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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Campbell’s Home Cookin’ :30
What do Campbell’s kids eat when they’re not kids anymore? Introducing new Chicken and Pasta with Roasted Garlic from Campbell’s. Imagine perfectly diced chicken simmered in rich chicken broth and seasoned with robust notes of roasted garlic ….all brimming with crisp garden celery, fresh carrots, and deliciously plump penne and rotini. Home Cookin’ Soup that’s a lot more seasoned. But then….so are you. Home Cookin’ Campbell’s. Good for the body. Good for the Soul.
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Hello everyone,
Here is my homework for my next session. Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you all!
-Ryan
Bose Home Theatre Systems
Bose home theater systems customize their sound to fit your room.
Choosing anything less just doesn’t make sense.
BOSE … better sound through research.Iphone 4 ad
It’s the end of the day. And you missed it. Where did those hours go? Get in the driver’s seat and capture your life with the iPhone 4s – the fastest, most powerful smartphone on the market. Voice activation, video, and much more. In stores now.No!
Kids hate the word no. As in no you can’t stay up late, no you can’t have more ice cream and no, you may not paint the cat. No, no, NO! Well isn’t it time for a yes? We think so. Six Flags Great Adventure. Yes!-
Hi, Ryan!
Nice reads. For the iPhone ad, I’d recommend being careful that some of your sentences/statements ending with an up inflection. I’d also eliminate the break between “fastest” and “most powerful”. Overall it has such a nice fluid feel.
Loved the energy in the No! ad. You did a great job increasing the feeling of the no in the first list. Careful to read as scripted: “no you may not paint the cat” instead of “no you can’t paint the cat”.
Great work!
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Hi there! I’ve created this recording as if it were an audition with a slate and two reads. I imagined that the instructions were “friendly neighbor, slightly sarcastic”. I’d love feedback on the tone and variety of the two takes. Thank you!
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Hi everyone! I’m back for my commercial training and learning the differences between it and Narration. This is my first homework for it so please do lend me your ears and feedback. Thanks!
Script
Nintendo Switch TV Spot – “Our Way to Play: Teamwork”
After soccer practice, the fun and games continue. Lauren’s the goalie. She grabs every green star. Teagans on defense, there to protect the team. Paige is the star striker. You can count on her to take the shot. Then there’s me. Well, I just like playing games with my friends! Teamwork. That’s our way to play.I personally think my tempo might be too quick and I probably could’ve treated the character names more like “Lists” in terms of emphasis/tone shifts for variety. But I didn’t want to overthink it and see if anyone else agrees. Again thanks!
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I think your tempo was right on the money. I do like your idea of working with the player names to vary them a little. I would also be more clear when you say the word “teamwork” since that’s such a natural change to introduce the end of the script.
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Hey folks! Looking for feedback on my read (not audio). Do I exude my inner athlete? Do I make you want to buy some new Nike gear and get fit? Thanks! /Greta
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Hey Greta, You have a lovely voice. The beginning of the performance suggests that you’re building excitement, but your tone stays the same. I think if you increase your pitch by a half step per phase, I’d probably search the Nike website for some of their great gear! Still a nice job!
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Please give me your opinion on my pacing, and connection to these scripts:
Script 1:
Let’s take a look behind the scenes at some of the ways we strive to be the safest place to work while we fulfil your order.
From the start of a package’s journey, we use a range of specialized equipment to safely enhance our operations.
Packages enter our buildings through loading docks. To make these critical areas safer, our team created automated, digital cockpits to track trailers. Before anyone approaches to start unloading, we ensure they are properly docked and stationaryScript 2:
Operating efficiently in today’s global economy requires greater transparency and visibility than ever before.And the old linear supply chain simply isn’t keeping up.
At TrackX, we provide enterprise scalable solutions to deliver better tracing, tracking and visibility throughout global supply chains.
The TrackX platform captures real-time event-driven data leading companies trust to identify inefficiencies, prove sustainability, and satisfy ESG requirements.
TrackX – Revolutionizing the Supply Chain for a More Sustainable World
Find out more at TrackX.com
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Hi Everyone,
I am attaching three narration scripts and would welcome any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
1. Emily Dickinson loved words ardently. Her feeling about them amounted to veneration and her selection of them was ritualistic. In one poem she states “A word that breathes distinctly has not the power to die”. As an artist, she conceived of brevity, not as a way to sketch in miniature, but as a means of achieving the single moment of intensity. Dickinson knew she could not pierce through to the unknowable, but she insisted on asking the questions.
2. By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe and H****r began to tighten the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had an unusual secret weapon: crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British. They were recruited with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in a seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted could be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.
3. Thank you for calling Franklin Investments. Our offices are currently closed. Our telephone service business hours are Monday through Friday, from 5.30 am until 5:00 PM Pacific Time. However, you may access fund prices and account information via the Internet at franklin.com or if you are calling from a touch-tone telephone you may press 1 now and you will be connected to our automated fax system. If you would like to leave a message, please press 2 now. Thank you again for calling Franklin investments.
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Wow, what a lovely voice you have. Your voice sounds perfect for audiobooks since it’s very warm and nostalgic. My only criticism would be for the last read for Franklin Investments. Unlike an audiobook, you don’t really want long pauses on a recorded message. You had a tendency to drag out your vowels during this read, if you shortened your vowels a bit I think this read would be perfect.
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I think you spoke very clearly. I’m assuming that this read was for a commercial, my suggestion to you would be to go over your script and highlight the words you actually want to put emphasis on. At the beginning of the read, it almost sounded like you were doing a monologue for a character. The tone was very conversational . There are commercials where you may want to be conversational, but others where you want to build the listeners intrigue in the product you’re selling. Marking the words you want to hit will help you monitor your tone. You want to hit keywords like “born”, “quick”, “adapt”, “respond”. Slowing down the read a bit would help the listener recognize those keywords too.
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