Feedback Forum

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  • #78023
    gikegami
    Participant

    Here is my recordings of commercials. This is the first time I recorded using Audacity rather than my phone app. I would appreciate feedback that would focus mainly on my pronunciation and pacing. Thank you.

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    • #78140
      slemay
      Participant

      I liked the bread read but the last time you say bread it sounded like you were holding your breath. It sounded more natural in the rest of it.

    • #78063
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hi, I preferred your read of the bread company. Sesame Street sounded fast, a bit choppy, and at the end you pitched “theme” really high. Your bread company read sound much more professional and had a better tempo in my opinion.

    • #78034
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi! I thought your pacing and pronunciation were good,and I know that’s what you were focused on! There were several points of unnatural glottal stops which can lead to a choppy sound overall, but I think nice work on the pace and pronunciation! 🙂

  • #78019
    RoxyMel
    Participant

    Dear All, I appreciate your feedback. Thank you!

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    • #78064
      rustylj63
      Participant

      I like the energy you had in this read. You handled the list (when to go, what to wear…) very well. You have a lot of what my coach calls micro-pauses when break up the flow of your sentences. I agree with Lindsay that the pause after “this is definitely the place” is a bit exaggerated. It seperates the following list from the sentence it should be connected to. Still though, really good read.

      • #78077
        RoxyMel
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your feedback Rusty!I really appreciate it!
        I wasn’t sure what to do exactly as in the copy there is literally a period after the word place. Thank you again so much!

    • #78041
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Great work! I want to go to Alaska! I thought you sounded very believable, knowledgeable, and inviting. Only small critique is the sentence “this is definitely the place.” At first it sounded like a weird pause between “place” and “for downhill.” But when I listened again,I think it was intended to be a statement like “this is definitely the place.” Period. If that’s the case, I think it needs to sound more like an end and a beginning. But that’s just me trying to find something!

      • #78078
        RoxyMel
        Participant

        Thank you so much Lindsay! Your feedback is greatly appreciated!

    • #78031
      Gill
      Participant

      RoxyMel,
      Your diction is on spot and I liked that you considered a slower pace at the beginning for imagery. I always forget that mostly for videos and that you considered speeding up your pace towards mid- to end to get listeners excited for whats to come. You did well varying your lists as well it kept me engaged. Nice Job!

      • #78079
        RoxyMel
        Participant

        Thank you so much for your feedback Gill! It means a lot!

  • #78014
    Wltrcurtis
    Participant

    Hi everyone, looking to get feedback on my recording. Really appreciate feedback toward the read, diction, pacing, etc. Thank you in advance.

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    • #78070
      Thomas_D
      Participant

      Hey! I thought the diction was good as well. The pacing and tone felt more like a documentary narration, but not sure if that’s what you were going for.

    • #78065
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hi. I listened to this a couple of times. To me the beginning sounded like you were so focused on enunciating each word that they almost sounded a bit disconnected but then you settled into it and the last two-thirds was pretty good!

    • #78035
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi there! I thought the pacing and diction were good! It was a little sing-songy, especially in the beginning, which can make it sound a little unnatural. But over-all, good job!

  • #77996
    Gill
    Participant

    Hi any feedback welcomed on this read, this is on my phone so don’t need any audio feedback.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Gill.
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    • #78069
      Thomas_D
      Participant

      Great job Gill! Even though the speed can ramp up a bit, I found the pace super helpful for my own reads, as I tend to read too fast.

    • #78036
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi Gill! You have a very pleasing voice. I agree with RoxyMel on speeding it up ever so slightly, but thought it was easy to listen to and was the right persona for your audience. Good job! Very small nit-pick would be the pronunciation of “with.” Sounded like “wid family” the first time you said it, and “wit 100 years” the second. The last time you said it was perfect! “With a financial advisor.” 🙂

      • #78085
        Gill
        Participant

        Thanks for noticing that, very helpful to me and will be more cautious of it!

    • #78022
      RoxyMel
      Participant

      Hi Gill, I love your voice quality and enunciation! In my opinion, I would probably speed this read up just a slight touch. Good work

      • #78030
        Gill
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback I thought it might be a little slow as well.

    • #77999
      JoyceVOA
      Participant

      Pace and diction were good. It sounded like a read, not conversational. You did warm up towards the end.

  • #77990
    Thomas_D
    Participant

    Very first VO recording with Art Bruder. Healthcare narration

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    • #78066
      rustylj63
      Participant

      Hey Thomas! Good job. I wonder how it would sound if you stretched it out just a little bit. Maybe slow it down a hair and see which sounds better.

      • #78067
        Thomas_D
        Participant

        Thanks for the feedback Rusty! I naturally talk really fast so this feedback and challenge is huge!

