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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Please give me your opinion on my pacing, and connection to these scripts:
Script 1:
Let’s take a look behind the scenes at some of the ways we strive to be the safest place to work while we fulfil your order.
From the start of a package’s journey, we use a range of specialized equipment to safely enhance our operations.
Packages enter our buildings through loading docks. To make these critical areas safer, our team created automated, digital cockpits to track trailers. Before anyone approaches to start unloading, we ensure they are properly docked and stationaryScript 2:
Operating efficiently in today’s global economy requires greater transparency and visibility than ever before.And the old linear supply chain simply isn’t keeping up.
At TrackX, we provide enterprise scalable solutions to deliver better tracing, tracking and visibility throughout global supply chains.
The TrackX platform captures real-time event-driven data leading companies trust to identify inefficiencies, prove sustainability, and satisfy ESG requirements.
TrackX – Revolutionizing the Supply Chain for a More Sustainable World
Find out more at TrackX.com
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Hi Everyone,
I am attaching three narration scripts and would welcome any and all feedback.
Regards,
John
1. Emily Dickinson loved words ardently. Her feeling about them amounted to veneration and her selection of them was ritualistic. In one poem she states “A word that breathes distinctly has not the power to die”. As an artist, she conceived of brevity, not as a way to sketch in miniature, but as a means of achieving the single moment of intensity. Dickinson knew she could not pierce through to the unknowable, but she insisted on asking the questions.
2. By mid-1940, the German Army had conquered all of western Europe and H****r began to tighten the noose around Britain. In the Atlantic, German U-boats were decimating Allied convoys, threatening to cut off Britain’s only lifeline. But Churchill had an unusual secret weapon: crossword fanatics, chess champions, mathematicians, students and professors, Americans and British. They were recruited with one common aim: to unlock the secrets of Enigma, a machine that concealed Germany’s war plans in a seemingly unbreakable code. If Enigma could be penetrated, everything H****r plotted could be known in advance. At Bletchley Park, there unfolded one of the most astonishing exploits of the Second World War.
3. Thank you for calling Franklin Investments. Our offices are currently closed. Our telephone service business hours are Monday through Friday, from 5.30 am until 5:00 PM Pacific Time. However, you may access fund prices and account information via the Internet at franklin.com or if you are calling from a touch-tone telephone you may press 1 now and you will be connected to our automated fax system. If you would like to leave a message, please press 2 now. Thank you again for calling Franklin investments.
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Wow, what a lovely voice you have. Your voice sounds perfect for audiobooks since it’s very warm and nostalgic. My only criticism would be for the last read for Franklin Investments. Unlike an audiobook, you don’t really want long pauses on a recorded message. You had a tendency to drag out your vowels during this read, if you shortened your vowels a bit I think this read would be perfect.
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I think you spoke very clearly. I’m assuming that this read was for a commercial, my suggestion to you would be to go over your script and highlight the words you actually want to put emphasis on. At the beginning of the read, it almost sounded like you were doing a monologue for a character. The tone was very conversational . There are commercials where you may want to be conversational, but others where you want to build the listeners intrigue in the product you’re selling. Marking the words you want to hit will help you monitor your tone. You want to hit keywords like “born”, “quick”, “adapt”, “respond”. Slowing down the read a bit would help the listener recognize those keywords too.
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Hello Everyone,
This is my final Narration homework before my demo. I’d appreciate any feedback. My mic almost died on me while recording so please forgive the audio quality.Apollo 16
The year was 1967, and the astronauts of Apollo 16 were going to the moon. This is Charlie Duke, Lunar Module Pilot on Apollo 16. This amazing little capsule went by the call-sign CASPER, and it was the heart of an immense system of rocket engineering that got the astronauts safely to the moon and back.Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.American Airlines
Welcome aboard American Airlines coast-to-coast service. We’ll be happy to do everything possible to make your flight with us a most pleasurable experience. We’ll provide you with all the information you need to know about your flight, your destination, and the equipment on which you are currently flying. In addition, we are proud to present our American Airlines feature film presentation, for our transcontinental passengers. We’d like you now to remove the plastic insert found directly in front of you in the seat back pocket. Please review the safety information during the flight for your own protection, in the unlikely event of an in-flight emergency.-
Hi Zhenee – great job posting so many recordings! I listened to the Alaska one in particular. Overall, I think the pacing on all of the reads could be touch slower, and be sure to enunciate certain words. I felt like “Alaska” definitely needed to be enunciated more clearly. Also, to me tone of the Alaska video had a bit of insistence to it, which it doesn’t need to be because you aren’t selling this to the listener, but sharing with them all the things they can do. So maybe consider not pushing too much on the tail end of the sentences. I think you’re on the right track to do narration. Good job.
