Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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please comment on my read for Shopify:
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Plus One recommends similar products that complement their cart or offer best-value items before checkout.
Like how you go to your favorite café and order coffee but it’s better with a chocolate croissant.
That’s an easy addition and you just boosted your ticket.-
Hi artyom123 – Your delivery has a clear, friendly and helpful tone. I think it could sound maybe a little bit more natural. Consider varying the pacing, which is what would happen if you were telling this to a coworker in everyday life (just an example). I would also consider which words you are emphasizing over other words. “Increase” might be a good word to emphasize more, and “under” might be more important to emphasize than “2 minutes.” Nice job, look forward to hearing more from you.
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would like feedback on following read based on sounding like a everyday person and emotional connection to script.
Did you know that with a simple majority vote, our City Council could ban natural gas and even hydroelectric power in Spokane? Think about what that would mean to you, your family, your home, your energy rates and your finances. And if you’re still not convinced that it’s the worst idea in the history of…well, ideas, visit avistaemployeepac.com. Then protect Spokane’s clean, abundant energy resources by voting YES on Proposition 1. Sponsored by…
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I think you do a fantastic job of sounding natural and approachable, you definitely sound like you’re connecting to your reader. My piece of feedback would be that especially in first half the pitch and cadence of you sentences all sound very similar, starting high and ending low, pretty much on the same pitch. When you ask all those questions with the same pitch it can be hard to really take in how those questions are different. So you? Your family? etc.? see if you can find specificity for each one.
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Jeep. No limits. (TV audio)
The thing about freedom is…freedom has no limits.
There’s no such thing as too many adventures.
Or, too many unforgettable moments.
There’ll never be too many stories to write…or too
many memories to make. But when it comes to a
vehicle that will be there for it all…there’s only one.
Jeep.-
Hi Bil-Bo – your voice has such down-home charm and pluckiness. I think at this point, you might want to experiment with different emotions, taking into account how the advertising folks might want the message to come across…For instance, with the Jeep read, maybe try something that has an aspirational tone or adventurous spirit. Maybe read it as if you were a wilderness guide. I would also be interested in hearing your recordings without music (I’m told that casting folks don’t necessarily like to hear auditions with music). I still end up smiling when I hear your recordings. Good job!
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This isn’t a comment on your reads so much as a comment on sound quality: I know this is “just” homework, but the acoustics sound a bit like you’re recording in a tin can in the next room. If you’re going to be recording yourself for work, you will want a bit more “present” sound quality.
As far as your reads: the Purina ad is very good. Nice contrast on “good news”/”great news”. In my opinion, “your canary will thank you for it” could use a little more pitch variation.
The Carnation ad is also very good; very professional sounding, with natural-sounding expressiveness. At the tag line, “because today could change everything,” it sounds a bit like you hit the bottom of your vocal range, so the word “everything” is on a fry that sounds almost whispered. You might want that to come out a little more, so as to be the same volume level as the rest of your (quite good) read.
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Here’s the text as well:
Relaxation:
To begin, make yourself comfortable…it’s best to lie on your back. Put your arms by your sides, not touching your body. Put your feet slightly apart. With each exhalation…let all the tension out of your body. Let the tension just dissolve…and flow out.Psalm 29:11:
The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace. Psalm 29:11. Dear G*d, I seek Your presence in my heart. Please help me to believe in You throughout every season. Allow me to trust in You during the storms. Allow me to lean on You when I am not satisfied with how my day went. Please help me to seek comfort in You so that I can keep my eyes focused on the good. Allow my thoughts to be full of grace for every blessing that You have placed into my life. Lift me with Your righteous hand and keep me faithful in Your Word from morning until night. Amen.American Express:
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So it’s 2:00 in the morning…and you’re starving. Nothin’ in the fridge, and nothin’ in the cupboards. You don’t even have dog biscuits hangin’ around. You think about cooking…but then you remember the 3-alarm fire you started, last time you tried using the stove. Well, check out 7-11! There’s gotta be one right near ya’. They have everything from burgers to tacos…24 hours a day…7 days a week. 7-11. Think of it as your own personal walk-in kitchen.
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Hi all. Uploading my homework assignment from coaching session number 2 for critique. Primarily focusing on emphasizing the right words and avoiding glottal stops. But I’m certainly open to any and all feedback. Thank you all in advance.
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Fish Boil
Even people who don’t like fish, have been known to like this fish. That’s why a fish boil is a must-do experience when you visit Door County. It all starts with a blazing bonfire under a kettle of salted water. People circle around to warm themselves and take in the crisp smell. When the temperature is just right and the crackle of the fire is just loud enough, the boil master adds a basket of potatoes and onions to the kettle. A few crackles later, the mild whitefish steaks, fresh from Lake Michigan, are delicately lowered in. At just the right moment, kerosene is tossed into the fire, exciting the blaze and causing the water to boil over, dramatically carrying off the fish oil that has collected on top. The fish are pulled out and greeted with a generous drizzling of butter. Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
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Meditation
Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead. Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times.
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Hi Chris. I enjoyed your submissions–especially the “fish boil.” Your presentation really painted the picture of the sounds and smells of the experience!
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I really enjoyed your performances! Your voice is butter smooth and easy to listen to. Your intonations were natural conversations. And the meditation, was so very good. I can’t believe you’ve just has 2 coaching sessions, you’re one quick study! There’s a future in VO for you! Nice job!
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Greetings!
Did this one just before going to work; did not mess with it too much as the advice I’ve gotten is to do it and move on! LOL! -
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Hi All,
I would also appreciate some feedback on these initial reads I did for Narration Demo. These were the reads I was most concerned about so I would appreciate feedback.Thanks for the help!
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Hello Zhenee, I think your voice is very friendly enough to keep the listeners going, however, in your audio recordings, I’ve noticed you cut up some of the audio to allow some space between words in the sentences, perhaps for next time- try to see how it would go if you don’t cut up the audio and let yourself talk, or maybe trim it in a way that isn’t so rough!
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Hello All,
I currently preparing for my Narration Demo and would appreciate some feedback on these practice reads I did for my homework.About Horror
Take a trip back to a time when late night creature features were all the rage and the personalities that presented them were just as popular as the movies.
Beginning in the 1950s, the horror fest was a staple of regional television. From ghouls to vampires – to werewolves and crypt keepers – every host had a persona to suit their unique personalities.Advance Technologies
Welcome to advance technology incorporated and to the excitement and challenges of a growing business. As a new employee, your job is important to us. Your success is an important factor in the success of this company. This software is designed to offer you accurate information about company policies and procedures, benefit packages, performance reviews, training and education opportunities.9 Planets
About 12 billion years ago, scientists think, from a singular explosion, the universe was born. In those first moments, intensely hot hydrogen and helium raced outward – thinning, cooling, and clumping into vast, organized structures.
Within a few billion years, countless galaxies had emerged. Each one containing hundreds of billions of stars – constantly changing in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. In one of these galaxies, about 5 billions years ago, one average-sized star, our sun, captured in its gravitational field the gas and dust that would become 9 planets.I appreciate the feedback!
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