Here is my recordings of commercials. This is the first time I recorded using Audacity rather than my phone app. I would appreciate feedback that would focus mainly on my pronunciation and pacing. Thank you.
Hi, I preferred your read of the bread company. Sesame Street sounded fast, a bit choppy, and at the end you pitched “theme” really high. Your bread company read sound much more professional and had a better tempo in my opinion.
Hi! I thought your pacing and pronunciation were good,and I know that’s what you were focused on! There were several points of unnatural glottal stops which can lead to a choppy sound overall, but I think nice work on the pace and pronunciation! 🙂
I like the energy you had in this read. You handled the list (when to go, what to wear…) very well. You have a lot of what my coach calls micro-pauses when break up the flow of your sentences. I agree with Lindsay that the pause after “this is definitely the place” is a bit exaggerated. It seperates the following list from the sentence it should be connected to. Still though, really good read.
Thank you so much for your feedback Rusty!I really appreciate it!
I wasn’t sure what to do exactly as in the copy there is literally a period after the word place. Thank you again so much!
Great work! I want to go to Alaska! I thought you sounded very believable, knowledgeable, and inviting. Only small critique is the sentence “this is definitely the place.” At first it sounded like a weird pause between “place” and “for downhill.” But when I listened again,I think it was intended to be a statement like “this is definitely the place.” Period. If that’s the case, I think it needs to sound more like an end and a beginning. But that’s just me trying to find something!
RoxyMel,
Your diction is on spot and I liked that you considered a slower pace at the beginning for imagery. I always forget that mostly for videos and that you considered speeding up your pace towards mid- to end to get listeners excited for whats to come. You did well varying your lists as well it kept me engaged. Nice Job!
Hey! I thought the diction was good as well. The pacing and tone felt more like a documentary narration, but not sure if that’s what you were going for.
Hi. I listened to this a couple of times. To me the beginning sounded like you were so focused on enunciating each word that they almost sounded a bit disconnected but then you settled into it and the last two-thirds was pretty good!
Hi there! I thought the pacing and diction were good! It was a little sing-songy, especially in the beginning, which can make it sound a little unnatural. But over-all, good job!
Hi Gill! You have a very pleasing voice. I agree with RoxyMel on speeding it up ever so slightly, but thought it was easy to listen to and was the right persona for your audience. Good job! Very small nit-pick would be the pronunciation of “with.” Sounded like “wid family” the first time you said it, and “wit 100 years” the second. The last time you said it was perfect! “With a financial advisor.” 🙂
Hey Thomas! Great job with your first recording! I think you sounded natural and believable. Some of your words run together a tiny bit, so be careful of that. “Aetna and Us Healthcare” sounded like “Aetna’n’UShealthcare” -all one word. Hope this helps!
Thanks Lindsay! Similar to Rusty, slowing down for me is the biggest challenge to overcome and what I’ve been working on recently, so this helps a lot!
Hi Joyce! I agree with Lindsey on varying your pitch when reading a list within a sentence. I think you can end each word in the list in a slightly different tone – higher, then slightly lower, and so on. I have trouble with this too 🙂 You want your listener to hear the first three items, and think… I get “analog instrumentation?,” “a leather steering wheel??” “AND contoured bucket seats?!?!”… wow I need a Buick!
Hi Joyce- this read starts out with a list of 3 items. You ended each at the same pitch. “Instrumentation,” “wheel,” and “seats” we’re all the same note, even though there was a little variety with the other words. I would be conscious of this so it sounds more interesting. “Performance” “excitement” and “commitment to quality” was also the same note at the end of each item. Otherwise, I like your voice, and nice work. There were a couple pauses that made it choppy, but overall had a pretty good flow. 😊
For this read, I hear that you’re trying to make it flow, but there are several things that’s causing it to be choppy. The first is where you’re pausing and the second is where you should have breaths. So be aware of pauses in the copy and make a note of where you should take breaths. Once you have those in the right places it should help your read to flow better.
Overall I would say the pacing is good and it sounds relaxed but a bit choppy. Towards the ends of your sentences/pauses, your volume also decreases so some of the words are a bit swallowed.
Hi
I remembered your first read and yes you’re headed in the right direction. The beginning sounds alittle read but as you get towards the end you seem more relax and that sounds more conversational so just be more relaxed with your reads. Your diction seems clear to me. Keep it up!
Hi! Good job! I think they do sound a little “read” with a few unnatural pauses- between toxic and chemicals is a good example. Your pace is great, diction is great, and I think you nailed the attitude appropriate for the copy. I would imagine talking to a real person in your real life while reading these to help sound more conversational. Even use a lead-in: start your recording out by pretending you are talking to a real person, out loud, before the copy starts to get the feeling in your mind/body. You can edit that part out later! It has helped me a bunch. 😊
Hi Tracy,
I think both of your reads are good with pace and diction. I don’t think it sounds read, I think your tone might be a little strong for clearair but I can see that you are making it more of a serious read given the topic. The only thing I would pay attention to is enunciation on both and where you’re giving emphasis.
This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Gill.
Hi! I thought these were both pretty good, natural sounding reads! I would say pay attention to your brand, though. Excedrin was not pronounced correctly. Listen to a commercial of theirs if you aren’t sure! should be exCEDrin. (as opposed to EXcedrin) Definitely wouldn’t want to mess this up in an audition 🙂
Sounds very smooth and I love your voice quality. If I had to give constructive feedback I would say maybe a little more variation in accentuating or highlighting parts of the copy 😉