Feedback Forum
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August 7, 2020 at 9:27 am #15468
David Goldberg
Edge Studio StaffHi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by
David Goldberg.
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This topic was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
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July 19, 2022 at 5:46 pm #78368
Gracie Parker
ParticipantHello everybody! Ignore my post with the unplayable files, they were too large for the forum! I fixed them so they should be good this time. I am looking for feedback on rhythm, pacing, and intonation. I have received feedback that my sentences fall off basically to vocal fry at the endings. (It is true and I’ve been struggling to fix it.) Does my intonation sound better here? Thanks everybody! <3
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July 24, 2022 at 2:55 am #78468
Amitofu
ParticipantGreat job overall! I can definitely list a much greater amount of things you did right than wrong.
However, For improvement’s sake, here’s what I noticed in a critical light:
I haven’t heard your previous work, but it does sound like you’re still grabbing the reins of enunciating with fluidity (which is difficult ofc, but pros make it look easy 😛 (I’m not one of them)). Sounds like you can nail it with a bit more practice; ideally we try make it sound like you are saying the words without thinking (while still being articulate). As the other person mentioned you do seem to run out of breath, so they become very noticably fading-out words. Also, subjectively, I feel like you’re reading too fast and that’s part of why you run out of breath toward the end of a couple of phrases (I have the same problem often). Don’t be afraid of slowing down and letting each word ‘sink in’ a bit (which will also help fluidity and articulation) as well as add a little emotional content (to be a little dramatic, haha).I don’t know if you wanted technical feedback but briefly, I noticed some mouth sounds and smacks. You did a great job avoiding plosives for the most part. There is a very very light hiss in the background.
Again, overall good stuff.
[[Disclaimer: I’m a rookie with ADHD. Sometimes I hyper-focus on something negligible and other times I make out-right ‘bad’ calls based on something I (wrongly) idealize. Also conversely, I can miss an elephant in the room. I focus on constructive criticism on the basis of improvement, so it may not be apparent how good I think a recording is; it’s not because I don’t want to gush about all the awesomeness 🙂 ]]
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July 19, 2022 at 9:00 pm #78379
forceonature
ParticipantHi Gracie!
You have a great voice for this read 🙂 I thought your pacing was really good on both reads! One thing that really helped me with intonation and rhythm was picking what word in the sentence was most important to me. So for example: in the first sentence of the Annie E Casey Foundation read I would say, for me, “every” is the most important word (it could be different for you) “EVERY child deserves to grow up with…”. Putting emphasis on the important word that we chose can help both with rhythm and with intonation for me because it gives me kind of a target to hit if that makes sense? You don’t have to go crazy with it though! For example you do this REALLY well in the next sentence when you say “HIS skills HER talents….”
I think the vocal fry issue might be coming from running out of breath? At 23 seconds you say “poor neighborhoods” and run out of breath before finishing with “where the chance to thrive….”. I had this issue too! What I did to fix this is I made sure to take a good quality breath from my diaphragm where my natural pauses would be. This even helped with my pacing because it sort of forced me to slow down a little bit.
Keep up the great work!!! You have a great voice and I’m so excited to see what you do!
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July 19, 2022 at 5:43 pm #78367
Gracie Parker
ParticipantHello everybody! I am looking for feedback on rhythm, pacing, and intonation. I have received feedback that my sentences fall off basically to vocal fry at the endings. (It is true and I’ve been struggling to fix it.) Does my intonation sound better here? Thanks everybody! <3
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July 19, 2022 at 4:23 pm #78363
johntells114
ParticipantHello guys. I would appreciate anyone who gave feedback on my acting/performance. This is a part of horror narration I did.
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johntells114.
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July 19, 2022 at 3:53 pm #78356
Gill
Participant-
July 20, 2022 at 4:54 pm #78401
Grace Lee
ParticipantYour approaches to the Zoloft and Children’s Advil scripts were very appropriate for the content making them relatable to the listener who would be a potential consumer. If anything, maybe say “fast” faster in the Advil one. lol. For the Autozone one, I could feel you smiling in your voice which was nice and engaging. Really great work!
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July 19, 2022 at 5:05 pm #78366
edixon310
ParticipantThese are all very nice reads. The quality of your voice lends itself very well to the Zoloft and Advil reads.
My only caution would be to try and vary your reads ( the pitch pace and tenor). All three sound very similar.
And put emphasis behind the “call to action.”
i.e. “It’s time to talk to your doctor”, or “better than Tylenol.”
But great job!
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July 18, 2022 at 7:32 pm #78340
gikegami
ParticipantHere are two commercials. Any feedback on aspects such as pacing or pronunciation would be very much appreciated.
Thank you.Attachments:
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July 19, 2022 at 3:18 pm #78353
RGK3
ParticipantHi,
The overall pace on the Purina one is good, but it feels a little measured in a way that prevents the read from sounding conversational. Pronunciation sounds good to me.
For Pizza Hut, the pronunciation of mozzarella doesn’t sound entirely natural to my ear. Most people don’t emphasize the “z” and start it out like “mot.” The pacing starts off strong, but I think it slows down and your pauses get a bit long toward the end.
Nice job overall.
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July 18, 2022 at 5:32 pm #78335
Wes@1972
ParticipantHey guys! I have a couple of reads for my homework assignment. Been out of the loop for a bit.
My very first attempt at a movie trailer read! Thanks in advance for any constructive feedback.Wes
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July 18, 2022 at 7:28 pm #78339
gikegami
ParticipantI like your tone of voice and your pronunciation. I can understand each word that you were saying. However, the pacing in the Alexander the Great trailer felt kind of choppy or a bit shaky.
