Feedback Forum
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Any feedback is always appreciated. Thanks!
Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch Whiskey
The quickest thing we accomplish takes 12 years. It takes at least that long for our handcrafted oak casks to work their magic on our single malt, slowly surrendering their flavor to create our smooth, superbly balanced, rich, oaky Special Reserve. Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch Whisky. Family owned and dominated since 1887. 40% alcohol by volume. Imported by William Grant & Sons, New York. Our family reminds you, enjoy this whisky responsibly.-
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Hi Robert! Great read–your voice IS ideal for a nice smokey whisky. I heard the pause after ‘to work their magic’ too, and maybe after oak casks. But I like how you sped up the reading ever so slightly on the two sentences toward the end–40% and Imported by. Maybe extend your pause ever so slightly after …New York, in order to separate your final sentence a tiny bit more. Love that voice!
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Hi Robert, Wow! Your voice was truly “distilled” for this brand! Your read is very rich, full-bodied, and inviting. If I had any tiny nit-picks (and they are just that—-tiny), this passage: “It takes at least that long for our handcrafted oak casks to work their magic on our single malt,” seems a touch problematic to my ear. I almost feel you pausing a millisecond to navigate “handcrafted oak casts” and then it sounds strange to my ear for you to go up in tone on “malt” (it’s like you’re treating the following comma as a period). Again, super nit-picky comments for a very polished read!
Well done!
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Continued practice! Thanks for all of the comments on previous posts- all comments are welcome, especially those focused on performance. Thanks!
Swift River Bank
When you bank at Swift River Bank you’re a friend and a client. With over 80 years experience, our trained staff is here to assist you with all of your financial needs. From deposit accounts, to auto and personal loans, up to commercial business loans. We provide sound knowledge and a solid background. Consultations are always free, with 24 hour customer service. Swift River Bank. Lending a helping hand since 1930. Member FDIC.
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Hi CYeschenko, very good! “..our trained staff…” sounded like “…our trained-a staff…”, I understand you were trying to enunciate everything and everything was very well done on that end, but maybe just a little more smoothing between “trained” and “staff” would sound a little bit more natural. Also “…and a solid background.” did not sounds like a statement, but more like it ended with a comma, which made it sound less certain. I’m being nitpicky but this is really good!
Mary
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CYeschenko, this is a great read! If I could nitpick (as I must if I am to find ANY flaws), maybe extend your pauses between periods for an extra millisecond, as some of the sentences seem to run in to each other. Example…the pauses between “…client. With…” and “…service. Swift…” are perfect. However, “…needs. From…” and “…loans. We…” have transitions that sound more like a comma with a louder breath. You may have planned it that way for timing, and it is VERY subtle. I LOVE how you read Member FDIC slightly faster, as I remember banks always doing in the ads in the past! I also think this is an ideal genre for your voice–very trusting, down to earth, and neighborly.
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Hello CYeschenko, Great performance! Your read has all the trustworthiness and authority one would expect of a bank while at the same time seamlessly adding the key human element of being warm and inviting. Very crisp and clear read, perhaps a touch clipped here and there for diction (as apposed to being a bit more relaxed), but still a performance very germane to the brand.
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Hey everyone,
a little more practice. Any and all feedback (eg; technical or performance) is welcome. Thanks!===
Everybody can use a little help when they’re out on the road- and that’s where MailBoxes Etcetera comes in. We get it done, and we get it done right. Mailboxes Etcetera.
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Meet the Mazda CX-9. Room for seven. Sophisticated. And thoughtfully engineered by a team of gearheads and car fanatics who only build SUVs worth driving.
We build Mazdas.
What do you drive?
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They never told me what to expect. I never realized how delicate her skin would be, but the hospitals did — they put her in PAMPERS. They’ve got this lock-away core that holds wetness away and keeps it away, to help keep her skin dry. No regular diapers protect her better or keep her happier, which makes me happy, too.-
Hi Amitofu! Excellent work! Very clear, crisp delivery for all three scripts. In the second script I liked the emphasis on “…who only…” which really helped focus on the differentiation of why someone should drive a Mazda (therefore helping to sell the product). I like how you varied the tone on the third script to give a sensitive feel, really good work for all three!
Mary
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Amitofu, I love your voice for these readings! Especially the Mailboxes one…the short reads are just ideal for your super cool voice. One thing on Mailboxes, check your pronunciation of Etcetera. The first time it sounds like Ex-cetra, the second is different…Ex-cedra (with the d sound). You may need an extra syllable in there for pronunciation: Et-cet-er-a. Check how he says it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISdl4DmCJZk
The Mazda read is great (I just got a CX-5 last month!). And the Pampers read was great too–You sounded very genuine in your care/concern for your loved one–I imagine you were thinking about if one of your own parents was currently in this situation. Great read–perhaps skip the pause after the word “which” at the end. I want to keep listening to you! -
Hi Amitofu! You have an amazing aural grit to your voice and I feel the scripts you picked suit it well—-especially the quick, clipped tempo of Mailboxes Etc. and Mazda. Surprisingly (and I mean that as a compliment), your gruff timbre also works as a counterpoint for the “softness” of the Pampers spot giving the script a heartfelt gravitas where it might have just as easily come off as syrupy or insincere.
