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  • #78707
    samsheeks
    Participant

    Another practice recording! Notes appreciated 🙂

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    • #78985
      Rachel MSP
      Participant

      I think you approached this well, as it is serious. I would try and determine what the most important words are in the script and be sure to emphasize them, only because it sounds like almost everything is being emphasized. The last “because” did not sound as confident as you might have meant to make it; It sounded a bit shakey.

    • #78740
      88KeysDC
      Participant

      You delivered this with the gravity the subject matter deserved. While I think a read like this could benefit from less breath noises, I think you definitely have the right approach to the copy.

  • #78703
    nicolance
    Participant

    Hello friends and cohorts – below is audition I never got to send – posting expired before I replied – (got to be fast!!). It is a character ad for local radio for a roofing company. Direction was: “this is for animated giraffe Archie, the mascot of the local roofing company – bubbly, fun, playful, chipper and enthusiastic.” Tell me what you think – thank you!! Lance (I did not edit out all the breaths since this was an audition)

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    • #78713
      samsheeks
      Participant

      The sound is really great! Can definitely tell you have a good set-up. And I can picture the character very clearly. It felt a little slow and the emphasized words in the last sentence felt a bit awkward.

  • #78695
    BB123
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,
    First time posting here. I am uploading these for my “homework” and would appreciate some feedback. Looking for two things: 1) How does the audio sound, recording from my home studio? and 2) How is my overall performance?
    Thank you.

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    • #78748
      BB123
      Participant

      Wow, thank you everyone for all the responses and for your feedback. I do appreciate it

    • #78739
      88KeysDC
      Participant

      I’ll echo some of the other comments – the beer ad was perhaps a little overly serious. It would be great to hear it delivered a little more conversationally. There were some mouth noises here and there, but the overall quality was very pleasing to the ears – you have a wonderful voice!

    • #78714
      samsheeks
      Participant

      You have a great voice for cars and beer! Great work. I wanted a little more dynamics in the Sam Adams one. I love the “manly” feel but it felt a little all one note.

    • #78702
      nicolance
      Participant

      Hey BB123 – as for technical – I can hear the force of your p and t . . .are you using a Pop filter? and you may wish to turn down your gain – you may be peaking (I find it a little loud). and a couple of mouth clicks – remember to hydrate a lot (I have this issue all the time). Your voice and tone are cool and deep and warm, and you sound natural- not forced or announcery. I don’t know what direction the Sam Adams ad might have had, but you sound so very serious – maybe too serious for a beer ad? Did you have someone in mind that you were talking to? Slow the pace on the car spot – and again think about who you are telling this info to. Good job! Lance

    • #78699
      MayeWest
      Participant

      I like how your pace is different in each. These sound great, keep up the good work!!

  • #78688
    Cheechman
    Participant

    Here is another one for comments.

    ON all I like the ones with a 2 after …lol

    This is it for today. Time for yardwork…YUK!!!

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    • #78715
      samsheeks
      Participant

      Great tone and pacing, and great casting for your voice. I wanted the tagline to feel a little more personal and less “sales-y”.

    • #78712
      nicolance
      Participant

      Hello Cheechman – your tone and deep richness bring an authority to you read in all cases. Whenever you have a list of things, vary the tone of each part of the list so they sound different – otherwise they all sound the same and the list gets lost. You had lists in several of your reads below and all cases, you should vary the tone. I hear you reading the scripts – but I want to hear you having a conversation and talking to someone . . .try picturing someone you are telling this to – I think this will help to reduce your announcer sound. Good jobs – Lance (and a note to you – a pop filter does not affect the s sounds – only has affect on sounds that push a lot of air out in front of your face – like P or T)

      • #78726
        Cheechman
        Participant

        I was informedd the pop filters do lessen the S and P sounds

  • #78685
    Cheechman
    Participant

    Here is another one for comments.

    ON all I like the ones with a 2 after …lol

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    • #78724
      Cheechman
      Participant

      Thanks, alot!
      I have a hard time picturing someone to read to.

      • #78738
        nicolance
        Participant

        try using a real photograph to look at during the read?

  • #78678
    Cheechman
    Participant

    Here are the other 2 from the previous post.
    Don’t know why they didn’t attach.

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    • #78716
      samsheeks
      Participant

      You have a perfect voice for these types of projects. But I think you can work on making your sentences flow a little more. It sounded a bit too rehearsed at points. And on the Trump ones, I think you could have gone further with the assertiveness.

  • #78675
    Cheechman
    Participant

    I’m uploading 3 sets of 2 each for my second coaching session.
    All comments will be taken seriously and are completely appreciated.

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    • #78700
      MayeWest
      Participant

      The first one sounds cleaner than the 2nd. Good job!!!

  • #78665
    ladyburdkm
    Participant

    Hi all, I welcome feedback on these commercial reads; creativity, pace, clarity, and conversational delivery.

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    • #78984
      Rachel MSP
      Participant

      Hi,
      I thought this sounded like a great radio ad. I prefer the crayola-2 rather than 4 because it didn’t sound as confident and the inflections/cadences on certain words/phrases didn’t sound like they were placed where you might have wanted them.
      I might suggest sounding slightly more enthused, only to keep the listener’s attention.

      • #79246
        ladyburdkm
        Participant

        Thank you kindly Rachel! Going to keep on practicing! 🙂

    • #78717
      samsheeks
      Participant

      The sound quality is really great! And totally believable “mom” voice. The thoughts felt a little choppy at points and that was distracting, especially in the first line. Maybe work on connecting thoughts and driving the through-line.

      • #78774
        ladyburdkm
        Participant

        Excellent, I felt the choppiness as well. I really appreciate this. Thank you

  • #78653
    TeatroMan
    Participant

    Looking for feedback on my narration spots. Any micro pauses, am I pronouncing words correctly? Engaging? That sort of stuff

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    • #78762
      Gill
      Participant

      Hi TeatroMan,
      Nice work on your reads you showed a wide variation of your pitch. I really liked cosmos because I felt that had a more conversational connection and your pace was good for the read. I’m not sure what you were aiming for with one piece. If you’re considering a gaming read for it then I would say your projection would be on track but if you weren’t then its a little over projected. I did like your characterization of it. For Chaplin, I did hear some slurring of your words so just be mindful of that. Overall nice job!

    • #78718
      samsheeks
      Participant

      Great work! I can hear you trying to pronounce things clearly – keep it up! I think it will keep getting easier!

  • #78647
    Amy Connerley
    Participant

    Preparing for my commercial demo! I would love feedback on if these sound conversational and my pacing! *Traveling at the moment so recording on my phone, so no notes on recording quality please!

    Thank you! 🙂

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    • #79069
      elizbrooksbell
      Participant

      Really good work! The only thing I would mention would be the pacing, sometimes you seem to be going a bit fast, and other times too slow. I would just say to be more consistent!

    • #78728
      samsheeks
      Participant

      great enthusiasm and connection to the script! I can hear that your room needs some treatment. It was a bit echo-y and I can hear some static or so from your equiptment.

    • #78701
      nicolance
      Participant

      Hello Amy – great energy. Slow down on Barbie a little – this will help with enunciation – lost the t on adult both times, and the d in assembled. And who are you talking when you say “you can be anything”? It will sound more conversational if you have someone you are telling this to . . .as for Discovery – that is more of a promo than a commercial . . .promos tend to be big – and so if you add more energy and again think about who you are telling this to, you will have more of a conversational tone. Great job on both – Lance

    • #78683
      Cheechman
      Participant

      Are you using a “pop” filter?

      The letter s is very noticeable.

      Otherwise, they sound good.

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