    • #78037
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hey Thomas! Great job with your first recording! I think you sounded natural and believable. Some of your words run together a tiny bit, so be careful of that. “Aetna and Us Healthcare” sounded like “Aetna’n’UShealthcare” -all one word. Hope this helps!

      • #78068
        Thomas_D
        Participant

        Thanks Lindsay! Similar to Rusty, slowing down for me is the biggest challenge to overcome and what I’ve been working on recently, so this helps a lot!

  • #77988
    JoyceVOA
    Participant

    Am I reading my copy with a good flow or do I sound choppy? Thank you.

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    • #78109
      Elise Duke
      Participant

      Hi Joyce! I agree with Lindsey on varying your pitch when reading a list within a sentence. I think you can end each word in the list in a slightly different tone – higher, then slightly lower, and so on. I have trouble with this too 🙂 You want your listener to hear the first three items, and think… I get “analog instrumentation?,” “a leather steering wheel??” “AND contoured bucket seats?!?!”… wow I need a Buick!

      Keep up the good work!

    • #78038
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi Joyce- this read starts out with a list of 3 items. You ended each at the same pitch. “Instrumentation,” “wheel,” and “seats” we’re all the same note, even though there was a little variety with the other words. I would be conscious of this so it sounds more interesting. “Performance” “excitement” and “commitment to quality” was also the same note at the end of each item. Otherwise, I like your voice, and nice work. There were a couple pauses that made it choppy, but overall had a pretty good flow. 😊

    • #77993
      Gill
      Participant

      For this read, I hear that you’re trying to make it flow, but there are several things that’s causing it to be choppy. The first is where you’re pausing and the second is where you should have breaths. So be aware of pauses in the copy and make a note of where you should take breaths. Once you have those in the right places it should help your read to flow better.

  • #77986
    JoyceVOA
    Participant

    Does my read sound conversational? How is my diction?

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    • #78027
      Tracy
      Participant

      Overall I would say the pacing is good and it sounds relaxed but a bit choppy. Towards the ends of your sentences/pauses, your volume also decreases so some of the words are a bit swallowed.

    • #77992
      Gill
      Participant

      Hi
      I remembered your first read and yes you’re headed in the right direction. The beginning sounds alittle read but as you get towards the end you seem more relax and that sounds more conversational so just be more relaxed with your reads. Your diction seems clear to me. Keep it up!

  • #77979
    Tracy
    Participant

    Hi there Feedback Forum –

    Looking for feedback on two short scripts. Thanks in advance for your time.

    Tracy

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    • #78040
      mir19800
      Participant

      Hi Tracy,
      Both copies sound as if you were reading, a little choppy, because of the micro pauses.

    • #78039
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi! Good job! I think they do sound a little “read” with a few unnatural pauses- between toxic and chemicals is a good example. Your pace is great, diction is great, and I think you nailed the attitude appropriate for the copy. I would imagine talking to a real person in your real life while reading these to help sound more conversational. Even use a lead-in: start your recording out by pretending you are talking to a real person, out loud, before the copy starts to get the feeling in your mind/body. You can edit that part out later! It has helped me a bunch. 😊

    • #78026
      Tracy
      Participant

      Much appreciation on the feedback. I will redo and repost keeping your suggestions in mind.

    • #78009
      Gill
      Participant

      Hi Tracy,
      I think both of your reads are good with pace and diction. I don’t think it sounds read, I think your tone might be a little strong for clearair but I can see that you are making it more of a serious read given the topic. The only thing I would pay attention to is enunciation on both and where you’re giving emphasis.

      • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Gill.
    • #77994
      JoyceVOA
      Participant

      MathPSA – You sound as if you are reading copy. I didn’t hear any emotion in your voice. I thought your pace and diction were great.

  • #77975
    iSynge
    Participant

    Hey everyone! I’d like feedback on a couple of recordings I’ve been using to practice. Thank you for your time!

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    • #77978
      LindsayCampbell
      Participant

      Hi! I thought these were both pretty good, natural sounding reads! I would say pay attention to your brand, though. Excedrin was not pronounced correctly. Listen to a commercial of theirs if you aren’t sure! should be exCEDrin. (as opposed to EXcedrin) Definitely wouldn’t want to mess this up in an audition 🙂

  • #77973
    Cheechman
    Participant

    This is the last one required for my homework.
    I appreciate all your patience listening to me read.

    Moving on to class #2!

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    • #78021
      RoxyMel
      Participant

      Sounds very smooth and I love your voice quality. If I had to give constructive feedback I would say maybe a little more variation in accentuating or highlighting parts of the copy 😉

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