Feedback Forum

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  • #15468
    David Goldberg
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

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  • #80528
    Cheechman
    Participant

    Practice read,, lease comment

    I liked #2

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    • #80573
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Concur with Grace17. You have a nice conversational tone which is hard to find naturally. It doesn’t sound forced. I also agree with Grace on not upticking so much on the syllables but changing the pitch for each item listed instead. If you can be believable you’re ahead of the vast majority of people out there!

      • #80603
        Cheechman
        Participant

        Thank to both of you.
        You are absolutely spot on, i know to change the pitch, apparently i wasn’t thinking!

    • #80547
      Grace17
      Participant

      #1 sounds very conversational but I think up-ticking the last syllables of each phrase in the list(ex: expertise, technology, counseling, nutrition) removes from the confidence of the read and makes it sound too casual in my opinion.

      In #2 you sound more confident in your list of items, but I would advise you to explore listing them without elevating the last syllables, as i mentioned above. I also advise exploring varying the pitch on each item, just to explore other ways of listing the items.

      I really liked how down-to-earth and conversational this read was. Your read is believable and you don’t try too hard.

  • #80515
    Wltrcurtis
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I’m looking to get feedback on a narration read. All feedback is welcome. Thanks in advance

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    • #80542
      jliebert
      Participant

      Great voice and I like the tone overall. I would slow down the pace a bit, as it is a little hard to follow and sounds rushed. Also, echoing feedback I just got from my coach, it sounds a little choppy. Be mindful of longer-than-needed pauses in the middle of a phrase (for example after “too much time…”).

      In the sentence “Due to the nature…”, I would hit more words to emphasize meaning and clarity.
      I would hit: “nature”, “frequently”, “split up”, “scattering”, and “legwork”.

      I liked the following part, albeit a little slower, and slightly less pause after “moving”: “Pacing is critical for keeping your players interested. Keep the game’s pace moving smoothly using these tips”

      Just my 2 cents. Best of luck!

      Jeff

  • #80509
    adarn010
    Participant

    Greetings All,

    Pleasure to make your acquaintances. Currently going through the training program and was hoping to get some feedback on these two recordings. One is Narration Corporate while the second is Narration Documentary. Thanks.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by adarn010.
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    • #80537
      Dexterius
      Participant

      First of all, I want to start out by saying that I thought that both of your readings were very good. Now I’m going to knitpick just a little bit. The first reading that are a couple of places where, at the end of your phrase, you went up instead of down. I have been told that, unless there’s a specific reason for going up at the end of a phrase, the natural tendency is to go down. The word ‘mind’ in the phrase keep this in mind and the word ‘you’ in the phrase keep this card with you. In the second reading I would put a little more emphasis on the word ‘and” just before the phrase about marijuana growers. Also, in my opinion, the phrase ‘heart and soul’ show be read together (the word heart has a bit of a space between it and the rest of the phrase). Otherwise, you did a good job! I could just hear some kind of nature background music playing when I listened to the second one. Hope this helps!

      • #81200
        adarn010
        Participant

        Thanks for your feedback, Dex. The tendency to go up instead of down at the end of a phrase has been also noted by my coaches soon after you posted this.I appreciate you taking the time to listen to my samples and providing me with your observations. Best of luck!

  • #80497
    RBenesVO
    Participant

    Good Afternoon,

    I’ve got one session left before I record my commercial demo and looking for final feedbacks please. Inflections, pitch, pacing. Thanks as always! Ryan

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    • #80538
      Dexterius
      Participant

      Just a quick note about the middle two demos. My wife and I both agree that there are two things about these: 1) You tend to be ‘singsongy’ and 2) You need to flow a little better. some spacing is fine, but it seemed to us kind of choppy. The first one was okay (a little singsongy, but I think it works with the demo). But the last one was beautiful! Hope this helps!!

      • #80572
        RBenesVO
        Participant

        Many thanks, I’ll take a deeper look at that. Whenever you start chopping down scripts to make the time requirements for a demo it seems to get a choppy. I hadn’t fully recognized it in mine till you pointed it out.

