[Shmuel]

Trying to upload a file so you all can just click on it, just like everyone else. The file format is now MP3, and I added the ul tag:

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[Shmuel]

Here is my first upload, please tell me what you think. It’s a PSA about pool safety, here is the text:

POOL SAFETY

Sometimes there’s no do over
Somethings you can’t rewind
That’s when an extra safety step can mean the difference between a close call
And a call to 911
Simple steps save lives
Learn more at PoolSafely dot gov

(edit)

Ooof. Just saw that the WAV file was uploaded so you have to download it. How do I upload like the rest of you, so all you have to do is listen to it?

• This reply was modified 4 years ago by Shmuel. Reason: mistake in uploading

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[Shmuel]

ohmygawd, gimme some of that almond milk! You can sell snow to an Eskimo!
I heard the S’s and P’s a bit to much “breathy”.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by Shmuel.

[Shmuel]

Hi John,
Thanks for uploading these. A few comments, and it’s only my opinion, just a fellow VO student (albeit with acting experience):
Your diction is clear, and I don’t hear any breathing.
No hard P’s or S’s. You know how to record, and you’ve got the right equipment, that can be heard right off the bat. The quality of the recording is top notch.
You have a pleasant, mellifluous voice.

In each of the samples, I would give it more energy and more interest. Some strategic pauses might help, but ask your coach. Mine said that a commercial is like a shark – it’s got to keep moving or it will die. But I felt all the pieces were in one continuation, and was lacking some vocal “movement” or something like that.
With Toronto, I missed you feeling like you are encouraging someone to row with you in the boat, or some such. We are a team, we can do it! Something like that.
Recycling: I didn’t quite get that you relate to the planet like it’s a treasured pet, or a best friend. I need to feel that you really like the planet. And heck, so should all of us, right? Consider adding a very slight edge (pardon the pun) to the word “plastic” as if it’s poison. Dont’ go overboard with it, though.
Alaska: I was missing that you are truly awed by these breathtaking scenes. Note that “Alaska on your mind” is a take off on the song “Georgia on My Mind”, it would be nice to hear some sort of vocal hint that it’s similar. I would like to hear the LOVE you have of this really cool video that you are going to show us.
Wishing you success !
Shmuel Goldstein

[Author]

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