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Great read zhenee, I really like the American Airline read…I felt I was on a plane..I think you are ready to shoot for yr demo..good luck.
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Hello all. This is my first read for homework. Looking forward to reading feedback and improving!
“Godiva chocolate. It’s like mistletoe, only more effective. In fact, there’s no telling what type of reacitons you’ll receive when you give Godiva this holiday season. But one thing is for sure. It will be worth it to find out. Call 1 800 GODIVA or visit us at http://www.godiva.com.”
**just heard the “9 Godiva”….where did that come from? 🙁
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Hey, Your voice was very smooth and soothing much like Godiva chocolate. If you could add just a little more of a sensual expression — like Godiva chocolates are! Overall good performance! Look forward to hearing more!
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Hi every one , Please help critic my assignment , thanks a lot 🙂
2021 Chevy
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
When you have a two-inch lift…
When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…
When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
When you have all that…
The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…
Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
Chevy…. find new roads…Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.BMW.
Luxurious. ….
Inviting. ….
Exhilarating…..
The all new M6 from BMW.-
Hi mrtripo9 – Your voice would be perfect for announcing at a large sports stadium. For these reads, you’ll need to find a way to sound less announcer-y, but more natural. I would recommend that you pretend like you are talking to just one person, and that person is standing next to you, so you do not need to project. Also, be careful to not leave out the last letter of the words. “Inviting” sounded like “invitin” and “Exhilarating” sounded like “Exhiliratin.” Good job overall!
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Hi. I really like the BMW read! And the others too. My input is to take your time with each idea, especially with Cosmos. My coach tells me to “play the action”, so really give the cosmos SPACE! :). great job getting all 3 reads posted!
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Hi mrtripo9, you have such a deep and resonant voice. I think your reads were great. In the future, you may want to avoid pitching down at the end of your sentences so much. In the Chevy read, you ended every sentence the same way so there was no variety. Changing the pitch at the end of your sentences will help you sound more engaged in the scripts you’re reading.
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Hello Everybody. I’ve completed my latest homework assignment. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality.
Thanks,
ErikToshiba
“There is nothing like dream to create the future…” the words of Victor Hugo. The nurturing force for a seed, called dream, is our desire to imagine a better tomorrow. At Toshiba, we’re helping to create it. Toshiba has been turning “dream” into a tangible future for over 100 years … sustaining it now with our commitment to manufacturing in the U.S. and with a wide diversity of products of the highest quality. All of which have helped make us one of the leading electrical and electronic manufacturers in the world. And a company that believes dreams can come true.A Haunting Title
In this world, there is real evil. In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places. Thee are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable. Between the world we see and the things we fear. There are doors. When they are opened. Nightmares become reality.Cary Grant
Cary Grant’s classy film persona and peerless timing are so ingrained in our collective psyche that we tend to confuse the man with the myth. So good was he at playing the icon known as Cary Grant that it was often said he always played the same part–himself. The truth is that he was an underrated actor who brought depth and dimension to his characters, and he never played himself. Of all the roles he created, Cary Grant was his greatest invention. -
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Hi all. I’ve completed another round of homework and welcome any and all feedback.
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4/H
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE.
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About Horror
Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.
Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.-
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
Thank you all!
Chris-
Nice work! Your voice has a great announcer quality and the reads are very smooth. It might be fun to play with range and little characterization in the About Horror piece to make the tone slightly spooky.
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Hi Christopher,
I listenened to your reads, and will share with you my notes as I listened to each read.
4-H – Good read, good pacing, hit key words nicely, good differentiation
About Horror – Good job landing the first sentence, that is a tough one. Good differentiation, good pacing
Cosmos – Great tone, maybe differentiate a litte more in the last sentence.
Overall very good job.
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Hi Chris. Great work! Way to get 3 reads on the forum! I am very new; my beginner impressions are take your time (its an issue for me, so always on my mind) especially in the Cosmos read, and, for example, in About Horror, vampires- to werewolves…-. Give the listed items space. I like how you gave the 4H read such a documentary feel. 🙂
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Would welcome your thoughts on this biographical read:
Charlie Chaplin is the comic artist of our time. He pioneered the development of film comedy from anarchy to art in just a few short years, and created a screen character whose worldwide impact has never been equaled. Unlike most of his colleagues in the film world, he knew he special. He received international acclaim within months of his film debut, and after just one year, won not only an enormous salary, but complete control of his work. He was an artist who worked at his own pace and in his own style at at time when few other filmmakers enjoyed those luxuries. What set Charlie Chaplin apart from the rest?
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