Keep up the great work!
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Hello all! Here are 2 scripts for any and all feedback. One is for Sam Adams, and one is a poem by Donna Ashworth. Having fun choosing background music. Let me know how they sound – thank you!
Mary
Sam Adams Beer
No matter how hard you try, you can not twist off the bottle cap of a Sam Adams. All that Sam Adams flavor is locked beneath a twenty one crimp bottle cap. So you’ll need a bottle cap opener to get at it…at the very least. Sam Adams, a better glass of beer.Poem by Donna Ashworth
“Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humor though, will only get better.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritize the uniqueness that makes you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.”-
Hi Mary!
Sam Adams read was nice. I liked the guitar in the background and the chuckle about the bottle cap. The audio might sound a little muffled, though that may be my hearing. I think this script was used for one of the monthly script-reading contests here at Edge. For some reason I had trouble making a smooth read of this one.On the poem I think the mix of your voice and music was really good. Be careful with some of your words, you are using a lot of “yer” for “your” and you said “fined-tuned” instead of “fine-tuned”. Watch out for glottals. Still, great voice that a listener can relate to.
Don/docr15
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Hi Don, thanks for the feedback! On the Sam Adams read, I read it previously a month or so ago and struggled a bit. It was a little easier this time for some reason, I just decided to totally relax and have fun with it, and it sounded better as a result.
Yes, the “fine-tuned” was not right, in a previous version I left out the “to” after fine-tuned and over compensated on fine-tuned as a result. I will work on that as well as the “yer”s, of which there are many in this script – my accent is coming through for sure on that! Thank you,
Mary
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Hi Mary! I think the Sam Adams read is your finest work yet! It’s the most natural-sounding, smoothly delivered, just-talking-to-me performance I’ve heard from your submissions. The only thing I would change is actually the chuckle–it didn’t seem necessary, as the words themselves will pull a chuckle out of the listener. Such a great read!!
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Hi Mitch, thanks for your feedback! I’m glad you liked Sam Adams – I’m a true fan of all their beers. 🙂 I did record that one a few weeks ago and decided this time to just not take it so seriously. The chuckle was just part of having fun with it, and is something I could see myself speculating about it with a friend, Thanks for your comments! I’m working to sound more natural, so I’m happy to hear that. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi Mary! Wow! I can tell you’ve really been putting in the time to perfect your reads—-lovely stuff!
SAM ADAMS – Love the “laugh” delivery at :07, really cements your natural, folksy demeanor. Definitely hear the “smile” in your voice at the end as well. One thought: you might look at your pronunciation of “fl” in “flavor” (:10)-—it sounds a touch muddy to my ear.
POEM – Lovely music choice, again it complements the inviting quality of your voice. Another clear, inviting performance. (I agree with others that at :17 it sounds as if you’re saying “find tuned” rather than “fine tuned”.)
Again, really well done!
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Thanks for the feedback Rogue1! I was having fun with this one, and I’m glad it sounded authentic and that I was smiling, which I definitely was. I tried a few music choices, but the laid back guitar track worked the best (I also had a harmonica and ska version, which were not right). I will check out the “flavor” and see if that can be sharpened a bit.
On the poem, yes “fine-tuned” did sound like “find tuned” – totally not right but something I think I would not miss the next time I worked on recording, that part needs to flow better. Thanks again!
Mary
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Hi all! Here’s my first attempt at trying an app voice over. Any comments about technique are welcome!
Script:
Welcome to the 2021 TLX app, designed exclusively for TLX owners. This app lets you custom build and order your own TLX, by letting you select either the 2.0-liter turbo-four or the turbocharged 3.0-liter V6, as well as wheels, colors, and options. Hit “build my TLX” when you’re ready to begin.-
Hi Kevin. Great work! Very clear and crisp navigation of a rather complex script! If I had any constructive nit-picks, I might revisit “either the” in the second paragraph (at :16) as the two words seem to run together. As you have the read down cold, maybe try a version where you continue to amp up your energy. Technically, there’s a hollow-sounding quality to your recording (like you’re down in a vault), might try some sort of insulation to better focus the sound.
Great job! Keep it up!
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Hi Kevin – very good! Very clear delivery! I also heard “either the” blur together a bit, but all else sounded nice and crisp. It’s somewhat of a tongue twister there, so I would suggest emphasizing “either” and then not emphasizing “the”, which may help some. I hear a bit of echo in the recording, but that can be fixed with more insulation as per Rougue1. Good job!
