Feedback Forum

Viewing 3,056 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #68925
    Oktober10
    Participant

    Hi everyone, uploading some files trying out my mic. I’m not as concerned with the audio quality as I am the performance at this point. I appreciate the feedback!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68961
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You have a great voice and the way you brought these to life was well applied. In each script you sound natural and the tempo remains smooth with no pauses midsentence. I did occasionally hear a mouth noise though and there were some small problems in each recording.
      Always: I don’t you emphasized “Always” very well. I barely caught that that was the client you were promoting.
      Ambien: Very smooth, but not much variety between the phrases. Try emphasizing different ways or incorporating another tone at some point.
      Burts-Bees: Same as before. The list items sound exactly the same and it’s especially important to make variety in those. Also, you didn’t sound very interested in the product when it came time to promote it.
      Mr. Coffee: Fantastic performance, though I would suggest considering the “spirit” of the script. I don’t think your tone quite matches.

    • #68947
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi Oktober10. Beautiful reads, your voice is warm and approachable, yet trustworthy and authoritative. The one thing that struck me is that I occasionally hear a bit of splash on some of your “s” sounds–for example, the 2nd track at the :09 mark “balance”, and the 3rd track at the :08 mark “boss” (This is something I have to work on myself). While all the performances are great, I think the 4th read for Mister Coffee is my favorite–very conversational with a dash of playfulness. Keep up the great work!

      • #68955
        Oktober10
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your feedback! Very helpful details that I will work on. 😀

    • #68941
      Isaac M.
      Participant

      First track: good stuff. I’d play around a little more with the pitch/inflection/tone of some of the words, but not much more, just to enhance some of the variety that’s already there. but that’s nitpicking, overall it sounds good.

      Second track: well done. nothing to say here.

      Third track: also great. I’d change up the tone a bit at “Introducing”, just to add bit more of a musical quality to it all, and I’m talking a tiny bit, simply because while the fluctuations are great, it can start to feel a bit monotone, especially towards the end. So if there’s a way to make it a little, and I mean a little less monotone without sacrificing the natural quality of the delivery, awesome.

      Fourth track: Here the delivery, at times sounds over-affected, so I’d try to make it sound more natural, less forced.

      So, the performance/technique was great.

      Watch out for some of the unwanted noises made between words, like especially after “I’m a boss” on the third track, but you can hear what sounds like a clicking noise from the inside of your mouth as you formulate your words at other intervals in that track. Regardless of the audio quality that will come up in a recording.

      Excellent work it was a pleasure listening to you.

      • #68956
        Oktober10
        Participant

        Hi Isaac, Thank you so much for your comments. They are very insightful and helpful. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

  • #68916
    Isaac M.
    Participant

    Two tracks here, for two different scripts. The first track has two different takes for a “Home Tour.” Which one do you think works better? What are the pros and cons of each one?

    The second track has just one take for a script on Italy. How would you describe the tone? Do you think I’m hitting the right words or should the emphasis be changed?

    Thanks again for all your help!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68944
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi, Isaac. Very crisp and clear reads as always. Your Home Tour performance feels a touch rushed to me. As you are describing such an elegant manor, perhaps your read might breathe a bit (like a fine wine). Try romancing the words a bit more as you linger on the home’s finer features. You also might experiment with what words you emphasize. For example, “Nestled in the rolling hills of the river VALLEY” doesn’t feel as natural as perhaps emphasizing “rolling hills” instead. Enjoyed your Italy read very much. Good pacing and solid choices on where to place emphases. Keep up the great work!

      • #68957
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        Great feedback, thanks!

    • #68930
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Isaac, the second take of the Home Tour reads sounded a little smoother than the first for me…in the first take, the first sentence emphasized words that may not need it. If the important part of the sentence is the “gracious home is a rare find,” then I feel like the phrase leading up to it is not as important (but plays a supportive role) and maybe shouldn’t be enhanced as much. When reading lists, you might want to make sure your inflection on each item has a slightly different feeling, and give each item some space, because the lists in the Italy read went quite fast. It sounds like you are hitting the right words, but I think some of the emphasis could be changed in the sense that rather than emphasize the word, change something else about it – say it slower, say it with an up inflection, or say it with a certain emotion.

      • #68940
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        Thanks a lot for the feedback!

  • #68914
    Isaac M.
    Participant

    This is for an “educational explainer video for real estate”. I’d love to get some feedback on it. Thanks a lot!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68946
      rogue1
      Participant

      Very nice, Isaac! I feel like you are talking to me directly and not reading a script. Agree with nettipo1 that you seem to pick up a bit too much speed at the end after a very well-paced read. Great work!

    • #68932
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Issac, this read is very nice and conversational! I don’t have much to say but be mindful of going too fast on the last sentence.

