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December 4, 2020 at 11:14 pm
#59062
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Participant
Hi Katelyn! This sounds good. It felt like the size of the park could have been read a little faster (6,641 square kilometers). I know it is a number, but it gets stretched out a little longer than needed to me. The park is big but you also would want to emphasize not only the size of the park but moreso the list of qualities about the park. The list of items sounded fine to me. It’s hard to vary the tone for each one when you have so many items (7?), but I think you did a good job with that. Good work!
Mary