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#57829
Avatarkatelyndawnvo
Participant

Hi Sarah! This is a delightful read. I really enjoyed listening to you, you sound cute as a button. Here are my constructive bits. I think it started out a little shaky at the start, there was a long deep breath and pause here: “even people who don’t like fish (breath) have been known to like this fish.” And it would be best to keep that as one thought without pauses. Try pausing between ideas. Of course, we need to breathe but try to be strategic in where you would take those breaths so it doesn’t take the listener out. The part in the middle had me enthralled – specifically the bits about the “blazing bonfire and salted water – crisp smell.” LOVELY. I would say when editing something like this, you can listen back and anywhere there are very loud obvious and distracting breaths you can just drop the volume on those. Great work, I really enjoyed it! 🙂