[David Goldberg]

Hi! Upload your recordings, and get feedback from your peers!

• This topic was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.
• This topic was modified 3 months ago by David Goldberg.

Topic

[Silver Wit]

Hello all! I have some recordings for my second commercial assignment that I’d love some feedback on. (part 3)

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[Hazaro]

The Tire spot sounded the best overall in tone, pacing and clarity. Very natural! (I think the disclaimer gets sped up if needed in post, though you can clearly do fast! LOL)
Really liked your tones for Crayola and Beringer. I would say just to be careful as some words sounded rushed rather than inflected, and then got lost. Tennessee Whiskey felt a bit disconnected – it’s anthem writing style not the most conversational to begin with. Maybe you can try responding to someone asking the question “But where are you born from?” to see if that might help the flow of it.

[Silver Wit]

Hello all! I have some recordings for my second commercial assignment that I’d love some feedback on. (Part 2)

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[Silver Wit]

Hello all! I have some recordings for my second commercial assignment that I’d love some feedback on.

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[ShellyMadison]

Howdy and hello!
This is my first time posting to the forum. I’m looking for any and all critiques and comments you have. I’m specifically working on my diction, especially endings of words, pace, and that ever important conversational tone. Recorded on phone voice memo app.

Thanks in advance!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by ShellyMadison.

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[latyesemca]

Documentary on Jazz sounded really smooth! The pacing for it was stable as well. I will say that the s’s were noticeable in the beginning but toned down throughout. Good job!

[RBenesVO]

I liked Bayer. You’ve got great diction and pronunciation. The pacing was also really good. The same items like breathes and plosives I mentioned earlier are there but overall I liked this read.

[RBenesVO]

Shelly, welcome to the forum! I’ll list out what I noticed. Volume sounds good, your voice is great, and I liked your drop off with “begins, here.” The others that stood out are a lot of plosives. I’m not sure if you are using a pop filter and/or how close you are to your mic but ~6″ is good and you can kinda talk over, under or to the side of the mic depending on which one you have and whether it’s inverted or not. I can also hear all your breathes distinctly. Sometime breathes are good but you can dial them down in editing for narration purposes so it’s less noticeable. I’m gonna look at your Bayer clip next.

[Kamasch]

Hi! Looking for feedback on this commercial clip. I’m focusing on sounding conversational and connected, but felt like I struggled with this one a bit. Any thoughts are appreciated!

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[cbehrens]

Great read! A thought I had would be to add in more of your perspective — what feeling would you imagine the listener experiencing related to this copy?

[latyesemca]

This was so nice to listen to! I will say, the sound was a bit low, so maybe it was the recording, or you were too far away from the mic? Either way, the pacing and infliction was convincing and made me want to hop on the website right then and there!

[RBenesVO]

I liked your read. Very clear voice, and pleasant to listen too. The volume was pretty low so I couldn’t listen for any smaller details without pulling it into my DAW. Are you normalizing your file to -3db? That’ll really help it stand out, and in a good way.

[Kamasch]

Thanks for the tip!! These were my first recordings, and I have a bit of a learning curve where the technical aspects are concerned. I’ll try normalizing the file next time.

[RonBroach]

Hi everyone! This is my first post here, so I’m hoping y’all can help me polish what I’ve started. I just had my first lesson with a vocal coach and he suggested I post here for feedback. I look forward to hearing from you.

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[ShellyMadison]

You’ve chosen quite the challenging read vocabulary wise! Your pace is great for this and your tone gives it the gravitas of a professor. Your enunciation, although important, especially for a sample with so much crucial vernacular, is making you sound stilted and robot like. Words like “summarize” and “development”, you’re hitting each of the syllables very hard and often with the same weight, so the word is very clear but unnatural. Seems like a great place to start to familiarize yourself with it, then slowly work in a more conversational and natural affect as you get more comfortable with the material.

[LindsayCampbell]

Hello friends!
Been a while since I’ve posted. Just beginning Commercial coaching.
Open to any feedback- thanks in advance!

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[RBenesVO]

Welcome back. I can hear the training in your read and editing. I listened to the Arby’s and I liked it a lot. I’ll nitpick that Arby’s at the end felt like an afterthought as it was quick and soft. Maybe that’s because I’m envisioning the whole “ARBY’s, WE HAVE THE MEATS!” in my head lol

[Silver Wit]

I enjoyed your Tilex read, but I feel like you could’ve added a bit more annoyance or disgust in the beginning. The mildew is GROSS and I think a little emphasis on that would help.

[ShellyMadison]

I listened to the first two. I love how bright your tone is. For the Arby’s read, only thing that stood out was “high”. Sounded like a southern lilt crept into it that wouldn’t necessarily be inappropriate for the ad, but contrasted with the rest of your read.

For the Beringer ad, your pace and lower affect are lovely. I can picture the overlay of red wine being poured into a glass. I’d suggest giving more attention to the first time you say “beringer”. It gets lost in the rest of the sentence and being the brand name, and especially being the first time it’s mentioned, it should stand out more

[twstark]

Hi gang – couple new reads from me in the commercial genre. Thanks!

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[Silver Wit]

No notes I can think of. Voice very warm with a dash of wisdom. I could feel the emotion from you in both of your reads.

[RBenesVO]

Great and unique voice. You can find plenty of need for that gift I’m sure. I listened to Listerine and liked that read especially where you say “See!, you can handle it”. That was where the emotion came out in the read for me.

[RCampos]

Hi Everyone,
Would love your feedback on my pace and tone in this first VO, recorded on my cell phone.

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[raven808]

Nice touch adding music and your voice is very well suited for this genre! I felt like you could put a little more emotion or change your intonation for some of the words to keep the engagement (i.e.”he wasn’t fond of rules or having respect for the status quo”).

[RCampos]

Thanks so much for the helpful notes! I’ll work on the emotion / engagement. Appreciate your feedback.

[Kamasch]

Beginner here – after one coaching session, I’ve been focusing on sounding conversational and connected; will accept any sort of feedback. I’m aware there’s some background noise/subpar audio, but this is just practice for now! Thanks!

[Kamasch]

replying on my own thread since it wouldn’t let me edit – had some upload issues

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[Silver Wit]

I could really feel the emotion for your Betterhelp read. though I think you should speak a little louder on your Pillsbury read or get a little closer to your mic.

[RCampos]

I think you are spot on in the delivery for Betterhelp. You capture the tone and the seriousness of the issue. You sound very conversational in all the above. I do think Pillsbury could be a touch more upbeat.

[Author]

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