  • #68911
    Isaac M.
    Participant

    Hey everybody,

    Got some more stuff to get feedback on. Here I have three takes of the same copy, one in the first track, and two in the second. Let me know which takes you think are best, or the pros and cons of each one.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68959
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      I would say the third take is the best. (The second recording in the file marked “21”) It sounds much smoother than the other two and you say everything clearly yet naturally. It also has a suitable pace for a promo and you brought it to life in the way a promo should be: a happy blend between conversational and announcer. The first take was too slow and I think the second take didn’t have enough variation between the adjectives.

  • #68909
    rogue1
    Participant

    Happy Wednesday, everyone. Quick one this evening—-three takes playing with variations on emphasis. As always, appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you for taking the time to listen!

    KFC

    The most delicious union of all time is back. Kentucky Fried Chicken and Waffles, for a limited time at KFC.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
  • #68879
    rogue1
    Participant

    Hello, Forum Folks. A new read for Pure Leaf Iced Tea (very appropriate due the sweltering summer weather!) Appreciate all feedback–thank you for taking the time to listen!

    PURE LEAF

    At Pure Leaf, real tea leaves meet real brewing expertise. We blend the finest tea leaves and brew them at a lower temperature for smooth, delicious, real brewed iced tea. Pure Leaf, our thing is tea.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68899
      hharris
      Participant

      Hi rogue1 – your voice is well suited for this type of ad. Calming, soothing, and rich. It sounds spot on from the intro, but I do agree that the shift on the descriptive words does break up the tempo a bit. Maybe play around on which descriptive words to focus on – one or two each read. Your voice and tone are so well done, I think a read with few inflections would still work well. Thanks for sharing!

      • #68905
        rogue1
        Participant

        Thank you for the insightful feedback, hharris. Will definitely work on my tempo and inflections, as well as experimenting more with what descriptors I choose to emphasize in my read. Appreciate your having a listen!

    • #68893
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Rogue, You sound like a natural. Your voice is smooth and conversational. Once again, you knocked it out the park! Great performance!

      • #68906
        rogue1
        Participant

        You’re far too kind, suecat. Appreciate the encouragement and your taking the time to listen!

    • #68889
      Isaac M.
      Participant

      This was spot-on, the delivery and technique coming off as effortless and professional. You might want to tone it down a bit, but just a bit, on words like “expertise” and “finest”. And while I really like the acting at “smooth, delicious, real brewed,” slowing down the tempo that much feels a little forced as it sort of breaks the flow you’d skillfully developed until then. Overall, I’d say the tone, fluctuations in pitch, and quality of both the voice and the recording are on point.

      • #68907
        rogue1
        Participant

        Thank you for the encouraging feedback, Isaac. I definitely hear that change in tempo you and hharris mention when I start “romancing” the quality of the tea. Will look to make that rhythm flow more more naturally in future. Thanks again for weighing in!

  • #68862
    Mike
    Participant

    Hi! I’m Mike and I was told to upload my homework here for feedback. I hope you can spare the time to listen and give me notes. Thanks.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68960
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      Well Mike, I can honestly say you’re on the right track. Each of your takes sounds different and your tone of sounding embarressed, aggravated, or defensive remains consistent in each of them. Although, I think you should work on making your voice sound more natural. You sound more like an announcer to a crowd and voice acting is meant to be conversational. You may be trying too hard to make them sound different. Also, you pause midsentence. Be sure save pauses for commas, periods, or other full stops. I hope this helps.

    • #68883
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi, Mike. Great exercise! You definitely emphasized the words in such a way that the tone and emotion subtly change each time in your delivery. Keep up the great work!

    • #68865
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hello! It’s interesting how it does change the emotion slightly when you emphasize a different word. Around when you emphasized “stole” or “my,” I could hear a slight change from maybe a frustrated emotion in the beginning, to a lighter almost playful tone.

  • #68859
    Isaac M.
    Participant

    Trying out some more narrative pieces here, this one with a more storytelling edge to it. Looking to get some feedback on it.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68962
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You brought the script to life so well, I would agree though that it sounds more like an audiobook than a movie narration. An audiobook generally sounds the same from beginning to end with a consistent pace, but a narration like this I think would have more feeling for each moment it’s describing. I hope that helps.

    • #68897
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Isaac, I think whether this is an audiobook or movie narration, the narrator still needs to help paint the characters and the story for the listener by giving descriptive words more color, and bringing out the moments–and when the moments change–in the story. Words such as spoiled, selfish and unkind, and shining castle, could be knit together and given some flavor so that the listener will connect those together and quickly get an idea of who the prince is. Same thing with the woman; I think words like “beggar” or “haggard” could be colored in more to show the contrast between her and the prince. Then, for those moments when she turns into an enchantress, and when she turns him into a beast – these are definitely changes in the story that could be brought out more..I’m not sure how, but maybe a slight pause after something happens, or a change in inflection on “enchantress” or “beast” because for the first-time listener, these are unexpected things. Sorry if I’m going on too long in what I’m saying…Your voice has a really nice tone and clarity that is nice to listen to, and it has a nice amount of gravitas in it, so all that I’m saying here may amount to just a couple of additional choices you could make on what to play up on.

