Feedback Forum

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    Topic
  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #77868
    Cheechman
    Participant

    Attached are 2 reads for my homework on the 1 demo course.

    Please comment good or bad to let me know if I’m on the right track

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  • #77865
    mmarti60
    Participant

    Hello, everyone I have a few more reads I would like your honest feedback on. Today we have my read from the advance technologies script and the wonder years pt 2 script. I appreciate any feedback

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  • #77860
    Dexterius
    Participant

    Hi, everyone! I have gotten away from checking out the forum for a while, but I’m starting on my VO training finally, and so my homework is to have a couple of commercials evaluated by you guys. I am using a home studio which is still under construction, so be gentle as far as audio quality, but I would love honest evaluations of my performance, as I need all the help I can get! Thanks!

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    • #77864
      mmarti60
      Participant

      Hi Dexterius,

      I liked the motel 6 read it did fell kind of jumbled together like you were trying to say it all at once. So, it did make listening to it a bit tough at times. If you were to do it again try slowing down and taking your time. I would say the opposite for the wall street journal read I would say slow it down just a bit really let it build.

  • #77851
    nettipo1
    Participant

    Hello, thanks in advance for any feedback or notes.

    American Express – Private Payments
    Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business.

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    • #77855
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Just reposting the script – the last sentence was missing!

      American Express – Private Payments
      Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I’m buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business. And American Express keeps it that way.

  • #77845
    Logan DFD
    Participant

    I’m hoping to get some feedback on my natural delivery. Do I have enough variation in my tone? I’m trying to fight against my monotone voice.

    Atlanta Bread Company

    When you think of Atlanta Bread Company, don’t just think ‘bread’.
    Think of an entire breakfast menu – fresh-baked pastries, hot breakfast sandwiches and specialty coffees.
    Think of our Cafe with savory sandwiches, daily soups and crisp salads.
    And don’t forget…we can cater your next special event or meeting!
    Atlanta Bread Company – more than just bread.

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    • #77853
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Logan, I think you could vary your pitch range more. There is some variation, but I started to sense a pattern. For instance, it seemed like the words at the end of the sentences were spoken at the same level. “Bread,” “menu,” “coffees,” “Cafe,” “salads”–they all ended on the same note. As Grace17 said, try not to hold back your personality, and think of an emotion or point of view for each line, which will change the way you say things.

    • #77850
      Grace17
      Participant

      Yes, sounds like a good amount of pitch range. Definitely doesn’t sound monotone. Thinking of a particular person or situation that makes you feel in a way that is appropriate to the script, and not holding back your personality could also help against sounding monotone.

    • #77847
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      Sorry, what I meant was Pitch, not tone. Do I have a good variation in pitch?

  • #77840
    Grace17
    Participant

    I would love some feedback on this read. Thanks!

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    • #77854
      nettipo1
      Participant

      Hi Grace17 – I like the energy and approachability of your read! There’s a lot of technical jargon in this script, but I think you should be able to give it an even more conversational feel. Another thing I notice is that while you are delivering the script very smoothly and continuously (you’re really good at not falling into the “pause” trap like me), you may need to find ways to vary things so that it’s not one continuous thought or feeling the whole way through. Maybe see if you are emphasizing too many words in the same sentence, and see if it makes a difference to emphasize only the most important words in that sentence. For example, in the first sentence, see if you can hear a difference if you only emphasize “Lasers” and not emphasize “fearful” and “feel.” It might bring out the point of the sentence more. Sorry if I’m too explain-y…I think this is what happens right after I attend my own coaching session. Hope this helps. Good job! Keep going!

      • #78033
        Grace17
        Participant

        Not too explainy at all! Thank you for the feedback! You mentioned really good points I’ll work on:)

  • #77828
    mmarti60
    Participant

    Hello everyone, my name is Marcus Martin. I have recently started my Vo journey and would love to hear your feedback on these scripts I’ve done. the first script is from cosmos and the second is from the the wonder years pt3. Like I said I would love to hear any feedback.

