Hi, everyone! I have gotten away from checking out the forum for a while, but I’m starting on my VO training finally, and so my homework is to have a couple of commercials evaluated by you guys. I am using a home studio which is still under construction, so be gentle as far as audio quality, but I would love honest evaluations of my performance, as I need all the help I can get! Thanks!
I liked the motel 6 read it did fell kind of jumbled together like you were trying to say it all at once. So, it did make listening to it a bit tough at times. If you were to do it again try slowing down and taking your time. I would say the opposite for the wall street journal read I would say slow it down just a bit really let it build.
Hello, thanks in advance for any feedback or notes.
American Express – Private Payments
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business.
Just reposting the script – the last sentence was missing!
American Express – Private Payments
Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business. And American Express keeps it that way.
I’m hoping to get some feedback on my natural delivery. Do I have enough variation in my tone? I’m trying to fight against my monotone voice.
Atlanta Bread Company
When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’.
Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees.
Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads.
And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting!
Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.
Hi Logan, I think you could vary your pitch range more. There is some variation, but I started to sense a pattern. For instance, it seemed like the words at the end of the sentences were spoken at the same level. “Bread,” “menu,” “coffees,” “Cafe,” “salads”–they all ended on the same note. As Grace17 said, try not to hold back your personality, and think of an emotion or point of view for each line, which will change the way you say things.
Yes, sounds like a good amount of pitch range. Definitely doesn’t sound monotone. Thinking of a particular person or situation that makes you feel in a way that is appropriate to the script, and not holding back your personality could also help against sounding monotone.
Hi Grace17 – I like the energy and approachability of your read! There’s a lot of technical jargon in this script, but I think you should be able to give it an even more conversational feel. Another thing I notice is that while you are delivering the script very smoothly and continuously (you’re really good at not falling into the “pause” trap like me), you may need to find ways to vary things so that it’s not one continuous thought or feeling the whole way through. Maybe see if you are emphasizing too many words in the same sentence, and see if it makes a difference to emphasize only the most important words in that sentence. For example, in the first sentence, see if you can hear a difference if you only emphasize “Lasers” and not emphasize “fearful” and “feel.” It might bring out the point of the sentence more. Sorry if I’m too explain-y…I think this is what happens right after I attend my own coaching session. Hope this helps. Good job! Keep going!
Hello everyone, my name is Marcus Martin. I have recently started my Vo journey and would love to hear your feedback on these scripts I’ve done. the first script is from cosmos and the second is from the the wonder years pt3. Like I said I would love to hear any feedback.
In both the Cosmos read and the Wonder Years read, your voice sometimes lacked a bit of variation in pitch, which can lead to a monotone delivery. I know this because I’m struggling with it too. Otherwise, you have a great soft, relaxing tone. Keep it up!
I would suggest you need further room treatment in your recording space. The environment, to my ears, has far too much “air.” See what you can do to deaden the space more, either through acoustical deflection/absorption, a different mic, or both, to create a flatter response that won’t detract from your solid reading efforts. Thanks!
Hi Marti,
Your voice really suits the cosmos read, but on my end your volume is too low, so if you’re using an audio interface, you should turn the dial up on the input. I had the same problem and that helped me. For both reads, I would recommend not to try too hard so you don’t say things in a way that is forceful, like “scattered” in the cosmos read. On the cosmos read, your style of reading seems to change dramatically from “on which we know” to be more sing-songy and have a wider pitch range. I think the change is too dramatic, so it’s shocking and distracts from what you’re saying. It’s fine to change pace, emotion, etc. in a read but I think the change is unjustified, in this case.
I would also recommend listing each phrase characterizing earth as if it ends in a period, rather than inverting(discussed in Edge Studio guidebook) the last word of each phrase. This would make you sound more like an expert as you list it, instead of sounding casual.
With the wonder years read, though I heard the slight changes in emotions as you say each phrase, i think you could be more believable. I think to help with believability, you should have a reason for everything your character says. Not trying too hard, and trusting the analysis you’ve done on the script beforehand could help improve the reads.
Hello friends! I’ve to two more that I’d appreciate your thoughts on. I wasn’t sure which direction to go with the Nike spot, I did one super serious and one not as serious. Not sure which is better. With ziploc I am hoping for a natural delivery. Thanks for your time!
Hi
Ziploc:Nice delivery with this read, it sounds natural, your pace and diction are great
Nike: Both reads sounded natural with Nike. I prefer the first Nike read, your delivery had me engaged throughout pace and diction were great. The second read sounded alot like the first. If you’re aiming for alternative try changing your tone, pace, inflection. I didn’t really hear that on the second, I heard that you changed some of your emphasis on the words but not really changing the things mentioned above. Good job overall!
The ziploc read, though good technique-wise, sounded disengaged from the product. It’ll be more engaging if you smiled when speaking of ziploc’s superiority so that i believe that you believe what you’re saying. I also liked the first Nike read better, your tone fit with the message of the read(i.e.: perseverance, strength, etc.), whereas the tone of the second read sounded uninvested in the message.
I actually liked these reads. Given that the Hubspot piece is about educating the audience how to increase sales using technology – I think it’s helpful to sound like “hey what are you doing and why aren’t you doing this”. Having said that, the last three or four words the script sounded a little to snark in tone. I understood what you were trying to do with the script.
Hi
4H:Your voice pairs well with this script, I noticed its a pretty long script so nice job breaking it down. I would just be mindful of your diction when you said ideal instead of idea, heartland and I notice when you are about to say to you slur into the next word not sure if you noticed that.
Cosmos: The read was good the only word not clear was rippling, it sounds like your volume went down at that moment. I like that you had variations with your pace and the read was natural. Keep it up!
Hello! I’m attaching two tracks… they’re both documentary style of Meryl Streep (slightly different scripts). Would love feedback on the performance AND how the audio sounds. I have finally added some elements to my home studio that I think (hope!) help to have good sound quality. Thanks!
Wow, setup sounds really clear. I ran it through my DAW and showing a noise floor of about -50. The low noise present looks a lot like an AC unit or something like a water heater though I can’t physically hear it. Listening to Streep One the only nit-pick to my ears is the transition from drama, to Julia..the dramA and JuliA sound somewhat similar in such proximity but the script overall is really pleasant to listen too. Streep two sounded great, I’ve got nothing on that as it was appealing, and well paced. They were run in stereo it looks like, not sure if you intended that. But it’s clear you know what you are doing.
Ryan, this is incredibly helpful… thank you!! I know exactly what you mean about the “drama Julia”, so I’ll watch out for that. I’m guessing the secret noise might be coming from my downstairs neighbors who seemed to run their bathroom fans 24-7… ugh. Time for another sound blanket! Thanks again!
Hello everybody! Nice to meet you! This is my first time posting on here as I have my second training session coming up very soon. I wanted to ask for feedback regarding my voice on these two reads. (No technical feedback please, I know there is white noise as I did not have an optimal recording space this week) Here are some things I am wondering about my reads… Do i sound robotic or smoother? How is my intonation and pronunciation? Thanks everybody!
~Gracie Parker 🙂
Hi Gracie! I think you’re off to a good start. Your voice is very nice to listen to. I do think your tone seems to go up and down a bit so I would watch that. The ends of your sentences tend to “drift off” a bit so I would watch out for that and end them with the same energy as you begin with.