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There’s some inflection there, but I’m not really getting any emotion from the read, overall.

What are the qualities of Jaguar that you are trying to convey? What does the brand say about the person who drives this car? Find those emotional touch points, and find the words that emphasize that image and emotion and give it more punch.

Also, is this a scratch track (it’s OK if it is) or is this the equipment you will be recording on? If it’s the latter, I can hear a lot of compression, so there is a lot of body missing from your voice.