[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 1 month ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Cheechman]

This one has different styles.
Personally, I like the 3rd one best.

Let me know

Thanks

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[Gill]

I like the third one as well you lifted this script and made it entertaining in your own style.

[Cheechman]

Thanks

[Cheechman]

The attached ae submitted for feedback for my demo class.
Any and all comments are appreciated

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[LindsayCampbell]

Hi All- here are some narration scripts for critique!

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[Thomas_D]

Hey Lindsay, agreed with Nicolance as well re: the acting training! What I like the most about your voices is that they all sound believable, like you really have internalized each of the scripts. I actually like B****r Creek and Depreciation the best, even though they were a bit faster than the Ulta and Plastic. The latter felt a bit too slow, but not to the point of being unbelievable. Maybe they sounded less conversational?

[Cheechman]

Do you utilize a pop filter?

The S sound is very strong.

Other than that, I think all sounded pretty good!

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[Joel]

Lindsay, you have terrific voices! And that is plural on purpose. It almost seems like you have distinctive high register and low registers to your voice. Depending on the copy, I wonder if you want to stick to a lower kind of voice or combine the two when needed.

[nicolance]

Hello Lindsay – all of your samples have a conversational and natural – believable! – quality – WOW! I am guessing you have some acting training? You seem to be “hurrying” the copy. Slow down a bit and think about the person you are talking to – and who you are. In all of the samples, there are key words or phrases that you may have hit differently depending on character. Your plastic sample is a bit slower in pace than the other three, and your character seems more developed. That one is a winner! Keep at it – Lance

[nicolance]

Corporate e-learning – going for friendly, inviting and confident. How’d I do? thanks – Lance

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[Cheechman]

A little sing Songy for my tastes.

May try to hold the highs a little.

[RGK3]

Hi Lance:

Friendly, inviting, and confident do come through. On the whole, I liked this read a lot and could imagine it in actual use. There are a couple of minor places where the phrasing felt less natural to me than in others, like the strong upward inflection on “website,” leading into the next phrase.

[nicolance]

House tour narration – trying to sound warm and friendly. How’s my diction? Lance

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[JoyceVOA]

I didn’t hear any warm and friendly in the beginning. You did warm up towards the end. I thought your diction was excellent.

[nicolance]

Hi again – this is a travelogue narration – again, working on pacing and diction. Thanks, Lance

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[nicolance]

Bio Narration – working on pacing and diction. Any feedback is welcome, including any tech stuff – thanks, Lance

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[Swimmer1]

Hello,
I am a novice and forwarding a brief recording for a homework assignment. I have lots to learn on the recording and voice side, open to suggestions.

Thanks

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[Cheechman]

Alot more energy.

I tend to go into the “over the top am disc jockey” voice for these.

[nicolance]

My first suggestion is to always think about who you are, who you are talking to, and why are you telling them this info? You are definitely reading the copy and so it sounds a bit robotic and not at all conversational. That is the key word for you at this point – conversational. You have a nice voice with a friendly tone. Keep at it – Lance

[Joel]

Hi Swimmer1, I might suggest you put some more energy into your reading so it does not have a monotone type of reading. The script also says three times, “when,” so you might think about how you might want to make each time you say “when” it’s not the same each time. A slight change in tone might help. We are all novice’s in this VO world that’s for sure!

[Logan DFD]

I’m trying to improve my pitch variation to try and overcome my monotone voice. Is my pitch range good, or too little? Thanks!

Special K Red Berries

Putting strawberries in cereal wasn’t our idea.
Putting them in the box was.
With slices of real strawberries and crunchy sweet flakes, looking good never tasted so good.
Special K Red Berries.

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[Joel]

Hey Logan, I might suggest you send the message that Special K Red Berries is a good thing. You almost sound angry at the beginning of the recording. Try pretending you are speaking to someone specific about the product and see if that changes your tone and delivery.

[LindsayCampbell]

Hi Logan! I think in attempting to overcome a monotone voice, you ended up emphasizing words in a way that was a bit unnatural, and not how you would say it in a real conversation. Some of the words sounded forced. Something that has helped me with my coach is to use a lead in before the script starts to get myself mentally in the natural zone, imagining I am talking to a real person in my life, and gets me thinking and talking in a natural way. Helps me to not overthink it. Hope this is helpful for you too!

[RGK3]

Hello all:

I’m sharing a couple of reads for feedback before my next coaching session. Just looking for feedback on the reads themselves, as I haven’t started to solve the home studio challenges yet.

Thanks in advance.

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[Cheechman]

Too much slurring.
Ended with a question and needs to have the key words punched up a little. Make them a point of interest is what I mean. I’ve attached my read for comparison

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[LindsayCampbell]

HI RGK3! I like both of these reads. The pacing was good, but I think in both cases lacked a “real” feel. It sounded like you were reading.

I almost missed the joke about the canary in Purina. I think you could have played with that a bit more.

In the Advil read, there were several points of an unnatural stop, some with a lip smack. For example, you can hear it after the first 2 times you say Advil, and after study. The last sentence ended with I think wasn’t quite the right intonation. Your pitch rising a little bit, not quite to the point of it sounding like a question, but enough where it sounded like you might doubt what you’re saying.

Hope this helps!

[RGK3]

Thanks!

[Author]

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