Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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Hi Cheechman, I think you have a nice voice, and all of your reads were very clear. They sound a bit robotic, though. Maybe imagine you are talking to a real person when reading to sound more natural. Your enunciation was very clear, but there were some glottal stops that made the speech sound broken up and unnatural. You can hear it especially in the Advil read in the first line: “Muscle. Aches” (the 2nd Advil read was better, but still there) And in Carnations with the E in Essentials.
Full disclosure- this is what I struggle with, too, and have been tasked by my coach to listen for it in others, so I am hyper-focused on it right now! -
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Hi, everyone! I have gotten away from checking out the forum for a while, but I’m starting on my VO training finally, and so my homework is to have a couple of commercials evaluated by you guys. I am using a home studio which is still under construction, so be gentle as far as audio quality, but I would love honest evaluations of my performance, as I need all the help I can get! Thanks!
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Hi Dexterius,
I liked the motel 6 read it did fell kind of jumbled together like you were trying to say it all at once. So, it did make listening to it a bit tough at times. If you were to do it again try slowing down and taking your time. I would say the opposite for the wall street journal read I would say slow it down just a bit really let it build.
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Hello, thanks in advance for any feedback or notes.
American Express – Private Payments
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business.-
Just reposting the script – the last sentence was missing!
American Express – Private Payments
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business. And American Express keeps it that way.
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I’m hoping to get some feedback on my natural delivery. Do I have enough variation in my tone? I’m trying to fight against my monotone voice.
Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’.
Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees.
Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads.
And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting!
Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.-
Hi Logan, I think you could vary your pitch range more. There is some variation, but I started to sense a pattern. For instance, it seemed like the words at the end of the sentences were spoken at the same level. “Bread,” “menu,” “coffees,” “Cafe,” “salads”–they all ended on the same note. As Grace17 said, try not to hold back your personality, and think of an emotion or point of view for each line, which will change the way you say things.
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Hi Grace17 – I like the energy and approachability of your read! There’s a lot of technical jargon in this script, but I think you should be able to give it an even more conversational feel. Another thing I notice is that while you are delivering the script very smoothly and continuously (you’re really good at not falling into the “pause” trap like me), you may need to find ways to vary things so that it’s not one continuous thought or feeling the whole way through. Maybe see if you are emphasizing too many words in the same sentence, and see if it makes a difference to emphasize only the most important words in that sentence. For example, in the first sentence, see if you can hear a difference if you only emphasize “Lasers” and not emphasize “fearful” and “feel.” It might bring out the point of the sentence more. Sorry if I’m too explain-y…I think this is what happens right after I attend my own coaching session. Hope this helps. Good job! Keep going!
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Hello everyone, my name is Marcus Martin. I have recently started my Vo journey and would love to hear your feedback on these scripts I’ve done. the first script is from cosmos and the second is from the the wonder years pt3. Like I said I would love to hear any feedback.
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Hi Marcus,
I would suggest you need further room treatment in your recording space. The environment, to my ears, has far too much “air.” See what you can do to deaden the space more, either through acoustical deflection/absorption, a different mic, or both, to create a flatter response that won’t detract from your solid reading efforts. Thanks!
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I do apologize for posting without away to listen to the recordings hopefully the new one I upload work for everyone
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Hi Marti,
Your voice really suits the cosmos read, but on my end your volume is too low, so if you’re using an audio interface, you should turn the dial up on the input. I had the same problem and that helped me. For both reads, I would recommend not to try too hard so you don’t say things in a way that is forceful, like “scattered” in the cosmos read. On the cosmos read, your style of reading seems to change dramatically from “on which we know” to be more sing-songy and have a wider pitch range. I think the change is too dramatic, so it’s shocking and distracts from what you’re saying. It’s fine to change pace, emotion, etc. in a read but I think the change is unjustified, in this case.
I would also recommend listing each phrase characterizing earth as if it ends in a period, rather than inverting(discussed in Edge Studio guidebook) the last word of each phrase. This would make you sound more like an expert as you list it, instead of sounding casual.
With the wonder years read, though I heard the slight changes in emotions as you say each phrase, i think you could be more believable. I think to help with believability, you should have a reason for everything your character says. Not trying too hard, and trusting the analysis you’ve done on the script beforehand could help improve the reads.
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Hello friends! I’ve to two more that I’d appreciate your thoughts on. I wasn’t sure which direction to go with the Nike spot, I did one super serious and one not as serious. Not sure which is better. With ziploc I am hoping for a natural delivery. Thanks for your time!
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Hi
Ziploc:Nice delivery with this read, it sounds natural, your pace and diction are great
Nike: Both reads sounded natural with Nike. I prefer the first Nike read, your delivery had me engaged throughout pace and diction were great. The second read sounded alot like the first. If you’re aiming for alternative try changing your tone, pace, inflection. I didn’t really hear that on the second, I heard that you changed some of your emphasis on the words but not really changing the things mentioned above. Good job overall!-
The ziploc read, though good technique-wise, sounded disengaged from the product. It’ll be more engaging if you smiled when speaking of ziploc’s superiority so that i believe that you believe what you’re saying. I also liked the first Nike read better, your tone fit with the message of the read(i.e.: perseverance, strength, etc.), whereas the tone of the second read sounded uninvested in the message.
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