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  • #15468
    Edge Studio
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Edge Studio.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Andrew Warner.
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  • #65818
    JohnFinn
    Participant

    Hey peeps, a few more Edge practice scripts for feedback. Looking for feedback on tone- did it match the genre and what about pace? Thanks!

    1. A Brief History of Time- Expanded
    2. Anne E Casey Foundation
    3. Podium 60

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    • #65857
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      My comments on each performance are numbered accordingly:
      1. You’re on the right track. You’ve got a great voice and your read had fitting pitch and tempo for the script. The serious tone you adopted was good too although it sounds more like you’re reading than speaking. Next time, try to imagine you’re speaking to someone in front of you or maybe beside.
      2. You’re pitch and tempo are still good, though I think the pauses were too long. The tone needs work, you don’t sound particularly interested in or even concerned with the Anne E Casey foundation.
      3. You still don’t sound too interested, but halfway you seem to pick up the tone well. Your tempo and pitch are still really good, but the list components wound up rather bland. You should work on making each part of the list uniqe in some way so the listeners won’t get bored.

      I think your tone is spot on for narration, but could suit plenty of commercials too. Just remember to make your reads sound conversational.

      • #65887
        JohnFinn
        Participant

        Tim- thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

  • #65806
    carynbell
    Participant

    Hey all!

    Just an amateur trying to get in some practice and figure out my niches! Feedback is always appreciated! (The file got posted twice by accident).

    WORDS. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING.
    THEY CAN CALL IN A DOG AT NIGHT.
    THEY CAN BRING COMFORT TO AN OLD FRIEND.
    THEY CAN SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A GIRL WHOSE BALLOONS ARE SLOWLY SINKING.

    BUT SOMETIMES, WORDS CAN GET YOU INTO TROUBLE.

    LIKE THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVIST WHO WAS KIDNAPPED FOR STANDING UP TO GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION.
    OR THE JOURNALIST SENTENCED TO 10 YEARS IN PRISON FOR SENDING AN EMAIL.
    OR THE 1000S OF MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE ARRESTED AND TORTURED, JUST FOR DEMANDING A FAIR ELECTION.

    NOW, WE NEED YOUR WORDS,
    TO DEMAND JUSTICE, TO TAKE A STAND, AND TO OFFER HOPE TO PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD, WHO ARE SILENCED FOR SIMPLY SPEAKING THEIR MINDS.

    WRITE A LETTER OR SPEAK OUT TODAY.
    YOUR WORDS CAN LEAD TO THEIR FREEDOM.

    WORDS. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING.

    • This reply was modified 8 months ago by carynbell.
    • This reply was modified 8 months ago by carynbell.
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    • #65827
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Pleasant voice, important subject matter (just my opinion, though). I would put a bit more emotion in the end. There is quite a bit of an echo in the recording. Sounds like the space does not have enough sound abatement, not sure.

    • #65816
      adriannagregory11
      Participant

      WOW this is incredible. I love love love your tone, and can hear in your voice the emotion and passion building with each example. Only suggestion, for the final phrase of “Words, they can do anything”–maybe draw this out, and stress/elongate certain parts to get the final point across. Your voice is awesome! Also an amateur, so I feel ya 🙂

  • #65801
    Erik B
    Participant

    Hello everybody, below are three Narration reads. Please feel free to provide feedback on performance and recording quality for any or all of the reads. Thank you.

    NetJets 24 Hour Worldwide Medical Assistance

    At NetJets, our care for our Owners means not only flying them halfway around the world in the safest way possible, but also getting them the help they need should a medical emergency arise far from home. That’s why we collaborated with Mayo clinic to develop Mayo Clinic Executive Travel Response. As an owner, you’ll receive a dedicated phone number to reach Mayo Clinic medical professionals 24 hours a day, for any medical reason. Whether you need critical care in Eastern Europe and don’t know where to turn, or just want medical advice from a trusted source closer to home, someone is always there for you.

    Cats

    They are hunters, with muscles taut, and eyes fixed on their intended prey. They are gentle, with fluid movement and a sensitive touch. They are regal, with a lineage that goes back to worshiped ancestors during the time of the Pharaohs. They are introspective, aloof, unpredictable, affectionate, comical and mischievous. They are cats.

    Bob Ross Biography

    Bob Ross. Just his name brings a calm. The soft-spoken painter who didn’t make mistakes, only “happy accidents,” painted on PBS stations in the 1980s and 1990s. His untimely death in 1995 at the age of 52 occurred just when he was exploding on the pop culture scene. He even appeared in a hip MTV spot back when MTV was hip. “MTV, the land of happy little trees.” There’s a lot people don’t know about Bob Ross, so get ready for some surprises about the guy with the sweet pipes and sweeter ‘fro.

