Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hello everyone! This may be my last upload before my narrative demo prep starts. Any and all feedback welcomed.
Kids Activity TV
Every day is an adventure with Activity TV. It’s the place to be for hundreds of Awesome activities in dozens of categories! Cartooning to magic to cooking and more – ready for you day or night. This month learn some gross out magic. Watch closely as Ryan teaches you to perform the severed finger trick!
Partial Knee Replacement
A partial knee replacement is an alternative to total knee replacement for some patients with osteoarthritis of the knee.
This surgery can be done when the damage is confined to a particular compartment of the knee.
In the past, partial knee replacement was reserved for older patients who were involved in few activities. Now, partial knee replacement is often preferred in the younger population as their recovery is quicker.Marvelous Mitochondrion
Hi, I’m a Mitochondrion. But you can call me “Mito.” I’m called an “organelle” because I’m so tiny, but I’m really important. I’ve been called the powerhouse of a cell, because I’m how cells get their chemical energy. I generate most of a cell’s adenosine triphosphate, or ATP, from which your body in turn makes DNA, and other important molecules.-
Hey 🙂 Great job for getting those recorded and posted!
So, I’ve actually worked on the kids activity TV script for practice in the past. Something that we worked on, that will help you as well, is adding some differentiation into the list part: from cartooning to magic… that sentence. And then, listen to the end of it; you mispronounced severed and it sounded like servered.
I loved the voice you used in mitochondrion! 🙂 -
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Hello, its been a while since I’ve posted. I would love constructive, honest feedback on reads.
Dove Moisturizing Hand Sanitizer
Want to keep your hands hydrated and healthy. Try new Dove nourishing hand sanitizer. With a blend of oils and a silky feel its 99.99% effective against germs and hydrates hands for hours. The 2oz size is perfect for your purse. Dove Nourishing Hand Sanitizer in Lavender and Chamomile.My Life
Your days may be up and down. Turn to MyLife for the right mindfulness boost, any time of day.
It all starts with how you’re feeling, right now. You’ll enjoy a customized experience from over 400 relaxation activities, each one about 10 minutes or less. MyLife delivers exactly what you need – because it always starts with you.Keratin Smoothing Oil Shampoo
5 Benefits. 1 Bottle. Behold, the ultimate multi-tasker-5 benefits in 1 bottle. Indulge in this keratin-infused shampoo for shiny, frizz-free hair that’s never felt smoother. Feel the Love, Love the Feel. Keratin Smoothing Oil Shampoo.-
Hey,
You have that sweet dainty voice. I will agree with Sherry, about the ta in ‘Dove’ – I’m working on that too. Your pauses are noticeable, which makes the performance choppy. Remember to target who and why you’re sharing the information to make your performances sound more conversational. Nice job, can’t wait to hear more! -
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Hi 🙂
Dove, at the beginning, check your first few words. Make sure to say to instead of ta. I have to work on that all the time as well, haha.
Keratin is a bit choppy (again, something I have to work on also), but I like the way you said “feel the love, love the feel”.
My life: there are a lot of pops of air going into your mic. To combat this, you can get a pop filter or you can also just turn your head a slight angle away from the mic so your air isn’t blowing straight into it.
Hope this helps! Good job 🙂 -
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Hello!
Decided to re-upload these for some practice, feedback is always greatly appreciated so thank you!
Purina Dog Chow Light & Healthy TV Spot
You like to keep your family healthy and fit, and now there’s a new way to do the same for your dog. Introducing new Purina Dog Chow Light and Healthy. It’s a no sacrifices, calorie light way to keep him trim, with the deliciously tender and crunchy kibble blend he’ll love…and 22% fewer calories than Dog Chow. Discover the lighter side of strong. New Purina Dog Chow Light and Healthy.Disney Cruise Line
Escape on a fantasy unlike anything you’ve ever imagined. A Disney Cruise Line Vacation. Start planning today and set sail on a dream.-
Your tone is quite nice. Your recording quality sounds good too. I think you may want to take a little time to enunciate your words and watch for words stringing/slurring together. Also one big point I would suggest (for the dog chow commercial) is to be sure you are pronouncing the product name as accurately as possible. Maybe look up a YouTube video or a current commercial to hear the product name. Otherwise, I really enjoyed listening to you! 🙂
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would welcome feedback on this e-learning script: Would you like to buy a house? Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one. Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run. But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house. Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.