    • #80533
      Cheechman
      Participant

      WOW…you have a greeaattt voice!
      I though all were spot on, great pacing and emotion in the reads.

  • #80489
    Dexterius
    Participant

    Hey Folks. Here is some homework for my next coaching session. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank You! I went easy on the Irish accent on the second one. I did a recording with my normal voice, but my wife liked this one better.

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    • #80505
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Dexterius, I listened to both and you got a smile out of me with the fairies one! Accent came across well and I liked the delivery. The Jack Daniels had correct inflections are the right points. I think your audio may need a little work but that comes with time, equipment, and sound treatments, and you pry aren’t as worried about it on the forum as you would be with auditioning. Nice work.

  • #80470
    Madhatr673110
    Participant

    Hey Folks. Here is some homework for my next coaching session. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank You!

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    • #80492
      Dexterius
      Participant

      Here are my thoughts on your performances:
      Sandals: I think that there are two main issues 1) you need to speed it up just a little bit, and 2) I agree with Michael that the ‘wry smile’ mentality needs to be throughout your performance. I did like the smoothness of it, though.
      Harvey Home Theatre: In this one, you need to bring down the tone to your normal register (too high), and I would recommend a slightly sarcastic attitude throughout this script. The script, in my opinion, lends itself to this kind of attitude. It will also make the reading more entertaining. Hope this helps!!!

    • #80476
      jliebert
      Participant

      “Harvey Home Theater”. For your tone and pitch, think about the message you are delivering which is that electronics systems are typically so complicated that someone as sophisticated as a doctor can’t operate them, but here’s one simple enough for anyone to operate”. Your delivery sounds a bit unnatural, like maybe you are pushing your voice into a higher register. Try to imagine explaining this to an individual, like a friend.

      “Sandals”: I like this one better. Again, try to imagine telling this to a friend, particularly in the first sentence, to add more naturalness. I agree with Michael above that “everything else is included” was my favorite part.

      Hope this helps, and I should mention that I am not a coach, just someone like you learning, so take my feedback accordingly :).

      Jeff

    • #80473
      michaelflemingvoice
      Participant

      What up, my dude. Listening to both, here are my recommendations. Take em or leave em 🙂

      Sandals: Delivery is too slow. Pick up the pace a bit, and I think you’ll hit the sweet spot with the relaxed feel you’re trying to convey. The line “Because everything else is included” was your best moment on this one. I heard the wry smile coming through. Try to do that throughout.

      Harvey Home Theatre: A few good moments on this one. I feel you might be trying too hard to be cool when you end your sentences on this one. Again, speed of delivery. Start is a little slow and then there’s some back and forth. “…he can even operate his…” is the meter and tone you want throughout. If you can match that everywhere, I think we’ve got a winner.

      In general, relax. Be aware of how each sentence is ending the same and try to change it up a bit. When I started out, I sounded like I was trying too hard to act. I’m still having to overcome that at times, but the faster you can get your mind around imagining talking to a person and keeping their attention, the better this will click.

      Keep up the good work!

  • #80466
    jliebert
    Participant

    Hi All –
    I’d greatly appreciate some feedback on the attached recordings. I didn’t use a pro mic, so just technique comments please. Specifically, I worked on pacing, and “flow” (painting a picture, finding “beats” in the script, ensuring it has a beginning/middle/end). Feedback on those aspects are particularly welcome, although any feedback is great!

    Here is the copy I used:

    Real Estate Educational Explainer:
    Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

    Cosmos Documentary:
    Welcome to the planet earth. A place of blue nitrogen skies, oceans of liquid water, cool forests, soft meadows; A world positively rippling with life. From the cosmic perspective, it is, for the moment, unique. The only world on which we know with certainty that the matter of the cosmos has become alive, and aware. There must be many such worlds scattered through space, but our search for them begins here, with the accumulated wisdom of the men and women of our species, acquired at great cost, over a million years.