Mary
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Hello again! Here are two different reads to be evaluated separately. I’m continuing to work on technique and sounding natural. Thanks for any and all feedback! -Mitch
One: Come away with us on a journey to more fascinating destinations than you could ever encounter any other way. Sail the legendary waterways into the heart of the world’s greatest cities with Viking River Cruises. Elegant. Stylish. Exceptionally Comfortable. Spend less time getting there and more time being there.
Two: Put this card in the hands of a child and there’ll be no room for a gun. A needle. Or a knife. It’s only a piece of paper, but that little membership card has helped keep millions of kids off drugs, out of gangs and in school. To learn how you can help the Boys & Girls Clubs, call 1-800-854-Club. Boys & Girls Clubs of America. Great Futures start here.-
Hi Mitch! Great pair of reads—-very crisp and clear and definitely sounding quite natural to my ear. I’m always a fan of making things sound as conversational as possible (and strive to do so, myself) and I feel you’re making massive strides in perfecting that. Technically, I am hearing a touch of a hollow echo to your record. Maybe a little insulation around your recording space might help alleviate that?
Well done, sir! Keep up the great work!
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Hi Mitch, good delivery! I’ve been on a Viking cruise and they really are fantastic! Both reads were good, very clear, welcoming and with good pacing.
On the second read, I liked how you emphasized “in school”. There are a lot of periods and commas in this short read, which makes it tough to not sound choppy. I think you could speed up the overall pace just a tiny bit more and still get the emphasis you want Good job!!
Mary
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Hello, everyone! Another pair of raw, at-home reads. Trying to work on my energy and self-directing to vary my performance as I find I often fall into the groove of one approach to a script and want to be more flexible.
As always, all comments are welcomed. Thanks for taking the time to listen!
KENNEDY SPACE CENTER
Look at us, heads down, our noses pressed against tiny little screens constantly searching for the next big thing. The next big thing isn’t happening in the palm of your hand, it’s happening above you –far above you. Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it. The Kennedy Space Center. Look up!
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I like your tone. It’s playful, easy-going, a bit quirky at times. Someone you could have a few good laughs with.
The two reads had some nice variations in it. “tiny little screens” made me smile. Still, they were variations of the same theme, a sort of mocking tone. I’d encourage you to play with other attitudes. For instance, this feels directed towards youth. Try an encouraging tone. I think a good avatar for your voice is Owen Wilson. How would he say this to a couple of kids starring at their phone. Jake Johnson is another good avatar.
What other variations can you come up with? Basically, come up with different answers for: Who are you talking to? How are you going to convince them to come the the KSC?
One interpretation note. I’d honor the copywriter’s ellipses in “Come to where the most amazing things on earth… soar high above it” and add a pause. It’s a play on contradictions: “on earth” and “high above it”.
Thanks for sharing your work. If you come up with more variations, I’d love to hear them.
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Hi Tom! Thank you for your thoughtful insights and input.
Owen Wilson and Jake Johnson are great suggestions for avatars (especially as I’m a fan of both performers). Very good point on honing into precisely who I’m talking to–definitely would change my approach for a younger audience verses a jaded, more adult audience (or even a jaded younger audience!)
Agree with you and Mary that I steamrolled that ellipse and will definitely pay attention to that for future takes…stay tuned!
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Hi Rogue1, Really good! I like both of these reads, but prefer the second read by just a bit due to the variation in tones and the slightly increased energy levels. Both sounded really conversational and approachable and had nice bits in them. I did not hear a pause at all for “things on earth… soar..” at the triple periods, I think you could really lean into that pause for dramatic effect and really punch up “soar high above it!!!!” Overall really nice work!
Mary
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Hey everyone, I am working on a couple of scripts I am considering for a commercial demo. The Colorado read is two takes. The second script is for Zquill. I welcome any feedback.
Ed-
Hello Ed, Great reads! Your voice has a very rich, inviting timbre and I feel your choice of scripts complement it well.
COLORADO – Like the aspirational, dreamlike approach to your reads. If I had any minor nitpicks, your “wanted” in “You didn’t know you wanted” in your first read seems to drop out to a whisper (:03). You also might snip out your breath intake at (:11) on both. The reads sound similar to me though I do feel more energy in the second take.
ZQUILL – Another great read, very well-suited to the product. Might add more of a pause between “…like a baby” and “like a bear” (right now it sounds like you’re almost saying “Like a baby bear” instead of letting both visual images you’re conjuring hang in their own space).
Well done! Keep up the great work!
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Hi folks. Here’s a promo spot I’ve recorded. Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Ancient Mysteries
Be it endless fascination with the Bible, or chilling tales of Gothic horror, man has been compelled by the wonders of the unknown since the beginning of time. From the possible existence of Big Foot to the grips of a mummy’s curse. Uncover the truth behind “Ancient Mysteries” tonight on Channel 4 … NBC. -
Hi again! Here’s something else – an audiobook excerpt I recorded. It’s non-fiction – a memoir of the great 20th century philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, by his friend and colleague, Norman Malcolm. It’s a bit long, so listen only as far as you’re interested. All feedback appreciated, as always. Thanks folks!
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