I think you spoke very clearly. I’m assuming that this read was for a commercial, my suggestion to you would be to go over your script and highlight the words you actually want to put emphasis on. At the beginning of the read, it almost sounded like you were doing a monologue for a character. The tone was very conversational . There are commercials where you may want to be conversational, but others where you want to build the listeners intrigue in the product you’re selling. Marking the words you want to hit will help you monitor your tone. You want to hit keywords like “born”, “quick”, “adapt”, “respond”. Slowing down the read a bit would help the listener recognize those keywords too.
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Zhenee.
Hello All. Another Homework upload. Looking forward to any feedback. Thanks!
“Welcome to the Animal Planet Stadium in Silver Spring Maryland where the event of the year has gone to the dogs. The top puppy players from all over the country have been training for this moment all season long..”
Hello Everyone,
This is my final Narration homework before my demo. I’d appreciate any feedback. My mic almost died on me while recording so please forgive the audio quality.
Apollo 16
The year was 1967, and the astronauts of Apollo 16 were going to the moon. This is Charlie Duke, Lunar Module Pilot on Apollo 16. This amazing little capsule went by the call-sign CASPER, and it was the heart of an immense system of rocket engineering that got the astronauts safely to the moon and back.
Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video
This Official Alaska Vacation Planning Video is filled with plenty of breathtaking scenes. But more important, it’s loaded with all the information you need for planning a trip to Alaska. Like when to go, what to wear, and what to see. So if you’ve got Alaska on your mind, you’re going to love this video. Let’s begin with snow sports. This is definitely the place. For cross-country and down-hill skiing. For snow boarding, tobogganing, and even ice fishing.
American Airlines
Welcome aboard American Airlines coast-to-coast service. We’ll be happy to do everything possible to make your flight with us a most pleasurable experience. We’ll provide you with all the information you need to know about your flight, your destination, and the equipment on which you are currently flying. In addition, we are proud to present our American Airlines feature film presentation, for our transcontinental passengers. We’d like you now to remove the plastic insert found directly in front of you in the seat back pocket. Please review the safety information during the flight for your own protection, in the unlikely event of an in-flight emergency.
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Zhenee.
Hi Zhenee – great job posting so many recordings! I listened to the Alaska one in particular. Overall, I think the pacing on all of the reads could be touch slower, and be sure to enunciate certain words. I felt like “Alaska” definitely needed to be enunciated more clearly. Also, to me tone of the Alaska video had a bit of insistence to it, which it doesn’t need to be because you aren’t selling this to the listener, but sharing with them all the things they can do. So maybe consider not pushing too much on the tail end of the sentences. I think you’re on the right track to do narration. Good job.
Thank you so much. I appreciate the criticism. I’ve been working on slowing down my reads so I’ll definitely work on the pacing more. The idea of sharing versus selling didn’t even occur to me. Thanks for your insight.
Hello all. This is my first read for homework. Looking forward to reading feedback and improving!
“Godiva chocolate. It’s like mistletoe, only more effective. In fact, there’s no telling what type of reacitons you’ll receive when you give Godiva this holiday season. But one thing is for sure. It will be worth it to find out. Call 1 800 GODIVA or visit us at http://www.godiva.com.”
**just heard the “9 Godiva”….where did that come from? 🙁
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by DLeeVO.
This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by DLeeVO.
Hey, Your voice was very smooth and soothing much like Godiva chocolate. If you could add just a little more of a sensual expression — like Godiva chocolates are! Overall good performance! Look forward to hearing more!
Hi every one , Please help critic my assignment , thanks a lot 🙂
2021 Chevy
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss
When you have a two-inch lift…
When you have Goodyear Duratrack tires…
When you have Rancho shocks…and an integrated dual exhaust…
When you have all that…
The last thing you’ll need…is a road…
The Chevy Silverado Trail Boss…
Ready to off-road…right from the factory.
Chevy…. find new roads…
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
BMW.
Luxurious. ….
Inviting. ….
Exhilarating…..
The all new M6 from BMW.
Hi mrtripo9 – Your voice would be perfect for announcing at a large sports stadium. For these reads, you’ll need to find a way to sound less announcer-y, but more natural. I would recommend that you pretend like you are talking to just one person, and that person is standing next to you, so you do not need to project. Also, be careful to not leave out the last letter of the words. “Inviting” sounded like “invitin” and “Exhilarating” sounded like “Exhiliratin.” Good job overall!
Hi. I really like the BMW read! And the others too. My input is to take your time with each idea, especially with Cosmos. My coach tells me to “play the action”, so really give the cosmos SPACE! :). great job getting all 3 reads posted!
Hi mrtripo9, you have such a deep and resonant voice. I think your reads were great. In the future, you may want to avoid pitching down at the end of your sentences so much. In the Chevy read, you ended every sentence the same way so there was no variety. Changing the pitch at the end of your sentences will help you sound more engaged in the scripts you’re reading.