    Biogenetic Law:
    Commonly summarized as “ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny” (on-TA-jeh-nee re-cah-PIT-you-lates fill-AH-jeh-nee), biogenetic law posits that the embryonic stages in the development of an individual (its ontogeny) repeat the evolutionary history of its ancestors (its phylogeny). A corollary of the biogenetic law is the idea that new evolutionary features are typically added at the end of development, with formerly adult, or “terminal” stages gradually being compressed into progressively earlier stages (or sometimes being eliminated outright).

    Thanks so much!
    Jeff

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    • #80506
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Jeff, I listened to Cosmos as that’s one of my favorite scripts. I’ll try and touch the feedback you requested. I think you found the flow and the beats. I would look at changing up the inflection in “at the moment, unique”. Moment ends on an up, and then go flat to slightly up with unique. May try and down inflection with moment, then end it higher with unique. There are also larger spaces in time than are pry necessary when describing the cosmos. You may be thinking of images being played, but without being able to see that they seem to far apart. Overall, I like the tone, pitch, pacing.

  • #80451
    twstark
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    Something just for fun here – LOTR Opening Monologue. I have no business performing such an auspicious read, and it’s not my best editing. But it was a giggle just the same. 🙂

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    • #80507
      RBenesVO
      Participant

      Really nice. I’ve listened to some of you scripts before and they are well delivered. You can be nit picked at this point, so the “seven” to the dwarf lords seemed like it should be a different pitch or inflection as when I heard “and nine” that one hit perfectly. Not saying they all need to be the same of course, but seven just came up a little flat. I’d thought to do this read in the past and didn’t as it’s such an auspicious read as you said but you pulled it off well! -Ryan

    • #80493
      Dexterius
      Participant

      THAT WAS ABOLUTELY AMAZING! This pacing was especially effective and sent chills up my spine!!! I agree that you should get paid for this!

    • #80477
      jliebert
      Participant

      Wonderful!

    • #80457
      atperry
      Participant

      I absolutely love it. The read was smooth, the music was spot on. By the way where did you get the music from. Royalty free? You should be getting paid. keep on keeping on !!!

  • #80447
    Benn Pharr IV
    Participant

    Hello all! I’ve attached a couple readings from my homework assignment. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

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    • #80531
      Cheechman
      Participant

      Needs some “umph”, as in more hiliting the main info/client.
      Great read and voice.

    • #80503
      jliebert
      Participant

      First I want to co-sign the last comment. You have a beautiful voice. Now you just need to nail the “acting” part of it so it.

      My 2 cents: Read the copy and really grasp the meaning of each sentence. Then do the imagery exercise @atperry mentioned (or make one up that resonates with you better if you want). Then do the reading picturing you are talking to that brother, sister, friend, or whomever you choose to imagine.

    • #80458
      atperry
      Participant

      Oh man you’ve got a great sounding, resonate voice. Warm, articulate and your studio sounds great. My critique is that this is a great read, but it sounds like a reading. I think the author wants you to be more expressive, not louder, maybe a little quieter. Close your eyes and imagine sitting on a porch andyour little brother or sis or child you care about deeply just lost a sports game. Yo bro instill afeeling inthem that there are going to be great. good luck

  • #80443
    Bil-Bo
    Participant

    Trying a character voice

    Lindsay Olives
    My son, the olive, gives me such a pain! All I‘ve wanted was the best for him. To be a Lindsay olive, a perfect olive!
    But would he listen to me? Noooo! He’s gotta act like a big shot all the time. Like when I told him “Hershey, stay in the sun, the sun is wonderful for you!” Would he listen? No!
    Like when I caught him hangin’ around with a bad bunch of olives…I said: “Hershey, get away from them, you don’t need them, you’re a good olive!”
    Do you think he listened to me? No!
    So when the Lindsay pickers came, I said: “Yoo hoo, yoo hoo, Mister Lindsay picker! Pick over there my son, the big shot.”
    Did they pick him? Nooo! They don’t want big shots. If he’d listened to me, by now he could have been a Lindsay olive!

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    • #80459
      atperry
      Participant

      totally marketable ! would add a shorter version to your demo. Just like Nike, just do it !!!

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