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  • #15468
    Edge Studio
    Edge Studio Staff

    The Edge Studio Feedback Forum is the best place for you to post a recording and get feedback from the community! Record in your home studio, upload the file, and see what people think. This is a great place to get some advice on your technique, on your home studio, or to ask for people’s opinion on your reads. Remember, that this is a community forum, so please remain positive and encourage your peers in helpful ways. If Edge Studio feels that a user is too negative, or antagonizing other members of the community, they will have their posts deleted, and risk being banned from further communication. 

    Stay positive, listen to each other, and have fun!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by Edge Studio.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Andrew Warner.
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  • #65945
    CYeschenko
    Participant

    Continued practice! Any comments are appreciated, especially those focused on performance and the style of read- I am much more comfortable with commercial reads and narration, so working on corporate materials is to help broaden the scope of work that I am able to record. Thanks!

    Upstart Corporate Conference

    Welcome back everyone. In this next segment, we’re going to be looking at the evolution of our selling methodology. Like we said before, UpStart’s target demographic is millennials, and how they want to be sold to is unlike any generation before them.
    In fact, many of you may be millennials, or be just like millennials yourselves – and that’s why you’re a good fit for this job. You’re the kind of consumer who is checking online reviews, looking at a company’s Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and really buying into a company’s branding and ethos before you’re ‘sold.’
    That’s why UpStart preaches a relationship-focused sales strategy. We will equip you with the time, resources and backup to build strong, authentic relationships with potential clients, instead of pushing a product at all costs.
    It’s integral that our clients have a real, normal human first interaction with our sales staff, where we simply tell them what we’re offering, and educate them on the state of the startup scene in their market. It’s absolutely vital that you don’t rush the first date at UpStart. Interested clients have seen our Instagram ads, they get it.
    We want to make them feel like they’re having a link up with a buddy in a coffee shop.

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    • #66043
      jasjol71
      Participant

      Very nice. I have little to add to the previous comments, which I totally agree with. Great voice/timbre for this genre and appropriate pacing. I think Katelyn already gave tons of good advice.

    • #66015
      mara_sherman
      Participant

      Your tone is great, and you speak very clearly. It’s just a little fast. You may want to slow down just a tad.

    • #65967
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Cyeschenko, really well done! You have a great voice for this genre. Very clear, understandable and approachable. The pacing was great too – quick enough to inform without boring the listener. I was really buying into the approach presented. Well done!

      Mary

    • #65956
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      You have a really nice tone of voice for this and a very marketable voice at that. I think you could warm it up a bit, it sounds more like a documentary piece which is typically read more “matter of factly” without bringing in your personal opinions into it and letting the listener figure out how they feel about what you are presenting on their own. I think you can guide the listener into feeling how you feel about this content. Right now you sound distant from it, like an observer. Can you warm it up, bring a smile to your face and connect more with the copy? I think this will help people to stay engaged in this “eLearning” style script. Right now you sound a little bit bored about what you’re talking about. I’d love to hear this again with this feedback applied, I think you can totally nail it.

    • #65948
      RYoung
      Participant

      Excellent delivery on this narration corporate style.

  • #65938
    Johnwatkis
    Participant

    Hello All,

    This is my first time posting to the feedback forum. I’m following through on my coaches instructions and seeking any feedback you’re willing to offer. Thanks in advance.

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    • #66052
      jasjol71
      Participant

      Incredible depth of voice, and I really liked the way you infused both reads with personality. With a little tropical music in the background that Jamaica read would sound awesome on a demo.

    • #65968
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi John, first of all, welcome to the forum!

      Your voice is nice, rich, and very warm. I could tell you were delivering the first script about Jamaica with a nice smile in your voice. It was friendly and comforting, and had good variation of tone in the lists. I liked the Good RX read too and would agree that it sounded just a little bit rushed, but both were very really nice!

      Mary

    • #65947
      RYoung
      Participant

      The Good RX read was authentic and resonate, I would just slow down to drive home your points, nice work!

  • #65928
    RYoung
    Participant

    I posted this one last year from an audition I did. there is no history from the old forum so reposting it, any comments are most welcome!
    Weelearn
    Most of us know there are ways we can improve… to be healthier… happier… more effective… but knowing how to improve is a different matter. Without guidance, we often simply stay the same.
    Welcome to Weelearn – a platform where well-known experts and authors can help you get stronger in all areas of your life. Using the Weelearn video library, you can protect your body, strengthen your mind and spirit, become a more positive influence in your relationships, pursue success more confidently at work, and so much more.
    Our experts are taken from fields of hard science, like psychology, but also areas of broader wisdom, like spirituality. And with videos broken up into digestible parts, and supplemented by exercises and games, the next step to your best self is truly only a few clicks away.
    Don’t be stuck in life, love, work – or anything! Try Weelearn for yourself today.
    Weelearn – learning through watching.

