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Hi Chas, great work! This is a good genre for you. I too think you could slow down the Club Med script and really hang on the 6 phrases that start with “No”. After that long list of things, I think too that you could pause just a tiny bit before “Now imagine a Club Med…” to give it more emphasis, because you are now solving the needs of the reader by convincing people how they can escape all of these (negative) things by taking a trip to Club Med. Very good tone and enunciation for both!