Feedback Forum
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Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!
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I have once again been instructed to upload a read per my coach’s instructions.
This one was focused on pronunciation, to avoid “squishing” words together, like “butwitha”, or reading “-or” sounds as “-er”, like “yerself” and “fer”.
That said… Heaven help me if re-recording that first line about remote mountain trails over and over again drew my attention away from my pitch, focusing so heavily as I was on not slurring “from a remote” as “frum uh ruhmote”, or going back after I accidentally said “yerself” again. Please, a second opinion would be most welcome.
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If your coach is telling you to focus on pronunciation, I’d listen to them. I’ll just add a couple of my own thoughts/opinions.
Firstly, pronunciation is important, but only to a point. Having perfect diction will not serve you if you’re trying to connect with a listener or have them believe what you’re saying. Nobody speaks perfectly, and so hearing someone with perfect diction subconsciously makes the listener disconnect from what is being said. If you’re speaking to someone from North America that hasn’t been raised in the upper echelons of society (most people), chances are that you’re going to hear them say “yer” and “fer”, not “your” and “for”. Focusing on pronouncing things correctly is important if you’re just starting out and don’t have control over how you are saying things. Once you have control, then you can start making intelligent decisions (based on the character) as to how refined your speech is going to be.
In the same way, pitch/timing is only important to a point. Focusing on pitch is helpful as a teaching tool, but not beyond that. Learning about pitch and timing teaches us to think about how we say things, and how different prosody patterns affect the meaning of what we’re saying. Once that is understood, however, pitch/timing becomes a stumbling block. I can promise you that Al Pacino doesn’t think about pitch when he’s acting. He’s thinking about the character- correction, he is BEING the character. That is his focus, and through that, his performance comes naturally.
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Hi All –
This is my first time posting for Feedback. I would really appreciate feedback on these recordings I did as a homework assignment for my coaching session. I’m looking specifically for creative feedback, specifically on diction (coach said I need to watch for the words “and” and “to”, and those ending in “t” and “d”), pacing (e.g., am I too fast?), and conversational tone.
I did notice on replay that I am pronouncing “to” as “tah”, which was feedback I got from my coach…gotta watch that.
Thanks all!
Jeff-
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Great Reads! I did notice the “to” as “tah” a couple of times, but it might have gotten by me if not mentioned. Some parts were fast but I was still able to follow what you were saying so IMO, it didn’t take away from the narration as there were beats where it felt like natural storytelling.
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Replying to my own…I thought it might help with feedback if I posted the scripts I used. Here goes:
Cosmic Narration
This is the story of a small planet-in-space called, Earth.
Today it has mighty oceans; scorched deserts; and frozen wildernesses.
It supports a multitude of diverse creatures, and is home to more than 6 billion people and their technological civilization.
But how did all this come about? Where do we come from?Annie E Casey
Every child deserves to grow up with opportunities to learn and thrive. With his skills, her talents, each is a potential leader, a contributor, a productive citizen. How kids grow up will determine their success as adults. But sadly, more than one in five children in America are growing up in poor families and poor neighborhoods, where the chance to thrive is anything but a given. The Annie E. Casey Foundation is dedicated to changing that.Kids Activity TV
Every day is an adventure with Activity TV. It’s the place to be for hundreds of Awesome activities in dozens of categories! – Cartooning to magic to cooking and more – ready for you day or night. This month learn some gross out magic. Watch closely as Ryan teaches you, to perform the severed finger trick!
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Hi All! I don’t have a treated set-up at the moment, but any feedback on the read is appreciated! Thanks.
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Ok, messed up on the format, but I think I got it right. My first round (part 3) of assignments, any and all advice is appreciated.
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Ok, messed up on the format, but I think I got it right. My first round (part 2) of assignments, any and all advice is appreciated.
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Hey everyone,
Submitting two more narration recordings from my second session. The first is a bio on Ben Franklin. The second is for medical narration. Looking to see how my diction, pace, and conversational tone comes through. Thanks all!
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Your diction is good. You do get hung up in a couple of places (on “to free patients to live better lives” and the pause between “for more than a decade” and “Acclerant”) but overall you’re solid.
You’ve got some serious plosives going on with your P’s so make sure that you’re recording slightly off-axis from the microphone to avoid those.
“Conversational” is something that I feel a lot of people (particularly people doing the hiring) don’t understand. “Conversational” means having a conversation. If I ask you “what’s in your living room?” you’re not going to give me a perfectly delivered pat answer. You’re going to have to think about it. You’re going to pause in weird places to breathe, skip commas, ignore periods, say “uh” and “um”, speed up and slow down depending on how fully formed your thoughts are. What you’re NOT going to say is “I’ve got a couch and a side table, as well as a rug and a coffee table. The TV sits on a black TV stand which sits to the left of the bay window.” People say conversational and think it means “casual”. As far as I’m concerned, those are two drastically different things. Casual means relaxed and not up-tight, conversational means you’re having a real conversation with someone.
I’m guessing when you say conversational you’re thinking “casual”. Casualness can be conveyed by speed (the faster the delivery, the more “casual” it will sound) and by letting your enunciation slide a bit (blending words together in some places, saying “tuh” instead of “too”, “what’d” instead of “what did”, “fer” instead of “for”.
The biggest thing however that I feel almost everyone misses (including myself) is connection with the listener. Unless a script is expressly written as a speech, the unspoken intent is that you’re having a dialogue with the listener. You aren’t monologuing. Throughout the script, the listener is asking you unspoken questions and you are answering them. At the start of the “Accelerant” script, the listener could be saying “Man, I’m sick and tired of this sinusitis. It’s ruining my sleep, and my performance at work is dropping. I’m literally losing my mind.” Or perhaps it’s an ENT doctor and they’re saying “I’ve got a bunch of patients that are struggling with sinusitis so if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.” Find the questions, the pleas for help, and answer them. Your reads will improve ten-fold if you can do this.
Keep it up!
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Wow. Observations to learn from, Will-Reierson!
Re: Acclerant
I’d agree on increased speed lending itself more to sounding more conversational. Otherwise, it can sound like reading a laundry list. Not simple with details and words as specific/precise as medical information can contain. (This is something I’m working on, myself.)
The inflection definitely adds warmth and is the strongest part of your medical read. Pleasant voice to listen to.
Otherwise, sound editing would really clean things up.
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