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Hi Steve, I liked this! It had personality and it felt like you were speaking to me rather than reading. There were some pauses that you could probably do without, and the only thing that I noticed is you sometimes emphasized words the same way (“maybe” “love” “most” “bad” “dumb”), so maybe try other ways to accentuate those words. I liked that you delivered “without realizing it” with a sort of humorous wink–just make sure you don’t pause on either side of fit too much. Excellent job!
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Hello! I like the tone of your voice, the clarity of your delivery, and these scripts are suited for you. However, it seemed to me that they were all read with the same emotion. It also sounded like you were reading, at times. What might help is to visualize yourself talking to a person next to you, and saying each line with the intention of painting a picture to the other person. For the Cancun copy, be sure not to rush it, and know that there is one feeling you are conveying in the first half (grandeur, lore, legend), and then it changes at “Today…” to a more contemporary feeling. For the Bayer recording, the delivery could be less explainer-style and perhaps more historical account/storytelling style. It seemed almost pleasant, even though the first sentence was suggesting that something else was coming. I would start that sentence with an emphasis on “We” rather than “live”. It could take on a whole different meaning once you do that. I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Hey Everybody!
I need your feedback on these reads. Just give it to me straight, I can take it — I think! I’m gearing up to record my commercial demo, so don’t hold back!
Thanks!Peet’s Coffee
characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.MILK
You know, every day is a new experience for me. There are so many things to do, and so much to learn about in school. The only way I know to get all of it done, and do it right, is to start the day off with a glass of milk. Milk puts me right where I need to be, and then I’m ready to make the most of the day. MILK … it’s the energizer I can’t do without.-
Your voice makes me smile! It feels so warm and comforting (like a big hug!). I feel like for these two reads, they might need just a teeny little more pep and energy. You have a really great tone to your voice. Nice!
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Hi suecat, I like that you’ve become more relaxed in your delivery, which certainly provides a good flow and natural sound. However, you don’t want to get too relaxed because you need to match the pacing of the images that the listener might be seeing on the screen. For the Peet’s Coffee, there could be different images of Marie, portraying different characters as a ballet dancer. Then when you switch to Alfred Peet, consider a different way to emphasize his name. It sounds nit-picky, but he’s a coffee brewer and not a ballet dancer, so I’m just suggesting that there might be a different feel to his character in the way you say his name. Continue to keep your read in pace with the imagery, building up to that tag line at the end, which needs to be delivered with a hint more pride. Overall, your reads are always so pleasant and relatable to listen to. Good job!
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Looking for my connection, tone and pacing for this commercial script:
Introducing lemon pepper chicken, from ice age meals.
Oh yeah…
Made using only the highest-quality ingredients, and preserved using nothing but ice – cold – air.
Delivered frozen, from our kitchen, to your door.
So, try us out, and taste the love.
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looking for my emotional connection and pacing for this script:
“This message is a reminder, not an explanation. This is the statement of an artisan among other artisans, one who knows the quality of their own work, and the work of those around them. It comes from a place of confidence and established relationship, but never arrogance.”
Thanks all!
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Art, I like your accent, Eastern European ? The resonant quality of your voice is authoritative, clear and to the point. It does however sound as though your not feeling the emotion of the script? I struggle with this mightily as well, maybe try to relax and not worry about pronunciation so much but more of a dialogue between two people ie; add questions to the script you can read between sentences so as to give a more realistic delivery, hope that helps!
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