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    • #66068
      Johnwatkis
      Participant

      Hello RYoung,

      Great resonance, pacing, and overall vocal quality. The read felt friendly and inviting. If I would suggest anything, it might be playing with your higher register when you finish a couple sentences. I’m nitpicking. That is all I would offer for “next time” with this read.

    • #66053
      RYoung
      Participant

      Thanks both, appreciate your listening!

    • #66044
      jasjol71
      Participant

      Tried to find something to critique, but honestly couldn’t! Very well done!

    • #65969
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi RYoung, good job and production! Your voice is nice and comforting for this genre. Good pacing and energy throughout. Great job!

      Mary

  • #65923
    mara_sherman
    Participant

    Hello everyone! Here are some commercials I recorded for practice. Thank you so much in advance for your feedback!

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    • #66045
      jasjol71
      Participant

      Yeah, really liked the Travelocity spot. You seem to have really good command over your different “voices”… Sounds to me like someone with some acting experience or training. It’s a long spot, so I would work on keeping your energy level up for the duration. I think it could use even a bit more aggressive variation in pitch. But overall it sounded really good. If I heard this on TV or online I would think it was a pro!

    • #66006
      Sherry Newell
      Participant

      That was great! When you get to the list that starts at “you’ll have over …”, see if you can practice that a couple different ways to smooth it out just a bit. I really enjoyed your overall take on the tone.
      -Sherry

    • #65970
      mkell755
      Participant

      Hi Mara, great job! I love the energy and attitude for both scripts – very believable and relatable and your voice is really well-suited for both. You had a good smile in your voice that in turn made me smile while listening – good job on these!

      Mary

    • #65943
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Awesome work! Your voice is extremely clear and you nailed most of what you set out to achieve with this copy. The only notes I have would be small shifts that are just personal preferences- for example, the congratulations at the beginning of the first one sounds like a different thought than the full sentence, and in the second perhaps the tone on “how about 300 horses” could be shifted to make the joke land even better? The car is the solution for the problem of you always wanting horses as a kid, so punching the solution would make sense. For the horses line, perhaps a touch more snarky or even a hint of cockiness? These are small, finishing touches that might make it even better- but it is already pretty solid as is!

  • #65910
    Shmuel
    Participant

    This is an add for Royal Bank Canadian – Avion. Only the VO part, which is designed to be accopanied by various visuals. Here is the text:
    VO: Most of life, isn’t like this.

    VO: It doesn’t look like this.

    VO: Taste like this.

    VO: Or sound, like this.

    VO: And when was the last time… you felt like this?

    VO: Special moments like these are far from the everyday.

    VO: To relax, appreciate, explore, and get in touch with what really matters.

    VO: Our vacation time, is the most important time we have.

    VO: Make the most of your travel.

    VO: With more value. More freedom. More rewards.
    VO: RBC Avion

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    • #66047
      jasjol71
      Participant

      I thought it was really great. I closed my eyes and could imagine the accompanying visuals. I think you made all the right choices.

      • #66100
        Shmuel
        Participant

        Thanks, Jas

    • #65944
      CYeschenko
      Participant

      Great work as a whole- the second half in particular was well connected and connected to the message of the copy. My main note would be slow down just a touch on the first four “this” lines and find an extremely specific mental image for each one. If you can lock in what each one means to you or have a clear image of what would be showing as you’re saying the lines, you can dial in your read even more and hook the listener from the beginning. Keep it up!

      • #65973
        Shmuel
        Participant

        Thanks, Yesche

  • #65905
    Libby Ronon
    Participant

    Hi, all!

    This is my first time using the Feedback Forum! I would appreciate any critiques and suggestions regarding my technique, as I do not yet have a home studio (I’m recording off of my phone). Thank you so much!

    Kindly,
    Libby

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    • #66050
      jasjol71
      Participant

      Really liked all three reads, Libby! In the Revlon spot you showcased a lot of pitch variation, and the choices all made sense to me. Same with Butterball. Then, I listened to Asthma, and the tone was drastically different but appropriately serious and empathetic. I honestly think you nailed them all. Well done. Your phone records pretty well!

    • #65909
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Upload MP3 files, that way we can hear them and respond right away.

  • #65898
    adrothfield
    Participant

    Hi there! Looking for feedback on performance (the shorter ones are always the trickiest). Thanks!

    Audio-Technica “Rediscover Silence”
    Rediscover Silence with the QuietPoint Noise-Cancelling headphones by Audio-Technica.

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  • #65896
    adrothfield
    Participant

    Hi there! Looking for feedback on performance. Thanks so much!

    Gillette “Shields and Cools as You Shave”
    First, there’s shaving: blades, sharp and precise. Then Gillette shielding: comfy lubrication before and after. And also, cooling. Oooh, I got goosebumps. Proshield Chill from Gillette, the best a man can get.

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    • #66051
      jasjol71
      Participant

      I also liked the delivery of the goosebumps line, but I thought you could go a little less friendly/pleasant at the end and pivot toward manly man tone. Maybe I’m just used to that with other shaving product commercials 🙂 Both were good reads!

