Feedback Forum

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
  • #77633
    Tim Kraft
    Participant

    Hi all – back on the board after a brief hiatus. Working on a narration demo, so wanted to post a baseline of where I’m at now. Previous training has been in promo and just on the front-end of narration coaching. Basically I’m winging it, based on listening to other e-learning samples. Script is from a P2P site, with the usual vague direction “natural, approachable voice for a mental health e-learning module”.

    Any and all feedback is welcome, from comments on the read itself to technical feedback.

    Thanks as always!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77639
      Gill
      Participant

      Welcome back Tim,
      Your read on this script sounds natural and approachable. I like your energy and approach to it given that you’re winging it! I would just note your diction. I hear some dropped “th” when you say health and a slur with this word as well. I think that would be somewhere to start.

  • #77627
    twstark
    Participant

    The attached is an excerpt from a corporate annual report script. The intent is to be professional, upbeat, and…well…”corporate,” while remaining as natural as possible. All feedback is welcome – thanks!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77640
      Gill
      Participant

      Great job tackling this read. You sound professional and serious. There are a few things I would just be mindful of with corporate reads. Because they are consider formal reads, the pace is usually a little slower. The Beginning of your audio has a plosive when you say two thousand so you are aware. Your listing of variations are good but be mindful of pausing in between as it makes the read a little choppy. Overall very good diction and nice job!

      • #77694
        twstark
        Participant

        Hi Gill,

        Thanks, that’s helpful, and I agree. It’s a bit “halting” or choppy and I’m going to take another cut at it. Much appreciated!

  • #77600
    nicolance
    Participant

    Documentary “travelogue” narration – working on “AND” and “TO” so they sound like Anned and too . . .and not Ann or ta – any feedback on diction or anything else, please. Lance

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77641
      Gill
      Participant

      I think you did good with and on here but I hear you with to if we say it fast enough it unconsciously comes out as ta. I hear it when you say “causing the water to boil over.” Try slowing down when you’re about to approach “to” I think your brain will remind you to say too instead. Keep at it!

    • #77630
      Tim Kraft
      Participant

      Hi Lance – Loving the energy you bring to the read! Don’t lose that, but I think you should tone down the enthusiasm. When I started with a coach, I recall being told (often) when I went “over the top”…that’s what I’m hearing here. You have a wonderful narration voice, reminds me of Jean Shepard in “A Christmas Story”. Let your natural excitement and sincerity shine through and I think this will sound like a more real experience that people can envision, which is what it’s all about (unless the director tells you otherwise of course).

      I’m hearing some plosives, are you using a pop filter? If so, you can probably dial back the ennunciation. Again, just guessing that your natural style is already quite articulate.

      Hoping this helps!

  • #77571
    RetsofNoraa
    Participant

    Here’s my first post! Decided to tackle the Motel 6 script for my first session. Excuse the quality; I can’t hook up my microphone to the iPad just yet, and my desktop computer makes way too much noise to make recording viable.

    Currently working on enunciation, but any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77732
      Cheechman
      Participant

      Need to hilite Motel 6 more.
      no emotion in the read.
      Voice sounds good.

    • #77671
      Luke V
      Participant

      I’m right there with you on PCs making too much noise. Currently trying to find an alternative myself.

      Concerning the recording, if your focus is enunciation, I highly recommend “stretching” your voice by doing lip trills or even just taking a half-filled bottle of water and blowing bubbles with a straw. Doing so helps you build up breath energy that makes your words sound more lively, impactful, and clear. Overall, I thought the read was quite natural and conversational.

    • #77574
      Evan Papier
      Participant

      It sounded really good. A few words were a little hard to hear so just make sure you have great diction the whole commercial!

  • #77565
    nicolance
    Participant

    Please listen and provide feedback – this is for an instructional video narration, trying to sound both informative and conversational. Any feedback at all will be very very welcome – thanks, Lance

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77670
      Luke V
      Participant

      I love the consistency you have concerning the volume and tempo. I don’t know if it was intentional, but I also love the subtle change to a slightly higher pitch at 43 seconds in the mp3 when reading “height”. Overall, it was very informative and digestible.

  • #77562
    DillonP
    Participant

    I have two new recordings I got done. A commercial Discovery Kids and Narration Breast Cancer Research. I would apricate some feedback to help me be ready for when my Demos being developed, thank you.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77569
      Grace17
      Participant

      Hi Dillon,
      I think a playful attitude is great for the discovery kids read, slowing down a bit would help the audience process what you’re saying. This is a descriptive read that I think is meant to paint a picture in the listener’s mind of what animal this could possibly be, with the adjectives “big”, “stinky” and words “see” and “dark.” So I would suggest placing more value on/hitting those words. The degree to which you hit those descriptive and valuable words is up to you. I think painting a fun picture in your mind of what you’re saying would help you hit the words without overemphasizing them. You elongated “discovery kids” at the end which sounds great to me.

      In the breast cancer read, you sound a little emotionally removed so try talking to or thinking of someone specifically and connecting to the essence of what you’re saying. The pacing is good though! Getting closer to the mic for the breast cancer read is a nice choice, for a more intimate read. I noticed you overstated the “t” in “breast” and “fight”, so watch out for over-enunciating. I also suggest getting more purposeful about what words to hit, otherwise you miss the opportunity to hit some very valuable words and be the most effective. Though breast cancer is a serious topic, try experimenting with a more conversational read, instead of a more professional and removed read. I think being more conversational will match with the intimacy created by being closer to the mic.