      • #68904
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        Thanks a lot the feedback!

    • #68886
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi, Isaac. Your slate says movie, but I have to say I found your read to be a solid audiobook narration (I could hear the Menken score playing in my head while I was listening). Well done keeping the energy flowing and holding the listeners’ attention through such a long script.

      • #68887
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        I appreciate the feedback. Yeah the script is called movie narration, so I guess I’ll need feedback from my coach (but you’re welcome to provide any insight) on how to distinguish between audiobook reading and a movie narration.

  • #68856
    Isaac M.
    Participant

    Here are two versions of the same copy. Which one do you think works better? And how would you describe the tone in each version?

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68901
      hharris
      Participant

      Hi Isaac,
      The tone of the first read felt more precise and assertive like you’re guiding a paced-out presentation. Whereas the second read has more of a personal quality for me. It feels like you’re guiding a story in my mind – the tone is more serene and there’s a slight touch of awe. Makes me interested in the story to come. Both reads sound solid though…Thanks for sharing!

      • #68903
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback!

    • #68884
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hi, Isaac. Great job on two distinct interpretations of the same script! I must say I find your second read the most appealing of the two. While both reads are very crisp and clear, your second one has a more natural, flowing quality which is very inviting to the ear. Your first read, though perhaps more authoritative in tone, has a bit of a halting, staccato quality that doesn’t sound quite as pleasing. Really well done! Keep up the great work!

      • #68888
        Isaac M.
        Participant

        very helpful feedback thanks

  • #68843
    Jayburglar
    Participant

    Starting work on my narration demo. Here’s 3 spots I did for homework with my coach. I’d appreciate any feedback!

    APOLLO 16:
    The year was 1967, and the astronauts of Apollo 16 were going to the moon. This is Charlie Duke, Lunar Module Pilot on Apollo 16. This amazing little capsule went by the call-sign CASPER, and it was the heart of an immense system of rocket engineering that got the astronauts safely to the moon and back.

    CONGAREE NATIONAL PARK:
    IT IS A PLACE OF CONSTANT CHANGE. OF WOOD AND WATER, SUNLIGHT AND SHADE. THIS IS CONGAREE NATIONAL PARK.

    NOT FAR FROM SOUTH CAROLINA’S STATE CAPITOL, THIS MAJESTIC WILDERNESS OF TOWERING TREES IS A SANCTUARY. FOR WILDLIFE… FOR CHAMPION TREES… FOR VISITORS FROM AROUND THE WORLD.

    DAY BY DAY, SEASON BY SEASON, THIS FLOODPLAIN FOREST CHANGES–SHAPED AND RESHAPED BY WATER. A NEW PLACE TO EXPLORE…EACH TIME YOU RETURN..

    YELLOWSTONE:
    In the northern part of the park, large stretches of grass and sagebrush spread across the mountains and valleys. Similar to the prairies, this habitat provides an excellent home to the badger and her new family. They see light, for perhaps the first time. A strange new world for them. And they stay close to their mother at first. But growing bolder, they begin to explore on their own.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #68890
      rogue1
      Participant

      Hello, Jay. Wow. Beautiful voice, amazing range, and very accomplished reads. (You’re hired! 🙂) My only suggestion is to perhaps soften the emotional tone on your read for Congaree National Park–infuse a bit more of a “sense of wonder” about the majestic beauty and ever-changing topography you’re describing. Seems a more natural fit (no pun intended).

    • #68876
      taylorn.quinn
      Participant

      Hi,
      I love your voice and how different you can make it sound. I only have two things that stuck out to me that you might want to check out: the first is the Apollo one sounded really loud I am talking my headphones even were pulsating. Maybe check your DAW and other systems and also see where you were in regards to the mic. The other one was a general one and that is to watch your vocal fry. While it worked for the last two, it still sometimes sounded like you were possibly losing your voice at times or running out of air.
      Other than that keep up the great work!

    • #68854
      Isaac M.
      Participant

      You’ve got an awesome voice and the quality of the recording sounds great. The execution is also captivating.

      My main critique would be that, especially in the first two (Apollo/Congaree), there are parts that sound overdone. I’d tone down the performative aspect of it because the pieces start to sound like a commercial. So if this is for a trailer, then great, if it’s more of a documentary-type of thing, I’d make it a bit more neutral without all the (very impressive) fluctuations in tone, pitch, etc.

    • #68853
      suecat
      Participant

      Hey Jay- Your deep, smooth voice, is a good fit for narration. Your performance was captivating. I’m from SC, listening to you, made me want to visit Congaree Nat’l Park – AGAIN! Keep it up!

Viewing 3,056 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.