Hello Everybody. I’ve completed my latest homework assignment. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality.
Thanks,
Erik
Toshiba
“There is nothing like dream to create the future…” the words of Victor Hugo. The nurturing force for a seed, called dream, is our desire to imagine a better tomorrow. At Toshiba, we’re helping to create it. Toshiba has been turning “dream” into a tangible future for over 100 years … sustaining it now with our commitment to manufacturing in the U.S. and with a wide diversity of products of the highest quality. All of which have helped make us one of the leading electrical and electronic manufacturers in the world. And a company that believes dreams can come true.
A Haunting Title
In this world, there is real evil. In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places. Thee are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable. Between the world we see and the things we fear. There are doors. When they are opened. Nightmares become reality.
Cary Grant
Cary Grant’s classy film persona and peerless timing are so ingrained in our collective psyche that we tend to confuse the man with the myth. So good was he at playing the icon known as Cary Grant that it was often said he always played the same part–himself. The truth is that he was an underrated actor who brought depth and dimension to his characters, and he never played himself. Of all the roles he created, Cary Grant was his greatest invention.
Hi all. I’ve completed another round of homework and welcome any and all feedback.
4/H
It began with the seed of an idea. In 1902, the heartland needed folks to embrace new advances in agriculture. But leaders with open minds, strong hearts and willing hands weren’t in abundance. Luckily, kids were. By empowering the next generation to lead, 4/H took root. And grew. Grew kids who are confident and strong. Who are curious enough to question. And capable enough to find the answer. True leaders aren’t born. They’re grown. 4/H GROWS HERE.
About Horror
Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.
Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.
Cosmos
Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.
Nice work! Your voice has a great announcer quality and the reads are very smooth. It might be fun to play with range and little characterization in the About Horror piece to make the tone slightly spooky.
Hi Chris. Great work! Way to get 3 reads on the forum! I am very new; my beginner impressions are take your time (its an issue for me, so always on my mind) especially in the Cosmos read, and, for example, in About Horror, vampires- to werewolves…-. Give the listed items space. I like how you gave the 4H read such a documentary feel. 🙂
Thank you, I appreciate the feedback! My coach has been working with me to do less pauses, and as a result I definitely overdid it. I will continue to work to find that middle-ground.
Would welcome your thoughts on this biographical read:
Charlie Chaplin is the comic artist of our time. He pioneered the development of film comedy from anarchy to art in just a few short years, and created a screen character whose worldwide impact has never been equaled. Unlike most of his colleagues in the film world, he knew he special. He received international acclaim within months of his film debut, and after just one year, won not only an enormous salary, but complete control of his work. He was an artist who worked at his own pace and in his own style at at time when few other filmmakers enjoyed those luxuries. What set Charlie Chaplin apart from the rest?
I really like the tone and pacing of your read. Also the recording quality sounds very good. I’m still a novice, but one thing I was taught to look out for is unnecessary pauses in a read. One I spoted was in the second to last sentence between “pace and”. But overall good read.
Hi Steve. Nice work! I really like the pace and emotion you gave this read. Maybe a little more emotion in the last sentence? Just a side note, I noticed there is no “was” in “knew he special”. I add words in too, is why i notice. 🙂
Hi Joseph – Good job with these… The main thing I noticed is a pattern of inflection that was used in all three reads. Not sure how to describe it, but you seem to start high at the start of the sentence and then land the sentence at a lower pitch. I would recommend that you start experimenting with varying your pitch levels–not randomly, but to match the emotion and the thought that you are conveying with each phrase. You do have a clear voice and you enunciate words well and have good pacing. I look forward to listening to more from you!
I appreciate your feedback and time on these three recordings.
24. THE LAND OF EGYPT (travelogue)
Egypt has always been a land of mystery and magic. A land different from all others, difficult to understand, apart and alien, yet strangely fascinating. It was the most self-contained of all the countries of the ancient world; it lived its own life, practiced its own religion, and made up its own government with hardly any outside interference either from or upon other civilizations. The Egyptians were …
37. SPACE CAMP MISSION (museum exhibit)
Welcome to Space Camp! Join us on the “Blast off to Camp Sweepstakes,” where we join the US Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Alabama. We’ll train like real astronauts do, perform scientific experiments, and participate in a simulated space mission!
It’s always the right time to fly Delta. And to assure a perfect trip, Delta has prepared this program to offer you important facts and helpful information, along with tips for travelers. Just click ―start for practical information. 50 years have passed since Delta established itself as a national carrier, and Delta has come a long way since then. It has matured into an international airline, serving thousands of destinations. Since its inception, Delta has served as a steadfast air bridge between Africa and the world.