As for the Hudson-Yard trailer, it had a better flow in comparison to the alexander trailer.
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July 18, 2022 at 11:09 am #78318
twstark
ParticipantHey everyone,
A couple new reads. The first is an introduction to a tech product called Apache Spark. It felt like a bit of a tongue twister just based on how it’s written, so good practice. The second read is an introduction to the philanthropic foundation. It’s a bit of a long read that posed challenges all it’s own. I look forward to any and all feedback – thanks!
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July 19, 2022 at 4:16 pm #78362
Gill
ParticipantHi Twstark,
Nice job on these reads and all the tongue twisters! I agree with edixon310 I could hear your reads on somewhere like the discovery channel. When you slow down I really hear where you’re hitting those key words. When its alittle fast they sound a little more clustered and its a little harder to differentiate I hear this at the beginning of Apache-spark. Your pacing for the hewlett foundation was good, I can hear all of your variations nicely with this read and you executed it really well. -
July 18, 2022 at 11:23 am #78321
edixon310
ParticipantThese are both great, technical reads. It sounds like what you’d hear on PBS at the end of one of their shows. Not sure if you’re aware, they both cut off right at the end.
The pitch and pacing were good. There is a little bit of static during the read, barely noticeable.
Great job!-
July 20, 2022 at 1:09 pm #78397
twstark
ParticipantThanks a lot for the feedback. My natural tone definitely fits into the realm of the PBS/Discovery Channel type of read. No kids cartoons for me! Also, thanks for letting me know about the static. I’ve discovered that sometimes my Mac seems to struggle a little with a clean bounce and can add a little static if I rush it or have other programs operating in the background simultaneously. I’ll watch out for that.
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July 18, 2022 at 10:48 am #78315
edixon310
ParticipantHi guys. I am looking for feedback on a skit I wrote for my bio. Let me know what you think.
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July 18, 2022 at 10:58 am #78316
edixon310
ParticipantLet me try this again.
Hi guys. I am looking for feedback on a skit I wrote for my bio. Let me know what you think.Attachments:
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July 19, 2022 at 4:04 pm #78361
Gill
Participantedixon310,
You have such a creative mind set. This is great, you kept my attention the entire time and I really like how you mixed it all together to showcase your different characters voices. Really nice bio! -
July 18, 2022 at 8:06 pm #78345
Thomas_D
ParticipantHa! I love this. This is a very creative approach and one that I haven’t heard before. Would you classify your voice as a “jazzy” voice?
I’m also curious if bios are typically this long in length as well.
Overall, great read!
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July 18, 2022 at 8:27 pm #78348
edixon310
ParticipantAppreciate it.
I suppose you could say my voice is a bit ‘jazzy.’ At least in this skit. Honestly, I was making it up as I went along and that just popped into my head.
Demos aren’t typically this long, but a lot of reads are. I use this when I am asked to showcase what I can do. It also serves as a plug of sorts.
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July 17, 2022 at 11:27 pm #78306
Titus Nichols
ParticipantAny and all feedback is welcomed!
I Am Anxiety
I’ve been expecting you. Why? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me?
Oh! You still don’t know who I am. Let me try and help you with that. . .I am the ill ease that you feel when you walk into a crowded room. You know. The hot and cold flushes that confuse you when you are already confused enough. I am the one that raises the whip to your already raising heart. I am the tightening of your chest. The s*********g worries that feel like they might become an avalanche and they can just bury you in an instant.
My friend, I am the obsessive and the compulsive. I’m the voice. You know the one. Always questioning, questioning, questioning, everything you do, everything you think. And I am every, single staring eye that watches you. So, now that we have become acquainted, what are you going to do about it?
Tag: 1 in 4 people experience anxiety. And most don’t know about it. You need to know anxiety to be free from it.
Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 22 4636.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
Titus Nichols.
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July 18, 2022 at 10:47 am #78314
edixon310
ParticipantI must admit that this read threw me a bit. I only read the first couple of lines, and I was expecting caricature when you started off, but when you got to the tag, I realized why you were reading it the way you were.
This needed to be more poetic than character, and that’s what you did, because this was a more serious read.
The only thing I would add is to be a bit more conversational in your delivery.-
July 18, 2022 at 12:12 pm #78325
Titus Nichols
ParticipantThank you!
When you say “conversational” what do you mean? Should I talk faster and with a bit higher tone so it doesn’t sound so “doom & gloom”?
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July 18, 2022 at 4:17 pm #78332
edixon310
ParticipantPicture yourself talking to a friend about a controversial call in the game last night. How would your delivery change?
I suppose that would make the pace a bit faster, but not necessarily. But you want to give the impression that you are speaking extemporaneously.
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July 17, 2022 at 7:09 pm #78303
Thomas_D
ParticipantPlaystation 5 Practice Read.
Hey everyone, here’s my practice read for Playstation 5. Any and all feedback is welcomed! Thanks in advance
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July 19, 2022 at 5:56 pm #78371
mcarter
ParticipantHi Thomas! Love how resonant your voice is in this! I would be curious to hear it a bit more emotive at the top, but thought that really came through in the ending. The final call to action felt so specific.
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July 18, 2022 at 10:35 am #78313
edixon310
ParticipantNice Job! You’ve got a voice that would be great for narration. I would add a little more feeling behind the words. This read reminded me of the Star Trek open. Of course, William Shatner is always over the top, but I would try to emulate his emotive read. You’ll find your grove in there somewhere.
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