[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 2 months ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[ikrani]

Hi, all.
Per my VO coach’s instructions, I’ve prepared and uploaded a read for a commercial script.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Silver Wit]

Sounds good to me, I think your tempo is a little slow at first, but it still matched the feel of the ad.

[SuperLuke]

Hi, ikrani,

It’s a good recording that is well-paced, I can hear your words clearly and understand what you are saying. Were you aiming to do a cold read for the toothpaste brand, practicing reading copies, or was this homework for pacing?
There are some moments when I hear you pause. I’m not sure if that’s because of the microphone or if there’s something in the background.
Anyway, keep up the great work!

[elizbrooksbell]

I think it sounds super good! One thing I would say is that when hitting the key words, you might want to try blending them in a little more with the other words, if that makes sense. Other than that, you sounded great!

[Audrea23]

Absolutely loved listening to this, and truly felt I was immersed in an actual radio/tv commercial.
I would consider pausing ever so slightly longer (for half a second) between your transition from How do you get clean…to At RiseWell
The pacing/cadence on “as effective as a chemical clean” seems different from the rest of the recording; however; it works well with this product/advertisement.

[ikrani]

That’s good to hear. I was afraid this would sound too much like a rough take rather than a final cut. I never got to do any last-minute re-recordings like I’d planned, on account of throat-related sickness.

[Shae Van Der Merwe]

Hello and Happy Tuesday to everyone!
This is my first time posting on this forum and I am very excited for the feedback to help me further and better my practice. I appreciate all of you and your feedback.
I have not yet set up a home studio, as I am in the early stages of my Voice Over journey, so my apologies for the sound quality.
I am focusing on the Narration genre at the moment and am looking to broaden my range and work on diction. I would love any feedback on the delivery and interpretation of the text and my diction.
Thanks so much for the help and I wish you all success on your journey as well.
I have included the text below, it is from the Edge Studio script library.
“Hey there new employee, or should we say, new family member. As a member of the Texicon family, we want to formally introduce you to your new home, but too formal because that’s just not our style. Now you’ve already got your new uniforms and met with our incredible CEO, or head of the family as we like to call him. Now it’s time for me to bring you up to speed on what your days are going to be filled in with. Make sure you grab some of the complimentary cake you have in front of you, we love cake here so you’re going to have to get used to that, and see what the rest of your time at the Texicon household has in store for you!”

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[gigihernandezdoesit]

Hey there Shae! you do have a wonderful sound and your read is very natural! I would say, if you’re hoping to increase your range, try to mix it up with pacing and adjusting your volume along the way. The cheerful tone works for the like, “character” in this copy, but in the long form of it all, adding those levels will really keep a listener engaged. great work though!

[Shae Van Der Merwe]

Thanks so much for your Feedback. This is very helpful.

[madtrammell]

I liked this read, you have a great voice!

[Shae Van Der Merwe]

Thanks so much. I appreciate it.

[cammons01]

Hey everyone,

Uploaded a couple of practice scripts for commercial demo. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. 🙂

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Silver Wit]

You have a great voice, but I feel like you’re taking a few too many long pauses for your lego land read. I agree with the “lead-in” strategy, it’s something I need to remind myself of too.

[Mike T]

You’ve got a great voice! I think you can work a bit on the delivery. It sounded to me like you were reading instead of performing. The Home Depot spot was the best. It won’t take much to get that one to have a more natural delivery.

The Lego Land spot sounded to me like a radio live read, where the host is reading off a sheet of paper live. That’s not a total negative (I love radio and worked in the industry), but probably not the sound you want on your demo.

Also, watch your breathing. I didn’t notice this in the Home Depot spot, but you had some sharp in-breaths on the Lego Land spot. Some breaths are good, but I think those added to the sensation of it sounding like a radio live read vs a produced commercial.

Keep at it!

[cammons01]

Thank you so much for the feedback! Greatly appreciate it.

I agree with the breathing. I find it challenging sometimes to breath at certain times throughout the script without making the delivery sound so “choppy” (for lack of better words).

Maybe using more of the “lead-in” technique could help deliver a more conversational, natural delivery for the Lego Land spot?

[Mike T]

I’ve found the lead-in technique definitely helps me keep things conversational, which I struggle with. There are breathing techniques that would probably be able to help as well. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a chance to research any yet myself, even though I need to. I also get sharp in-breaths at the beginning of some sentences.

Keep working at it!