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    • #65828
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Sound quality is top notch. You need to put a bit more feeling in the reads. For example, with the last sentence in NetJets, you just read about Eastern Europe, but it’s an example of being in hutz-pluz, and you feel out of touch. You need to read it like the listener is on the Moon, or something uber far out like that, and then contrast it with the end of the sentence. Also with Bob Ross, you need to really convey that this guy had a really sweet voice (pipes), and a really cool hair-do. You’ve got to be Bob Ross’ No.1 fan.

  • #65789
    adriannagregory11
    Participant

    I am 100% an amateur, and I don’t have the proper mic, but have to start somewhere 🙂

    Any feedback is great!
    Script:
    During this breathing meditation, you will focus on your breath. This will calm your mind and relax your body. There is no right or wrong way to meditate. Whatever you experience during this breathing meditation is right for you. Begin by finding a comfortable position, sitting on the floor with your legs crossed is a good position to try. Close your eyes or focus on one spot in the room. Roll your shoulders slowly forward and then slowly back. Lean your head from side to side, lowering your left ear toward your left shoulder, and then your right ear toward your right shoulder. Your body will continue to relax as you meditate. Notice how your breath flows in and out. Make no effort to change your breathing in any way, simply notice how your body breathes. Sit quietly, seeing in your mind’s eye your breath flowing gently in and out of your body.

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    • #65862
      TimDKietzman
      Participant

      You have a fantastic voice for instructional videos and a great sound set up. Your read had a soothing tone that would trust with this type of read and the words you hit were just right. Your tempo however is a little too slow and you made the pauses too long. What’s more, I heard you paused in the middle of sentence 2. Pauses must be left for periods and commas, usually for no more than half a second.

    • #65826
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Sound quality is excellent. Pleasant, attractive voice. I’m drawn to it. It sounded a bit like a hypnosis, though. Also, after a while, it sounded like you were reading the words, instead of conveying meaning. This *could* be fixed if you work on the continuity, that is, the flow.

    • #65800
      Erik B
      Participant

      Hi Adrrianna, I really liked your read. Your tone and pace were great. Also the recording quality sounded solid. The only critique I have is the giggle in the third sentence. The listener might be somebody who is new to meditation, and may be thrown off by a giggle. But overall good job.

      • #65815
        adriannagregory11
        Participant

        Wow thank you! Haha that is really good feedback about the giggle :), I agree with you!

  • #65777
    Shmuel
    Participant

    Commercial: I chose this one because the subject matter – insurance – sounds like the definition of boring. So, I took it as a challenge to make it sound good. Here is the text I used:

    We’ve all been there
    All of a sudden, your “check engine” light comes on
    Insurance covers your vehicle from accidents,
    But did you know it doesn’t cover expensive breakdowns?
    If your manufacturer’s warranty is expired or is about to run out,
    You’ll be on the hook for unexpected repairs
    Breakdowns used to mean paying thousands out of pocket … until now
    No matter how miles your car has, if it’s under 20 years old, Endurance has you covered.
    With Endurance’s protection, if you break down, just choose the local repair shop you trust.
    Endurance pays them directly. No complicated paperwork, no checks in the mail. Endurance takes care of all of it for you.
    Your plan even covers 24/7 roadside assistance: Endurance jumps your battery, tows, delivers gas, changes a flat, unlocks your car, and more!
    Endurance is the No.1 trusted expert in vehicle protection
    We offer affordable down payments, low monthly plans, flexible terms, and a money-back guarantee
    Call now, and we’ll upgrade you to an Endurance Elite Membership free!
    Call 800-370-3827 for a free price quote. That’s 800-370-3827

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    • #65805
      carynbell
      Participant

      Hi!

      You have a very trustworthy sounding voice, which sounds great for this type of product!! Overall, I think you did a good job, especially
      considering that some of these lines are a mouthful. Working on breath control (or trying to complete the longer lines in one breath if possible) may help add some extra smoothness and improve diction at the ends of sentences. Nice work!

      • #65825
        Shmuel
        Participant

        Good feedback, thank you Caryn

    • #65783
      adriannagregory11
      Participant

      Ahhhh! I meant to add this as a main post not a reply!! HELP! hahaha

      Your voiceover was wonderful

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      • #65786
        adriannagregory11
        Participant

        I am 100% an amateur, and I don’t have the proper mic, but have to start somewhere 🙂

        Any feedback is great!
        Script:
        During this breathing meditation, you will focus on your breath. This will calm your mind and relax your body. There is no right or wrong way to meditate. Whatever you experience during this breathing meditation is right for you. Begin by finding a comfortable position, sitting on the floor with your legs crossed is a good position to try. Close your eyes or focus on one spot in the room. Roll your shoulders slowly forward and then slowly back. Lean your head from side to side, lowering your left ear toward your left shoulder, and then your right ear toward your right shoulder. Your body will continue to relax as you meditate. Notice how your breath flows in and out. Make no effort to change your breathing in any way, simply notice how your body breathes. Sit quietly, seeing in your mind’s eye your breath flowing gently in and out of your body.