    • #65920
      Libby Ronon
      Participant

      Nice job! I think you can make your pauses between “shaving” and “blades” as well as “also” and “cooling” a millisecond shorter while still respecting the punctuation. I loved “Oooh, I got goosebumps.”

  • #65892
    DicksonVO
    Participant

    Hey Feedback Forum…tried to submit before but don’t know if my VO uploaded. Looks like it didn’t because I can’t find anything….so if at first you don’t succeed, upload again. Thanks for the feedback.

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    • #65912
      Shmuel
      Participant

      I like the Advil read. Can you get me some Advil? You sound like you really are the expert on it. 😉

      • #67023
        DicksonVO
        Participant

        Thanks Shmuel! Sorry to get back to you so late. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to listen and comment. These last couple of weeks, I’ve needed Advil…whew! I’m humbled by your comment.

    • #65901
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hey Dickson – lovely performances! Really nice!!

      Read 1 – I have nothing to add except for great job, you killed this!
      Read 2 – I heard a few glottal stops at “every” in every move. I think you can smooth out the sentence “yet the private side of Amelia would”. The first part of that sentence can be smoothed out and I think you can forgo the comma there – just thinking that it is probably proper writing but in natural speech, we likely wouldn’t pause after saying yet. Try both ways and see what feels natural when you’re not looking at the script.”
      Read 3 – Glottal stop at the o of “or longer-lasting”. There is a pause after “count (pause) on Advil”. I think it would sound more natural if you connected those words “count on Advil”. In “In a recent clinical study” you should pronounce the “a” as “ah”. You can also smooth out “no wonder doctors”, you don’t need to pause after “wonder” There were a few glottal stops throughout as well.

      Honestly, these are nit-picky things but will take your read from 90% to 100%. I think you’re fantastic! When I learned about glottal stops it opened my eyes on how to smooth out my reads. But it’s a HARD habit to break, I still catch myself doing it all the time.

      • #67022
        DicksonVO
        Participant

        I know it’s been a couple of weeks. I’ve been crazy busy but wanted to come back and thank you for your feedback. It’s so appreciated. I’ve been working on those pesky glottal stops. Those seem to get me more than most things and like you said it’s HARD to break. I’m open to any tips. Again, thank you for taking the time to listen and write your feedback.

  • #65884
    Tim-A-Doherty-VO
    Participant

    Hello everyone! This is my first time actually recording anything so bear with me as I learn to use my equipment properly haha. Any and all feedback would be much appreciated!! <3

      Script 1 (Commercial): Peet’s Coffee

    Characters like Marie. She’s a character. She does ballet. Professionally. Because character. That’s what we’re about. Alfred Peet. Now, there was a character. He brought us craft roasted. Us, as in America. You. Me. Diane. Diane’s friend. At Peet’s, we source the best beans. We roast them. We brew them. We make great coffee. We’re Peet’s.

      Script 2 (Commercial): Advil

    Muscle aches? Nothing is proven more effective or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study, Advil was found to work better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil for muscle aches more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.

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    • #65921
      Tim-A-Doherty-VO
      Participant

      Thank you all very much for the feedback! I feel like I have a solid idea of what I need to change/work on for future reads 🙂

    • #65913
      Shmuel
      Participant

      Try them again with more energy.

    • #65903
      katelyndawnvo
      Participant

      Hey Tim! All good, this is a great place to learn! There are also some really awesome Facebook groups to join to get feedback or advice on audio quality like VOpreneur or something. I think something that is useful is copy and pasting the script with a few mark ups. Hope that’s ok! I’m going to copy and paste the Advil script here with most of the places you paused or micro-paused. When you pause within a sentence you break up the copy in an unnatural way. This makes it sound like you are reading, because we never speak like this in real life. Here is your script with most of the pauses in there:

      Muscle aches? Nothing(pause) is proven more effective (pause) or longer lasting than Advil. For long-lasting relief of muscle aches, count on Advil. In a recent clinical study(upspeak), Advil was found to work(micro-pause) better than Tylenol in relieving the pain of sore muscles the day after exercise. No wonder doctors recommend Advil(pause) for muscle aches (pause) more than any other non-prescription brand. ADVIL — Advanced medicine for pain.

      Try it again and don’t pause between the sentences. Another idea is for you to literally sing the sentence and note that there are no breaks in what you are saying. Then bring it back to talking again and try to keep it as smooth – never closing the back of your throat. Connecting words and avoiding pauses within sentences will help you to sound more natural. Then you need to think about connecting to the copy emotionally and think about who you are talking to and all that good “acting” stuff 🙂

      I hope this is helpful!

    • #65900
      adrothfield
      Participant

      Hi Tim! Nice sound, but I think you’re either too close to the mic or your gain is set too high. You’ve got a nice, relaxing tone, but it’s starting to border on monotone; try spicing it up and varying tempo, volume, or pitch. Find the story within this commercial and really tell it!

    • #65889
      IMs
      Participant

      I like your recordings: professional-sounding, Tim-A-Doherty-VO…

      All the best to you!

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