[madtrammell]

Hello everyone, hope you are all having a great and productive start to the week! I am looking to get some feedback on my second practice read for narration as I am preparing to record my first official narration demo in a few weeks.

Thank you!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[samsheeks]

Great voice!! But this could have been a bit more lively with some more variety. Shakespeare and the theatre are supposed to be fun and inspiring!

[cammons01]

Very nice and textured voice. The pacing was great. I think you can bring a tad-bit more variety to it to give more “life” to the delivery. Other than that, it was really good. Keep up the good work!

[Mike T]

It sounds good! Try to have a little more variety in your read. Even though this is only 25 seconds long, it still has a beginning, middle, and end. If you can vary your performance a bit, you can connect to the listener more and better tell the story.

[Rachel MSP]

Rachel Summers assignment of 10 commercial scripts for first VO private lesson. Looking for constructive feedback. TIA

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Mike T]

I really like the Six Flags spot. I didn’t hear you, I heard the character! The only thing on that spot might be to deliver the final “Yes!” in a way that contrasts more with the no’s from earlier in the script.

[edixon310]

Rachel, this demo is very good. My only suggestion would be to give us more of a roller-coaster ride, i.e. more highs and lows in terms of animation. And remember to billboard the company name with a bit of a space before and after.

[Declan Waters]

Hello All,

Some more practice scripts. Any and all feedback is welcome!
The Sesame Place recording I found challenging because I wanted to find a balance between my unaffected voice and the classic over-the-top theme park commercial guy. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Silver Wit]

Great read, but I have to agree that you should have fun with the Sesame read. Tap into your inner child and let the good times roll.

[samsheeks]

The sound is great! Overall, really good reads with good understanding of the scripts. In Freshii, I wanted you to really paint the picture of the bowls, make me really want to eat that right now! And in Sesame, have more fun and make it feel more lively and animated – more character!

[edixon310]

Declan, these are both very good Reads. I like that they are conversational.
I’ll give my opinion because the reads were very good.
In the Freshii read, when you ask the questions, there should be more inflection to accentuate that they are questions. Yours sound more like statements.
The Sesame Place read, should be more animated, as if talking to children. Essentially the ad is directed to catch a child’s attention so they bug their parents about going.
Overall, very good job.

[Cheechman]

This my last read of 10 for coaching.

#1 is over the top, very masculine I would say.
#2 is a little more reserved.

All comments are welcome but would really like to know which one is the one YOU li9ke.

Thanks again.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Cheechman.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[madtrammell]

I enjoyed number 1, I feel that for this type of read the over the top performance is more appropriate.

[Declan Waters]

Hello,
I really like #1, I think your voice is suited to be powerful. The words invoke a sense of authority, and your voice in #1 delivered that more thoroughly, I think.

[Cheechman]

I really enjoy “over the top” reads, but the coach and others tell me it only represents approx. 20% of available work?

[Cheechman]

Here is 9 of ten reads.

Wanted to thank all who have made comments on my recent reads.

I am trying to put all the things said into my last 2 reads, this being one of them.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Rachel MSP]

Hi,
I feel this was a good read in general.
I would suggest for the product/script to increase the pace and a change of tone. I would suggest this because the tone sounds like you are appealing to a much younger audience in my opinion. I don’t think that is a bad thing but I wouldn’t suggest it for this script.

[edixon310]

Okay, trying again for a more conversational character read. Let me know what you think.

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[Rachel MSP]

This sounded really good in my opinion. I would suggest enunciating a bit more on “memories” I like that you’re making it sound dark but I didn’t understand what you said at first. I also notice you kind of went out of character slightly when you sped up a little bit.

[Declan Waters]

This was beautifully done. I really like your voice and tone. Given that it’s the Joker, I think you could get away with sounding a little bit more unhinged. Your best moments were toward the beginning and near the end, when there was a bit more venom in your voice.

[annellakaine]

Hi all! New here and would love some feedback on the below narration copy. Thanks for your help!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to view attached files.

[elizbrooksbell]

Wow! The American Airlines one was so good! I felt like I could hear you smiling, and I felt like I was actually on an airplane!

[Rachel MSP]

Hi, I think you had a nice pace for what these type of scripts.
I feel like your tone sounded a little too animated and/or jumpy for these scripts; Almost as if you were over-acting to create a character. There were instances when you did sound natural and not exaggerated, I think you do overall have a nice sound.

[annellakaine]

Thanks for giving it a listen!

[Author]

Replies