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  • #69962
    Don Sack
    Participant

    Greetings All;
    Two spots, let me know how you feel?

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    • #69998
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Don, Here are my thoughts with your two reads:

      Kawasaki – Great tone, hit words nicely. I would suggest slowing down the tempo just a bit. The read sounds a bit rushed.

      Berringer – Great tone, hit the ending very well. Maybe differentiate a bit more in the first ten seconds of the read. Also similar to Kawasaki, the tempo sounds a bit rushed.

      Overall solid job.

      • #70004
        Don Sack
        Participant

        Thanks Erik! You are correct, I need to slow it down; I get that from my coach all the time! The Russian’s are in the Holland Tunnel, get this done! LOL!

  • #69957
    greta_j
    Participant

    Hey folks!
    Quick Motel 6 spot for my commercial homework! Do I sound like I’m reading? What does it need to jazz it up or make me sound like I am a trusted Motel 6 employee?
    ((( No notes needed on audio quality please, this was done on my iphone 😉 )))

    Thanks a million!
    G

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    • #69961
      Don Sack
      Participant

      Greta;
      Nice voice! Very clear. Yup, sounds like your reading; be happy! Also, unnecessary pauses, make ‘er flowwwww.

  • #69944
    Oktober10
    Participant

    LAST ONE I PROMISE!

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    • #69949
      greta_j
      Participant

      Hello Audra! Good clear tone!
      Listen back for some melodies and up swings on “Wall Street Journal” – try to slow down and emphasize the “… I read the Wall Street Journal” evenly bc these are the “money words” and they are the most important to hear and get into listeners’ brains 🙂 One other tidbit, try to pronounce the full word “of” in “5% alcohol of course” on take two of Twsited Tea, instead of “a-course.” Keep it up!! /Greta

  • #69939
    Oktober10
    Participant

    and, s’more….

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  • #69934
    Oktober10
    Participant

    More for coaching session……

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  • #69929
    Oktober10
    Participant

    Hi all, these are for my coaching session but I always apreciate your feedback too! Thanks.

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  • #69926
    Sherry Newell
    Participant

    Hi all! Looking for some feedback on some commercial homework 🙂
    Two very different commercials here. Thanks in advance!

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    • #69950
      greta_j
      Participant

      Hi Sherry! Nice reads.
      – I think you could experiment being even more smooth and silky on the Bare Minerals read.
      – On Ben and Jerry’s, I think you could go more casual, with less annunciation, and vary your pitch even more 🙂 Have fun!
      /Greta

  • #69915
    adamhurd
    Participant

    Hello! I’d appreciate any feedback you all can provide.

    JC Penny
    Your brain has 2 sides. The right side: creative, buys things, has fun. The left side: organized, practical, saves money. Now JC Penney makes both sides happy. It’s the buy more, save more sale. It’s simple, the more you buy, the more you save. 20 to 30%. So use your head. Buy more. Save more. Only at JC Penney.

    Fairies
    Do you believe in fairies? They are not as friendly as once thought. First they bite. It feels like a little pick; a sting on the skin. When it begins to glow, that is what you have to be careful of. Then you’re in for quite a rush, my dear boy. You see, their glittery skin, their sprinkling wings, and glowing smiles – it’s all just a trick; and they love to play tricks, especially on the ones that are fond of them. You think we are evil, we are devilish, these little girls (if you choose to call them that) are much much darker than we.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by adamhurd.
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    • #69922
      Sherry Newell
      Participant

      Hey there 🙂
      Overall I liked your tone and tempo. At the end of JC Penny, you really kind of loose the energy and let the name of the company fall off. Just make sure you don’t let those “money words” be forgotten since the business name is crucial to the commercial.
      Fairies was great :), I really enjoyed the sort of sarcasm in the character. I’m not exactly sure what it was, but at the beginning, its almost like the words are muddled or pronounced a little different than the rest of the read… something was pulling attention. Hope that helps! Sorry, I wasn’t more specific. Good job!

  • #69913
    mkell755
    Participant

    Hello all! I’m looking for any and all feedback for my upcoming narration demo. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

    Mary

    With one of the most instantly recognizable photographic styles, Ansel Adams is known for capturing majestic images of the American West. As a master of the darkroom, Adams created outstanding contrasts using extensive dodging and burning methods. His famous landscapes were primarily shot using large-format cameras.

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    • #69923
      Sherry Newell
      Participant

      Hi Mary 🙂
      Oh my gosh, you are doing so good! I remember listening to some of your homework awhile back, and its fun to hear the progress! Well done 🙂
      OK, the first time you say, Ansel Adams, it almost sounds like the name was “cut and pasted” into that spot. I’m not sure if maybe the name was a little flat, or that there seemed to be the tiniest pause before saying “is”. You’re doing great!

      • #69948
        mkell755
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback Sherry! That is so nice to hear that progress is being made 🙂 I will listen for he flatness / unnaturalness of saying Ansel Adams in my mind I was trying to emphasize “Ansel Adams” as the subject of the piece, like in a commercial, but it probably does not need that much emphasis and separation, good point! Thank you again!

        Mary

  • #69911
    Evette75
    Participant

    My Life
    Your days may be up and down. Turn to MyLife for the right mindfulness boost, any time of day.
    It all starts with how you’re feeling, right now. You’ll enjoy a customized experience from over 400 relaxation activities, each one about 10 minutes or less. MyLife delivers exactly what you need – because it always starts with you.

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