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#72077
jwreickel
Participant

Good morning Timber Tykes,

I tried to provide some feedback for you below on each of your reads, well done!

Sincerely,

Jimmy

Saying No – lots of personality and definitely sounds like a conversation! I like the chuckle and do feel like this has a distinct beginning/middle/end. really nice!

Get More – this definitely sounds like a real commercial so that’s great! There is a good amount of tonal shift throughout, especially at the end, but in the beginning/middle sections you may want to change one of the exclamatory sentences to not end on a high inflection (e.g. depending on how much smartphone data YOU USE! and get a new phone ON US!)