    • #77848
      Logan DFD
      Participant

      Great reads!

      In both the Cosmos read and the Wonder Years read, your voice sometimes lacked a bit of variation in pitch, which can lead to a monotone delivery. I know this because I’m struggling with it too. Otherwise, you have a great soft, relaxing tone. Keep it up!

    • #77842
      twstark
      Participant

      Hi Marcus,

      I would suggest you need further room treatment in your recording space. The environment, to my ears, has far too much “air.” See what you can do to deaden the space more, either through acoustical deflection/absorption, a different mic, or both, to create a flatter response that won’t detract from your solid reading efforts. Thanks!

    • #77829
      mmarti60
      Participant

      I do apologize for posting without away to listen to the recordings hopefully the new one I upload work for everyone

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      • #77838
        Grace17
        Participant

        Hi Marti,
        Your voice really suits the cosmos read, but on my end your volume is too low, so if you’re using an audio interface, you should turn the dial up on the input. I had the same problem and that helped me. For both reads, I would recommend not to try too hard so you don’t say things in a way that is forceful, like “scattered” in the cosmos read. On the cosmos read, your style of reading seems to change dramatically from “on which we know” to be more sing-songy and have a wider pitch range. I think the change is too dramatic, so it’s shocking and distracts from what you’re saying. It’s fine to change pace, emotion, etc. in a read but I think the change is unjustified, in this case.
        I would also recommend listing each phrase characterizing earth as if it ends in a period, rather than inverting(discussed in Edge Studio guidebook) the last word of each phrase. This would make you sound more like an expert as you list it, instead of sounding casual.
        With the wonder years read, though I heard the slight changes in emotions as you say each phrase, i think you could be more believable. I think to help with believability, you should have a reason for everything your character says. Not trying too hard, and trusting the analysis you’ve done on the script beforehand could help improve the reads.

  • #77816
    jr.roop
    Participant

    Hello friends! I’ve to two more that I’d appreciate your thoughts on. I wasn’t sure which direction to go with the Nike spot, I did one super serious and one not as serious. Not sure which is better. With ziploc I am hoping for a natural delivery. Thanks for your time!

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    • #77820
      Gill
      Participant

      Hi
      Ziploc:Nice delivery with this read, it sounds natural, your pace and diction are great
      Nike: Both reads sounded natural with Nike. I prefer the first Nike read, your delivery had me engaged throughout pace and diction were great. The second read sounded alot like the first. If you’re aiming for alternative try changing your tone, pace, inflection. I didn’t really hear that on the second, I heard that you changed some of your emphasis on the words but not really changing the things mentioned above. Good job overall!

      • #77843
        Grace17
        Participant

        The ziploc read, though good technique-wise, sounded disengaged from the product. It’ll be more engaging if you smiled when speaking of ziploc’s superiority so that i believe that you believe what you’re saying. I also liked the first Nike read better, your tone fit with the message of the read(i.e.: perseverance, strength, etc.), whereas the tone of the second read sounded uninvested in the message.

  • #77813
    Wysvoice
    Participant

    I actually liked these reads. Given that the Hubspot piece is about educating the audience how to increase sales using technology – I think it’s helpful to sound like “hey what are you doing and why aren’t you doing this”. Having said that, the last three or four words the script sounded a little to snark in tone. I understood what you were trying to do with the script.

  • #77801
    Ksmack
    Participant

    Sorry. I meant to upload these last week for my class tomorrow. I didn’t realize I exceeded my data storage.Any feedback would be more than welcomed.

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    • #77822
      Gill
      Participant

      Hi
      4H:Your voice pairs well with this script, I noticed its a pretty long script so nice job breaking it down. I would just be mindful of your diction when you said ideal instead of idea, heartland and I notice when you are about to say to you slur into the next word not sure if you noticed that.
      Cosmos: The read was good the only word not clear was rippling, it sounds like your volume went down at that moment. I like that you had variations with your pace and the read was natural. Keep it up!

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