Feedback Forum
- This topic has 10,021 replies, 716 voices, and was last updated 5 days, 23 hours ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
-
Replies
-
I’m working on a natural delivery, does this sound like a commercial?
RiseWell Toothpaste
How do you get clean?
At RiseWell we believe oral hygiene should be natural and safe, without nasty toxins.
Our natural mineral flavours will have you feeling fresh all day.
Your teeth will not only feel healthier but also look visibly whiter.
RiseWell mineral toothpaste – as effective as a chemical clean, without nasty toxins.
Time for a mineral clean, time to RiseWell.-
Hi Logan DFD – I find the opening and the closing line the strongest/most conversational and most like a commercial. In between sounds like you’re happy, but a bit disinterested. I think much of this is the script. There’s a lot of repetition (i.e. “without nasty toxins” and “mineral clean/mineral toothpaste/mineral flavors”). Of course not all jobs you win are going to have great scripts! I find if you’re gonna have to do repetition, trying to make each repeated word/phrase a little different than the other. Maybe hit “without” in the first instance and add a little “ewwww” to nasty toxins on the second. Perhaps give a little “sparkle” to fresh. Your voice sounds naturally positive and upbeat – relax and go with that, it’s not a gift that everyone has!
-
-
-
Great work! You have a good voice!
Don’t have any feedback on the Carnation-Essentials read or the Fresh read, they sound great! The Cosmos read might need more pitch variation. I notice because I struggle with it too. The Star Wars read was good too. The only pointer I have on that one is that, knowing the full scene, the line needs to be delivered a bit more desperate and crazy.
That’s all! Keep up the good work!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
You have a very unique voice with a lovely accent. The sound treatment you have sounds good to my ear but there are distinct mouth clicks which are easily removed with different plugins like iZotope. Example at :10 on the first read. There is another click at :45 which is something other than a mouth click on the second read and a pause that I’m not sure needs to be there. Add a little bit of pitch change so you aren’t “reading” throughout but all in all you’ve got the stuff to do great in my opinion.
-
-
Hello Everyone –
I’m seeking some feedback on the attached brief recordings. One is a redo of a recording that I posted a few weeks back (Math PSA). Thanks in advance for your time.
-
Hello tstuger,
You have a lovely warm voice. I would suggest thinking more about the audience you are talking to. When talking about Covid-19 and students, I would imagine there should be more a sense of urgency and reassurance to get these kids back on track. Other than that, both recordings sounded great!
-
-
Listened to both takes and you have a nice voice. The post edit however sounds different between the two, like they were recorded in different rooms. Math PSA in opinion sounds much cleaner and is a much more pleasant read. Nice work.
-
-
-
Good Evening,
Hoping for some feedback as I prep for my commercial demo. Does it sound conversational? Diction and pacing? Thank you. Ryan.
-
Nice job on both reads overall. I would say Ziploc was the stronger of the two. I actually did that one for my practice as well. Purina — pacing was good other than the pause. Maybe a lighten up the tone just a bit. Ziploc — very solid. Good pacing, good diction. And like others said, bring out the smile!
-
-
Nice smooth voice, great diction (wish I and that! Always working on it) and the record quality sounds fine. I think the tone of both could be a bit lighter/fun, especially Purina since pets are great for humor. Do you have both reads planned for your demo? I only ask because to my ear, your voice seems like a natural for luxury brands, computer/tech or anything “dad-centric”…perhaps more than for everyday consumer goods.
Best of luck with the demo! I’m recording a narration demo next week, so pardon me if I’m a little obsessed with scripts and what bests showcases each voice. I’m in the thick of it!
-
Thank you! I’m always working on bringing out the smile and fun side. Not gonna use these for demo, but as you mentioned will be doing things more like John Deere, or Lowes, and Dad stuff. These help me open up a little more since I’m not great with the emotive side. Really appreciate it. I did my narration demo late last year and working on my commercial now. Best of luck to you!
-
-
Hello RBenesVO,
Great reads! Regarding the first one for Purina, I feel as though there could be more warmness and pep in your voice. Imagine talking to a friend who is also a fellow pet owner, and you are really excited to recommend a new pet food for them. Other than that, I thought the pacing was excellent, and your voice is very smooth.
The second read was solid. Sounded conversational, good diction, and great pacing. IF I had to nitpick, I would probably recommend bringing out that “smile” as others have recommended.
-
They were very straight forward with no excitement in your voice.
Maybe think about your talking to an actual friend. I have the same problem.
Ever hear of the emotional wheel? Goggle it, it had helped me. -
-
I thought these were really good. You have a very smooth voice. I thought that the pacing and diction on both were also good. My only critiques would be that on the Purina piece, there was an audible breath at the 16 second mark right before “your canary will thank you…” I also think that your diction and pacing were good in the Ziplock piece. The only point that I would say in that one would be that it seemed a tad serious for a ziplock ad – the tone could be somewhat lighter – maybe ending with a smile.
-
-
-
-
Overall I think you nailed this one! Your voice is a great match to the topic (trusting and concerned, as an insurance company SHOULD be). It’s 15 seconds exactly, which is likely what the script writer intended so the pacing is perfect. Ending with a question is tough, so many ways to handle but I think you did it well. Nice job!
-
-
-
-
-
-
Hello Cheechman,
Solid reads!
For the first recording, there were parts that sounds like you were a bit short on breath. I think fixing the pacing here would make it more conversational.
For the second recording, pacing sounded a lot better! It also sounded a more conversational. However, I felt like the excitement in your voice drop off a bit, but I am not sure if that was the tone you were going for.
For the third read, you really drove it home with getting the audience to buy into what you were selling! However, there were parts again where you sounded a bit short on breath. I would say this is my favorite of the three. If you can use the emotion on this read, and the pacing of the second recording, it will sound amazing. Good job!
-
-
-
Hello,
I thought these both had a great tone and pacing.
Everything was enunciated and clear.
I did notice a breath in your estee-lauder read, so I would suggest breathing more discreetly or finding a less noticeable time for a breath.
Also, I think you should loosen up more on the snapple read. It seems like it’s supposed to be a little comical and there are instances where you sound a bit stiff. -
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