      If you’re not already, consider doing tongue twisters while holding a pencil between your teeth to improve articulation. Just a little bit of that can make a big difference.

    • #77567
      nicolance
      Participant

      Dillon – Discovery Kids is a promo – a little rushed and a little slurring at start – try to slow down and have fun with the words. As for the breast cancer piece, I think is meant for a female actor. What kind of demo are you making – commercial? You should look for other spots that work with your warm, soft and caring tone. Lance

  • #77542
    kbridges
    Participant

    Hi there! I received some feedback from a potential client asking if I have a more mature read. I typically target younger sounding spots, but want to give the “mature” thing a shot.

    Attached are two recordings. One is a radio spot (less mature in my opinion) and a travel podcast intro (more mature? I’ve heard that travel is a good genre for a mature read).

    Please share your feedback and any tips on a more mature read! I want to play a different character without sounding inauthentic.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77733
      Cheechman
      Participant

      Solfullmoon was very monotone and sounded like you were reading the script.
      Needs more excitement

    • #77629
      twstark
      Participant

      Hi KB,

      I agree with Grace’s notes above. I also think the NZ-Travel read would benefit from slightly more emotional/enthusiastic vocal expression. Your voice, to me, sounds mature enough for the read. But I would add a little more excitement about NZ as a travel destination. One other thought re. NZ-Travel: Be sure you’re confident in how to pronounce words with which you’re not familiar. The Maori people would generally pronounce the word either as “Mahwri” or “Mahwdi” but never “May-o-ri.” In other words, the “a” should be pronounced like, “Ow!” versus the month of “May.” Hope that makes sense. 🙂

    • #77568
      Grace17
      Participant

      Hi kbridges,

      I like how clear and articulate your voice is. I would think a mature read is about sounding knowledgeable in the subject and confident, like an expert. So I recommend aiming to sound very knowledgeable in what you’re saying. The Travel read actually strikes me as more mature because you “hit” the word at the end of your sentences(as the Edgestudio guidebook describes it) more than you did in the radio read, which made you sound more confident in the Travel read. It seems like you were trying to be mature by being less emotional in the radio spot, which might be what the client wants too, but without that sense of expertise in your voice, the read may just sound merely nonchalant for the most part. In the radio read, the end of most of your sentences had an uptick in pitch which can be fine, it’s just that it sounded like you were questioning what you were saying especially in the first sentence. So I think you inverted your words too often in that read and that wouldn’t sound expert-like. So I think hitting words, more than inverting them, particularly in the end of your sentence, would make you sound more credible and mature. At the end of the radio spot, you hit the word “.com”, for example. Having the attitude of an expert would help too.

  • #77536
    edixon310
    Participant

    Hi all!
    It’s been a while. I created a bio that I would like for you to comment on.
    I’ve been working on my equipment settings and techniques.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by edixon310.
    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77631
      twstark
      Participant

      Earl,

      Velvety smooth, and very clever – well done!!

    • #77545
      kbridges
      Participant

      Wow, this is so creative! Such an awesome, entertaining way to show the variety of characters you can achieve with your voice. I found it really compelling and it kept me listening all the way through. You really “create a whole world” with your voice just as you say in the recording! The editing and mixing is really smooth and seamless as well, with really good sound effects and music throughout it. Nothing but positive affirmations from me!

  • #77467
    Grace Lee
    Participant

    Sorry! I don’t know how to delete this. I meant to reply to someone else’s post but it created a new post. Please disregard!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Grace Lee.
  • #77465
    rustylj63
    Participant

    Hey everyone, something a little different for me here. I look forward to your feedback.

    Attachments:
    You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77648
      Wysvoice
      Participant

      Hello – This is my first entry here, hopeful participating more. Here is my take on a “how-to”

      Attachments:
      You must be logged in to view attached files.
    • #77647
      Wysvoice
      Participant

      I really like this read, especially the first half. It drew me in with a good tempo, great tone and I felt your eyes were on me. As with long scripts, my challenge seems to be staying connected to the audience without getting lost in the words. It seemed that it may have been the challenge in this read, as well. Overall, if I were on the hiring end – I’d be intrigued enough by your read to give you a call back.

    • #77632
      twstark
      Participant

      Hi Rusty,

      I really like this read. Most of it feels pretty authentic to me. Even the fact that you left in some pretty audible breaths. I know that, generally, we would edit those out. But I feel like, in this case, you don’t detract from the tone of the read and I’m glad you left them in. Thanks!

    • #77521
      gigihernandezdoesit
      Participant

      Hi there! I really appreciate this kind of copy and your soothing read. I agree with the above comment, and I think there is also a need to “paint a picture” since you are inside of your workshop. I felt that really working for you in the beginning, the images of wooden tables and tools hung on the wall coming through! and then as your conversation became more abstract you did float away from the realness of that. That does seem to be the challenge built into the script, but you’re not unsuccessful! Keep at it!

    • #77469
      Grace Lee
      Participant

      I liked your approach to this read. It was warm, welcoming, down-to-earth. I would point out which is what I’m working on is to keep a person in mind who you’re talking to so that it feels like a real conversation telling them about your experience, your revelation, etc. Towards the middle and end it kind of sounded like you were reading from a script but the beginning was as if you were speaking directly to me which was awesome. Really good stuff!

Viewing 3,148 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.