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  • #65771
    IMs
    Participant

    A Haunting Title

    In this world, there is real evil.

    In the darkest shadows and in the most ordinary places.

    These are the true stories of the innocent and the unimaginable.

    Between the things we see and the things we fear, there are doors.

    When they are opened,
    Nightmares become reality.

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    • #65779
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Hi IMs,
      This sounds like it is for an intro to a haunted house at a theme park, or some such. IMO, you put too much character in it, UNLESS the director specifically wanted that. The audio is also not good, there is too much P and S, and distortion.
      I like the fact that you changed the stress when you said “doors”. I would try it again, using that change to show that the doors are the most scary and unpredictable thing here.
      Looking forward to the next one.

      • #65792
        IMs
        Participant

        Thanks so much, Shmuel: I really DO appreciate your detailed feedback and suggestion. All the best and G*d bless!

  • #65768
    IMs
    Participant

    Educational Explainer Video Intro Only – Real Estate

    Would you like to buy a house?
    Maybe it’s your first house, or even your 2nd and you just think that MAYBE you didn’t think hard enough about the last one.
    Listen, I love Real Estate. And in most cases, even a bad deal can work to your advantage in the very long run.
    But there are dumb things that people do without realizing it when they buy a house.
    Humor me for a short story before we get into the meat of this video.

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  • #65765
    IMs
    Participant

    Motivation Meditation

    I know that you’re scared, and it’s a good thing to be scared. Because with that fear, you realise that there is a strange adrenaline rush that takes over you, akin to most of the top athletes and singers right before they play and start their performance. As you feel scared, you can begin to you know…use this emotion for the better. Use the rush, use the adrenaline, use all of this nervous energy. You get scared because your mind pictures things not going in your favour, however the mind is creative. One of the scenarios it can create, can come from the space of courage. It’s all a picture in your head at the end of the day.
    So why don’t you take this opportunity to think of the outcome that you want, the one in which you’ll feel happy, satisfied and excited about this journey that you’re about to take. Yes, use all the nervous energy to imagine a level of euphoria unfathomable so far in your life. It’s bright and vivid. You put aside the negative images you were seeing with these new, beautiful and breathtaking ones. Yes, you can……NOW….BEGIN TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. (like a hypnotic order)

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  • #65763
    Mdmcghee34
    Participant

    HEllo everyone! Narration homework – Could you provide specific feedback on the script below? Does my read sound conversational, does the script match my voice? how is my diction.

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    • #65780
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Hi Mdm, I agree with carynbell, you have a pleasant sophisticated voice. Heck, you sound like a princess! Audio quality is very good, a tad too much with the P and S, but I had to really listen to it. Some of the words and speech need some work: “72,000 acres of wooded hills, deep ravines, and appalacian plateau …. ” should be smoother, and more continuous. You took a pause that was not needed. Same with “centuries old”, it felt like “centuries old” was a separate entity when it’s just an adjective for “Oak and Maple forest” . ” …. socially distanced outdoor activities – rapping, rock climbing, hiking …” are you sure it’s rapping and not rappelling? And “pandemic era” should be era, and not ero.

      • #65788
        Mdmcghee34
        Participant

        Hi Shmuel, thank you very much for this feedback. I’m taking notes and will make improvements. The activities are rafting not rapping.

    • #65770
      carynbell
      Participant

      You have a nice, sophisticated quality to your voice. Consider playing with pitch or intonation shifts when voicing listed items so each item stands out a little from the others. Also, research the pronunciation of “par excellence”. Nice work!

      • #65773
        Mdmcghee34
        Participant

        Thank you for the feedback!

  • #65759
    Mdmcghee34
    Participant

    Hello everyone! I am working on narration script homework. Could you provide specific feedback on the script below? Does my read sound conversational, does the script match my voice? how is my diction. Thank you for your time.

    Starlings
    It’s a mesmerizing sight: Thousands of birds move in unison through the evening sky, whirling and swooping as if performing a highly synchronized ballet. When they finally descend to their treetop roost, the beating of their iridescent wings creates such a rush of sound that the noise earned the phenomenon its unusual name: a murmuration of starlings.

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