
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Hi Nailah, I listened to your reads, thought I’d share with you my notes as I listened.
Pizza Hut – good tempo, good differentiation, and good tone. Very good job.
Special K – Very good read, great tone, good differentiation. Perhaps enunciate a bit more clearly with the line, “putthing them in a box”
Spotify – good differentiation, good tone, good read.
Overall very good job.
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Hi Don, Here are my thoughts with your two reads:
Kawasaki – Great tone, hit words nicely. I would suggest slowing down the tempo just a bit. The read sounds a bit rushed.
Berringer – Great tone, hit the ending very well. Maybe differentiate a bit more in the first ten seconds of the read. Also similar to Kawasaki, the tempo sounds a bit rushed.
Overall solid job.
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Hey folks!
Quick Motel 6 spot for my commercial homework! Do I sound like I’m reading? What does it need to jazz it up or make me sound like I am a trusted Motel 6 employee?
((( No notes needed on audio quality please, this was done on my iphone 😉 )))Thanks a million!
G -
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Hello Audra! Good clear tone!
Listen back for some melodies and up swings on “Wall Street Journal” – try to slow down and emphasize the “… I read the Wall Street Journal” evenly bc these are the “money words” and they are the most important to hear and get into listeners’ brains 🙂 One other tidbit, try to pronounce the full word “of” in “5% alcohol of course” on take two of Twsited Tea, instead of “a-course.” Keep it up!! /Greta
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