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#73602
Garprocks
Participant

Hi Joseph. I really like your voice and pace – just a couple of thoughts:

On Dublin,

I especially like “ever burgeoning” – not easy to say clearly.

I would pause after “home to great writers” and before “like”.

You really emphasize “and” a couple of times, and in my opinion, they should be de-emphasized.

On Alaska, “this official” runs together a little bit.

I’m not feeling an excitement to go like I want to feel when listening to your invitation. It might even be enough to really emphasize planning a trip to “ALASKA”; that’s exciting!!!

You got this!